Secrets of Valhalla (11 page)

A
s soon as the words were uttered, Buzz felt himself compress and his eardrums pop. He looked over at Mary and watched in amazement as she was sucked into the heart of her star before realizing that the same thing was happening to him. White light flooded over him, cocooning him, and he shot upward toward a small aperture that was carved into the high ceiling.

Just before the light got too bright, he gazed down and saw Saturn open the door. A figure of smoke and burning embers stood at the entrance, grinning with a flaming mouth.

Buzz and Mary flew through the hole in the ceiling, through a funnel-like opening, and then they were outside. Still they traveled up, until they could see the very edge of space. All that separated them from the inkiness of the universe was a
swathe of cloud, and it was here that their stars stopped.

Buzz felt himself start to expand, but the star stayed the same size, and like a chick hatching from an egg, he burst out of it. He was standing on a rainbow path where row upon row of tall black units balanced on clouds, each one winking with blue lights. Large birds darted in between the units, flapping their huge wings and creating a cool breeze.

“What are those black things?” Buzz asked, turning to Mary, who had shaken off the remnants of her star. “And what are those birds doing?”

“They look like data storage towers,” Mary said. “You know, the kind of units that hold everyone's uploaded photos and music.” She watched the flapping wings for a moment. “And I think those birds are trying to keep the units cool.”

The birds began to caw excitedly as one of the data storage units shifted from a cloud and onto the rainbow path. Then, on mechanical feet, it clunked over to them.

With a hiss, the top of the data storage unit opened, and the face of a man was beamed up into the sky. The man was tan, clean shaven, and wore an open-collared shirt, with expertly styled hair that was the right side of floppy.

“Welcome to the Cloud,” he said in a smooth, laid-back voice. “Where anything that can be stored is stored.”

“This is the cloud,” Mary said, gazing about in wonder. “As in
the
Cloud! Holey pajamas. I just thought it was a concept rather than a real location.” She reached out and touched one of the data towers. “We're actually in the place where all our
electronic memories, all our data, are kept.”

The face flashed perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth. “I am Jupiter. My dominion is the sky,” he said. “If mortals were going to start worshiping something called the Cloud, then you'd better believe that I wasn't going to let an opportunity like that pass. All it required was a bit of retraining.” He glanced at the discarded stars on the ground. “What can I do for you? I can tell by your mode of transport that you've been sent by my father.”

“We're looking for the Runes of Valhalla,” Buzz said. “Your father said that you have Sunna's and Mani's.”

“Ah, yes, the runes of the sun and the moon,” Jupiter said. “I have kept the runes safe for a very long time. Am I to assume that Loki is free?”

“He is, and the only way we're going to stop him is by gathering up runes and returning them to their owners.”

A frown marred Jupiter's perfectly smooth forehead. “It may not be quite as easy as that, I'm afraid.”

Buzz scrubbed a hand over his face.
Was it ever easy?
“Why? What's the problem?”

“A virus, called EarthWorm.” Jupiter looked miserable. “Not only has it got the runes, it keeps on slithering through the Cloud and eating all my data and files, too. If this continues, people are going to stop believing in the Cloud, and I'll be out of a job again. A sad, old, forgotten god, just like the others.”

“But why does EarthWorm have the runes?” Buzz asked.
“You said you've been keeping them safe.”

Jupiter looked embarrassed. “Do I have to say?”

“Well, since the runes are the only things that are going to stop Loki from destroying our realm and therefore all the people who worship you, I think so,” Mary replied.

“EarthWorm has the runes because it has me,” Jupiter muttered. “It swallowed me whole, and the runes were in my pocket.”

“Oh, that's just great!” Mary threw up her hands in disbelief.

“But if you've been swallowed whole, how are we talking to you?” Buzz asked. “Are we talking to your hologram?”

Jupiter shook his head. “I backed myself up onto one of the servers, luckily. Thing is, EarthWorm keeps on coming and eating up more and more of my data. It loves chaos and is feeding off the anarchy caused by its actions. That's what sustains it. It doesn't even properly digest the information it eats. It just sits there in its gut along with me.”

“So, it's simple,” Buzz said. “If we want the runes, we're going to have to destroy EarthWorm and free you.”

“That's about the sum of it,” Jupiter said. “But don't underestimate EarthWorm by thinking you'll easily defeat it in battle. I did that, and look what happened to me. You need to be smart.” Jupiter gave a high whistle, and one of the birds that had been flapping at a data tower hopped over to him. “Guide these two to the junk cloud, please. They don't fly, so stick to the superhighway,” he instructed.

The bird bobbed his head and spread his wings, then soared upward on a jet of air, hovering just above them.

“Hey, we haven't actually agreed to this little quest, you know,” Buzz protested.

Jupiter flashed a smile. “What other choice do you have? Are you going to stick around here talking to a huge head for the rest of your life?” Jupiter winked. “Thing is, I need to be released if you want me to download you to your next destination. And you really do need those runes.”

There was no arguing with that.

Buzz and Mary took off after the bird, sliding along the rainbow path past the rows and rows of servers, as it flew above their heads.

In the distance, they could see a collection of defunct objects spinning in their own orbits—ancient satellites, rocket motors, and flecks of paint that danced like confetti in the wind. The coiled length of an enormous worm rested on an abandoned rocket platform. Its skin was thin and translucent, and beneath it Buzz could see strings of binary code and pulses of electricity.

As Buzz and Mary approached, the worm began to uncoil itself, foot after foot of rippling translucence, and Buzz caught a glimpse of a body in a linen suit lying very still within its belly.
Jupiter.
The god wasn't lying.

The bird above them gave a caw of farewell and wheeled in the sky before beating a hasty retreat back to its companions.

“What exactly is the plan here?” Buzz whispered out of the side of his mouth.

“Haven't a clue,” Mary responded.

“But you're supposed to be Sherlock!”

“It's true, normally by this point I'd have a brilliant idea,” Mary said. “But I'm drawing a blank on how to destroy a virus worm who just so happens to have swallowed a Roman god.”

“Not just any virus worm.” Buzz felt the need to clarify. “A chaos-loving virus worm.” He peered at the creature more closely. “Who looks like one of those weird balloon animals that bad clowns make.”

The EarthWorm was directly in front of them now and reared up, its head weaving from side to side like a snake.

“Maybe we just talk to it,” Mary said, craning her neck to look up at the worm. “I mean, Jupiter tried to fight it and that didn't work, so maybe diplomacy is a better option.”

“It's worth a shot.”

Buzz and Mary both stood there. Neither saying a word. Neither moving a step closer to the giant worm.

“Well, go on, then,” Mary said. “Say hello to it.”

“Why me?”

“People don't tend to like me, Buzz.” Mary spread her arms wide. “I rub them the wrong way. Surely the fact that I had to invent a watch that identifies and destroys water balloons was a clue?”

“Well, Theo Eddows really dislikes me,” Buzz protested, knowing already that he was going to lose this argument. “He
put my phone down the toilet. You were there when that all came out!”

“That's one person.” Mary snorted derisively. “Pretty much my whole school disliked me. Will you just say hello to the worm?”

“Fine.” Buzz stepped forward and held up a hand. “Greetings, EarthWorm. We come in peace.”
Man, I sound like a bad
Star Trek
episode.

A whirring sound and a series of clicks seemed to come from the worm. “You looking at me, kid?” the worm said after a moment. Its voice was high and thin like the feedback you get on speakers, and then it giggled and the sound was the chugging of a laptop booting up. “You're not in Kansas anymore.”

Mary and Buzz looked at each other.

“Why is this thing talking in film quotes?” Buzz whispered.

“I literally have no idea,” Mary responded.

“‘Come a little closer,' said the spider to the fly,” the EarthWorm said. “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

And now quotes from nursery rhymes and the moon landing,
Buzz thought. It had to mean something, but he wasn't sure what.

Buzz took a step closer.
“As I said, we've come in peace.”

His gaze flicked to where he could see Jupiter through the worm's skin. He pointed to the outline of the god in the
worm's belly.
“You and Jupiter have not gotten off to the best start, but we'd like to change that.” Buzz flashed a smile. “So if you could just regurgitate him or whatever it is that you do, then perhaps we could all sit down and talk.”

“Jupiter mine. My precious.” The worm giggled again. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.” The worm's massive head then hurtled down and Buzz only just managed to leap out of the way.

“Hey!” Mary said. “That's not fair. We were trying to be nice.”

“Nice guys finish last,” the worm replied, and its head swung toward Mary and smashed down again.

But Mary was quicker and had anticipated the move. She was already clambering up onto a pile of space rubble that spun in the air.

The worm gazed down at her for a scary moment and then lurched forward, its head barging into the base of the rubble, scattering it through the cloudy sky.

Mary flew through the air, hitting the rainbow bridge hard. She slipped along the superhighway like a puck on ice, her hands scrabbling for purchase. She only just managed to grab the edge of the bridge as she went careering over it.

“Mary!” Buzz got to his feet and staggered toward her. “Hang on.”

The Darth Vader voice of her watch was her only response. “You are approximately infinity miles from Tangley Woods.”

The worm made a noise that could only be described as a
coo of delight and stopped in its tracks.

“I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan,”
the EarthWorm said.
“We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”

The worm's eyes flickered more quickly and the whirring noise within it seemed to be increasing.

“Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father?”

“He told me enough! He told me you killed him!”

“No . . . I
am
your father!”

The worm giggled again, and Buzz could see something that looked very much like joy on its strange face.

EarthWorm likes film,
he realized.
All that data it consumed must have contained loads of films, and EarthWorm loved them.

The worm was gliding toward Mary, who had pulled herself back onto the bridge. Its strange eyes were looking at the watch on her wrist as the gadget kept on calling out the coordinates to Tangley Woods in its Darth Vader voice.

Mary was trapped on the edge of the bridge, and Buzz knew that there was only one thing he could do to save her.

“Throw me the watch,” he yelled.

Mary's mouth dropped open. “I'm about to get consumed by a worm at worst or pushed off the bridge at best and you want my watch.” She looked furious.

“Just trust me,” Buzz begged. “You do trust me, don't you?”

Mary hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “Of course I do, Buzz.” She hurled the watch over to him.

Buzz grabbed it and strapped it to his wrist. Darth Vader
greeted him in much the same way he greeted everyone else: with directions.

“Hey,” Buzz called. “Fancy this bit of data? Come and get it.”

EarthWorm whipped around and shot out toward him.

“Buzz, what are you doing?” Mary cried, leaving the edge of the superhighway and chasing after the worm.

“Stay where you are!” Buzz called back. But Mary did not listen and continued to run toward him and the worm.

Buzz held his breath as the worm reared up over him, its strange black pupils flickering like the cursor on a computer screen, and then it swooped down and swallowed him whole.

B
uzz expected everything to be dark and sticky and gloopy inside, but the reverse was true. It was like he was in a huge balloon filled with air that was heavy with static—like the sky before a storm. He could smell electricity. Strings of glowing code swept around him and through him. He was weightless, and he whooshed through the worm's body, loving the rushing sensation of freedom and the data that rained down on him. Welcoming the facts, files, and documents that exploded behind his eyes.

For moment, he almost forgot that he had a plan—his mind felt so full of the worm and all that it knew. When he remembered, he felt regret that he would have to leave this feeling behind.

But there is no other way.
How could he enjoy his
submersion into this amazing world of data if his own world were destroyed? EarthWorm was a virus, and Buzz was the antiviral software.

His hand went to the buttons on the side of the watch. He'd seen which one Mary had pressed before to scan the mountainside for an entrance in Saturn's realm. Now it was time to press the other one.

His finger rested on the button that Mary had designed to burst water balloons. The button that was going to burst EarthWorm. She hadn't tested it. But it would work.
It had to work.

He felt something bang into his side, and he saw Jupiter floating in the light and air, his eyes closed and his breathing shallow.

It was time.
He pressed the button, and a red light beamed out from the watch and hit the translucent side of the worm's body.

BOOM!

The worm was gone, and Buzz was lying on the rainbow bridge, watching bits of code drift off into the ether.

“Buzz?” Mary knelt down beside him. “Are you okay?”

Buzz sat up. He felt better than okay. He felt amazing. Extraordinary, even. Something had changed in him. But he wasn't quite ready to tell Mary that yet. Not until he understood properly what had happened. “I'm fine,” he said. “How are you?”

“Much better now that I know you're alive.” She tilted her
head to one side. “How'd you do it, then, Sherlock? How'd you explode the worm?”

Buzz unstrapped her watch from his wrist and handed it back to her. “Your water balloon exploder function.”

Mary grinned. “It works!” The smile slipped off her face. “Hey, that was pretty stupid, Buzz. I told you I hadn't tested it.”

“Yeah, but I knew that it'd do the trick.”

“How?”

“Because I know you.”

“You trusted my invention,” she whispered. “You trusted me. That's never happened before.” She held out a hand and pulled him to his feet. “Listen, Buzz, I need to tell you what I saw in the time tun—”

A low groan to their left interrupted her. Jupiter lay on the ground, his eyes still closed. They swiftly knelt by his side, and Mary gently touched the god's shoulder.

Jupiter's eyes snapped open. He sat bolt upright.

“Wow, what a trip!” he exclaimed. He looked up at them and jumped to his feet.

He slapped a hand on Buzz's shoulder. “You are the Homo sapiens who freed me. Why would you do that?”

Buzz and Mary exchanged a glance.

“We came for the runes,” Mary said.

There was not a flicker of remembrance on the god's face.

“You have no idea who we are, do you?” Buzz questioned.

“I have spent several days in the belly of a data-eating worm. I'm going to have an idea about almost everything now.”

“What do you mean?” Mary asked.

“Young lady, do you know what happened to Odin when he spent seven days and seven nights as a captive of the World Tree?” Jupiter asked.

“Yes. He was given all the knowledge in the world.” The answer flew from Buzz's mouth.

Mary frowned at him. “How'd you know that?”

He shrugged. “Must have heard the Prof say it at some point.”

Jupiter smiled at him with knowing eyes. “Hanging on that tree was the hardest thing Odin had ever done. By doing it, he was given the secrets of the universe and immense power. But that knowledge came at a price. Odin became distrustful. His infinite knowledge told him that no one could ever be truly trusted. That we all have secrets.” Jupiter took two stones out of his pocket. They both had symbols carved into them. “Being inside that worm for all that time flooded me with knowledge. I know now what Odin felt.”

He held out a closed palm to Buzz and Mary. “These are for you.” He opened his palm to reveal the runes. “I give you these willingly as a thank-you for saving my life.”

Mary and Buzz both reached for the runes at the same time, their hands bumping in their eagerness.

“Sorry.” Buzz smiled at his friend. “You have one and I'll have the other.”

Mary nodded, her eyes wide as she took Mani's rune, which had a diamond symbol carved into it.

Buzz took Sunna's rune and tested the weight of it in his hand. It was surprisingly heavy for such a small pebble, and it felt perfectly smooth except for the grooves of Sunna's lightning bolt insignia.

“Thanks for this,” Buzz said, looking up at Jupiter. “Now we need the next two. They are with your brother Neptune.”

“Say no more,” Jupiter said. “I'll download you safely to his location.” He inclined his head. “Give Neptune my regards.”

The god of the sky then clicked his fingers, and Buzz felt himself disintegrate into the air. His thoughts exploded like fireworks as his brain rapidly processed what was happening. He had been dematerialized and turned into a wave of energy. He could feel himself flowing downward, and as he rippled through the air he heard Jupiter's voice.

“The EarthWorm has given us both a gift.” The god's words sparked like electricity behind Buzz's eyes. “Don't ignore what you are capable of, don't ignore what others are capable of.”

“I don't understand,” Buzz said. “What am I capable of?”

“So much. Let me help you see,” Jupiter replied. “Remember: People are not always as they seem. History tells us that.”

With a crunch of molecules, Buzz felt himself materialize and become whole once more. Mary was there as well, right next to him. They were falling through the clouds, wind whistling past their ears. He looked down to see an immense stretch of blueness below them.

“Buzz, why are we falling through the sky?” Mary sounded
scared. “I thought we were being downloaded to Neptune's kingdom.”

Buzz realized that Mary had not been privy to Jupiter's voice-over. “I think he is trying to test me,” he tried to explain. “He said something about showing me what I'm capable of.”

“What do you mean, capable of?” Mary snapped. “We're capable of dying if we hit the sea from this height. We'll break every bone in our bodies.”

Not if you break the surface tension of the water first.
The thought popped into his head from a reservoir of knowledge that he never knew he had.
If you break it, you might be able to pass right through.
His hand tightened around the rune that was still in his grip.

“Buzz!” He realized that Mary was screaming his name. “Buzz, why is Jupiter testing you?”

Because he wanted me to see that my mind works differently now after the worm,
Buzz thought. “It doesn't matter now,” he shouted back. “I have an idea.” The sea was rushing to embrace them. “Before you hit the water, I want you to throw your rune downward. It will punch a hole through the surface. You just need to follow it through.”

“It will never work,” Mary said. “Will it?”

The ocean was incredibly close now, a blue mirror that was as beautiful as it was deadly.

“Trust me,” Buzz said.

“I do,” Mary said. “I really do.”

Buzz nodded. “Then stay as upright as you can, cross your
legs, point your toes, and throw the rune—NOW.”

They hurled their runes in unison, and Buzz swiftly crossed his arms and anything else he could think of. The runes pierced the water like arrows and Buzz and Mary entered the sea straight behind them. Buzz squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, waiting to hear the cracking of bones. But he didn't.
It worked.

Buzz hurtled through the water like a torpedo. He waited for the downward momentum to slow so he could kick upward, take a breath, but it didn't happen. It was as if he was caught in the jaws of the sea creature that was pulling him in one direction only. Down.