Seeing Red (7 page)

Before climbing into bed, she carefully removed the
disgusting comforter; she remembered that report she saw on
television on how hotels never washed the comforters and how filthy
and full of germs they were. If that was the way they were in
hotels, she could just imagine how nasty they must have been in
this sleazy motel. She opened the suitcase and laid a few of their
clean clothes on the bed so that she could sleep on top of them. It
wasn’t much, but at least, mentally, she felt she had created some
sort of barrier between the germs on the bed and her body. She
closed her eyes and thought of Alexander.

How different this night would have been if
Alexander was with her instead of Oliver, not that she preferred
one over the other. She loved them both. They were her family, but
she could just picture Alexander’s reaction to this sleazy room.
She giggled at the thought of him seeing the room. He’d have a good
laugh and then start dancing on the stripper pole. In fact, they’d
probably fight over who could spin best.
Yuck
—that
disgusting pole.
Note to self: don’t touch that pole
.

Jillian was surprised to see Oliver walk out of the
shower in just boxer shorts. She let out a little gasp.

“Sorry, is this okay? It’s either these or jeans. I
didn’t bring anything else. We left in such a hurry. Anyway, it’s
not as you haven’t seen me naked a hundred times.”

She made an unconvincing little grin. Yes, she had
seen him naked, but that was years ago, and they were just kids.
This, well, this was something else. She was getting a full view
now. Her eyes had taken on a life of their own.
Look away! Stop
staring, moron!
When he was closing the door into the bathroom,
she had gotten a preview; now she was getting the entire movie.
Every single abdominal muscle was defined, including that sexy “V”
that went from his lower abdominals to his . . .

Even worse—or better—were his legs. She could see
his thigh muscle peeking out above his knees and below the hem of
his boxer shorts. This was not the scrawny six-year-old that helped
her peel onions on the beach or watch falling stars. She shook her
head from side to side. He stared at her, most likely waiting for
an answer. Okay, the attraction was getting out of hand.
Get a
grip, Jillian Stone!

“Yeah, of course, that’s fine. I’m just so sleepy,”
she mumbled nervously with a pretend yawn. She felt her cheeks
flush with embarrassment. For sure, he had noticed her staring—no,
drooling.

He went to sit back down on the zebra print couch.
“No! Don’t touch that. What are you doing?” She yelled, instantly
sat up, and almost stood on the bed, startling Oliver.

Instinctively, he jumped and backed away from the
couch. “What is it? Spider? Roach?” He looked around the chair to
see if he could see what she was yelling about.

“You just took a shower. You’re clean. That couch is
gross. If you touch it, you’ll have to go back and shower. Do you
have any idea how many people have probably had sex on that couch.
Yuck! You can probably catch an STD just by looking at it.”

“Okay, so I guess the floor is better?” He laughed
at her.

“Um, no, you’re right. I have seen you naked
hundreds of times, and we have slept together countless times, and
we’re practically siblings.”
Siblings? We were ten years old and
you didn’t look like a god. S
he thought it best to keep that to
herself. “Just come sleep here. I laid some clothes on the sheets
to protect us from the germs.” He looked at the barrier of clothes
she had created above the sheets and laughed.

“Killer germs, huh?”

“Don’t make fun of me. I don’t want to leave here
with an STD.”

“Ok, Jillian. You sure you don’t mind that I sleep
with you?”

“No. I don’t mind that you sleep
next
to me.
Besides, we’re practically siblings. It’s fine.”

“You already said that.” He replied with a knowing
grin.

Shit. Stop rambling!
“It’s a huge round bed.
I’m sure I won’t even notice I’m sleeping with you.”

“Yeah, right,” he mumbled under his breath.

Yeah, right.
She thought, simultaneously.
“Just stay on your side of the bed. No funny business.”
Well,
may be a little funny business won’t hurt.

“Of course not, Jillian, although, I think that your
hatred of that zebra couch is just a ploy to get me in the sack
with you.” He winked at her mischievously.

“Ha! You wish.”
I do wish.
She lifted the
blanket so that he could get in bed, and he briefly stopped to take
in what she was wearing—a t-shirt and panties.

“This is going to be a long torturous night.” He
mumbled under his breath.

I can resist
everything, except temptation.

-Helen

Oliver

He had a tickle in his nose that just wouldn’t go
away. When he opened his eyes, he noticed that it was Jillian’s
fiery red curly mess spread across his chest and a loose curl
tickled his nose. His arms were wrapped around her body; her head
was nestled into the crevice between his shoulder and armpit, and
their bare legs tangled. This felt so right, nothing like what he’d
experienced on the island when they’d all camped out on the beach.
Oh, this was not good.
He didn’t want to ruin the moment,
knowing that he may never get this close to her again. He moved the
mischievous curl away from his nose and went back to sleep, holding
her a little tighter. She moaned and inched even closer, but didn’t
wake. Yep, that sent his brain on vacation, and his body packed its
bags too.
Forget it, dude, you’re on your own now.

He wondered what she dreamed about and what her
reaction would be when she woke up. She was the one that had made
her way into his arms; although, it was his legs that were tangled
into hers. He said a silent prayer wishing she felt the same way.
He’d loved her since, well, forever.

Actually, he didn’t remember not loving her. If she
woke and even reciprocated a fraction of what he felt, he’d have
the nerve to go for it—to devour her. He’d dreamed about making
love to her for as long as he could remember. When he saw her at
the funeral after all those years apart, his heart nearly erupted.
She was more beautiful than any photo they had exchanged over the
years. He loved that she didn’t pull away when he grabbed her hand
or hugged her. He’d caught her staring at him on more than one
occasion that evening. He was ready to pounce. All she had to do
was look willing to accept. He closed his eyes and drifted off
again. He felt himself grow excited, and he hoped his excitement
would quiet down before she woke up.

***

Jillian

Jill didn’t remember the last time she felt so
rested. She opened her eyes and looked around the room, feeling
disoriented, until she saw the disco ball on the roof and felt a
warm breath on her neck. Slowly her mind caught up with her body,
and she held still, feeling Oliver’s arms wrapped tightly around
her. His palm had made its way under her shirt and rested low on
her stomach, and her head on his chest slowly moved up and down
with each breath. His bare legs were intertwined with hers. It felt
great. She twisted her body a little to look to the side table at
the clock. There was no window in the room, so she didn’t know if
it was the middle of the night or the middle of the day. When
Jillian twisted slightly to her left, he wrapped his arms tighter
around her waist and pulled her in closer to him, his thumb mere
inches from the top of her panties. She was hyperaware of the heat
he was emitting.
Or was that her?
Jill had to admit that it
felt wonderful. He felt wonderful. This could ruin their
friendship, but at the moment, the thought of his bare chest so
close to her was all she could think about—well, that and the other
parts of him that could also be just as easily bare. Her heart rate
quickened. His arms started feeling like a vise, and she either
needed something more or she needed to move away, but lying next to
him, sexually frustrated, was no longer an option. He was
temptation personified, and the damp pool between her legs was
evidence of her arousal.

“You awake?” His voice was hoarse and his warm
breath inches from her ear.

She nodded.

“You feel fucking awesome, Jillian.”

She nodded again.

“Jillian. Say something.”

She slowly looked up, knowing the moment she looked
up and into his blue eyes all bets were off. She could feel how
turned on he was, and she would be lying if she didn’t admit she
felt the same way. A whimpering wet mess was what she was. She
couldn’t remember ever being as turned on as she was at that
moment.

When their eyes met, he pulled her chin up and
brushed his thumb across her bottom lip slowly descending towards
her, but right before their lips connected, his phone rang.

“For the love of God!” Oliver snarled, suddenly
releasing her from his force field.

“You should answer that. It could be the
hospital.”

“Damn it!” He kicked the sheets up and grabbed his
phone from the other side of the room.

“Hello.”

“Oliver, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the fight. I’m
sorry about—”

“Are you okay, Alexander?” Oliver caught him off
mid-apology. “I had to stop and rest, but we’re on our way. We’re
about three hours away.”

“Put him on speaker,” Jillian whispered. Oliver
nodded and pressed the speaker button.

“We?”

“Yes, we. Jillian came with me. She’s been worried
sick. We both have.”

“So you guys are resting? Like, what, in a hotel?
Jillian rolled her eyes at his comment.

“Alexander. Are we really going to have this
conversation? You are in a hospital in El Paso! They had to pump
your stomach, and you’re asking me if I’m sharing a room with Jill?
Listen, Brother, I don’t want to lecture you again, and I feel
terrible for what I told you yesterday, but they had to pump your
goddamn stomach, Alexander. You could’ve died. The fact that
Jillian and I had to pull over and sleep should be the least of
your concerns.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I am going to fix myself, Oly.
I’m going to get my shit together. This scared me. I don’t want to
die. I feel like a selfish bastard for making you go through this.
We’ll talk when you get here. I love you, Oliver.”

Oliver looked surprised at the endearment.

“I love you too, Brother. See you soon.”

“Oliver?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“Xander!” Jill yelled at the speaker.

“Alexander! Seriously? Let’s focus on the issue at
hand—your recovery. See you soon. Love you.” He slammed the phone
down on the nightstand.

“That was intense, no?” Jillian asked, still in bed
with the covers up to her neck.

“Yes. He’s never told me he loves me and rarely
calls me Oly. Maybe this time will be different. And, what was with
those jealousy-fueled questions?”

“That’s not jealousy, Oliver. That’s . . . That’s .
. . I don’t know what that was. What was that?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders, clearly caught off
guard and upset. “Um, we should go.” He grabbed his jeans and
started pulling them on.

“Yeah.” She nodded, relieved they’d been
interrupted. She wasn’t sure that sleeping with Oliver was a good
idea. In fact, it was a terrible idea. It was a surefire way to end
their eighteen-year friendship.

Both were dressed and in the car in less than
fifteen minutes, barely a word spoken the remainder of the way to
the hospital.

When they arrived in El Paso, they went straight to
the hospital and directly to Alexander’s room.

“Xander! Oh my God. We were worried sick. What the
hell is wrong with you?” She hugged him and punched him lightly on
the shoulder at the same time.

“Ow! Watch it. I have all these needles sticking
me.” Oliver and Jill looked down and saw the IV on his arm but also
saw all the old bruises and track marks. Oliver went around the
left side of the bed and grabbed Alexander’s other arm, looking for
marks. His left arm was full of the remnants of all the needles
he’d been using to administer his drugs. He let Alexander’s left
arm fall back onto the bed.

“Alexander. This is . . . How could . . . I don’t
know what to say. Do you want to die? Because that’s where you’re
headed.”

“I know, Oly. It won’t happen again. I was mad and
got a little carried away.”

“A little!” Jill barked.

“Don’t tag-team me, guys. I feel like shit.”

“And look like hell.” Jill added.

“Jeez, Jillian, thanks. I appreciate that.”
Alexander said sarcastically.

“So, what’s the plan, Xander? I am not taking you
home this way. You need help. You need to check yourself into
rehab.”

“You just want me out of your hair. You made that
abundantly clear yesterday.”

“No, I didn’t. I told you that I needed to start my
life. I explained how I was not going to renew my lease and how I
wanted you to sober up and get your life together. I didn’t say run
off to Mexico and overdose.”

“I don’t need you, Oliver. I can take care of
myself. I don’t need the lectures. You want me to move out—fine.
Consider it done.”

“Why are you getting so defensive? Clearly, you do
need me. I am in fucking El Paso General Hospital—seven hours away
from my apartment—and you’re lying in a bed, full of marks and
bruises on . . .”

“Stop it! You guys need to stop it, right now!” Jill
yelled.

“Xander.” Jill took a deep calming breath, “Oly
didn’t mean to come here and start lecturing you,” she held her
finger up to Oliver, who was about to interrupt her. “He is worried
about you and so am I. We aren’t kids anymore. Well, we sort of are
kids, and you’re just being a typical eighteen year old, but
we,
” she pointed at the three of them “don’t have the luxury
of acting like stupid drunken teenage party animals like most
eighteen year olds, because
we
don’t have people around to
always pick up the pieces.” She sat on the edge of the bed and
grabbed Alexander’s hand. “Oly is going to go and be a photographer
for a big magazine, and he’s going to travel the world and live out
his dream. He’s going to have adventures all around the world, and
you’re his brother—his twin brother—the person he loves most in the
world. Do you want him to have one hand on a lens cap and one hand
on his cell phone, waiting and hoping that Miriam doesn’t call with
worse news than this? He can’t help that he worries, and he isn’t
going to stop worrying. Don’t you want him to have a happy life? Do
you want him suffering instead of succeeding? The only way he can
go and flourish is if you get healthy and flourish too. I am going
to be gone in a week, and when I finish at Georgetown, I’m going to
law school, and then I’m going to be a bigwig attorney at a big law
firm somewhere—a very hot and rich attorney, by the way.” She
winked and laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “But even if I’m
not around, I worry. I want you to be something great, Xander,
something that makes you happy and fulfills you. Please, I want you
to get better. What can we do to help make you better?” She kissed
the top of the hand she held and then his forehead. It seemed he
actually listened to what she said.