Seduced By My Doms BN (30 page)

“That’s understandable.” James nodded. “But what makes you
happy? Being with Ryan? With us? Or alone?”

A weak smile curled the corners of my mouth. “I must not be
showing you, or saying how much you both mean to me if you have to ask me
that.”

“Answer the question,” Ian demanded.

“It’s more than happiness with you two,” I confessed. “It’s
like my whole world has righted itself. The grass is greener, the air crisper, even
the birds chirpier. God, I sound like a damn Hallmark card.”

“It is pretty damn remarkable, isn’t it?” James smiled.

“Yes, but I feel horrible for hurting him like that. Ryan
doesn’t like confrontation or conflict. So I know that by the way he behaved,
I’ve crushed him.”

“Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do,”
James cautioned.

“No. I know him.” I shook my head. “After he cools off, I
need explain it’s over between us. Like I wanted to do after he left, but the
jerk wouldn’t answer his damn phone. Now that he’s back, I guess I’ll have to
do that face to face.”

“I agree; you do need to talk to him. But you’re not going
to do it alone. Understood?” James quirked a brow as if daring me to argue.

“He’s not going to hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried
about. We’ll talk. I’ll tell him it’s over and he’ll walk away…this time for
good.”

“Don’t be so sure, Liz,” James cautioned. “We wouldn’t walk
away from you until we’d exhausted every option.”

His pledge warmed my heart. I felt as if he’d reached inside
my chest and held it in the palm of his hand. His unwavering desire to protect
me touched deep. Reaching up, I cupped his handsome face and straightened as I
leaned in and kissed his sensual lips.

“Ryan has no other option,” I assured.

“Maybe. But you’re still not going to meet with him alone.
Are we clear about that, little one?” Ian stressed. The concern suffusing his
words blasted louder than a foghorn.

Savoring James’ kiss a few seconds longer, I eased back and
nodded at Ian. “Yes, Sir. But it’s going to be a very awkward conversation, if
you two are sitting there drilling Ryan with angry stares.”

“No. You’ll set up the meeting on our turf. Someplace
public, like Maurizio’s for instance. We’ll sit at the bar while you talk to
Ryan,” James explained. “Neither Ian nor I will interfere unless things start
to turn ugly.”

It would still be awkward and I knew it. In order to appease
them, I would go along with the plan. Hopefully Ryan wouldn’t balk or refuse to
talk to me under the scrutiny of my
Doms
.

“And another thing, we’re not comfortable leaving you here
alone,” Ian stated.

“I’m fine. Really. I have things to do today.”

“Like what?” James asked.

“Well, I need to find the paperwork and key for the storage
unit I put Ryan’s things in after he left.”

“What if he comes back and we’re not here?” James asked, not
bothering to mask his worry.

“I changed the locks months ago. He can’t get in.”

“How did he get in today?” Ian quizzed.

“I forgot to lock the door when we came running in from the
rain.” I shrugged. “I’ll lock everything up after you both leave. I swear.”

Ian frowned and shook his head.

“Pack up some things and find what you need for Ryan. You’re
coming to stay at my place for a few days,” James instructed. When I opened my
mouth to explain that wasn’t necessary, he pressed a finger to my lips. “Having
you with us will make Ian and me feel a whole lot better.”

While touched by his need to protect, a part of me felt
smothered. All I really wanted was some down time to process everything that
had happened. But the two stubborn men next to me weren’t about to let that
fly.

“I’ll go with you, under one condition.”

“Giving ultimatums are you, girl?” Ian smirked.

“No. I’m negotiating.” I grinned.

“What’s the condition?” he asked dryly.

“I need some time to think. Alone. Like soaking in a nice
long bubble bath. Is that too much to ask?”

“Not at all,” James ceded.

“Okay. Let me pull everything together and pack a bag so I’m
not late for work tomorrow. I’ll meet you two in an hour or so.”

“Sounds like you think our negotiations are over,” Ian
snorted, sarcastically.

“
Hrmm
,” James grunted. “We’ll
wait. Ian can ride in your car while you follow me back to my place.”

His dark eyes still teemed with anger and unease. It chafed
that my inability to deal with Ryan long ago, and throwing the weight of my
excess baggage into our relationship was the cause of James and Ian’s
discontent.

Rising from the bed, I wiggled between James’ thighs.
Cupping his head, I pressed my lips to his and closed my eyes. He wrapped his
arms around my waist, and I felt the tension melt from his flesh. My heart
soared as he stroked my lips with his tongue then moaned as I opened my mouth
to glaze my tongue over his. He was power, control, and command, but in his
kiss I tasted tenderness, passion, and the sweet, delicate traces of love.
There were far too many logical reasons that I shouldn’t have lost my heart so
soon to either man. But reality, like an impenetrable fortress, stood strong
before me; I was in love with them.

The depth of my need for them didn’t scare me, and I
realized there was nothing dirty or obscene about my feelings for them. They
both accepted all of me, unconditionally. It had been years since I had felt
whole. The need to sequester myself and organize the upheaval Ryan had laid at
my feet vanished. I didn’t want to spend another minute isolated and alone. For
the first time in a long time, I wanted to stop existing and grab all the joy,
laughter, sadness, and tears I could possibly hold with these amazing men, and
never let go.

I wanted to live again—something I’d stopped doing after
Dayne
had died. Yes, I’d put one foot in front of the
other, but for all intents and purposes, I’d been a zombie of sorts. No wonder
Ryan accused me of not liking sex. I’d never let him touch me on anything but a
surface level. Never sought his affection, simply his company, so I didn’t have
to face each day alone.

But James and Ian had opened the doors I’d been hiding
behind. Dusted off the fragmented pieces of my heart and mended it back
together. They’d coaxed me from self-imposed prison and into a bright and
beautiful light.

“What has you so deep in thought?” Ian asked as he stood and
moved in behind me.

Enveloped in his warmth, I let out a blissful sigh. “Just
doing a bit of self-evaluation, I suppose.”

“We expect you to share your revelations with us later,
little one,” Ian said as he cupped my breasts.

Rolling the beaded peaks of my nipples between his fingers
and thumbs, Ian pinched the throbbing peaks. James stared into my eyes and
cupped my mound in his palm.

“I’ll be right back,” Ian whispered before releasing my
nipples with a tiny squeeze.

James pulled me in closer, then latched his mouth over the
tingling arc Ian had left behind. Basking in the sinful pleasure of James’
mouth, I didn’t hear Ian return, only felt his body press against my back once
more.
 

“Where did you go?” I asked, my voice husky and low.

“To lock the fucking front door,” he snarled.

Sinking his teeth into the flesh of my neck, Ian swirled his
tongue over his bite, mitigating the sting. They both strived to remove the
remnants of my confrontation with Ryan, and I let them. Lulled beneath their
seductive spell, my worries blew away like leaves in the wind.

Relinquishing my all to their strong, masterful hands and
skillful mouths, the sexual tension soared. Each touch, kiss, and caress roared
through me like a tiger freed from its cage. And when they rocked their thick,
bare erections into my pussy and ass, I tossed back my head and screamed. Flesh-to-flesh,
I didn’t know where I ended and they began, and I didn’t care.

The addicting burn they contrived climbed through me,
eradicating the moral ghosts that had haunted me all my life. James and Ian had
shown me that I possessed the power to break the chains of my past, and I was
determined to sever them for good. Surrendering everything into their capable,
benevolent hands, I soared past the heavens and stars.

I begged through each labored breath and whimper. Finally,
Ian roared the command for me to come. And as James thrust deep inside my
pussy, he fused his lips with mine, swallowing my screams as Ian yelled through
his release and spilled deep inside my ass.

Collapsing onto the bed, we lay spent and sated, as we
worked to even out our ragged breathing. My limbs felt like rubber. I closed my
eyes as their warm bodies blanketed mine and drifted off to sleep.

In my dream, I was floating in a boat at sea, swaying back
and forth as water sprayed over my face. Opening my eyes, I discovered James
had me in his arms, stepping into the shower. Steam swirled around us,
intensifying the misty fog still hovering in my brain.

“I guess I lied to the cougar at breakfast,” I murmured.
“You two put
me
in a coma.”

They both started laughing as a half-drunken smile curled on
my lips. James set me on my feet before he and Ian proceeded to cover every
inch of my flesh with their sudsy, soap-covered hands. I drank in each blissful
caress, moaning in delight as Ian massaged shampoo into my scalp. As far as I
was concerned, this nirvana never needed to end.

But I knew one day the sizzling electricity of our
relationship would sputter and die out to a normal, monotonous routine—they all
did, didn’t they? But until such time, I’d trek down the path with James and
Ian and savor each second, without a single regret.

Feeling revitalized after my pampered shower, I gathered up
my things, and the three of us started toward James’ house. The storm had
passed and the setting sun cast vibrant hues of orange and copper in the sky.

Ian was unusually quiet sitting next to me as I trailed
behind James in his big truck. Instead of trying to guess or worrying that I’d
done something to disappoint him, I reached down and clasped Ian’s hand.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“No, I was just thinking,” he replied with a reassuring
smile.

“About?”

“Ryan.”

“What about him?”

“I’m trying to wrap my head around why a beautiful,
intelligent, independent woman like yourself hooked up with him in the first
place?”

So Ian had been ruminating about my psyche, not his own. “It
sounds cowardly, but I needed someone to prop me up, to help me through a
really dark time in my life. My brother committed—”

“James told me about
Dayne
,” Ian
interrupted. “Surely you worked through the stages of grief long ago, though,
didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. I think I went through the motions, but never
truly accepted the fact that I wasn’t there to…” My voice cracked. Guilt
weighed like an anvil.

“To save him?” Ian asked.

“Yes.”

“You honestly think you could have saved him, don’t you?”

“I know I could have.”

“No. You may have managed to postpone the inevitable, but
you couldn’t have saved him, not ultimately. People make their own choices,
regardless of what we think is best for them.”

“I don’t agree with you. I know I could have convinced
Dayne
that checking out wasn’t an option.”

“How? Guilt him into living a life he no longer wanted to?”

Ian’s words landed like a slap to the face. Shrinking back,
I took my hand off his and placed it back on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry. That was harsh.” Ian’s tone was suffused with
apology. “What I’m trying to say is that, right or wrong, fair or un-rational,
it was
his
choice. You weren’t responsible for his actions.”

“Yes, I was,” I barked. “I was his caretaker before he even
graduated high school. He was my brother, he relied on me, and I failed him.”
Guilt made my throat constrict and my words sound thick. “Let’s talk about
something else, can we? Something pleasant.”

“Evading the topic isn’t going to make it go away.”

“Discussing it won’t change the facts either.” I gripped the
steering wheel tightly.

“So you stayed with Ryan because...?”

“Just because.” My reply was curt. Final. The discussion was
over.

Irritation darted across Ian’s eyes, then vanished. He fell
silent, which chafed even more. I suspected he was plotting some unpleasant
punishment. Fine. Bring it. I could take anything he wanted to dish out, but I
wasn’t going to let him continue to pluck at the raw nerves still pulsing
inside me.

“Communication is non-negotiable. That applies to all
subjects, Liz. Even the ones you don’t like to reexamine,” Ian murmured as he
drew his finger down my cheek.

“I know that. I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I don’t mean to
shut you out—”

“Then don’t,” Ian replied softly. “For this relationship to
work, there has to be total honesty among us, about everything. Not just the
easy stuff, but the hurtful and hard topics as well. Full disclosure…total
honestly. There’s no foundation to build on without it. If you’re not willing
to give that, we three need to cut our losses. Move on before we invest any
more time, energy, or emotion.”

His words stabbed my heart like a knife, twisting with an
agony that stole my breath. Could he and James simply turn and walk away? Go on
as if I never existed…never mattered? Ian was so simple, yet so complicated. He
could be could be brutally honest, and intimidatingly direct—like now—or
lighthearted, sarcastic, and funny. Unfortunately, the latter Ian was no longer
sitting next to me. I was forced to deal with the big, bad, Alpha Dom side of
him now. James wielded his Dominance with a softer hand, while Ian ruled his
command like a Czar. It made me want to kick and scream, stick my tongue out at
him and stomp my feet, like a petulant child.