Secrets and Satin: A MacKenzie Novel (Romantic Suspense) (MacKenzie Family) (20 page)
Read Secrets and Satin: A MacKenzie Novel (Romantic Suspense) (MacKenzie Family) Online
Authors: Liliana Hart
She stiffened as her mind began to clear, and she scrambled to move out from under him. He lifted himself off her and rolled to the side, and she curled into herself, cursing her lack of control.
“Let’s start this again,” he said. “I love you. And I heard you say the words. I need to hear them again.”
“It’s just something people say in the heat of the moment.” Her voice caught on a sob, and she wondered if she’d ever be able to forgive herself for lying to him.
“Dammit, Jade. Give me something.” Frustration edged in his voice and he ran his fingers through his hair. “You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything just now. That what just happened was only sex.”
“You don’t understand!” she cried out, pulling one of the pillows in front of her and hugging it close.
“Then explain it to me! You give your body to me in ways you’ve never given it to anyone before. You trust me with your life, but not your heart. And you say you love me when I’m buried deep inside you, but you can’t look me in the eye and say it now. So yes, explain what the hell the problem is. Explain why I can’t get down on my knees and ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. To grow old with me and have children with me.”
“I can’t have children!” she screamed and then clamped a hand over her mouth as a sob escaped.
Every last bit of air deflated from his lungs as the words penetrated. It felt as if the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Sound ceased to exist—just an empty void as the blood rushed to his ears.
Reality came crashing back as her gut-wrenching cries broke through the fog surrounding his brain. She
curled up in a ball in the center of the bed and her body shook with tremors. To see a woman so strong break down was almost more than he could bear, and he went to her, gathering her in his arms and rocking her back and forth like a child.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered through her sobs. “I’m sorry.” He waited until she was quiet in his arms. Until only the occasional tremor shook her body. “I won’t ask you if you’re sure, even though I didn’t see any reports on it after your miscarriage.”
She tried to move away from him, but he just shifted their positions so she sat cradled in his lap.
She turned her head away from him when she answered.
“I had the doctor leave it out of the written report so I could go back on duty. The damage was too severe, they said. The bleeding too bad. So they had no choice but to give me a hysterectomy or I would have bled to death.”
Max let out a slow breath and held her tighter. “I wish you would have told me. You didn’t have to go through that alone.”
“Maybe I just wanted to delay the inevitable,” she said. “I couldn’t tell you. At first because I was ashamed of the way I broke down when you told me about Donovan. I’d never lost control like that before.” She sucked in a shuddering breath. “And then I lost—I lost the baby, and it was my fault because I lost control.”
“No—” His heart ached for her, but she had to know she was wrong. “You can’t blame yourself
for what happened. It’s just as easy to blame myself for the way I told you. But it wasn’t anyone’s fault, baby.”
“Then time started passing and every day it seemed like that day faded a little bit more in my memories. And then you were there and I started seeing you as something I never had before. Only I wanted you too bad to tell you the truth.” Her voice seemed to steady as she explained, and the light finally began to dawn.
“You were right. I think I thought you’d be safe. That you could satisfy my body but not touch my heart because I didn’t believe I’d ever be able to love again. And I didn’t think that you could ever love me. I’ve watched the women go in and out of your life over the years, and I thought I’d be one of them. But then I realized that I was lying to myself and I loved you more than I thought I would ever be capable of loving.”
“God, Jade—” He kissed her brow and pulled her closer. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that. I love you too, sweetheart. I loved you when you belonged to someone else, and I love you even more now.
And there will be no more women in and out of my life. In fact, there hasn’t been any woman but you in my bed for more than two years. You’re it for me.”
“That’s what I was afraid of,” she said. The sadness in her voice had him lifting her chin with his finger
so he could look into her eyes. “You deserve so much more than what I can give you, Max. You deserve to have a woman who’s whole, so you can get down on your knees and ask her to spend her life with you. To have children with you.”
“You’re going to piss me off, love,” he said, rubbing his thumb along her bottom lip. “Do you think you telling me you can’t have children is going to make me stop loving you? Let me ask you something,” he said before she could answer. “When you were stuck inside that orphanage, did you dream of a couple like us coming in to take you home? Do you think there’s not someone exactly like you waiting for us right now? Or that there won’t be two or five or ten years from now? You make me whole, Jade. Just you. Not anything else. As long as I have you then everything else will happen as it should.”
“God, you make it sound so simple.” She scrubbed her hands over her face, wiping away the tears.
“Because it is simple.
Marry me. Love me. And let me love you back. Nothing else matters.”
“Your family might have something to say about that,” she said with a bitter laugh. “You can trace the Devlin name practically to the dawn of time. You have a legacy, Max. Something you can only pass down to a biological child. Why would you deny yourself that?”
“I can just as easily pass it to a child who needs a good home,” he said with a shrug. “They’re just things, Jade. It’s just a name. It pales in comparison to spending the rest of my life without you.”
Her arms wrapped around him and she buried her face against his chest. “I love you so much,” she whispered.
“That’s a step in the right direction for sure. I’m not on my knees, but I’m pretty damned close,” he said, lifting her face once more and seeing the hope in her eyes. “Marry me, Jade. Spend your life with me. Love me.”
“More than you know,” she said. “Always.”
Two Months Later…
The bride was beautiful. It was all Max could think as he watched her walk down the aisle, the white gown showing off the glow of her skin and the radiance in her eyes.
The MacKenzies had
insisted they have the wedding at the family farm in Surrender, Montana. He stood with the preacher and his best man, Cade MacKenzie, under a canopy of trees burnished red and orange and gold as summer finally gave way to fall. Max looked out at those witnessing their special day with pride. All the family he needed was here to watch him take Jade as his wife.
The smile she gave him as she met him
at the end of the aisle had his heart swelling in his chest. Love shone across her whole face and there was a joy inside her he hadn’t seen in a long time. She took his outstretched hand, and it was easy to see their future in her eyes as they promised to love and cherish for a lifetime.
And at the end
of the ceremony, Max closed his eyes and said a small prayer, thanking Donovan for being there to love her first. To love her how she deserved. And then he thanked him for giving Max the gift of being able to love her too.
***
Declan MacKenzie stood off to the side and watched Max and Jade make their promises to each other, and a bitter disappointment and jealousy filled him, though he wanted to be happy for them.
He
was
happy for them.
He knew better than anyone that his path
had already been forged. There wasn’t a happily-ever-after in his future. Not when the only woman he’d ever wanted had been married to a traitor. And especially not when that woman was a traitor herself.
No, his shot at happily-ever-after had long since passed. Because now it was his job to hunt down the love of his life and catch her in her own web of lies and deceit
.
SINS AND SCARLET LACE
(Declan and Sophia’s Story) will be out in April 2013! In the meantime, check out
www.mackenzieseries.com
for all the latest news
and updates about your favorite family.
About the author:
Liliana Hart is an award winning author of more than a dozen books. She lives in Texas in a big rambling house with her laptop and cats, and she spends way too much time on Twitter. She loves hearing from her readers.
Connect with me online:
http://twitter.com/Liliana_Hart
http://facebook.com/LilianaHart
My Website
:
http://www.lilianahart.com
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Secrets and Satin
, I would appreciate it if you would help others enjoy this book, too.
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Links To My Other Books:
MacKenzie Box Set
(includes the 5 books listed above)
Goldilocks and the Three Behrs
Remember Max mentioning Gabe Brennan in
SECRETS AND SATIN
? Make sure you mark your calendars for
KILL SHOT
, coming April 30, 2013. Gabe heats up the pages with his very own story and the start of a new romantic thriller series that will blow your mind!
E
xcerpt from
KILL SHOT
:
By her calculations, Grace Meredith had exactly five and a half seconds to take out six targets before an alarm sounded. She had a round in the chamber and five in the magazine of her M40A5. Piece of cake.
She ignored the mosquitoes the size of hummingbirds searching for exposed flesh, and she ignored the sweat that dripped steadily down her spine as she looked through the scope of her rifle. The temperature was in the mid-nineties, but the canopy of trees that blanketed the area held the heat in like an oven and slowly baked anyone who didn’t have shelter. Her body and mind were disciplined, so the discomforts didn’t register.
Colombia wasn’t known for its gentle climate. Or gentle anything for that matter. Gemino Vasquez was Colombia’s baddest arms dealer, and lately his biggest client had been North Korea. But Vasquez had something Grace wanted very badly. Something that would bring in a big, fat paycheck from the South Korean government.
She shifted slightly, and the bark of the large tree branch she’d laid on for the last four hours ground against her stomach. But her focus was absolute. Not even the hundred and fifty foot drop to the ground could distract her.
The orange sun blazed just over the tops of the trees, but it would disappear completely in another twenty minutes. By the time it was gone, she’d have the flash drive in hand and already be across the border to Venezuela.
Grace did one final check of all her equipment and took a deep, steadying breath, slowing her heartbeat so her pulse would be in time with each shot. She’d hit the sentry at the top of the Vasquez compound first and then take the rest in order from left to right. She pushed her feet against the tree for balance. The clock ticked in the background of her mind as she put the slightest amount of pressure on the trigger.
“One,” she whispered. She didn’t wait to watch him fall, but moved to the next target. Five seconds until the report from her rifle reached their ears. Five seconds for five more kills.
Two…
Three…
Four…
Five…
Six…
Grace didn’t stop to check the accuracy of her shots. She never missed. She hung her rifle on a tree branch, already missing the feel of it in her hands. Time was of the essence now, and she couldn’t afford to be burdened with too much equipment. The new guards would be driving up soon for the shift change, and she had to be long gone by then.