Seize the Day (16 page)

“Oh, a while ago now. In honor of my boy, Kevin Hill. He passed.”

“Oh, no. I remember Kevin. So sorry to hear that. I had heard that he was sick. But what in the world happened on the bus? I watched that interview with my mouth open. I recorded it.”

“It's a lot to share. Wish we could really talk about it.”

“We can,” she said. “My kids are with their dad. His brother's son is having a birthday party and he took them. So I'm available. But are you getting back on the bus?”

“No. I mean, I don't have to. I have an appointment in Atlanta on Monday. But that's a few days away. So, I can get there whenever I need to. I can stay if you're available.”

I thought I was dreaming. This day was shaping up to be one of the more memorable of my life. So much happened. To have this drama of the heart attack happen in Charlotte, in Kathy's town, and for her to have sent me her cell number and for her to be available to see me…well, I had to take it as fate.

Kathy said she would be at the hospital in about forty-five minutes. That gave me enough time to get a few minutes with Gene before the replacement bus arrived.

“I've got to tell you something,” I said. “What we just went through together, well, I…uh, I just think it's only right that I tell you this.”

Gene nodded his head. I was surprised. He talked so much that I knew he'd have something to say. I was wrong.

“I have cancer. Some kind of stomach cancer. Rare. Nothing they can do. I've been given about six months. Maybe. They don't know for sure, but they know it's spreading and they can't control it.

“So that's the real reason I'm going to Atlanta: To see this holistic expert to cleanse the toxins out of my body. It won't save my life. But it could extend it and allow me to not be beaten down as chemo would.”

Gene shook his head and looked away. “I'm sorry to hear that. I appreciate you sharing that with me. I almost wish you hadn't. I see you as a guy full of life.”

“Well, you should because I'm alive. And until that changes, I'm going to be full of life. I don't really know what that means or how that will play out. But I'm open to whatever is out here.

“I don't know about you, but what we did today, that makes me want to live even more. I told the TV reporter: We were strangers who bonded to save another stranger's life. That's the biggest thing I've ever done, along with helping create my daughter. I have helped give life and I have now helped save a life. Those are extremes that motivate me to live.”

“I'm glad to hear that,” Gene said. “Life is an adventure and—”

“And my life has been more of an adventure since I learned I'm going to die,” I said. “I hadn't really thought about it, but that's the truth. I feel like anything can happen now. The crazy part is I never felt that way before now.”

“All I can say is live your life, man. Do things that make you happy.”

“That's why I'm not getting back on the bus. I have a friend, a woman I was in love with, who lives here and is coming to pick me up. Haven't seen her in more than ten years. But I'm still in love with her…even though she's married.”

“What are the odds that this would happen here?”

“That's what I said to myself.”

We exchanged numbers and vowed to keep in touch. And I believed we would. Many times, I met people and exchanged business cards and never had another conversation. This was different. We experienced something that I believed would keep us connected.

I chatted with the other passengers until the replacement bus and driver arrived. I retrieved my bag and watched as the bus pulled off I said a quick prayer that they make it safely to their destinations.

I rolled my bag inside the hospital to make sure I looked presentable for Kathy. I ran a small comb through my facial hair and pulled out my toothbrush and toothpaste and cleaned my mouth. I splashed on a little Vera Wang for Men cologne, but only a little. I remember how good a nose Kathy had. A lot would be overpowering to her.

A smile came to me as I thought about that little trait about her. It reinforced that I was connected to her. I went back outside and spent the remaining ten minutes waiting on her by thinking of things about her that made her unique to me.

Like, she wore a watch on her right arm. She used to say, “Who came up with the rule that you have to wear it on your left? You
have
to wear it on your left? I don't think so.”

She'd also pinch you when you said something that was borderline mean or inappropriate. One time, I said about her girlfriend: “She needs to do something with her hair. How can she come out in public like that?” Kathy smiled, came over to me and pinched me on my shoulder. Not too hard, but just enough to be right on the line of playful but still punishing.

And when she laughed a good laugh, it was so loud you'd be shocked that it came out of such a small woman. She was only about five feet four inches, but she seemed taller because of the four- or five-inch heels she insisted on wearing. In fact, I made a bet with myself that she would be wearing tall heels when she arrived.

Interesting: When I met her, she wore flats. We were standing outside at the Washington Harbour, near the water, and I noticed her not far from me. “How are you today?” I asked, and she said, “Better than that guy right there.”

She pointed to a man who was sitting with one woman having a drink when another woman approached. We could not hear the words, but the body language told that he was busted.

I said to her: “Is a guy gonna come up to me for talking to you right now?”

And she said, “Well, if he does, it will be a case of mistaken identity.”

We laughed and chatted and set up a date for the next day. We met back at Washington Harbour to eat at Sequoia, and she pulled up at valet right behind me. I noticed her, so I waited as she got out of the car. What I saw astounded me.

This woman in flats and a loose skirt of Friday wore fitted jeans that revealed a curvy body I had no idea was hidden under her clothes. Her breasts were pushed together and sitting upright. I was like, “Wow.”

“You look nice,” I said. “Different, but nice.”

After a few Crown Royals with a splash of Coke, she shared: “I look totally different today, don't I? I thought I'd let you know what I was working with.”

“A lot, I see. It's nice, but I had no idea. I enjoyed our conversation.”

“And that's why I was so interested in seeing you again. You had no idea how I really looked. I was just out to enjoy the weather and we met. But you were interested in me, and not because I was all glammed up. I don't think I'm all that or anything like that. But I've dealt with men who showed right away that their interest in me was about what they saw, not what they saw in me.”

That was the last flashback to our beginning that I had before noticing her pulling up in a black Maxima at the hospital. I could see her smile seemingly lighting up the interior of her car. Her smile always made me smile.

I pulled my bag toward the rear of her vehicle. She popped the trunk, but also exited the car. Seeing her again after so long almost gave me chills. And it warmed my heart at the same time. It was as if she was moving in slow motion and I was transfixed on the pavement, unable to do more than stare at her.

She walked right into my arms, smiling the entire time. “Oh, Calvin,” she said as we hugged. “Where have you been? I can't believe I'm seeing you now.”

My eyes were closed. I had a couple of serious relationships after Kathy, but nothing that was worth me even maintaining the friendship after it was over. Maya's mom, Skylar, was the longest relationship I had, and it lasted with me in the wrong way for the wrong reasons. The sweet essence of Kathy lasted with me like a virus for which there was no cure.

We finally, after about a minute, ended the embrace, took a step back and looked into each other's eyes. I won the bet with myself. She had on heels.

“You look like I remember. And I feel like I used to when I looked at you,” I said.

“Really? How do you feel?”

“Alive,” I said. What irony.

“I
like
the bald head on you,” she said. “It threw me off when I saw it on television, but you have the right peanut-shaped head for it.”

“Nothing changed, huh? Still think you're funny.”

“You
think you're funny? I am hilarious. Maybe I'm not funny to you or anyone else, but sure enough to me. I crack myself up.”

I smiled and hugged her again. She hugged me back tightly. I didn't know if there was a message in her hug, but I took it as one.

“Good to see you—and feel you.”

“Put your bag in the trunk. What are we going to do?”

“This is your town. I've been here for a Panthers game once, and that's about it.”

“OK, well, are you hungry? Let me take you to dinner and tell you about my life.”

And so we went to a placed called Harper's, across the street from SouthPark Mall, which, amazingly enough, was the one restaurant in Charlotte I had been to. I did not say anything to Kathy about it, though. Didn't see the point.

“I think we have aged well,” she said as we walked into the restaurant.

“And you have two children, so you really have taken care of yourself.” There was no indication that she had given birth. I didn't care if there was, but she happened to have managed to keep her weight down.

We were seated after about ten minutes of chatting.

“How have you been able to keep your weight under control?”

“When I am upset, I don't each much,” she said—her first words she uttered without smiling. “And I've been upset a lot.”

I was hardly psychic, but I knew where this was going: the marriage.

“Upset about what?” I had to make myself ask it. I didn't like giving in to people's whims. Want to tell me something, just tell me. Don't drag it out.

“My life in general, my marriage in particular.”

I tried to look surprised.

“Well, marriage can be challenging, I'm told. You can work it out. You just have to be committed to it.”

That was my weak advice for the day. Felt guilty saying words that indicated I supported her marriage when I really did not. But I had no reason to
not
support it.

“I'm tired of working on it,” she said. “I always could be honest with you. I work on the job, work raising the kids, work on my relationship with my mother. And I have to work with the person who's supposed to be my soul mate, too? Where is my break, my relief?”

“You're having it right now; no kids, no husband. Just two old, dear friends catching up over a meal. Priceless.”

She laughed and we ordered our dinner, talked, had dessert and talked some more. “You sure enough ate well tonight,” I said. “You wolfed down that roasted chicken as if you used a straw.”

“Being with you, I'm not upset. I can be myself.”

Our server came over to check on us and removed the plates. “And now I want a coffee,” Kathy said. “Not that I need it to stay up. This one right here (pointing to me) will keep me up.”

The server smiled, and Kathy realized what it sounded like. “No. Wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like it did. What I meant is that we haven't seen each other in a long time and I'll be thinking about this conversation before I can go to sleep.”

“None of my business,” the server said, and then winked.

“This guy thinks he's a comedian, with his eavesdropping ass,” she cracked.

Kathy was the easiest person for me to let loose. Part of it was that I trusted her. She was not judgmental with me. She listened and had responses that indicated she wanted to know more. And she trusted me. Kathy was direct by nature, but the things she shared with me were intimate details of her life that were not details someone would entrust to the masses. I respected her for trusting me.

“So, if you're tired of working on your marriage, what are you going to do?”

“My kids are twelve and ten. It sounds like a cliché to me, but I'd hate for my kids to learn that I hate their father, that he's boring and a liar. More than that, I don't want them to not have the family environment.”

That was the first thing she ever said that disappointed me.

“Kathy, if you feel as you say you do about your husband, how can your children benefit from being in a home that has no love? It's dysfunctional, if I may say so, and I hear it all the time. Makes me crazy.”

“Well, don't go crazy on me. Not yet anyway. I know what you mean. It's very awkward. We basically have had separate lives for the last two years. We sleep in separate rooms. They don't see us showing affection toward each other. I wonder how it's making them look at relationships.”

“You can believe they notice. They may not say anything, but they notice… But you know and love your kids and will do the best for them. I know that.”

“I can't even act like I know what I'm doing. I'm hoping they will be fine. The truth is that neither of us can afford to live on our own. Together we can maintain a home. Separate, it gets tough. So, that's probably the main reason we stay in the same house. But that's all we share—the house and the kids.”

The look on her face was unfamiliar to me. It made me feel sorry for her.

“In the end, you have to do what you have to do. You look and sound great. So, you're handling it.”

She got teary-eyed. She used the back of her hand to wipe the corner of her eye. “I'm a little emotional because I did not see this life for myself. When I look at you, well, you remind me of a different time, when my life was carefree and all in front of me. I remember thinking about being happy and in love.

“It shows you that life doesn't always work out as you planned it to.”