Secrets and Satin: A MacKenzie Novel (Romantic Suspense) (MacKenzie Family) (14 page)

“Why don’t we focus on the job here before we start making other plans,” she said, nerves prickling along her skin. “One day at a time. I figure you more than anyone else would know that’s the best way to live.”

“Yes, except for the fact that I happen to love you, even though every time I say it you get that look right there on your face. Is the thought of me loving you that repulsive, or are your feelings for me that non-existent?”

The words were angry, and the blue of his eyes seemed to become brighter, sharper, as he stared her down and waited for an answer. She’d known this was coming. He’d tried to bring it up on several occasions, and she’d always changed the subject and ignored the hurt she saw in his eyes.

“And how many women have you said those words to?” she asked. “You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. It’s none of my business.” Her own anger and ineptitude made her lash back at him. “Why can’t we just leave things as they are?” She turned away and paced back and forth in front of the bar, while Max stayed completely still. That was never a good sign. Max was always in constant motion.

“
I’ve never said those words to any woman, and it pisses me off that even now you don’t believe me. I understand if you need time to adjust to what’s happening between us, though to tell you the truth it feels like we’ve been adjusting for the last two years. Yes, I want a future with you and all the things that go with it, but that can wait until you’re ready. What I can’t understand is that you don’t seem to want me to love you at all. Explain that one to me.”

“Why the hell aren’t you happy that you’re getting every man’s fantasy? You get to fuck me without any of the other bullshit.”

His mouth tightened in a straight line and his nostrils flared at how casually she’d debased what had happened between them, and guilt ate at her insides for deceiving him. But she couldn’t tell him the truth. Not yet. Though she knew the time would come soon. No one but her and her doctor knew she’d never be able to conceive again. Jade had made sure that secret hadn’t gone into any files or reports to Declan or Max. She didn’t need any more of their pity.

And as much as he’d like her to believe that he really did love her, part of her was skeptical. She was a nobody with no background or pedigree, and she had nothing to offer him. Once he got past the sex he’d realize his version of love and hers were two completely different things.

Max’s muscles were tense with anger. “So just to be clear.” His voice cut like a knife and she would have flinched if she hadn’t been holding herself so rigid. “Everything between us up to this point has been about nothing but sex. We shouldn’t try to cloud the issue with emotions or attachments or talk of the future in general. It’s just fucking.” His voice got softer the more he spoke, which she knew was a dangerous sign. “Just like it would be with any other warm body.”

“You’re overreacting,” she said. “I’m just saying we should enjoy it while it lasts and not dwell on anything else. You’re the one trying to make things more complicated.”

“Why, because I like to have feelings for the person I’m inside? I’m not a fucking robot. And we’ve been through too much together for you to tell me to my face that you don’t have feelings for me. Which means there’s some other reason for your resistance and whatever it is is going to piss me off.”

She felt the blood drain
from her face and fear made her words harsh and regretful. “Or maybe you don’t know me as well as you like to think you do. Take what you can get, Max. Or you can take nothing. It’s your choice.”

A knock sounded at the door, but neither of them moved to answer it as they measured each other and where they stood.
Jade couldn’t take the waves of hurt she felt coming from him, and she finally turned on her heel and headed to the door that led out onto the balcony while Max went to deal with whoever was at the door.

The wind wa
s hot and arid and slapped across her face as she made her way to the half wall that separated her and the three hundred feet to the pavement below. Jade watched the lights and traffic of the city, the movement and flashes of color dizzying at such extreme heights. Despite the heat, her skin was chilled and she wrapped her arms around her torso to ward off the cold.

She heard the patio door open behind her and felt Max’s stare.

“That was a messenger delivering an envelope from Martin Vassin. We’ve got tickets to the Heavyweight Championship tonight. Front row seats. We’re supposed to meet to discuss our options.”

“
Do you think he’ll show?”

“Doubtful. He’s playing the watching game for now. He needs time to evaluate what he sees and determine the best way to manipulate us. It’s what he’s best at.” She felt him come up directly behind her, though he didn’t touch. But the heat between them was as scorching as ever and her body tightened, waiting to see what he’d do with the anger she could still feel lashing at her skin.

“Wear the gold sequined dress tonight. We don’t need to be subtle, and it’s best if he doesn’t take you seriously.”

“Maybe we’ll hear from Dec that they’ve found the girl and we can take him down without having to jump through his hoops.”

“What’s the problem, baby? You’ve already scratched your itch and now you’re ready to run back home?” His hands touched her waist and scalded straight through the fabric to her skin. “Surely you haven’t reached your quota of fucking in the short time we’ve been together. Or will any cock do since there’s no emotion involved?” She tried to jerk away from him at the harshness of his words, but he put his hand in her back, keeping her in place and faced away from him. “That’s all it is. Right, Jade?”

His hands smoothed down over her ass and hips
to the bottom of the hem of her skirt, and his fingers skimmed along the bare flesh of her leg. “I guess I should have just given in to you nine months ago when you wanted me then. It would’ve been the same either way. Or maybe I just don’t make you wet anymore. Is that the problem?”

His breath was hot on the back of her neck
and already her pulse was pounding and need was rising inside of her. All he had to do was touch her and she was ready for anything, even though she could feel every ounce of his anger vibrating through the tips of his fingers.

He pushed her skirt above her waist and his fingers were suddenly there between her thighs, probing at the moist flesh.

“No, that’s not the problem,” he said, nipping at her shoulder. “Feel how wet you are for me. Fucking drenching my fingers.”

He withdrew his fingers and she whimpered as his hand fisted in the black thong she wore, ripping it from her body.
She tried to shake him off so she could turn around, but he held her there with teeth and his hips like a stallion pinning a mare. She wanted to face his anger with her own—anger at him and herself and the world because she couldn’t have her happily ever after. Tears were pointless, and wishing for something she couldn’t have only made the pain worse. It was best to put it all away, to compartmentalize her emotions so she didn’t give too much—or at least give more than she could handle.

Two fingers plunged into her
without warning and she cried out as her body adjusted to the invasion. She felt the liquid rush over his fingers, making the entry easier with every push and pull of his hand and her hands reached in front of her to grab on to the railing. His beard rasped against her neck and she spread her legs wider to take more of him.

“Please, Max—”

“What do you want, baby?” he asked. “My cock? Or will anyone’s do?”

“Stop it,” she panted, pushing her hips back against him. “Don’t be this way.
You know it’s only you.”

“No, I don’t know that.
That would be something discussed between a couple in a monogamous relationship. One that meant something besides the occasional fuck.” He pressed against her hip and she felt his cock, rigid beneath his slacks, grinding against her.

His fingers worked in and out of her
while the heel of his hand pressed against her clit. She was going to come, and she shook her head as she felt her muscles tighten around him. She wanted him inside her when she came. Tingles gathered in her clit and her legs shook with tremors. She was almost there.

And then suddenly there was nothing but aching, empty space behind her.

“I’m not here to scratch your itch. You know where to find me if you want something more.”

Her breath sucked in on a sob, and she stood completely still as she tried to grasp what he was doing. Her skirt was still rucked around her waist
and her hands had an iron grip on the top of the railing. But her spine was stiff in her humiliation as she stared straight ahead.

The patio door opened behind her. “We need to leave in twenty minutes. Be ready.” And then he was gone and she wondered how things had gotten so complicated. Because the only time she’d ever hurt as badly as she did now was when her husband had died.

Jade kept her head held high and her expression serene as she and Max were shown to the seats marked VIP.
They hadn’t spoken since what had happened between them on the balcony, and he was doing his best to ignore her, despite his eyes going dark and the obvious bulge behind the zipper of his tuxedo slacks once he saw her in the excuse for a dress he’d asked her to wear.

Gold and sequined, the dress was strapless and fit like a bandage, stopping just below her ass and giving her the illusion of curves where she knew there were none.
Matching stilettos made her legs look a mile long, and she’d actually bothered to put on makeup, so the green of her eyes was vibrant against the smoky shadow and thick eyeliner.

They were close enough to the ring to be spattered with sweat or blood
, and she affected a slightly bored expression while she tried to catch sight of Martin Vassin. The arena was packed and the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up.

“I don’t have a good feeling,” she said, leaning into Max so she could be heard over the noise of the crowd.

“Because you’re not an idiot,” he said. “We’re being watched. I feel like I have a target on the back of my head.”

The announcer came on
, his deep voice accelerating and growing louder and louder as he introduced the first boxer. The crowd went wild, jumping and screaming, and the whole arena vibrated from the stomps and shouts.

Max stiffened
beside her and she looked over to see what was wrong.

“Hey, sugar.”
Jade arched a brow as a scantily clad ring girl latched onto Max. She read the woman’s lips more than hearing the actual words, but the intent was plain as day.

“What do you say you and I get to know each other a little better?”
She practically had to yell the words to be heard over the crowd, but Jade saw red as her hand trailed down Max’s chest toward his belt. He caught her hand before it could go too low and then quickly let go.

The woman’s
skirt was white and short and her bikini top barely contained her generous breasts. Her body was tanned and slicked with oil and her dark hair hung in loosed curls down her back. Red lips pouted seductively as she moved in closer to Max and slid something into his hand. It was the only thing that kept Jade from knocking her back on her well-padded ass.

There was no doubt she was a beautiful woman, and jealousy reared its ugly head as she
wondered again what Max was doing with her. She’d seen some of the women he’d dated over the last few years and she didn’t come anywhere close. Jade grabbed the woman’s hand before she could rub Max’s chest again.

“Don’t touch—sugar,” Jade said, her smile sharp.

The woman’s dark brown eyes flashed once and then she ignored Jade, turning back to Max while he read the note she’d delivered to him.

“What do you say?” the woman asked, rubbing her breast against his arm. “I’ve been watching the two of you since you came in. You can’t tell me you’re together.”
Her eyes cut to Jade and she smiled cruelly. “Why would you want her when you could have someone like me?”

The question so mirrored Jade’s own thoughts she could only stop and wait to see what happened. The woman’s
fingers walked up Max’s chest, and it was Max who grabbed her wandering hand this time.

“She asked you not to touch,” he said, his voice dark and dangerous.

Jade saw the arousal in the woman’s eyes and the way she shuddered when he squeezed her hand.

“But I promise
it’ll be worth it,” she purred. “Lose the baggage and I’ll show you just how much.”

Max folded the note and put it in his jacket pocket
, and then pulled Jade close so she was snuggled against him. His arm was warm and tight around her, and she let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. She’d missed his touch, and it was only then she realized how distant he’d been.

“Tell Mr. Vassin I’ll
agree to meet him tomorrow, but if he tries to fuck me over again things aren’t going to end well.” His scowl darkened and the girl took a step back. “Now if you’ll excuse us, my companion and I have better things to do. It looks like we were given the cheap seats from where I’m standing.”