See You at the Show (51 page)

“It won’t work,” she whispered.
 
“And you know that, Daniel.
 
It won’t work, it
can’t
work…”

“And if I give it all up?”

She stared at him, more confused than ever now.
 
“Give
what
up?”

“The role of Prime Minister, politics, the lot.
 
I’d give every single bit of it up if it meant we could be together, I told you that once before, remember?
 
I told you I would give all of this up in a heartbeat if that was the only way we could be together, and if that’s what it takes to make it work then, believe me, it would be worth it.
 
If that’s what it takes for you to come back to me then I’ll do it in that heartbeat and I wouldn’t look back.
 
Because I love you.”

“No, Daniel.
 
No.”
 
She was still shaking her head, the tears now falling slowly down her face as she looked at him because he was serious, she could see that.
 
He meant every word but it was never going to happen.
 
“You say it would be worth it, but it still wouldn’t work.”

“Why not?
 
Of course it would work.
 
We can leave all that stuffiness and protocol behind us; we can live in a world where we both feel comfortable…”

“That place doesn’t exist, Daniel.
 
It doesn’t exist.
 
It isn’t there.
 
I’ll never be comfortable in your world and you sure as hell would never be comfortable in mine and there is no middle ground, don’t you see?”

He leaned back against the wall, still looking at her.
 
He didn’t want to take his eyes off her.
 
He wasn’t ready to do that just yet.

“No.
 
I
don’t
see.
 
I want to be with you, Stevie, more than I want to run a fucking country…”

“That’s crap, Daniel, and you know it is.
 
You’ve wanted to be Prime Minister all your life so don’t stand there and tell me that great sex is worth sacrificing that for.
 
Don’t do that.”

“Great sex?
 
We had
more
than great sex, Stevie.”

“Did we?
 
Really?
 
We were only together a few months, Daniel, hardly long enough to know that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, so this is never gonna happen.
 
I won’t
let
it happen.
 
I won’t let you give up everything you’ve worked so hard for just because you
think
you still love me.
 
Because in the end you’d end up resenting me for it, and you know that.
 
I’m not worth it, Daniel.”

“You are,” he said quietly, walking back towards her.
 
“You really are.”

She watched as he came closer, knowing she should back off and get out of here because this was ridiculous, this wasn’t happening, but she couldn’t move.
 
It was like she was rooted to the spot.
 

“Everything, Stevie.
 
I’d give up everything.
 
We can move away, anywhere you like, start again.
 
We can start a whole new life…”

“Jesus, Daniel, what kind of a make-believe world are you living in?
 
You know you can’t do that.
 
This is all just some stupid fantasy you’ve created in your head…”

He shut her up with a kiss, a kiss that took her completely by surprise but a kiss that she found herself giving into and she just fell against him, his arms catching her, holding her close.
 
Like he’d wanted to hold her for so long.
 

It was wrong, it shouldn’t be happening, but she hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to this man and those feelings she’d kept locked away were re-surfacing now, whether she wanted them to or not.
 
They were washing over her with an intensity that she couldn’t control as his hands slid down her jeans, touching her skin, and she gasped out loud, knowing what was coming next, and maybe she needed it to happen.
 
Maybe they both did.
 
As a final goodbye.

“I’m not coming back, Daniel,” she whispered, pulling away slightly.
 
It seemed only fair to give him the option of leaving it here, without anything physical happening because she didn’t want to hurt him again.
 
She’d never wanted to hurt him at all.

He looked at her, gently brushing her cheek with his fingertips.
 
He knew that.
 
Now.
 
 
He knew she wasn’t coming back.
 
Maybe he’d always known it, but he’d had to try.
 
He’d never have been able to live with himself if he hadn’t tried.

“I know.”
 
His breathing was heavy, and although he knew it was going to hurt like hell if he made love to her now, he needed this one final time to put an end to it all, and she understood that.
 
She got that, they both knew the score.
 
One final time and they could get on with their lives.

And it was both a heartbreakingly beautiful yet strangely calm experience, making love to her again.
 
He made her scream out with pleasure and cry with the painful emotion of it all but it was a necessary act, something that needed to be done, and when it was over, when he left her body for that final time it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
 
But another one quickly replaced it.
 
The weight of another situation that he now knew was inevitable.

He sat up, staring straight ahead, suddenly knowing just what it was that he had to do next.
 
Things had never felt clearer in his mind.
 
“I’m leaving her, Stevie.”

She sat up behind him, her arms circling his waist.
 
“Even though I’m not coming back?”

“I was going to leave her anyway.
 
The fact you’re not coming back has just made everything clearer, that’s all.”
 
He pulled her round to face him, gently stroking the hair from her eyes, kissing her slowly.
 
“Taking somebody back just because they fit into some stereotypical image people have isn’t right.
 
And it isn’t fair, on her
or
me.
 
Samantha may be the perfect politician’s wife, and she’s a good and beautiful woman, but…I just don’t love her anymore, Stevie.
 
I have
tried
to get that back, I’ve tried so hard, but I can’t do it.
 
It’s gone, and I’m sad about that because we had a lot of great years together, but…it’s gone.”

“Can’t you just give it a bit more time?”

He shook his head, pulling the sheet she was holding away from her so he could see her naked body one more time.
 
He wanted to take it in, remember how perfect she was.

“And the politics?”

He smiled, letting his hand run lightly down over her hip.
 
“I’ll stick with that.
 
For as long as they want me.
 
It’ll keep me busy, and I need that right now.
 
I need to be busy.”

She took his hand, wrapping her fingers tightly around his.
 
“I’m getting married, Daniel.”

He looked at her.
 
“Married?
 
You…you and Mark?”

She nodded and he felt his stomach sink.
 
She never really was going to come back to him.
 
He’d left it too late.
 
“If I’d asked you earlier…”

She shook her head.
 
“It wouldn’t have made any difference, Daniel.
 
I love my crazy world of rock stars and parties and hanging out in bars.
 
I should never have left it.”

“Do you…do you regret it?
 
You and me?”

She shook her head again.
 
“No.
 
Of course I don’t.
 
I loved you, Daniel; I want you to know that.
 
Those feelings were real; they were very, very real.
 
But Mark – he was always there.
 
He was always the one; I just couldn’t see it before.
 
I was too stubborn.
 
And so was he.”

Daniel stroked her fingers with his thumb, looking down at their joined hands.

“Does he know where you are?”

“I was with you long enough to know the drill, Daniel.
 
No, he has no idea where I am.
 
But I really should be getting back.”

She let go of his hand and got up, his eyes following her incredible body as she pulled on her clothes, running her fingers through her hair as she got ready to leave his life.
 
Again.

He got up too, walking over to her and pulling her into his arms.

“You know…you know before, when you said Angus was right?
 
What did you mean?”

“He never wanted us to be together, Daniel.
 
He kept telling me he would tear us apart, that I wasn’t right for your world, and I really wanted to prove him wrong but, how could I?
 
When he was telling the truth.”

“He…he spoke to you about this?
 
He never said…”

“Anything to you?
 
He wouldn’t, would he?”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Stevie?”

“Because I could handle him, Daniel.
 
I didn’t care what
he
thought.
 
I only cared about
you
.
 
And so did he, in his own twisted kind of way.”

He took one last look into those startling blue eyes, so many emotions still flying round inside him.

She gently ran her fingers over his mouth, kissing him slowly.

“This is it then,” he said, holding onto her tight, not wanting to let her go.

“Looks like it, Mr. Prime Minister.”

He smiled, loosening his grip on her, feeling her leave his arms and a tight pain shot across his chest.
 
“Goodbye, Stevie.”

She finally let go of him, walking backwards towards the door, determined not to cry again.
 
It was over now, it was done.
 
This is the way it had to be.
 
The only way both of them could move forward.

“Goodbye, Daniel.”

And as the door closed behind her, Daniel Madison sat down on the bed, put his head in his hands, and cried.
 

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Connor looked at his seventeen year old son, standing there with his newly-acquired tattoo and a whole new attitude and he couldn’t help thinking how much he’d grown up over the past few months.
 
Almost eighteen and he really had turned into quite a young man, who appeared to have inherited his mother’s forthright manner and determination to get what he wanted.
 

But Connor was finding it hard to cope with.
 
Luke had just told him, in no uncertain terms, just what is was that he wanted to do with his life, and although Connor should have seen it coming when he’d asked for that tattoo, it had still come as a shock.
 
Because Luke wanted to be a roadie, just like his mum.
 
He wanted to be in that world, he wanted to live that life and what could Connor do?
 
If he told him it was a bad idea would Luke resent him?
 
And if he gave him his support, what happened next?

“Luke, I…Jesus, I don’t know what to say.”

Luke sat down at the table, a look of excitement crossing his face that Connor hadn’t seen since he’d got him that iPod for his sixteenth birthday.

“Come on, dad.
 
Stevie said I was a natural, and I felt it too.
 
That whole vibe, just being around those people…it’s where I want to be!”

Connor sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair.
 
“Look I…I don’t know what you want me to do, Luke.
 
We can have a word with the college, see if we can get your course changed to something more…”

“I want to work with Stevie, dad.
 
I want to learn from
her
.
 
Out there, on the job.
 
The guys who work with her say she’s the best, she can train me up, can’t she?”

Connor didn’t know what to say.
 
This was a complete out-of-nowhere moment for him and he had no idea what to do next.

“I don’t know, Luke…have you spoken to
her
about this?”

He shook his head, fiddling with the countless leather wrist bands he was wearing.
 
Connor leaned forward, clasping his hands together.

“You know she’s moving to
Los Angeles
, don’t you?
 
Permanently I mean.
 
Now her and Mark are getting married they’re going to make
L.A.
their base.”