Seneca Surrender (19 page)
He quirked an eyebrow at her, but at last said, “I have no method by which I can answer that. Already I find my wits challenged to understand your viewpoint, let alone that of the English slave master.”
“Yes, I can see ’tis true. But ’tis also curious, don’t you think, that I can now remember so much, yet nothing of my parents or how I came to be placed into the position that I hold. But I was young when it happened. I was only fourteen …”
“And you are twenty and nine now?”
“Yes, sir, that’s right.”
“It is strange.”
“What is strange?”
“Fifteen summers ago, about the time when you were being forced into servitude, I lost Wild Mint.”
“Indeed,” she replied as she looked down and away from him, “it seems it was a bad year.”
“Nyoh
.
”
.
”
Silence fell upon them then, until at last, Sarah took note that he could barely keep his eyes open. Sitting forward, she straightened the boughs and blanket around him, and said, “Rest now. I assure you that I’m fully capable of fixing our supper, and when you awaken, we shall eat.”
He yawned, then smiled at her, before saying, “It’s a good plan. A very good plan.”
There it was again, she thought as she stared down into his eyes. His smile could be likened to a shaft of light descending down into a forest of gloom, and despite herself, Sarah found it difficult to pull her gaze away from him. She did accomplish it, however, and she said, “I thank you for all you’ve done for me, sir, and I pray that you will be able to rest well, and long before—”
“I would sleep better if you were here beside me.” He patted the space next to him.
Sarah cast him a surprised look, then said, “Better perhaps, but not for as long, I think. No, you rest, while I cook.”
“Very well,” he agreed, “but when I awaken …”
He never finished the sentence. No sooner had the words left his lips, than he fell into an abrupt sleep.
And Sarah, watching him, smiled.
Thirteen
Her touch was as cold as a blizzard in the dead of winter. He reached out for her, but she giggled and moved out of grasp.He followed her. “Wait for me,” he called, but she had the advantage of floating over the grasses and tree trunks.She stopped suddenly, allowing him to catch up to her. She gazed up at him and smiled, her round and pretty face mirroring her delight. Then she pointed to the plant that grew directly beneath her feet.He recognized that plant. It was one his grandmother had often collected. Its root was used for …
He awoke suddenly. Where was he?
Glancing to the right and to the left, he at last realized he had never left the cave. It had been a dream, of course. Looking around further, he took note of Sarah in the foreground, working over the fire, and he sighed.
Ah, beautiful Sarah.
She was stoking the flames of the fire in an effort to cook something—and it smelled very much like a stew. The aroma of it was intoxicating and rich with the scents of bone broth and of wild spices and fresh herbs, and as he inhaled deeply, his stomach growled.
Narrowing his glance toward her, he studied Sarah more closely. Her beauty was, indeed, without comparison, and remembering all she had told him earlier, he found it singularly odd that, indentured servitude or not, she had never married.
Her blond hair had escaped the knot that she’d used to tie it back, and golden-blond tendrils fell in loose ringlets around her face. Her dress was simple, a casual affair consisting of a tight-laced structure with elbow-length sleeves that made her waist look as if he might span it with his hands. Petticoats that were stiff and hooped on the side brought her a measure of dignity, though the front of her gown was dangerously low at her chest, beneath which her nipples played an enticing game of peek-a-boo with him.
He watched as a curl bounced around her face while she worked and he knew a desire to twirl its softness around his finger so he could study the differences in its color, from pale blond to tawny to daffodil. She was a delicately built woman, small and feminine, and without consciously willing it, his loins stirred to life as he watched her work.
To counter the effect she was having on him, he sat up, yawned, stretched and then said, “I believe I know how to keep you from becoming pregnant.”
She clasped her hand to her chest, and sent him a surprised look. “You gave me a fright, sir. I didn’t know you were awake.”
“I have roused myself only recently.”
“Yes, you have been asleep for some time. I’m glad you were able to rest easily and long. I have meanwhile made us a soup for our supper. There were many roots and vegetables that you collected, and I have used some of them.”
“It smells like a feast,” he commented, “and I am hungry.”
She picked up one of the shells that he had fashioned into a bowl and using it, scooped out some soup. “Shall I bring the stew to you?”
“I can come there to you,” he said, whereupon he struggled to get up to his feet. It wasn’t as easy as he’d thought it would be, and he had almost collapsed before she rushed to his side to steady him.
“What are you thinking?” she scolded. “You need rest in order to recover. One would suppose, the way you are acting, that you battle with bears daily.”
He smiled. “Almost.”
She helped him to sit back upon his bed, then straightened the blanket and pine boughs around him. “I’ll bring you the soup.”
“Good,” he said, shutting his eyes momentarily. “Good.”
She was gone only a moment. “Careful,” she said as he made to take the shell full of broth and vegetables out of her hands. “It’s hot.”
He grinned at her and caressed her fingers as he accepted the shell. When she didn’t pull away, he stared straight into the depths of her gentle blue eyes, as though by doing so, he might see into her soul.
He murmured, “I was watching you as you worked.”
“Were you, sir?”
“Yes.”
“And what did you see?”
“A beautiful woman. A woman I would like to spend the rest of my life with, if only things were different.”
She gazed away from him. “But they are not different,” she said, and pulled her hand away from his. “Do you like the soup, sir?”
He took a sip. It was very good. “You spoke true,” he remarked. “You are a good cook.”
She smiled at him, and as she did so, it was as if the sun shone upon him in this dark and dreary cave. It was good, if strange, for it made him feel as if he were seventeen again, complete with all the wild impulses of the very young. So lovely was she, he thought, he might likely die a happy man to simply look at her.
Upon that thought, he drank the rest of the soup without once dropping his gaze from hers. Indeed, with his eyes, he caressed her. At last, the stew was gone and he handed the shell back to her.
“Would you like some more?”
“
Nyoh,
yes, please.” He watched as she came up to her feet and stepped toward the fire, his glance admiring the feminine sway of her hips as she moved. When she returned, he again caught her hand, only this time, he didn’t let it go. “I have found a remedy for one of our problems,” he said.
Nyoh,
yes, please.” He watched as she came up to her feet and stepped toward the fire, his glance admiring the feminine sway of her hips as she moved. When she returned, he again caught her hand, only this time, he didn’t let it go. “I have found a remedy for one of our problems,” he said.
“Oh? ”
“Yes, I have come to realize that there is a root that grows with profusion in these woods, and that, if I prepare it in the correct manner, it might well keep you from becoming pregnant. I used to watch my grandmother make medicine from these roots. Hopefully, it is not too late in the season for me to find this plant and pull it up, roots and all. I will begin a search for it as soon as I’m able.”
As he stared at her, he took note of the rosy color that was flooding her countenance, even as she glanced away from him. But again, she didn’t withdraw her hand from his.
In due time, he said, “In my dreams, Wild Mint showed me this root. I had forgotten it. But I was never apt at learning all that my grandmother knew, though she did try to instruct me in it.”
Sarah frowned at him. “It is a shame that your grandmother wasn’t able to teach you all of her skills. I’m certain she knew much more about these things than I will ever know. But, sir, I would like to note an observation.”
He nodded.
“I notice that you speak of Wild Mint as if she were a living being.”
“Indeed I do. That is because she does live,” he said, “but no longer in the flesh.”
“I see. I have said it before, so forgive my repetition. But I am sorry for your loss.” She retrieved her hand from his hold, and fetched the shell from him. “Would you like more? ”
He nodded, and she again arose to step toward the fire. When she returned, she began at once to speak to him. “I must admit, sir, that your logic at times confuses me.”
He slanted her a frown. “I’m sorry. What have I said now that seems to defy logic?”
“Some of the things you spoke of earlier—there are a few of your ideas that are troubling me.”
“Tell me.”
“One of those notions is that you spoke of marriage and told me without reservation that if I were to become pregnant, I must marry you. On the other hand, if I were not to become pregnant, then you don’t wish to marry me at all.”
“Yes, I did,” he agreed. “But I spoke without understanding you completely. When you told me how it is with you, I changed my mind. This is why I’m happy that I’ve been shown this root. It might prevent the problem of pregnancy from occurring altogether.”
“Yes,” she said, but she sat silently before him, staring at her hands. Something was wrong.
“Is there another concern on your mind?”he asked.
“Yes, sir, there is,” she replied. “By bringing up this subject of pregnancy, I am urged to think about marriage. Now ’tis not that I’m trying to marry you, sir. On the contrary, ’twould be most implausible to do so, considering who you are and who I am. But why were you suddenly demanding that I marry you, as though you were a tyrant?”
“This is a good question,” he answered, “and I can see how it might confuse you. Let me explain: A child is a most valuable person to a tribe, and it is agreed upon by my people that a child must be brought into the world in the right way. This requires many sacrifices on the part of the parents, whose duty it is to bring their baby up right. He must receive training in the ways of the tribe, but mostly he must be raised with love and devotion. It is my belief that a child prospers best when he has two parents who are deeply in love with each other. It is as though the couple passes on this love to their child.”
As he spoke, he watched her closely, for the subject was an important one. He saw her hesitate and frown before she said, “You speak of marriage, sir, and you speak of love. Tell me, since this is how you see it, do you love me?”
Her question took him aback for, though skilled in the powers of observation, he hadn’t seen it coming. Carefully, he schooled his features into a frown, so that his countenance wouldn’t mirror his surprise.
Did he love her? He certainly wanted to make love to her. But that wasn’t the same thing and he knew it.
Was it possible for him to love another woman besides Wild Mint? Unfortunately for him and the problems that confronted him at this particular moment, he had no answer to that.
Therefore, to avoid giving Sarah a direct answer, he asked, “Have we not already made love?”
Her stare at him was more than a little annoyed. “Sir,” she said, “you are avoiding answering my question.”
He took a deep breath, then agreed, “You are right, so let me say this: There is much passion between us. It is a good foundation for two people.”
“But do you love me, sir?”
Feeling a little trapped, he stared at her, and despite the fact that she was putting pressure on him, he couldn’t help but admire the gentle rise and fall of her lashes. Did he love her?
At last he responded, asking, “Do you love me?”
She shook her head and bemoaned, “I asked you first, sir.”
This was the sort of discussion, he thought, that a man, regardless of race, would rather avoid. However, that wasn’t possible in this situation, simply because she was sitting directly in front of him, and she expected an answer.
In the end, he opted for the truth, and he said, “I little know how to answer you, so let me say this: Because of you, my world has grown brighter. Because of you, I look to each new day as a day that I might share with you, and it is good feeling. Do I love you? It is possible, and I wish I could say yes without reservation. However, I cannot. But this I do know, and this I can tell you true: Because of you, I have returned to the land of the living, and I no longer ponder upon death longingly. Moreover, when I look at you, I admire all that you are. I desire your embrace in the most elemental way a man can, and I would like to see my children growing in your belly. If that be love, then
nyoh
, I love you.”
nyoh
, I love you.”
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