Secrets of the Tudor Court (2 page)

"Yes," I say with profound sadness. "Now I see."

"You will be careful at this court of Henry, the Eighth of That Name." I nod at the gravity of this formal order. "You must know that when you are there you will not see His Grace your father very much at all, and I will be busy attending Her Majesty. Be quiet. Watch and learn. Never tattle on anyone else, no matter how tempted you are by the promises of others. Be still. Keep your own counsel. Self-preservation, Mary, is of the utmost importance at this court."

"Yes, Mother." My throat contracts with tears. I want her to enfold me in her arms the way Bess does when I am sad or frightened. But I am angry at Bess and remind myself to admire my mother's cool sense of control rather than long for the embrace of that vile betrayer.

Mother nods to me. I nod back. We part company.

This is how true ladies conduct their business.

I am leaving. Bess catches me before I descend to the great hall.

Sensing my coldness, her soft eyes make their appeal. She clings to my hands as if she does not know of her transgression. I snatch them from hers and scowl. Her face registers her sorrow as she seizes my wrists.

"My lady." Her voice is almost a whimper, stirring my heart. "Your father is a powerful man. We can only all of us do his bidding. My family...they depend on His Grace." Tears stream down her cheeks with abandon. "I...I have no choice, my lady."

I blink several times to keep fresh tears at bay. "Such topics are not suitable for my ears," I say, thinking myself to be quite dignified, but feeling a fraud. I disengage myself and turn around to go meet my parents.

"Mary!" Bess cries.

The unchecked agony of her voice causes me to stop.

"I love you like my own," she says, her milky voice edged with desperation.

I burst into tears and run to her, flinging myself into her arms. "Oh, Bess, dearest Bess," I sob. I forget the coolness of my mother and the wantonness of Bess's actions. All I know is I am in the arms of the one person I have trusted to love me without reserve--my Bess. I cannot fault her for anything now, nor can I blame my father for loving her. My sense of right and wrong has been thwarted. I do not know what game I have been thrust into. I have yet to ascertain the character of the players.

I only know that I am one of them. My mother's words ring in my ears.
Self-preservation, Mary...

With effort I extract myself from Bess's embrace and know that as I leave her I am leaving all vestiges of childhood behind me.

I
ride away with my father's armed retinue, watching my childhood home become a small black speck on the horizon. Mother rides in a covered litter with the curtains drawn. I asked to sit beside her but was refused, as she prefers her privacy.

"Soon you will not see it at all," Norfolk says in reference to Kenninghall as he sidles up beside me. He looks formidable on his black charger, though in lieu of armor he wears the fine furs and velvets of a much-favored courtier. The heavy cloak envelops his slight personage and he appears more solid. He holds the reigns with one slim-fingered hand while the other rests on the hilt of his sword.

"Stop looking back," he tells me. "Howards do not ever look back; we press onward. No matter the circumstances. Onward." He gestures for me to look ahead and I do, taking in the fields that surround us; they are barren and gray. Winter is pondering its arrival. It teases us with a scattering of snowflakes now and then. I shiver. I wish we were traveling in the spring when the landscape has more to offer.

So far what is ahead looks bleak. I am at once clutched in anxiety's sadistic fist. What if I do not fit in at court? What if no one likes me? Kenninghall may not have been an exciting place, but along with Tendring and Hunsdon--my other childhood homes--it was familiar. I had my lessons. I played with my brother and Bess. Now I am plunging into a life alien to me. My father is foreign to me. I have only seen him a handful of times. I want to impress him; I want him to be proud of me. Yet he frightens me. His brutality toward Mother, his tenderness toward Bess...I cover my mouth to stifle a sob.

"Are you ill, Mary?" Norfolk asks.

"No, my lord," I say quickly. I avert my head. I do not want him to see my tears.

"You have not been made accustomed to long rides," he comments. "You must be tired. Come." In one effortless movement he leans down and scoops me right off my saddle, setting me in front of him. I stiffen, unsure of how to conduct myself. He is my father, but he is also the intimidating soldier-duke. He is the man who beat my mother and made love to my maid in the same afternoon. But he is also the man we are taught to worship and long for.

I lean back, giving in to the need to rest against something. His chest is warm; I feel his beating heart against my back. I look down at his hand, a hand of such perfection it could have been the model for a statue, with its strong tapering fingers and subtle blue veins snaking like rivers beneath his tanned skin. It is the hand of a scholar and soldier. The thought sobers me. This hand is capable of much cruelty.

Now it rests about my waist, quite nonthreatening. In a moment forged out of the desperate need for reassurance, I reach out and take it in my own.

"I am so glad to be with you, Father," I tell him, and in that moment I am filled with the utmost sincerity.

He pauses. "I have been shown your embroidery. Quite fine," he says. "And I am told you have a nice ear for the virginals and dance prettily. At court you shall learn all the new dances. It is vital that you study all the womanly arts, Mary. It is also important to keep up with your education. It pleases me to learn that you are a good reader and know your letters."

"In English and Latin, sir," I brag, trying to mask my hurt that he has not yet told me he is glad to be in my company. Perhaps, because he is first a soldier, he does not know how to return a compliment.

"The most important thing to remember, Mary, is to keep your cousin Anne happy. Serve her, please her, whatever she wants. She is favored by the king and our family's hopes lie with her," he goes on to advise. "But as high as Anne is raised, never forget who the head of this family is. Never forget who your first allegiance is with; that it is your goodly and Christian duty to obey your father always. Swear to me, Mary. Swear to me your obedience and fidelity in all things."

"I swear," I say, unnerved by the intensity of his tone.

"Good," he says. "Very good."

He squeezes my hand.

I shall be everything he wants, I think to myself. I shall work very hard so that someday he will look at me and say
Mary, I am so glad to be with you.

H
ow is it I, little Mary Howard, can be so fortunate as to enter this fairest of cities? My heart is swollen with joy as I behold all the sights and smells of this magical place. It is so very
big!
Tears sting my eyes as I behold beggars on the street, but my eyes are filled with as much excitement as compassion when they are drawn to the fine ladies and gentlemen that stroll the market, many of whom I have been assured are mere servants from the palace. If the servants are garbed in such finery, then how must it be for the true set!

Most of the streets are dirt but some are cobbled, and I love the sound of our horses' hooves as they strike against them. I ride my own pony now, sitting straight and proud. Some of the fishwives and other ladies of the market shout blessings out to me and I imagine that this is how the Princess Mary must feel when she travels about in the open.

I firmly believe that God chose England as the spot to place His most beautiful river, the Thames. In its shimmering waters float barges and little rowboats. I squirm in delight, longing to be a part of it. Ahead I can see London Bridge and the approaching Tower, where all the fair kings and queens stay upon their coronations.

"It's not all a tale from faeries' lips," one of Norfolk's pages tells me. He is young; not much older than my brother Henry. I estimate him to be about fourteen. "See that river? Every day they pull hundreds of bodies out of it. And the pretty Tower? Below it are some of the most gruesome dungeons ever constructed. They torture people on the rack and--"

"Enough!" I cry, urging my pony forward. I refuse to think of anything unpleasant as I make my debut into London.

But somehow the day is a little less sunny, the river a little less sparkly.

And the Tower is a lot darker.

Westminster is a bustling palace! There are people everywhere. Up and down the halls rush servants and heads of state, foreign dignitaries, and courtiers more beautiful in person than I could ever have imagined. As we walk down the halls, I note that my father is greeted with a mixture of aloofness and what I would call sugared kindness. He greets them all the same; with no expression and a grunt of acknowledgment.

I have to refrain from skipping. Norfolk walks with a brusque, determined step and I am all but running to keep up as it is. My face aches from smiling as I take in all the beauty around me.

"Don't be a fool, Mary," Norfolk says
sotto voce
when he catches my expression of bewildered joy. "You haven't just stepped out of a stable. Behave as though you're accustomed to some level of refinement."

I sober immediately, swallowing tears. He is right, I remind myself. I must do the family proud. It would not do my father much credit to appear ignorant before the court.

As we walk we encounter an older woman accompanied by a small entourage of ladies. She wears a somber blue gown and a long mantilla over her graying auburn hair. Her blue eyes are soft and distant. She clutches a rosary in her thin hand and every step she takes seems laden with weariness.

My father sweeps into a low, graceful bow. "Your Grace," he says in a gentle voice.

I sink into a deep curtsy before Queen Catherine of Aragon.

"Returned from your business?" the queen asks. Her voice is low and sweet--motherly. I imagine it would be very nice to sit at her feet while she reads.

"Yes," Norfolk answers. His face is wrought with tenderness. His hand twitches at his side. He wants to reach out to her, I deduce.

"Who is this little creature?" she asks, and a wistful smile plays upon her thin lips.

She lifts my chin with two velvet fingertips. I manage to lower my eyes in respect.

"May I present my daughter, Mary," Norfolk answers.

"Ah, so you have brought another Howard girl to court," she tells my father. She removes her hand from my chin. "To ensure we do not run out?"

Norfolk does not answer.

The queen emits a small, mirthless laugh. "I must attend Mass now. Do you and your little girl wish to accompany me, my lord duke?" She does not wait for him to respond. "No, I suppose not. Attending Mass with the queen has grown quite out of fashion of late, I think."

She moves on and my mother joins her small assemblage of ladies. Norfolk bows, holding the position until she has long since passed.

When he rights himself his eyes are shimmering with unshed tears.

I avert my head, realizing with a pang that while my father is avowed to Mother and enthralled with Bess, it is Queen Catherine of Aragon he respects.

It is an esteem I, too, hope to earn.

S
he is surrounded by adoring courtiers. The ladies flutter about in their bright dresses like so many butterflies, squawking like chicks in a pen. Her apartments are grand and alive with music and poetry. So much is going on that I do not know where to look.

And then my eyes behold her.

She is not beautiful, not to those who define such as light and golden. She is breathtaking. Dark, with skin like a gypsy, her obsidian eyes are luminous and lively, her lush black hair long and glossy, worn parted down the middle and flowing down her back beneath her stunning French hood. She wears a dress of fine green velvet with the most resplendent sleeves I've ever seen. Resting at the base of her swanlike throat is a pendant of an intricate
B
for Boleyn.

She is tilting back her stunning head now, laughing at something one of her many male courtiers said when we walked in. She turns white at the sight of my father, her laughter catching in her throat.

"I decided to bring your cousin Mary back with me," he says. "She will serve you." He glances about the room and shakes his head. "I will have speech with you later."

With that he quits the room and I am alone, with no instruction. I have no idea when I will see him again, where I am to sleep, who is to look after me. I draw in a deep breath. I must press onward. I am a Howard.

I urge myself toward my cousin and curtsy. "It will be my pleasure to serve you, Mistress Anne," I say.

Anne laughs. She reaches out a hand and seizes my chin. Her touch is not as gentle as the queen's.

"You have a big nose like your father," she says in a slightly French-accented voice.

At once tears fill my eyes. This is the last thing I expect to hear. On instinct my hand flies up to cover the offensive appendage, though all my life I have been unaware of its effect. It is all I can do to keep from sobbing out loud. I blink. I must think. I must win her favor.

I lower my hand and smile. "Were it only like yours, my lady," I say. "Perhaps you can show me how to make the best of this unfortunate circumstance?"

Anne ponders me a moment, then bursts into laughter. There is something about it, an edge that makes it less joy-filled than nervous.
Immoderate.

"You shall sleep with the other maidens," she says, putting to rest one of my anxieties. "You'll find yourself in good company. Our cousin Madge Shelton is with us, and here is my sister, Mary Carey."

She gestures to a curvaceous blonde who reminds me of my Bess. I smile at her. I remember that Bess told me she had once been the king's mistress. Through servants' gossip I heard that her two children are his bastards. She is very beautiful; soft and round to her sister's willowy delicacy. It is easy, however, to see how one could be attracted to both of them.

Mary Carey approaches me and takes my hand. "We'll take good care of you here," she assures me, and my stomach settles a bit upon hearing the soothing sincerity of her tone.

"But we must figure out a way to differentiate between all the Marys," Anne comments. "Is it the only name in England?" She rises, flinging her grand hair over her shoulder. "My sister shall be big Mary and you shall be little Mary."

"What about Princess Mary?" I ask.

Anne's face darkens and I curse myself for mentioning the princess's name. I have so much to learn about this court and I just cannot take it in fast enough!

Anne bats her eyes and adopts a playful expression. "Ugly Mary."

The room erupts into titters of girlish laughter and I stifle the guilt that churns in my gut as I imagine Princess Mary, rumored to be plain and studious, alone and unloved in her own father's court.

But I am sworn to the Howards. I am sworn to the preserving of Anne's happiness. It is not for me to fret over the princess.

Yet late that night, after I am settled into bed with my cousin Madge, I find myself mumbling a prayer for her.

No one should ever be without a friend in the world.

It does not take long to realize that there exist two courts here. One small faction remains faithful to Queen Catherine and the other--the younger, more flighty set--flocks to my lady Anne, the star ascendant. I am caught up in all the excitement. There is nothing but merriment when around Anne. We recite poetry and sing, her favorite musician, Mark Smeaton, accompanying us on his lute, playing with slim deft fingers. We playact together, rehearsing masques we will perform for the king.

The king! What a dazzling figure! He is so big and charming one cannot help but be rendered speechless in his majestic presence. One afternoon while we are readying ourselves for a picnic in the gardens, he struts into Anne's apartments with the confidence and beauty of a peacock, decked out in his finest velvet and ermine.

As he enters I am brushing my lady's hair, as she prefers my hand to her sister's when they are in disagreement, which is often.

"And how now, Brownie?" he asks her.

She laughs at the endearment and shoos me away. I manage to put the brush down but am too awed by His Grace to move, so stand transfixed.

"Who's this little beauty?" he asks, directing his gaze at me.

"Surely Your Grace met my cousin Mary, Uncle Thomas's daughter." Anne's voice is flat.

"No, we would remember encountering such a fair child," he says, stroking his tawny beard.

While it is true I have seen the king from afar at meals and entertainments since coming to court, and even bear some vague childhood memories of him, I have never been formally introduced.

He reaches out and places a bejeweled hand on my head. "Bless you, little one," he says. "How do you find our court?"

"It is the most splendid place in all the world, Sire," I say, breathless.

He laughs, a robust sound as mighty as he is. "You see? From the mouths of babes! May you always find happiness here, young Mary."

I am delighted by the encounter. He is so strong and cheerful I allow myself to imagine being held against his doublet, snuggled up safe and warm in my sovereign's arms. I wonder if his relationship with Princess Mary is affectionate.

His relationship with Anne certainly is. Now he is kissing her hand, turning it palm up to devour her little wrist. She pulls back. It is her bad hand, the one with the nub of a sixth finger on it, a very subtle deformity she hides well.

It withdraws into her voluminous sleeve. She distracts him from the gesture by fluttering her thick dark lashes at him. "And to what do we owe the honor of this impromptu visit, Your Majesty?"

"We would like to present you with a gift," he says, his crisp blue eyes sparkling. He turns his attention to the mass of courtiers eavesdropping. "Ladies and gentlemen, why don't you prepare for the gardens? We will join you shortly."

We have no choice but to do as we are told.

Madge Shelton is now my best friend at court. She is not altogether attractive, but is spirited and full of a vibrancy that creates an aura of beauty that deceives the untrained eye. She and I stand in our maidens' chamber gossiping over His Majesty's "gift."

"No diamonds or rubies for Anne," Madge says, laughing. "But Wolsey's own Hampton Court!"

I bow my head a moment. "I can't help but feel sorry for the Cardinal..."

"Shhh!" Madge puts her finger to my lips. "Don't say such things. We aren't permitted opinions. He failed in granting an annulment and proving the invalidity of the king's marriage, so suffered the price--confiscated lands and a confiscated title. He's the archbishop of York now, remember?"

"But he was so close with the king," I continue in genuine puzzlement. "It's frightening to think one he loved like a brother can be thrown down so fast. And so far."

"This is strange to you?" Madge's tone is incredulous. She is a true Howard, I think. There is a hardness in her voice that echoes of my father. "Haven't you observed how he treats his once-beloved wife? How many tales have we grown up listening to, of the king's love-madness for Queen Catherine--that once, before his affairs and neglect ruined her, she was the loveliest princess in Christendom? Still he manages to throw her aside. Strange, Mary?"

"Now we are ruled by two queens," I am compelled to say. I tremble at the thought, not because I am afraid but because it is so odd.

"Not for long," says Madge. "Not now that Mistress Anne is granted Hampton Court!"

We burst into another fit of giggling, all pondering dissipated. It is all such a game to us, two girls barely out of the nursery, still naive enough to enjoy the intrigues of the court.

"Will we all move, then?" I ask.

"I imagine the Anne faction will relocate to the palace. It sounds as though His Majesty plans on making it the new London residence," says the all-knowing Madge.

"How terribly exciting!" I breathe.

"Oh, Mary, you're such a little girl," Madge scoffs, but there is no malice behind it and I respond with a smirk. "Do you think old Wolsey left all his red fabric behind?" she adds.

"Why?" I ask.

"To swathe the halls of Hampton Court, of course!"

I laugh in approval, remembering the very rotund Cardinal Wolsey.

Still, the laughter is a little forced. I do believe even cynical Madge seems to pity King Henry's poor discarded adviser, and it takes away from the excitement of our move.

A little.

I am tired. I am so caught up in this faerie world that I do not sleep at night. I toss and turn, anticipating what wonders will await me the next day. What games will we play? What songs will we sing?

We await our move to Hampton Court. We gossip in voices that ring out like the tinkling of little chimes. We drink wine. Anne thinks it's funny to see my face get flushed.

We all congregate at supper and I can't keep my eyes open. My father sits far out of my reach with the other members of the council. As Mother predicted I do not see her, but I catch glimpses of the duke at court. We do not speak, not until he lays a hand on my shoulder in the hall on the way back from an evening's entertainments, pulling me aside.

I am thrilled to be acknowledged. "How now, Father?" I ask with a cheery smile. It is Anne's smile. I practice it whenever I'm alone.

"Wipe that stupid grin off your face. You look like a harlot," says Norfolk. He grips my shoulder and guides me down the hall toward his apartments.

He takes me to his privy chamber and sits behind his austere mahogany desk, folding his hands before him and regarding me, one eye squinting, as though I am a diamond he is examining for flaws. "How is Anne?" he asks after a long pause.

"I think she is well, sir," I say.

"Has she slept with the king?"

I am shocked at the question. My face burns and I bow my head.

"Don't play innocent. I know how maidens talk." He has not raised his handsome voice; it is thin and impatient but not loud.

I still cannot look at him. "She does not speak of that," I say.

"Don't you
listen
, fool?" he demands, slamming his hand on the desk. "Do you think you're here for your own entertainment? Do you realize your task in this? You are to be my ears, Mary. I depend on you to report to me all that is said and done in those chambers."

"What am I to do if she does...if she is..." I cannot say it. I don't even know what it really means.

"Nothing," he says. "It is not your place to advise her, not that she'd take it from the likes of you as it is. You are my ears, Mary, that is all. I will expect a nightly report from this day hence. It seems she is weakening under his pressure. No doubt with Hampton Court now dangling before her, she feels secure in her position and thinks she'd have nothing to lose by giving in. Fools, all of them." The fist on the desk clenches and my eyes are drawn to it. A melding of perfection and anger. "She is difficult to manage," he says now, more to himself. "It would have made life easier if he'd have settled for that dolt of a sister of hers; she's already proven her capacity for childbearing." He shakes his head, then returns his black eyes, eyes that are much like our Anne's, to me. "It is vital that Anne understands the king's fickle nature; that he tires of his playthings once he has them."

I do not know how to respond to this monologue so remain silent, wondering if he will dismiss me.

"Do you understand, Mary?" he asks, leaning back in his chair.

I nod. "Yes, my lord. I understand."

"Go on, now. It's late," he says. "To bed with you."

I turn to leave, but he raps his hand on the desk. I turn.

Without raising his head he says, "News from Sir Edward Stanley." My brother-in-law? What news could there be of him? Was my sister with child? My heart leaps at the thought of being an aunt. "Seems your sister Catherine passed from the plague."

I am dizzy. My head tingles. Catherine...my fair sister, Catherine, newly married. She was going to have a happy life; a quiet country life with many children. She was so gentle and sweet...Catherine. How could he tell me like this? How could he just sit there and mention my sister's death with the same dismissive tone he'd describe a failed crop or broken axle?

I approach the desk, trying to remind myself that he is a soldier. It is not in a soldier's nature to show emotion; they see death all the time. Should they cry, I imagine their tears would never stop.

Rounding the desk I inch closer to where he sits. He has not raised his head. He is looking through some documents. Letters from Stanley? From behind I wrap my arms about his shoulders in a feeble embrace, leaning my head against his cheek. He stiffens, every muscle growing taught beneath my touch. I drop my arms and bow my head, tears burning my eyes.

"Will we go to her interment?" I ask hopefully.

"Of course not," he answers, his tone gruff. "It's foolhardy to go where the plague has been."

For a moment I just stand before him, helpless. There's so much I want to say but cannot articulate. "Should we say a prayer for her?" I ask at last, my voice small.

He sets the document on the desk, facing me at last. "Prayers never brought any of my other children back. I don't expect it will work for her. Off with you now."