Secret of the Sevens (19 page)

My stomach lurches as I realize something. She's already so sad, I hesitate to ask. “What if she died in the fire?”

“No, I did the math. She would have been three months pregnant the March they were murdered. That means she was one of the survivors that never came forward. I think she was scared. She was probably protecting me.”

She kneads her hands together. “I need to know what happened to my mother. I need to save my school and clear the Sevens.”

After sitting quiet, Emily finally looks up at us. “If anyone understands that, it's me.”

Thirty-three

“My turn,” Emily says abruptly. She swallows hard.

Then she stretches her legs straight in front of her and rubs the tops of her thighs. In the candlelight, her somber expression makes her look ghostly.

“I got pregnant when I was fourteen,” she says. “Danny was eighteen and didn't want it. Or me.” Her voice wavers. “I kept the baby, but it was harder than I ever imagined. Money was already tight before Amelia was born. And my neighborhood isn't exactly safe. To be responsible for someone you love in a neighborhood like ours, well, you don't know what that feels like.”

“I do,” Jose says. “My mom sent me here after my older brother was killed in a drive-by. We've been trying for three years to get my younger brother into Singer. There aren't any openings yet.”

“So you get it, then. Sometimes you do what you have to.” Emily's
talking faster now, her hands gesturing in some hyperactive sign language. “I couldn't do school
and
work
and
take care of Mellie too. But I couldn't bear to give her up for adoption either. My mom had an idea. She enrolled both of us at Singer. That way, we both got a decent place to live. Mom could work, and I could finish school like a normal teenager and still be with Amelia at the same time. It was the perfect plan until the first time I heard her call her housemother ‘Mommy.' I cried for two days.”

She buries her face in her hands. Jose scoots close and rubs her back.

After a minute, Emily clears her throat and wipes her face. She twists toward Laney. “You're doing the right thing trying to get your answers. I want my baby to know me more than anything, the same way you're trying to know your mom. That's why
I
joined the Sevens. The invitation promised that the Sevens would grant my greatest desire. I want to be a good mom to Mellie. I want to finish school and go to college. The Sevens are my only chance … ”

Emily takes a deep breath. “So that's my secret. The toddler everyone thinks is my sister is really my daughter. I pretend everything's perfect, but my life is one big messed-up lie.”

In a flash, I remember something Laney told me. “There's no such thing as perfect,” I say. “If you look close enough, there's a hole in everything.”

When I look up, Laney's smiling at me. “That's how the light gets in,” she says.

Thirty-four

“You're not the only one living a lie,” Kollin announces.

His eyes latch on Delaney's. She gives him a half smile and nods, like she's there for him no matter what.

I want to puke.

A corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “I'm in love.”

You've got to be kidding me.

“That's your big secret?” I say. “You and Laney have been going out for over a year. Everyone knows you're the perfect couple. That doesn't count as a secret.”

He gets quiet and stares at Laney. She nods so slightly, I might have missed it if I wasn't already glaring at her.

“It's … not Laney,” he says.

I straighten up. “What?”

Laney drops her eyes.

Kollin repeats in a deeper voice, “It's not Laney.” He frowns and tilts his head, his eyes never leaving her. “Laney's the best. She's just not my type.”

Though I'm not exactly disappointed to hear that, I'm seething that Kollin would hurt Laney like this. I slap my hand on the ground and point at him. “You're hooking up with Emily. I knew it!”

“What?” Emily says.

“What?” Jose says.

“What?” Laney says.

“It's Emily!”

“No, it's not,” Emily says.

“No, it's not,” repeats Kollin.

“It's not?” I ask.

“No!” Emily says. “I'm into Jose.”

“You are?” I say.

“Really?” Jose says, busting into a grin.

When Emily blushes bright red, Jose whispers, “Girl, I'm crazy about you, too.”

What the heck is going on?

I turn to Kollin. “Dude, are you kidding me?” I clench my fists to keep from strangling him. “You hurt Laney for a girl who doesn't even like you? What the fuck is wrong with you? You have Laney Shanahan. What the hell else could you want?”

“A guy.”

I must not have heard right. “Say again?”

“I'm not interested in Emily or Laney or any girl!” Kollin shakes his head at me. “I'm gay, Talan. Everything with Laney is an act. She's my best friend. That's all.”

His face is so smug, so matter-of-fact, I want to … to …

“You son of a—” I lunge across the floor, knocking over several candles. I cock my arm back but Laney holds it behind me. “When were you going to tell her? Your honeymoon?” I yell.

Kollin scuttles backward. “Laney already knows! She's always known!”

The words spin in my head. I take a moment to process them as my arm falls limp to my side. I turn to Laney. “And that's okay with you? You don't mind? I don't understand.”

“Kollin and I were never dating, Talan,” she barks at me. “It's always been an act.”

“But
why
?”

“We have an arrangement.” She looks wilted. “Only upperclassmen with straight A's and full privileges are allowed to leave campus to go on dates. We fake like we're dating so we can go into town.”

“Why do you need to go into town?”

“To research the Sevens and my real mom.” She drops to the ground next to me and sighs. “It started when I got the mail one day and saw a bill for a storage unit in town. We have tons of space in the garage and the attic, so I put two and two together and figured that that's where they hid the trunk. Kollin agreed to act like we were dating so I could check it out, only I couldn't find the right key to open it. Other times, I've gone to the town library so I can research online without worrying about my parents walking in on me. I've read every article ever written about the murder of William Singer and the investigation of the Sevens. That's how I know so much about this school. And the Sevens.”

Jose turns to Kollin. “So why do
you
need to go into town?”

“That's where my boyfriend lives. Nathan and I interned together at the law firm last year. It's the only time I get to see him.”

Someone's playing a hell of a joke on me. “No way. You're telling me you're gay?” I put my hand on his leg. When he glances at it, I jerk it away. “Oh. Sorry,” I blurt out. “That was totally innocent. I'm not, you know, like that.”

Kollin rolls his eyes. “Don't be such a phobe, Michaels
. You're
not my type either.”

“Good.” I sigh, then I realize how dumb I sound. “I mean. I only meant … ” But nothing I say can explain away stupid. “So why don't you just come out? Most kids here wouldn't judge. You're a big deal at this school. No one's going to mess with you.”

“Maybe. But they'd treat me different.” He looks at my hand. “Like you just did.” He moves away from me, and I'm embarrassed. “I'll come out when
I'm
ready. I don't want to be defined by my sexuality. Gay is only one part of who I am. And even more important, when I am ready, I want to tell my father first.”

“He doesn't know?” Emily asks.

“I don't see him enough for him to know. He's deployed in Afghanistan. It's not something I can just Skype him about. I love my dad, but he's an old-school marine. I plan on telling him after graduation. If he's mad, well, I'll be on my own in college anyhow. Well, not exactly alone. Nathan is going to U of I too.”

Emily leans back, her mouth winding into a smirk. “I knew you and Shanahan were faking it the whole time.”

“You did not,” Laney says.

“Yeah, I did. It's so obvious.”

“It was?” Jose and I say at the same time.

“Well, duh. Did you ever watch them? Kollin is always kissing Laney on the cheek or the forehead. That kind of kiss says, ‘You're cute' or ‘we're friends.' When you're into someone, you aren't going to kiss them on the cheek.” She lifts her eyebrows. “It's Body Language 101: if you're crazy about someone, you kiss them on the mouth with all you've got.”

I shake my head at Laney. “So this is for real?” I can't help snicker. “This whole time you were faking you had a boyfriend, and you were really alone? That's so stupid. Why would you settle for that?”

“Shut up, Talan. Not everyone needs to bang everything in sight, like you.”

I shake my head some more, as if I can throw off the shock of it. “You were single the whole time and faking it?”

“Shut up already!” She leans forward, her face pinched and red. “You know another reason I did it? I was sick of you teasing me about never having a boyfriend. Like it's any of your business. I'm sure you're happy now, though. Now you can go back to making fun of me like you always did. You just better remember your vow and do it in private. We're sworn to keep each other's secrets.”

I try, but I can't stop smiling.

“Shut up, Michaels, or I swear I'll choke you! You … you jerk! I noticed you still haven't shared your secret. Well, it's
your
turn now. Tell us, so
we
can make fun of
you
.”

Thirty-five

I stare at Laney and she groans. Her voice rises. “Tell us your stupid secret so we can get this over with and get out of here already.” She glares at me with toxic eyes.

Everything I've heard tonight swirls around inside my brain. Before I can talk myself out of it, I'm crawling toward Laney. I kneel in front of her, but I can't speak.

Laney glowers at me, suspicious eyes scrutinizing my every twitch.

Should I do this?

The words come out shakier than my hands: “My secret comes in two parts.” I take a deep breath, but I still feel winded. Maybe because my heart is pounding like crazy. “Part One.”

I slowly tug my hoodie and shirt up and pull them off me.

She glances at my chest before her eyes return to mine.

“The scars,” I say softly, “weren't from a playground.”

In my peripheral vision, Jose winces.

I close my eyes so I can think. My throat tightens until it's hard to swallow. “Anthony was my mother's dealer first,” I manage to spit out. “Then her boyfriend.”

Blood swooshes in my ears. My mouth and throat are drier than a desert. “He finished his masterpiece in stages, so it wouldn't be as obvious.”

Even shirtless, I'm sweating. I take another breath and lift a shaky finger to my chest. “The S came first. He said … he said … I deserved my own Scarlet Letter.”

My skull is pounding now. I lean forward and tuck my chin until I can swallow back the boulder in my throat.

I straighten up and slowly twist my bicep to show them the burn mark there. “The T on this arm came next.”

I clench and unclench my fists. “There's a U and P on my back that aren't as legible. He did those in one sitting … literally,” I whisper. “He sat on my ass and held me there while he wrote on me with a razor blade.”

My heart hammers inside my chest, pounding under the S like a rioting prisoner.

“There's an I on this arm”—I inhale sharply—“that's easy to hide.” I rotate my right elbow so they can see.

When I bring my hand up to point out the right side of my chest, it's shaking uncontrollably. “He planned on wrapping it around me and finishing on this side. But that day, he changed his mind.”

Every muscle in my body tenses to fight off the memory of it.

“He decided he'd carve the final letter on my forehead. He said it was perfect. S-T-U-P-I and the D on my face. That way, even if I hid everything else with clothes, the D would always be there to remind me that I was dumb.”

My head is dizzy and my throat clenches down on every word I speak. “My mother was lucid enough to hide me that day,” I choke out. “She told Anthony I ran away and he believed her. I hid in a dark closet, still and stiff for hours, until they finally left to score drugs.”

I stare sidelong into the candles to try to refocus. “I tried to get out, but the door was locked. Fortunately … or unfortunately … they got arrested that night. DCFS found me two days later … ”

My eyes gravitate to Laney's. “The day I ran away from Singer. The day you and your dad came and found me in the cemetery? I was going home. I was scared he'd hurt her if I didn't let him finish.”

Tears track Laney's cheeks. Her teeth burrow into her bottom lip.

I blink and swallow a few times before sitting up.

Breathe deep. Breathe deep.

“Now … Part Two of my secret.”

I scoot forward on weak legs toward Laney and softly brush her hair back. She watches me like I'm a magician who's pulling a quarter out of her ear.

I tip my head toward hers. Slowly, slowly, I inch my face nearer and nearer until my mouth just grazes hers.

I wait for a red light. But Laney doesn't balk. She doesn't grimace. She doesn't turn away.

She closes her eyes, leans forward, and presses her lips to mine.

It's soft at first, like a light rain. Then I cup my hand around her neck and kiss her full and hard. When she kisses me back, my brain travels somewhere I've never been. My body warms with an intoxicating buzz until, all of a sudden, Laney freezes.

I jerk back to check her reaction.

She doesn't have one. Her mouth hangs open. Her face is stiff and her forehead is covered with worry lines.

My stomach plunges like a broken elevator.

Kollin's voice echoes behind me. “What … was that?”

“Weren't you listening to anything I said about body language?” Emily says softly. “When you're crazy about someone, you kiss them full on the mouth. Talan is showing us he's whipped on Laney Shanahan.”

Laney looks at Emily and then me, and I don't deny it. She moves her mouth to speak, but nothing results but an expression of terror.

“I know I said I never wanted a girlfriend,” I whisper to her. “I didn't want to get close to anyone. But I want to get closer to you.” I can't take my eyes off her. “You said it yourself—we make a good team. I think we'd be great together, Delaney. Let's take a chance.”

Her face twists like she's in pain. After ten years together, I know what that means. She's torn and she doesn't know what to do. Which can only mean one thing.
She's rejecting me too.

My arms and legs grow shakier. I scoot backward to the dark wall, wishing it would swallow me.

I'm sweating and my face is burning but I rush to get my shirt and hoodie back on anyway. The silence blares louder than the front row at rock concert. I want to blow the candles out and hide in the darkness.

“Oh my God.” Jose's voice rises above the awkward quiet. “What have I done?”

He jumps to his feet. “I screwed up! I'm sorry. We gotta get out of here quick! NOW!”

“What?” Kollin says. “Why?”

Jose's hopping around like there's a fire alarm going off in his head. “I'll explain later. Get up! Everyone! Out! Now!” He reaches for Emily's hand and pulls her up.

“Why? What's wrong?”

“I don't have time to explain. I didn't know. I'll make it right, I promise! Right now we've got to get out of here. Fast!” He yanks my arm so hard it hurts.

“Dude! What are you doing? We still haven't heard
your
secret.”

The four of us are on our feet now. Jose talks fast, herding us toward the stairs. “My secret is I betrayed you. All of you. I told Principal Boyle about the Sevens. He might have followed me for all I know. You need to get out of here. Now!”

Emily gasps. “You told?”

“It was a mistake,” Jose says. “I told the headmaster way back, when I first got the invitation. I had no idea what the Sevens were about then. Same as Talan. I told Boyle that someone was resurrecting the Society and inviting students to join. I'm sorry. I'll make it right, I swear!”

Jose is bouncing around so frantically, I'm scared he'll kick over some candles and burn someone.

“Boyle was pissed when I told him,” he says. “I had no idea he was involved with Kane. He told me to gather information so he can catch everyone in the act.”

Emily sags against the wall. “Jose, why would you do that?”

“I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. I didn't know what to do—everyone said the Sevens were murderers. I figured they were just another thug gang, same as the one that killed my brother. I figured I could work a deal with the headmaster: if I narced, maybe he'd help get my brother into Singer. He's been on the waitlist for three years and he's getting in trouble back home. So I proposed a deal to Boyle. I told him I'd gather information in exchange for getting Manny in.”

Kollin grabs Jose's collar. “What were you thinking?”

“Stop!” I wedge myself between them. “We don't have time for this.” I turn to Jose. “What exactly did you tell Boyle?”

“I only told him about the invitation and first note so far. The more we got into this, the more I started having second thoughts. He doesn't know about any of you or the tests, but he's been pressuring me for more info. He's suspicious of me now—I'm sure of it. He may even be following me for all I know. I caught him watching me the other day. You need to get out of here and stay away from me.”

He herds everyone up the stairs. “I swear I won't betray you to him. No matter what. I'll say I lied, or I'll make something up. I'll figure it out. Just go before we're caught!”