Seduced by Pain (3 page)

Ocean snapped
a picture of the document. "No wonder she can afford Jimmy Choos. When the
coven finds out about this, they're going to be pissed. I think this gives me
added justification for taking at least a pair or two of shoes."

"No."

Outside the
dogs in the yard barked and howled. Somebody was coming.

My heart sped
up as Ocean shoved everything back in the box and put it in the wall's secret
compartment. We made sure everything looked the way it had before we slipped
out of the closet and scurried across the house to the back door. As we closed
the door behind us, Blake arrived.

I froze.

Blake held my
gaze, and I expected to feel the same revulsion I usually did when he stared
too long, but this time a slight tingle of heat filled my belly.

He laid a hand
on my arm. "Rainbow's gotten back early from Seattle. I'll stall her while
you two get out of here."

Ocean grabbed
me and pulled me out through the kennel while Blake met Mother at the car and
talked to her about one of the trees on the property that needed trimming.

We ran all the
way back to our cottage and slammed the door shut behind us.

I closed the
curtains and fell to the couch. "If Mother had found us—"

"—Then
we would have taken evidence of her thievery and lies to the coven and
crucified her. She has no power over us, Rose. She never did. The only power
she has is what you give her."

I shook my
head. "How can you be so calm?"

She stood and
walked to her laptop. "How can you be so scared? What's the worst she can
do to you?"

I thought
about it. "Kick me out."

"Okay, so
why's that so bad?"

"Because
I'd be homeless and broke with no where to go and I'd probably end up living in
a cardboard box eating stale food from trashcans and begging for money on the
sides of freeways."

She started
her computer and connected her phone to the USB port. "You're so
melodramatic. Hand me your phone."

I tossed it to
her.

"Okay, so
you're homeless and broke, but you have me, and you are a talented web
designer. You can make money. We could get a place together. You would
not
end up living in a box eating trash."

I hadn't
thought about life outside of the coven, but now that I did, it didn't seem so
bad. A life-long fear of being kicked out of the coven, left to fend for
myself, shook loose inside me, and I promised myself I'd study it more closely
when I had some time alone. For now, we had to examine the pictures we'd found.

And I needed
to talk to Derek.

I reached for
my phone and checked my messages.

Nothing.

I texted him
again.
"Please call me. I never meant to hurt your family."

He was never
going to talk to me again, but there was someone who might be able to help. I
grabbed my own laptop and got my keys. "You work on that, I've got to run
an errand."

We will meet; and
there we may rehearse most

obscenely and
courageously.

—William
Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

Dear Diary,

Truth and lies dance in my soul like misbegotten lovers whom fate has
kept apart too long. The steely certainty of right and wrong, good and bad, has
bled into a batch of listless gray soup, leaving me colored in doubt. The
people I trusted most have turned against me. My enemies have proven to be
kind. The foundation of my world is splitting apart, and I don't know who to
trust or what to believe.

If our life is a quilt made of the patchwork of memories, then mine
has been shredded, with nothing left to me but lost fragments of what should
have been.

As Poe once wrote, I exist within myself alone. Only I'm not alone; I'm
surrounded by faceless enemies that once looked like family.

THE COLD GRAY
of winter clung to world outside, and
not in the postcard of a winter wonderland kind of way, but in that dreary
Stephen King horror story kind of way. Like at any moment something terrifying
would pop out from behind one of the sad looking trees and eat my soul for
lunch.

Given how I
was feeling, I'm pretty sure they'd spit me back out when the indigestion hit.

I pulled Ocean's
car into a parking spot and stared at the door that had changed the course of
my fate. Had it really been less than a month ago that I'd first walked into
Master Kyoung's martial arts studio and right in to Derek's arms? If felt like
so much longer.

The car
cooled, and a shiver ran up my spine. He likely wouldn't be there. I shouldn't
expect to see him. In fact, I wasn't even there to see him at all.

With these
self-lies spinning in my head, I grabbed my computer and walked in to the warm
studio.

When the bell
on the door dinged, a short Korean man with tight muscles looked up from the
front desk. He smiled and bowed. "Miss Wintersong, it nice to see you. You
well?"

I bowed back. "Good
to see you too, Master Kyoung. I'm okay. I finished your website and came by to
show you. Is this a good time?"

"Yes,
good time. I alone here," he said, answering my unspoken question.

So I really
wouldn't see him today. Just as well.

I pulled out
my laptop and turned it on, then found the files for his website and gave him a
tour. "As I said before, your original site was pro, so basically my
changes were cosmetic. I did add a community area where your students can come
to chat and exchange stories of their training. This way, there's a sense of
connection and involvement. I thought it would help inspire more members to get
involved, but I can take it out if you want."

He shook his
head. "I like. Very smart. Good for people to talk, connect, help each
other. Community important."

Again I felt
his words carried an underlying meaning meant only for me. "I also changed
the color scheme, focusing on power colors, using red as an accent to give the
site more impact."

He put his
hand on mine. "You did good job. But only got few lessons for this. I
train you myself to pay rest. Okay?"

Tears filled
my eyes, and I swiped at them with the back of my hand before they escaped.
Derek had been my trainer, but now he wouldn't even speak to me. "It's
okay, Master Kyoung. I'm sure your time is far too valuable. I enjoyed the work,
and maybe your members will see it and hire me for more? If you know anyone who
needs a new site, I could use the referrals."
Especially if I'll soon be homeless.

"I know
people. I put word out. But first, we train. You need confidence."

I needed Derek
to call me back. I needed to know why Mother had lied to everyone. I needed
this whole nightmare to be over.

But today, I'd
settle for confidence.

His style was
similar to Derek's, but felt very different. Working with Master Kyoung, with
the absence of any physical attraction, should have pulled my mind off of
Derek, but instead, it only served as a painful reminder of what I was missing.

Halfway
through our hour, Master Kyoung stopped and looked at me. "Your head not
in this. You miss your man."

"He's not
my man." My chin fell to my chest in emotional defeat. "But yes, I miss
him. It's my fault all of this happened. My family's fault. I've ruined
everything."

He lifted my
chin with his finger. "Nothing ruined. Caterpillar think life is over in
cocoon, that darkness means death. Not so. Darkness bring new life. And wings.
Caterpillar becomes butterfly and fly away."

While the
metaphor resonated with me, I didn't believe this darkness would lead to
anything beautiful.

"You no
give up hope, young Rose. I know secret things, and I tell you, this darkness
not death."

We went back
to training, and I tried to stay focused, but his words repeated in my mind
with each punch and kick. Could he be right? Was there any hope at all left?

I told Ocean
about the conversation when I got home, and she agreed with Mr. Kyoung. "He's
a wise man, and he knows Derek. If he says there's hope, I believe him. Oh, and
while you were gone, your mother had a fit that you'd left without telling her.
I heard her screaming at your dad to keep an eye on you. Apparently, she's
telling people that you and I are sorting through our own moral code and trying
to decide if this coven is the right fit for us, as if she's graciously
allowing us to stay from the goodness of her forgiving heart. Give me a
freaking break."

Give me a
break, indeed. What was Mother's game?

If there were a sympathy in choice

—William
Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

A GRAY WIND
assaulted the window as I stared out
at the forest behind our house. Could Dean hear the howling of Mother Nature
from wherever his mind had gone?

My younger
brother lay motionless on his bed, tubes attached to him to keep nutrition
flowing in and waste flowing out. His chest rose and fell on its own, his heart
pumping without pause, but the spark of humanity that gave him life had died.
Rose had pulled that out of him and destroyed my family in the process.

Rose.

My phone
buzzed again, and I turned it off, unable to read her words or hear her voice.
It was impossible to imagine that Rose had hurt Dean deliberately and maliciously.
I thought of our time together, those long days and longer nights in the cabin,
where only we two existed, until fire tore our paradise away from us and ended
the life of her dog, who'd saved my life.

That day Rose
had ran into a burning building to save us both. She'd risked her life for me,
and I knew that somehow, none of this coven mess was her fault, but it didn't
change the fact that my brother lay here fighting death because of her.