Seductive Truths (Seductive Trilogy) (46 page)

      I’ve changed and I do not like what I am seeing.  That is why I need to leave before I do more damage.  I have already lashed out at you when there was no need.  I wish I could say this is not me, but I’m afraid I can’t.  This is me and will be for the rest of my life.  Being told the truth caused something to snap inside.  Maybe it has been lying dormant for years.  Whatever the reason, it shows that it existed and I am not the person I thought I was.

     Please stay away from the police and do not tell anyone about what has happened I know that’s asking a lot, but please, listen to me on this.  And also stay as far away from William as humanly possible.  You now know what he is capable of.  As far as I know he has no need to seek you out.  The person he is after is currently lying in a hospital bed, that’s where his vendetta lies and unfortunately I am now part of the battle.  So you see I have run out of options, I must leave, for good.

     I’m going to miss you two, more than words can explain.  You will always have a place in my heart, how can you not.  After all you are a part of Thomas.  He’d be very proud of how Bethany is turning out, she’s a little angel.  You’ve got a heartbreaker on your hands, men better watch out.  And he’d be proud of you too Maggie.  You were that sparkle in his eye.  He never smiled and laughed as much as he did when he was around you.  He admired your strength and he’ll be admiring it now when you will need it the most.  I wish I had half of your goodness.

     Not a moment will pass whe
n
I won’t think of what I have left behind, but that’s the price I have to pay to save the ones I love.  Don’t try and look for me, I don’t want to be found.

     I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.

     Tell Bethany I love her and that I will think about her each day.

     Stay safe and embrace every moment of your lives, you never know what’s around the corner.

     And another thing Maggie, find someone, fall in love again, share your life, Thomas would have wanted that.  I want you to have that.  You and Bethany deserve it.

     I love you.

    
Goodbye Maggie
.

     Alex

     xxxxx

     A lonely tear leaks, landing on my letter and smudging the last ‘x’. 

     Tearing the paper off the pad I then fold it in half, write Maggie’s name in the centre and place it on the middle of the pillow in plain view.

     Taking one last look around the place, I switch off the light and close the door on my past forever.




     My future is lying in there.  Once I pass through the automatic doors there is no going back - a new start for a new me.  Life will never be the same again.  The daunting building is sky high, looming over the world it looks down on, emphasising its greatness and importance.  It’s a building made to stand the test of time and thrive on the entire hustle bustle that exists within.  Many hopes have died and many more have been born.  It is place that can make or break you.  One word and your life could be over.  One word and your life could just be beginning.  A place such as this can hold many possibilities, both bad and good, many life changing events.  To me it’s a place that is both scary and exciting.  Inside is whom I want to be for the rest of my life and without further ado, I take that final step and head towards it with open arms.

    Making my way to Gareth’s ward I take in those around me.  Young kids holding their new baby brother or sister and taking on the role of proud sibling like a duck to water, while their parents look on with a tender smile seeing their future laid out before them.  Families gather around their loved ones’ bed as they try holding on to the last threads of life, before their bodies give way to the afterlife.  Teenage boys plastered up to the nines all because their egos couldn’t say no to the challenge their best friend set before them.  One man is even being attended to with the removal of a fishing hook through his lip.  Yes, this hospital has seen all sorts pass through its doors, from the dangerous and downright bizarre to the wonderful and magical.  Life is never dull in a place like this.

     Entering Gareth’s room my heart quivers as I see him peacefully lying in the bed sound asleep.  Tiptoeing my way over to the chair beside it I have the opportunity to observe him at my leisure.

     His blonde hair frames his face like a halo, the harsh lines that are prominent around his eyes have smoothed away giving him a certain youngish and innocent glow.  He almost appears angelic.  My fingers itch with the need to caress his rough contours of his skin.  A strand of hair has fallen perfectly across his forehead and I imagine myself delicately sweeping it back in place while losing myself in his smoky eyes.

    
‘
Damn you’re beautiful,
’
he startles me with his husky voice. 
‘
That smile could get any man’s heart beating.
’

    
‘
I thought you were asleep,
’
I whisper and a smile sneaks its way onto my face.

    
‘
Do
z
ing, but somehow I knew it was you who walked through the door.
’

    
‘
Why didn’t you open your eyes then?
’

    
‘
I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to scrutinise without you knowing.
’
I have missed his cheeky grin. 
Yes, I am doing the right thing.

    
‘
Cheeky git.
’

    
‘
You have a beautiful smile.  Your eyes are wonderful, very expressive. The longer I stare the further I fall into the spell you hold over me.  And when you laugh it’s like chime bells ringing a sweet melody.  It’s contagious and makes me want to laugh right alongside.  I have never had any reason to laugh before, to be joyful.  And to top it off you have a cracking body that I hunger for every waking second of each day.  You drive me wild woman, pure and simple.  But most of all you have this way of turning me into this soppy sod, always eager to please you.
’

    
‘
And I am always eager in receiving your pleasing, night or day.
’

    
‘
Glad to hear that.  Being stuck in this bed has left me frustrated in more ways than one and I can guarantee as soon as they let me go, you will be receiving a lot of pleasing.
’

    
‘
I can hardly wait,
’
and I resist no longer. 

     Lifting myself off the chair I cup his cheek and kiss him with everything I got, conveying all that’s been building up over the past few days - the frustration, the fear, the loneliness, the love.  It’s all there as I kiss away the pain and in its place I find comfort. 

     My tongue slides between his lips to do battle, to explore the confines inside.  The warmth I find welcomes me.  He is home, I belong.  The passion increases along with the consumption of one another and I am experiencing a new sense of euphoria.  I can’t get enough and the next minute it appears Gareth can’t either as I feel his masculine hand make its way southwards to grope a buttock, evoking me to give a little squeal of delight.  

     Just as things are getting interesting I hear a couple of nurses talking in the background and like an icy bucket of cold water had been thrown over me, I am sharply pulled back to the reality of where we are. 

    
‘
I can’t believe we are making out in a hospital ward,
’
I whisper when our lips disengage.

    
‘
Hmmm, all that’s missing is you in a nurse’s uniform.
’

    
‘
There are plenty of nurses around here for you to feast your eyes on.
’

    
‘
But none of them is you.
’

    
‘
You keep sweet talking to me like that and I may just fall in love with you.
’

    
‘
Heaven forbid!  We can’t have that now can we?
’

     Drowning in his deep pools of blue I fall that little bit deeper.  This is it. This is what I have been missing.  The thrill of losing myself in someone but ultimately not knowing what really stands behind those windows of his. Being driven by a dangerous passion you have no control over which excites and scares me at the same time.  I am enraptured with him.  Whatever path he treads I’ll be there by his side, no matter what.  I’d give my life for him and I’ve never felt that strongly about anyone, not even William.  There’s something about Gareth that influences me to behave recklessly and I can’t seem to get enough of it.  Against my will I have been drawn into his world and heaven forbid, I don’t want to leave it.  I’ve been corrupted!

     Resting my head against his I sigh into the comfort it lends.

    
‘
I’ve missed you,
’
I whisper to which I get a low grumble as a form of reply. 

    
‘
So, how was your time with your sister-in-law and niece?
’
The rough rumble vibrates through my ear.

     Detangling from his arms and sitting back into the chair, a hand remaining in contact with his, I reply nonchalantly,
‘
It was great.
’

    
‘
Just great?  You sure about that?
’
and his eyes remain fixed on mine. 

     The intensity becomes too much for me to bear and I have no choice but to look away.

    
‘
Alex, what happened?
’

     Sighing, I reach into my trouser pocket and pull out the slip of paper that has been burning a hole ever since I placed it there.

    
‘
This was posted through Maggie’s door yesterday.  I haven’t been able to work out the meaning, if it even has one,
’
and I hand it over to him, his eyes immediately scan the words. 
‘
That wasn’t all.  I bumped into Peters…
’

    
‘
You what?
’
his head snaps up, eyes burning.

    
‘
It’s okay, he didn’t hurt me or anything…
’

    
‘
What did he say?
’

    
‘
He warned me to stay away from you, that you were dangerous, idle threats really, nothing to be concerned about.
’

    
‘
When it comes to Peters there’s generally a lot to be concerned about, knowing how to handle the situation is what makes the difference.
’

    
Now what is he on about?  I think I understand him and then he goes and says something like this.  I don’t know whether to be concerned or at ease with what he just said.

    
‘
I also saw a man…
’

    
‘
A man?
’

    
‘
…who looked a lot like my deceased brother.
’

    
‘
That’s not possible.
’

    
‘
You’re telling me!  We buried him…
’

    
‘
No, no, I saw the car hit him.  He went flying over the bonnet and landed in a heap on the road,
’
Gareth frowns, eyes staring off into the distance. 
‘
He didn’t move, wasn’t breathing.  By the time the ambulance came it was too late.  He was dead,
is
dead.  It’s not possible.
’

    
He’s starting to scare me. 
A craze
d
, puzzle
d
look enters his eyes.

     I see the cogs working; he’s replaying things over and over in his mind, but what is he trying to get at?  What’s running through that brain of his?

    
‘
Unless…
’
then he looks in my direction. 
Is that fear I see swimming in those irises?

     And before I can distinguish anything else he clams up and a shield is brought down shutting me out.  The atmosphere switches from ease and friendliness to one of uncomfortable silence and I feel like a stranger.

    
‘
I need to rest now Alex,
’
What?  Why’s he suddenly shutting me out?  What’s going on?
 
‘
Can you leave me alone please?
’