Secrets of My Hollywood Life #2: On Location (6 page)

"You're like my second assistant," I realize suddenly. "I should just pay you and then you wouldn't have to get a job."

"I don't need the money," Liz says dismissively Liz's dad is loaded. He's the top entertainment lawyer for half of Holly wood, including me. He works at the same firm as Sky's dad.

"But that would get your dad off your back," I suggest ex citedly. "And we'd still get to be together. On location, a lot of people have more than one assistant because there's more to do than just the regular stuff. I'm sure Nadine would love the help. And besides, you always said you wanted to learn about producing movies. When you're not busy, you could shadow Hutch's producing partner, Daniella Cook."

"You think so?" Liz taps her pale blue clutch thoughtfully. "I would like the chance to do that."

"And Rodney could pick you up on our way to the set and take you home so you wouldn't--"

"I think she gets the idea." Austin laughs, putting his hand over my mouth as a flashbulb goes off nearby. Great, I can just imagine the
Us Weekly
caption for that photo.

"I'm in." Liz grins. I grab her and the two of us jump up and down and squeal as someone takes more pictures. Josh and Austin look amused as they move back to give us room. In the middle of the commotion, Rodney and Matty walk over with plates piled high with Szechwan beef and lobster eggrolls. An Xbox girl with a clipboard follows them.

"Kaitlin, do you and your friends want to go over to your gaming area?" she asks. The four of us look at each other.

"Let's go," Josh suggests, looking at Austin.

Liz and Josh take the lead. I grab Austin's hand and, as al ways, feel comforted to hold it in mine.

"So you can pay Liz to hang out on set, but you don't want me around?" he asks.

My mouth drops. I didn't even think of asking Austin. "Of course I want you to visit. I just thought--" I gasp.

"I'm kidding." Austin chuckles. "It would be weird to be employed by my girlfriend. And besides, I think the less I'm around Drew the better."

My stomach twists. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Forget about it," Austin says good-naturedly. "But if you
really
feel bad about it, I know a way you can make it up to me."

"How's that?" I ask.

He gives me a mischievous grin. "Is that Carmen Electra over there?"

I follow his gaze and see the beautiful brunette in a tight mini. "I think so," I reply meekly.

"If you could get me one game
of Madden
with her, I think I could forget all about Drew what's-his-name."

I guess that's worth seeing your boyfriend flirt with a professional model. "It's a deal," I say trying not to sound jealous.

SATURDAY 6/9

NOTE TO SELF:

Movie starts in 1 week!!!

Accent class--10 AM, Mon.

EW
Interview--3 PM, Tues.

Stunt training w/Drew--6 PM, Tues.

Final Wardrobe fitting--Wed. 11 AM, after Capoeira session

*Lunch with Laney, Mom, Dad--Thurs. @ 1 PM, Wilshire's

FIVe:
Wilshire's

It takes me almost ten minutes to drag my bruised, battered, and completely exhausted body from the curb in front of Wilshire's restaurant, where Rodney's dropped me off to the patio. Every step is agony and all I can think about is having Nadine book me a deep tissue massage after lunch. Maybe it's because principal photography's only four days away but my already hardcore trainers have become ultra-hardcore, and this morning's sessions were
killer.

I slowly wind my way around Wilshire's patio and scan the crowd of beautiful people for my parents and Laney. The organic eatery is one of Laney's new favorite restaurants. I'm not sure if the draw is the delicious food or the garden dot ted with real fireplaces, candles, and canvas sails connecting one tree to the next, but the atmosphere here is serene even during a business meeting.

"Hi, Katie-Kat," Dad greets me as I approach the table. Mom and Laney are so deep in conversation, they don't re alize I've arrived till Dad announces me. Mom quickly slides the magazine they were both looking at off the table and into her new Gucci tote.

"Hi, sweetie!" She sounds almost too happy.

"What was that?" I gingerly lower myself in the chair.

"Would you like a drink, Ms. Burke?" A cute blond waiter saves Mom from answering.

"Chamomile tea with honey, please," I request. "And make it a pot."

"Tough workout, Katie-kins?" Dad booms cheerfully. Sus piciously, I keep my eyes on Laney and Mom. "Well, they've got to get you souped up for this role," he adds. "Can't run an engine without oil, honey"

I nod, even though I'm not sure what Dad's hokey car speak means. Dad's a producer now (he usually works on my films, but he won't be on this one. Hutch usually sticks with the same producers on all his films), but the terminology lingers from his car salesman days.

"What's going on?" I demand as Mom and Laney begin whispering again. Laney opens her mouth to answer and promptly shuts it as our waiter appears again with my tea.

"Thanks." I gratefully pour some tea, then turn back to Laney, who is rapping her long nails on the table while she stares at me.

Oh I know! Maybe they're annoyed I didn't change my outfit. "I'm sorry," I apologize. "I didn't have time to go home and shower." I'm still wearing my eggplant-colored velour warm-up suit from stunt training and my hair hangs in a high, sweaty ponytail. Hey, but Dad's not dressed up either. Though Mom and Laney are in pant suits, Dad's wearing his standard golf shirt and pleated khakis. Humph.

"It's not that, sweetie." Mom eyes me up and down. "Al though it wouldn't hurt to leave an extra pair of jeans and a sensible blazer in the car for emergencies."

"Emergencies? What's happened now?" I groan, instantly feeling even more tired.

"I wouldn't say
emergency,
" Laney explains hurriedly nar rowing her eyes at my mother. "More like an unexpected change in plans. Nothing you can't handle."

I don't say anything. I know from experience Laney will spill the bad news when she's ready. But before she can con tinue, her cell phone rings. She looks at me apologetically, then turns towards the glowing fireplace behind us. "
I told you, Beth,
hold my calls," she hisses. "Unless it's Reese. Or Russell. Or Julia." She snaps shut the razor-thin cell phone, a gift from Usher. "Your mom and I just came from a meeting with Carol Ingram and Drew Thomas's people," Laney ex plains after a long pause. "She outlined your pre-publicity requirements for
The Untitled Hutch Adams Project.
"

"Is this movie ever going to have a name?" Dad asks as he mulls over the menu.

"Oh, is that all?" I thought something major happened, like Hutch wanting me and Sky to change roles. (I had that nightmare last night.) "Drew and I did some press together at the Xbox party last weekend. It wasn't so bad."

"See? She doesn't mind doing appearances with Drew." Mom nudges Laney. "Speaking of the Xbox party, I thought you were supposed to be studying Saturday night." Mom raises her right eyebrow.

I hide my head in my menu. Crab cakes, mouth-watering risotto, and vegetarian pasta. Hmm...I have to wear a bathing suit for the swim meet scene we're shooting on Sun day. Maybe I should have a salad. When I close the menu, our waiter is waiting.

"I'll have the calamari and watermelon salad," I order. When the waiter leaves, I get down to business. "Let me have it."

Mom looks at Laney. "Let's talk about some good news, shall we?" Laney suggests. "Seth called this morning and said your film rider was approved. A NordicTrack elliptical trainer will be delivered to your trailer on Sunday."

HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER FIVE: Film riders--those phantom documents that contain all of a celebrity's de mands for a film, TV show, photo, or music shoot--are the icing on the status cake. A-listers typically have contracts that allow them 30 to 40 perk points, each of which involves some sort of financial compensation, like $1,500 a week for an on-set nanny or $1,000 a week for a trainer. I asked for an elliptical, which will not only help me stay fit for filming but also provide stress relief, and a supply of tea and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf fat-free vanilla Ice Blendeds. Studios are used to the requests, but they still triple cross their fingers that stars' demands don't spiral out of control. I know a for mer costar who insisted on eight-hundred-thread-count sheets on her hotel room bed, $75 vanilla candles burning in the bathroom, and chilled raspberries on the nightstand
every night.

"Your elliptical request was nothing compared to what Sky asked for," Laney whispers, sliding her Louis Vuitton shades over her eyes to block the bright sun. "In addition to completely organic meals, and Evian stored at a slightly chilled temperature, Sky demanded oxygen be pumped in her trailer to keep her refreshed."

Mom rolls her eyes. "Anyway, Seth also said to tell you that Liz has been added to your payroll and that the studio is going to pick up the tab."

"Wow, that's awesome!" My hungry eyes follow the waiter as he places a bread basket on the table. Mom catches me staring and raises her right eyebrow again. I wouldn't dream of taking a piece under her watch, even if it has been hours since Bruce made me a banana shake that tasted like chalk.

"Kate-Kate, next time you want to add an assistant you should talk to Nadine about it beforehand," Dad warns. "She was a little upset to hear that you were hiring Liz for the shoot."

"She was?" I thought Nadine liked Liz. "She's always so busy on my film shoots that I thought she'd welcome an ex tra pair of hands."

"You know Nadine," Mom says briskly and pushes her hair behind her shoulders. "She likes to take credit for do ing all the work herself."

Dad clears his throat. "Honey, Nadine told me she's worried that she and Liz are too different to be your joint assistants. She doesn't mind Liz hanging out on set, but she said when it comes to a job, they have different ethics and backgrounds."

"Liz wouldn't be caught dead with a shopping bag from Discount World, if that's what Nadine means," Mom chides. Laney snorts.

I shoot them both a warning look. Discount World is one of those superstores where you can buy everything from dishwasher detergent to polyester blend clothes. Nadine loves their bargain finds. She got most of my school disguise clothes there. "She's not leaving me, is she?" I suddenly panic. "I thought she wasn't ready to apply to business school!"

"She didn't say she's leaving," Dad soothes me. "But talk to her about Liz, okay, sweetie?"

"The bottom line is you have two assistants this summer and you're going to have a great time shooting this movie," Mom throws in gushingly. I knew it! Something
is
wrong. Mom is too happy for a woman who is missing a great sale at Maxfields to have our lunch.

"There is one more thing," Dad inserts delicately. "The studio wouldn't budge on letting you use Paul and Shelly for hair and makeup."

I frown. Paul and Shelly have been with me forever on
Family Affair.
They're good company and I trust them com pletely, which is why I try to use them for all my work. They helped me come up with my high school look.

"Hutch has the same artists work on all of his films," Mom explains.

"It was a long shot," I say sadly.

"Now the less-than-great news," Laney says, putting her bony tanned arms on the table and leaning forward. "You're going to have to do
a lot
of press for this movie, Kaitlin, and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT."

"Okay" I shrug, reaching inside my bag for my whirring Sidekick. I pull it out and look at the message. It's Austin.

WOOKIESRULE: Hey. Miss U. I'm in Mrs. Desmond's and we're playing French hangman. What's the word 4 book? Le Book?

He's so cute.

"...and most of it is going to be done with Drew. Kaitlin?" Laney scolds as I type back.

PRINCESSLEIA25: It's le livre, Meyers!

"Drew, got ya." I giggle, not looking up.

"KAITLIN, THEY WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE YOU TWO ARE DATING." Laney spits out loudly.

"WHAT?" I screech, startling the poor waiter. My salad al most flies off my plate as he places it in front of me. "Carol wants us to pretend to date?" My heart starts racing.

"Now that I have your full attention, no, Carol didn't come out and
actually
say that," Laney back-peddles, "but I'm not stupid. I know that's what she was getting at by insist ing you arrive at several major upcoming events together without dates. It's a terrible idea, but there's no arguing with her." Laney shudders. "You should have heard her: 'I'm trying to help your client, Laney.' Ha! I'm sure she's just trying to de stroy me through you."

"Why would she want people to think we're dating?" I ask, clutching my Sidekick to my heart. What will the world--namely Austin--think if I start popping up everywhere with Drew? "I won't do it. I don't have to do anything that's not in my contract."

"Dating Drew is not in your contract, but unfortunately following Carol's publicity requirements is," Laney states. I look at Mom, who handles all my contracts.

"How could I know what Carol was up to? I thought any publicity for the film was good publicity." Mom nervously pats her hair, which is straightened.

"I don't get it. Why would she think us dating would help the movie? Whenever people hook up on set, it usually ends horribly," I remind them. "Couples break up and refuse to do post-production publicity together, and the bad blood is all over the weeklies."

"I almost think she's hoping you two fight in public," Laney says grimly. She seems quite calm, almost beaten, which is
so
not like her. "Carol doesn't think bad blood means bad publicity. She believes tabloid coverage is great free press. As long as it's juicy and not slanderous, then it helps create buzz about a film, whether the couple is real, fake, or broken up." Laney stabs a piece of cucumber with her fork.

"She wants to get people talking," Dad suggests. "It's not such a bad idea, sweetie. It will keep both you and Drew in the public eye while you're off TV screens for a few months."