Secrets and Lies 2 (6 page)

I can’t stop.
 

I have to kiss him harder, hold him tighter. I work my hands under his shirt and rake my nails across his back. Nathan lets out a low growl and kisses me harder, pressing me into the fabric as he does so. I need more. The swirling within me, the butterflies have turned ruthless, and they won’t stop. At the same time the pulsing between my legs has started making my breasts ache for his touch, but he doesn’t move his hands. They remain on either side of my head pinning me in place.
 

The drape is still across my lower half, and tangling around me. Nathan glances up at the door, ripping his lips from mine. He’s breathing hard and covered in sweat that smells delicious. I want to slide my tongue along his face, across his temple and down his cheek, devouring every last drop.
 

What’s wrong with me? I never do things like this, I never felt like this before. I’m pancakes—warm and yummy. I’m not sexy like Natasha. But right now, I’m a bubble being blown higher and higher, getting bigger and bigger. Every inch of me is so sensitive that I can’t hide my moans when Nathan touches me. I can’t stand his distance and pull him back down, crushing him to me.

I kiss him hard and ask in a breathy voice, “Is everyone gone?”

His lips have traveled to my neck. I can barely form words anymore. I’m all animal and Kerry is gone. My body presses against his, slipping beneath him, clawing at any bit of flesh I can find.

Nathan groans when I dig my nails into his side. He looks me in the eye, lips parted, eyes darkened with desire, he nods. When I press my nails deeper into his skin, and pull, he gasps and presses his hips to mine. I whimper finally feeling his jean-clad, hard length press against my leg.
 

He’s shaking, and his words are barely audible. “Yes, they’re gone. The cleaning crew won’t be here for a while, but I can’t do this here. We need to…Oh, God.”
 

No one’s here. I’m gone. That’s all it takes. My mouth is on his neck, sucking, sliding my tongue over his skin and kissing him hard while I dig my nails into him.
 

He moans my name, trying to stop me, but it just makes me want him more. “Kerry, we have to stop. We’ll lose our jobs for something like this.”

Breathing heavily I manage to stop kissing him. Our bodies are covered in sweat and twisted together on the little chaise. His bulge is right above my core and my heels are being held down with his leg. He begins to release me, but as soon as he does it, I groan. I don’t mean to, and no longer feel like me—I’m this sexy woman who’s seducing this guy. If I even thought about it, I’d die. And that’s just it, I can’t think around him. I’m reduced to a lusty mess of a person, willing to do anything to sate this need. My skin is on fire and even though his words reach me, I can’t pull away. I catch his wrist and he stops. Nate’s frozen in place.
 

My voice is a warm whisper, “Please. Make me forget everything, just for a little while.” Licking my lips, I look up at him, expecting him to say no. “One more kiss?”

Conflict brews in those deep blue eyes. His dark hair is damp and hanging over his forehead. A drop of sweat falls on my face. I close my eyes reveling in the feeling and twist my head, then my neck, forcing the drop between my breasts as it rolls. I’m thinking about him hammering into me hard and that tiny bead of sweat.
 

I wish it was something else…I wish he’d fuck me so hard that he couldn’t stand it anymore and pull out at the last second and let that warm, deliciousness spread across my breasts. I want him to touch them, fuck them, and rub himself all over them. I can’t think anymore and every worry vanishes. I’m lost in my fantasy when I hear him breathe my name.

“Kerry, holy hell. I can’t, don’t do this to me—not here—we have to stop. I want those things. I want to do them with you. Please,” he pulls back and holds out his hand, “come back with me.”

I shake my head. “I can’t stop.” The words run together and I sound drunk and I feel drunk, but it’s happy and warm, and I can’t think. For once, not being in control of everything isn’t bothering me. I want it to stay like this and if we move, well, my senses will come back and I’ll dart. I’ve already said too much, words that will stain my face red next time we meet.
 

But in this moment, there is only right now and that’s all that matters. I’m an orb of sensations and nothing else is going on in my mind. For once I’m not worrying or upset. For once I have a guy that’s into me and likes me. He wants what I want. I can feel it. “Kiss me.”

Nathan closes his eyes, pained, and presses his hips to mine. I gasp and make a light airy sound that seems to undo him. He pauses there, lingering. It’s as if he knows this action will damn him, but he can’t pull away either. Nathan remains a breath from me, suspended in space. Those luscious lips are parted and slick. I can’t stop watching them, hoping they’ll come closer so I can taste him again.

“Kerry, yes, at my place. Now. Right now. Anything you want. Come home with me?”

I make a frustrated sound without meaning to—my body is so hot, so slick with lust that I can no longer form sentences. It takes everything I have to pull back enough to break the invisible bonds holding us together. I’m so worried they’ll vanish and I need them right now—I need him. I nod slowly while sucking my bottom lip. “It’ll be like this?” My voice is barely a breath.

I get treated to the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen. Nathan’s cheeks turn rosy and his lashes lower, glancing down at my body below his. He leans in and whispers in my ear, “It’ll be even better. Come home with me.”

I’m torn. The car ride to his place is going to be strange and I’ve never been with anyone but my ex. A million things could go wrong.

Nathan kisses my cheek and backs up. Holding out his hand, he answers my thoughts, “But a million things can go right. I’m not willing to pass that up, are you?”
 

I look up at him, standing over me. My lips are parted and I’m so infatuated with this guy that I can’t look away. At the same time there’s a tug in the center of my chest that scares me. It has to be because of Matt and the way he left me for Mom. I want that feeling gone and this guy is offering. Pressing my lips together I nod and take his hand.

Nathan smiles again and pulls me up. “Get dressed so I can strip you when we get to my place.”

I giggle, which is totally unlike me, and move toward the spot where I left my things. There’s a row of cabinets behind the backdrop, forming a backstage-like area. The drape trails the floor behind me as I walk. Glancing over my shoulder, I look back at him. “Promise?”

He steps toward me, closing the distance and that tug is there again, sucking out my brains and lighting a fire in my core. His hand cups my cheek, making my lips part. His blue gaze comes so close to my face and then stops. Gently he rubs his thumb across my cheek until his hand slips from my skin. He senses the heaviness of the word, and what I’m asking him to promise is beyond me. On the surface, I’m asking for this time together but my unspoken words matter more.
 

Promise you won’t hurt me the way they did.
 

Promise you’re real.
 

Promise me you won’t turn on me when this is over.
 

Promise me.
 

Nathan’s gaze stays locked on mine. It’s as if he can read my mind by watching my eyes. He doesn’t shy away or make light of my question. He understands the impact of his answer, of whatever he says next.

My stomach dips in those moments of silence and I clutch the drape tighter. Every insecurity I have bubbles up and tries to drown me, but when Nathan looks at me, they vanish. In his eyes, I’m a goddess. I see his thoughts, as strange as that sounds. This feeling of understanding snakes through me and without even touching me, I know what he’s thinking—I can feel it. Frightened and vulnerable isn’t a comfy place. The desire to run juts up from within me. He’s been silent too long, but just as worry surfaces, Nathan reaches for my face. He slips his palms along my cheeks and looks down into my eyes.

“I promise.” His voice is a blanket that surrounds me in warmth and comfort. He’s hot sticky syrup and I’m ready for the change from nice to naughty.
 

We stand like that, eyes locked for a moment. As soon as the words fly from his lips, I believe him. I know it’s true, but I’m afraid of this. The more time I spend with him the stranger this gets. What if he’s my soul mate? Is this so far beyond lust I can’t fathom it?
 

I try to stop the thought as soon as it springs into my mind, fearing he’ll know what I’m thinking, as dumb as that sounds. I don’t believe in ESP, but he seems to have it and that thought would send him running.
 

I try to look away, but Nathan tips my head back so our eyes meet again. “I feel it too and I promise, Kerry.” He leans in and presses his lips to my forehead. My body stiffens as the air is sucked from my lungs. “I don’t know what it means either.”

When he releases me, we both look shell-shocked, but if he’s not running then neither am I. Nathan smiles again, but this time he’s less confident, and more boyish—like this is his first time, even though I’m sure it’s not. He’s too sexy to be a virgin.

Nathan nearly laughs. “What are you thinking?”

I shiver instantly and want to pull away, but my body feels like lead melted into place. For some stupid reason I answer him. “How many women you’ve slept with. I’m wondering if you’re a sexy virgin, which would be the biggest oxymoron ever.”

He smiles that cocky, boyish grin—the one that is dazzling and endearing—the one he first flashed me with in the men’s room after staring at his package too long.
 

STOP THINKING.
 

My face burns and I swear to God he knows that I was remembering his personal parts.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve been the object of many women’s fantasies, but very few have made it to my bed.”

The tension flows out of me, and I’m shocked. “What? Are you saying you can have a snowy, white wedding? Because I can’t. Unless we’re talking the snow in New Jersey, because maybe then I could pull that off. Maybe.” I make a face and he laughs.
 

“I’m not a virgin, but I’m not the man-whore you pegged me as, either.” His lips press together in a nervous way.

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Really? That’s your answer?”

A grin spreads across his face as he tugs playfully at the drape. “And I suppose you make out with anyone who asks?”

I huff, “No, it’s not like that at all! And I’ve had a lot of guys ask. I always say no.”

“Always?” Nathan cocks his head to the side.

My gaze falls to my feet and I can’t help it, I smile up at him. “No, not always. There have been a few exceptions.”

He looks at me and I feel a jolt of lightening course through my body. “A few?”

“Not a few, not even a couple. There’s been one, my only one. He left me the day I met you. When I slammed into you in the guy’s room—it was because he texted me.”

Nathan’s grin vanishes. “He broke up with you in a text?” I nod. His dark eyes glance around the room as his hand comes to rest on his chin, thinking. “So, the night at the bar?”

“It was rebound night.” He cringes and then gives me a pitiful look. I hold up my hands and shake my head. “No, it was fine.”

“It wasn’t. Kerry, let me explain.”

What he says next is going to be the truth. I can tell. There’s something about the way his lips twitch, like this bothers him. His shoulders move a fraction of an inch, sagging ever so slightly, and I really want to know what was so bad that he walked away, but I’m nervous it’ll be something bad.
 

Holding up a hand, I stop him. “It’s all right. You don’t have to tell me.”

“I want to tell you. I want to know you.” He lifts a strand of hair and tucks it behind my ear.

The man is plucking my nerves like the strings on a cello. This one won’t stop quivering and it races through me and comes out in my voice. “I’d like that.”
 

“Me too.” He offers me another kiss on the cheek and it melts me the same way every one of his kisses does. “Finish getting dressed so we can go see what this is, and finish what we started. I just have to grab my bag from the office. I’ll be right back.” He ducks out the door and I’m alone.

Chapter 12

This seems too good to be true, but something is finally going right for me. Unless we’re mauled by the raccoon on the way to Nathan’s house, tonight is going to be great. Just to be sure, he’s driving. I’m not taking any chances.

I disappear behind the curtain and tug on my jeans and slip my bra on. I just happened to wear my favorite black one with cute bottoms. I shaved, body buttered, and waxed everything for class so no one would draw a Sasquatch, so going home with Nathan isn’t an issue. I’m smooth and feel pretty.
 

As I grab my hairbrush and lip gloss to stuff in my backpack, I hear Nathan approaching with someone. I’m still behind the curtain, hidden from sight.
 

Nathan returns, his voice sounding very different from before. “Thank you. It was difficult, but it’s nice to be back.”

Dr. Jax responds, “I can imagine. Family can be difficult at the best of times.”

They’re standing at the opposite end of the room. I’m not sure if I should stay hidden or walk out. I have nothing to hide, so I toss my bag over my shoulder and duck out between the backdrop panels.

Jax glances my way. “So you made it through the night, Miss Hill?” Then, he darts his crinkly eyes the other way toward Nathan. “This is your prize pupil, Nathan, I’m sure of it. There’s no way she can be this brave and talented, and not go places. You’re going to be glad you came back to teach this semester.”

Nathan’s expression changes abruptly and he glances back at me. “I’m sorry, what? Did you say she’s a student?”

Jax laughs. “Yeah, incoming freshman. Fell for my you’re-not-a-serious-artist bit pretty hard. She’s talented and ballsy. I want you in my sculpture class next semester, Kerry.” He points an aged finger at me and laughs as he walks out of the room, leaving us in a wake of silence