Seneca Surrender (20 page)
She was silent for a moment, while her gaze sought out almost anything but him. At last, she asked, “But you are also in love with Wild Mint?”
“I am,” he said. Ah, he was beginning to understand where this was all leading. He added, “All that I do is because of my love for her.”
“Is there a place then, truly, for me in your heart?”
“You are already in my heart. You have been there for many days now.”
“But in second place.”
He didn’t pretend to misunderstand her. Instead, he leaned toward her and took her in his arms, bringing her in close and nestling her head against his shoulder. Spotting that lock of hair that had teased him earlier, he grabbed it and twirled it around his finger. He took a deep breath and inhaled the sweet fragrance of her before he said, “I see that we need to speak about this so that we understand each other better. Know that my intentions toward you are those of marriage. Now that we have shown each other our passion, we should follow that up by making the pledge of devotion to one other. But, even as I know this is how it should be, I cannot do it, unless there is an urgent need to do it. A pregnancy would be such a need.” He hesitated briefly as he chose his next words with care. “Otherwise,” he continued, “I can marry no one until my obligation to Wild Mint is brought to a conclusion.”
A long pause followed, until at last, she said, “Yes, so you have told me. But I suppose what I little understand is why? I fail to grasp the problem with your marrying another or even falling in love with another, as long as it wouldn’t prevent you from scouring the countryside to find Wild Mint’s murderer.”
He sighed deeply. “I cannot do it because …”
Sarah waited. “Because?”
“Because … she is still with me.”
He felt her body start. She said, “I beg your pardon?”
“She is still with me.”
“But she is dead, is she not?”
“
Nyoh
, yes.”
Nyoh
, yes.”
“Then you mean she is still with you in spirit?”
“
Nyoh
, yes, and also in body … sometimes.”
Nyoh
, yes, and also in body … sometimes.”
“In body? Sir, I fear I fail to understand.”
“Neither did my family. It is why I left my village and ventured out on my own to find her killer. To those who loved me, I became a brooder, a loner, for I spent all my days with her, a ghost, and ignored my family. They feared my influence over others in my clan, for they thought that at her death, I had lost my wits. But I had not lost my sanity. She was truly with me.
“Often I would return home from a hunt and find a fire lit for me,” he continued. “My meals were fixed as she had done when she was alive, and my living space within the longhouse was cleaned. On inquiry, I discovered that no one had been in my quarters. Over time she began to appear before me; she would share my meal and we would talk.”
Sarah sat back to look into his face. That she was disturbed by his confession was evident, and she said, “How bizarre. How long did this continue?”
“To this day.”
“To this day?” she repeated, her astonishment almost tangible. “And how long were you married?”
“A very short time, although we had been in love all through our youth, almost since the time we could walk. But our marriage was no more than a few seasons old—perhaps two or three seasons.”
“About nine months?”
He nodded. “Sometimes she would appear before me, a misty image of how she had looked in the flesh; sometimes she would merely talk to me. We walked together. We laughed together as of old. And though her touch upon me was as cold as the ice on a winter river, still, she comforted me in my grief. She comforts me even to this day.”
“You are still in love with her.” It was no question. “Tell me,” she said, “is she with you now?”
“Sometimes.”
“At this very minute?”
“No. She is not here now.”
“And so the truth, as I understand it, is that you can’t marry anyone because you are still married … to her?”
“
Nyoh
, that is true.”
Nyoh
, that is true.”
His confession rocked her back on her heels, and she asked, “Is that why you said that I have brought you back from the dead? Because you were slipping more and more into her world?”
“
Nyoh
. Yes.”
Nyoh
. Yes.”
“You wished to be with her.”
“I did.”
She glanced away from him, then back. “What will happen if you find this murderer and kill him? How will that affect the two of you?”
“She will be freed from her grief, and so will I. I had once thought that when that happy moment occurs, I might join her and bring about my own death through battle. But now, I think not. Life itself holds much for me. Indeed, I find that I have changed my mind about death.”
Sarah nodded, but when she remained silent, White Thunder went on to say, “You say that I saved your life, and I see how this is so. But if I am to be honest, I would admit that you have saved mine, also.”
“Truly?” she asked as she sank in against his embrace.
He tightened his arms around her. “It is true. And so I will do my duty to Wild Mint, who has been with me all these years, and to whom I gave my devotion so long ago. But when I am done with my duty, and the murderer found and justice served, I would like to have a new life, one that includes you … and if you will have me … as my woman.”
Sarah, who was nestled in against him, was silent.
After a time, he asked, “Tell me, what do you think? Have I been touched by the sun?”
“No, sir,” she said, “you have not. Indeed, if your sanity is to be in question, then so, too, is mine. However, your story does raise some questions with me, and I wonder, does Wild Mint know about you and me?”
“She does.”
“And does she hate me? Women can be jealous of each other.”
“
Neh
. She is happy that I have found you.”
Neh
. She is happy that I have found you.”
“Happy? Are you certain?”
“She is joyous to see that I have begun to smile again. For most of these years, I have been like a dead soul, existing but not really living, except by my desire to exact revenge. But as bad as it was for me, Wild Mint was more tormented than I.”
“She was?”
He nodded. “She not only lost her life, which is most precious, but she lost her unborn child, as well as me and our marriage. This loss also came at a time when she was to be honored by her clan for her charm and her assistance to the clan mothers.”
“It came at the height of her success,” Sarah commented.
“
Nyoh
, yes. She is suffering still, and will continue to be tormented until I can find this man and kill him. Only then will she be free to move on to the next world.”
Nyoh
, yes. She is suffering still, and will continue to be tormented until I can find this man and kill him. Only then will she be free to move on to the next world.”
Sarah was quiet for so long that he was astonished when he heard her say, “I will help you.”
“Help me?”
“Aye. I am not without feelings for you, sir. Twice I would be missing from this world, were it not for you—and I … I care for you. So, yes, I will help you … and Wild Mint.”
“I would welcome your assistance.” He drew her in closer to him and proceeded to massage her spine, his body reacting with all the renewed strength of a young man who was easily aroused.
He closed his eyes, doing nothing more than glorying in the emotional rush. He wasn’t expecting it, but from out of nowhere came a feminine voice that said,
“Nyah-weh
.
”
“Nyah-weh
.
”
White Thunder knew well who was speaking, but Sarah pulled back to gaze up into his face. She said, “Did you say something, sir?”
“Not I,” he replied. “But if you listen closely, I think you will hear Wild Mint saying thank you to you. She is grateful to you, as I am.”
Fourteen
Two days had come and gone. But there was something unnerving in sensing that a ghostly presence might be watching your every move. Indeed, it did much to curtail one’s activities and romance.
It also caused Sarah to feel more than a little reserved toward White Thunder, and as she sat beside him, checking over his wounds and bandages, she avoided his gaze. Happily, she noted that despite the lack of stitches to his arm where the cuts were deepest, he was healing well.
“It appears that your suggestion on wrapping the wound is working,” she commented as she sat forward to tightly rewrap the bandage.
He nodded, his glance intent on her, although all he said was, “Yes. It would accomplish the same thing.”
Silence stretched between them until at last, he declared, “There is something bothering you.” It wasn’t a question.
Because Sarah was becoming accustomed to this man’s unusual perception of her moods, she didn’t take the pains to contradict him. Instead, she said, “I … I wonder how much longer you plan to stay here, and if, when we go, you will help me to discover the whereabouts of Miss Marisa.”
The intensity of his glance hadn’t changed, although he responded to her softly, saying, “We will remain here to make dry meat and pound roots and berries so that we may take these foods with us. In this way we won’t require a fire or the necessity to go on the hunt each day in order to survive. And yes, we will attempt to find the tracks of your friend, Miss Marisa, though those prints may be gone now. It has rained considerably.”
“Yes, I know, but I must try … so I thank you.” She tied the bandage in place on his arm. “As I’ve said, I’m uneasy about her; it seems to me that she might be in trouble, and I don’t think I’ll rest easily until I find her.”
“That is to be expected,” he replied, “since she was in your care, and you are friends. But I fear this is not what is really bothering you. Is it?”
“No, sir, ’tis not.”
He waited in silence, and Sarah found it hard to force her gaze up to meet his. Rather, she gathered up the rag that she was using to wash his wounds, and set it over the gashes on his chest.
But he caught her hand, and placing a finger beneath her chin, he raised her head up until she was looking directly into his eyes. He said nothing, but then, he didn’t have to.
At last, she said, simply, “I’m afraid, sir.”
“Afraid?”
“Perhaps afraid isn’t the right word. Mayhap a more apt expression might be
concerned
. Since you told me about Wild Mint, I worry that she might be here looking over my shoulder. ’Tis not a good feeling to think that someone might be watching me from afar.”
concerned
. Since you told me about Wild Mint, I worry that she might be here looking over my shoulder. ’Tis not a good feeling to think that someone might be watching me from afar.”
“There is always someone watching,” he said with a shrug.
“What? ”
He brought her hand to his lips, where he kissed her fingers. “This is well known to the Iroquois. Is it unknown to you?”
“Yes, sir, it is unknown to me. Of what are you speaking? ”
He frowned. “Think of all the people who have come and gone before you. Some have moved along to the next world, but some have not. That’s why there is always someone watching.”
“As in God looking over you?”
He nodded. “But for your peace of mind, let me assure you that Wild Mint is not here, not now.”
“How do you know this?”
He turned aside. “I simply know. I’m sorry this has bothered you.”
“’Tis an odd situation, is it not?”
“Perhaps, but not to me. I’ve lived with it these past fifteen years.”
Their eyes met, and she was certain a moment of empathy sprung up between them, for she realized that if she were troubled, so, too, was he. Circumstance had forced him to live amid distress all these years, as he had tried to appease a woman he had once loved, and loved still to this day.
He opened his arms wide to Sarah. “Come here,” he said simply.
She didn’t pretend to be coy, not when she’d been yearning for this exact moment. Rather, she fell in against him at once, as though he were a magnet and she were made of iron.
He closed his arms around her, and Sarah felt him nestle in against her. It was a delicious feeling.
He said, “I thought there might be something weighing heavily on your mind, but I had little understanding of how to unburden you. I missed you last night. I had expected you to sleep next to me.”
“Yes, I know, but I couldn’t. I’m doing the best I can in a difficult situation, sir. We are not married, and are not likely to ever be—”
“A condition we should remedy in the future, after we are both free.”
“No, you know we cannot. We are from two different worlds. Once we are away from here, we will share nothing in common, and we will both have to return to our own people—and those people don’t marry well, and—”
“Shhh.” He laid a finger over her lips. “Most anything can be done if one wishes it.”
“But, I—”
“Shhh.” This time he placed his lips over hers. Slowly, his mouth ravished hers, and with a sigh, Sarah capitulated to his mastery, putting aside for the moment whatever it was she’d been about to protest.
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