Seaside Secrets (26 page)

“You’re fucking amazing.”

They paddled out again, and Amy tried to catch the next few waves, each time tumbling into the water with Tony there seconds later to help her.

“I’m going to get this next one,” she assured him through trembling blue lips.

“Babe, I could do this all day long, but you might want to take a break and warm up.” He was paddling alongside her board, and when she narrowed her eyes and glared at him, he held his hands up in surrender.

The next wave swelled much larger than the last. “Amy?” he warned.

She shooed him away, jaw clenched, eyes trained on the water. Her board lifted with the swell, and her fingers wrapped tightly around the edges of the board. She pushed her body up and her feet tucked under, left foot leading as she popped up with a little scream of joy.

“Yeah!” Tony hollered.

Amy maintained her balance, her arms loose and extended, leaning slightly forward, lowering her center of gravity just as he’d taught her. Tony punched the air in excitement.
His
Amy was back.
Really back
.

And this time he was never letting her go.

THE NIGHT COULDN’T have been more perfect if Amy had dreamed it up. She and Tony were sitting on a blanket at the top of the dunes at Race Point, named for the fierce rip tides that came around the point of the Cape. Tony had picked up dinner from Mac’s Seafood. They’d shared oysters and mussels, a plate of seafood lasagna, and were working their way through a bottle of wine. Amy was thinking about how long she’d loved Tony and what he’d come to mean to her. He was her quiet strength, the one person who really knew and understood her. Her girlfriends knew and understood her in other ways, but only Tony knew just how to touch her when she was nervous or scared or when she needed to be held. Only Tony had felt the sheer power of their love that summer and the brutal intensity of their loss.

She realized that it was more than just love that kept her from connecting with other men all this time. Their loss bound them together in a way that she now realized left a hole that only Tony could fill. Their past would always be there—a part of them. She hadn’t become pregnant because she was a reckless teenager out having a one-night stand, and she didn’t need to pick it apart any more than they already had. It happened. They survived it, and maybe they were better people because of it. Maybe it had to happen in order for them to come together at the right time in their lives. In any case, now it was time to move on.

As if reading her mind, Tony covered her fingers with his. He smiled, then gazed out at the water, his features more relaxed than she’d seen all summer. In fact, he looked more relaxed than he had in many summers. His white linen pants were rolled up above his ankles. His loose short-sleeve, button-down shirt revealed a tanned swatch of his chest, and his eyes—oh, how she loved the way they told of all his emotions—were no longer shadowed with grief.

“Thank you for today.” She set her wineglass down and curled her fingers around his.

“You were amazing out there. I’d almost forgotten how determined you could be.”

She raised her brows and tucked her hair behind her ear, trying to give him a don’t-underestimate-me look but also feeling proud of herself. So very proud.

“Almost as determined as I can be.” His tone was gravelly as he leaned across the blanket and kissed her.

“I did learn from the best,” she teased.

They finished their wine, and Tony gathered their things in his backpack, then rose to his feet and reached for her hand.

“I have a surprise for you. I’m not sure if you’re going to like it or not, but it’s something I wanted to do, and it’s something I wanted to share with you.”

“Tony Black, you have a worried look in your eyes. Is it dirty?” She narrowed her eyes, feigning seriousness, while anticipation rushed through her veins.

He leaned so close she could smell the wine on his breath. “No, kitten. It’s not dirty. But if you’d like, I can conjure up some dirty surprises for you, too.” He pressed his lips to hers again.

“I’m…open on that front. With you, I mean,” she whispered, feeling embarrassed and brave at the same time.

He kissed her again. “Well, then,” he said in a husky voice, “I’ll have to keep that in mind.” He folded her in his arms. “But for now I would like to go up to the top of the lighthouse and release a paper lantern in honor of my father.”

Her body melted against him. “Tony, I would be honored to share that moment with you.”

He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. He smelled like man and summer and love all wrapped up in one sensual scent.

“Kitten, I also want to release a lantern for the child we lost.”

Amy’s breath caught in her throat. Tears dampened her eyes as she reached deep inside herself and forced her voice to work.

“Tony,” she whispered.

“Too much?”

“No.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Perfect,” was all she could manage. She buried her face in his chest and soaked up his comfort and strength like a sponge.

They put their stuff in the car and Tony grabbed a bag from the backseat.

“How did you arrange this? It’s only open twice a year,” she asked as a young, clean-cut man opened the lighthouse for them.

 As they ascended the red circular staircase toward the top of the lighthouse, the weight of Tony’s protective hand on her back helped keep Amy grounded in the moment. She kept one hand on the brick wall and the other on the railing. Her heart raced as they stepped through the door and into the cool air on the balcony at the top of the lighthouse.

“Let’s just say that I owe Caden big-time. He has a friend with the US Coast Guard, and they arranged for Kyle to let us in.”

Tony set down the bag with the sky lanterns in it and took her in his arms again. She fisted her hands in his shirt for stability, feeling emotionally overwhelmed by what they were about to do. He brushed her hair from her shoulders and kissed her sweetly.

“You okay?”

She nodded and opened her mouth to answer, but no words came.

“It’s okay. Let’s take a moment and just be together.” He held her close and she closed her eyes, reveling in his understanding and love.

She felt him lift his head and clung to him like she was never going to let go. She toyed with the idea of trying to get away with that and imagined herself clinging to him while he surfed. She smiled at the ridiculous thought and forced herself to ease her grip and look out over the water.

“Wow. This is just beautiful.” She looked up at Tony and felt so in love that she had to hang on to him again. She realized that the love they had now was even more intense than their first love, in a more mature way. It was the type of love that she knew she could count on in good times and bad. The type of love she’d never, ever hide again, for anyone or for any reason. This was true, grown-up love.

“This whole night is beautiful. Thank you, Tony, for not forgetting about me even after I told you to go away. Thanks for loving me.”

He pressed his hands to her cheeks and kissed her. “Babe, I have and always will love you, and I’ll never leave you again, even if you try to push me out the door.”

They embraced, and a long while later Tony retrieved the lanterns from the bag. One paper sky lantern was pale green and the other was white. They looked like regular decorative paper lanterns, but they were much larger, with something square attached by four strings on the open bottom.

Tony held up the white lantern and pointed to the square.

“This is the fuel cell. We’ll light it, and the heat will carry the lantern into the sky. I bought white for my father and green for…”

“For our child.” She didn’t know how those words had come so easily, but as his eyes grew serious, the words felt right, and they no longer scared her. “It was a good choice.”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Should we light my father’s first?”

“Yes.” She drew in a deep breath, feeling more and more like they were doing the right thing. She held the lantern while Tony lit the flame. Then he took the lantern from her hands and held it up to catch the air.

“Do you want to say something?” She settled her hand on his lower back, hoping to offer him the same comforting touch as he’d given her.

The muscles in his jaw bunched and his biceps flexed as he lifted the lantern higher.

“I love you, Dad, and I hope you’re looking down at me and you’re as proud to be my father as I am to be your son.” He released the lantern, and it floated up toward the stars. The wind carried it out over the water.

Amy wrapped her arms around him again. “I’m sure he is very proud of you.”

“Yeah. I think he is.”

Tony kissed the top of her head, then retrieved the other lantern.

“Time to leave the past behind and focus on our future.” She meant every word.

“Our past will always be a part of us. Who knows? Maybe if we hadn’t gone through such a hard time, we wouldn’t be together right now. The world works in strange ways.”

“Can I light this one?” Amy wanted to take an active part in letting the past go and freeing herself from the guilt and pain that came with it. Yes, it would always be a part of them, but it didn’t have to outweigh who they were now or the future they were meant to have.

“Of course.” He handed her the lighter and held the pale green lantern up. When it was lit, he waited for her to hold it with him, and together they waited for the wind to catch it and carry it away. When they felt the pull of gravity, they released their hold, and Tony folded her against his side as they watched it float into the night.

“I’ll never forget what we went through,” Amy said quietly. “But I’ll never hide it or fear it again. I want to honor all the feelings we ever feel from now on.”

Tony nodded. His eyes were damp as he slid a hand in his pocket, then sank to one knee.

Amy glanced down at him, wondering what he was doing. He took her hands in his and smiled up at her.

“Tony?” Her pulse sped up. “What are you doing?”
Holy cow…Are you..
.
?

“Exactly what you probably think I’m doing. What I wish I would have had the chance to do that summer. Amy Maples, kitten, my sweet girl.” He kissed the back of her hands. “Will you marry me?”

Marry you? Marry you! Yes! Yes! OhmyGod!
She lost the ability to speak, could barely remember to breathe.

 “We’ll have the family we were always meant to have. We’ll spend summers here with our kids.”

 She fell to her knees beside him, unable to stand, for her legs had turned to jelly.
Yes, I want to marry you!
She opened her mouth, but what came out wasn’t what she expected. “What about the job, and…?”

His eyes darkened, full of love and hope so palpable it practically reached out and embraced her.

“You can take the job with Duke. I’ll go with you. We’ll make it work.”

“Take the…You…I…” She blinked away tears of happiness. “We’ve only been together a short while and you’d change your life that much for me?”

“We’ve only been together a short while, but we’ve loved each other for a lifetime. Yes, I’ll change everything for you.” He kissed the corners of her mouth, then pressed a soft kiss to the center of her lips, while she sat there, numb, trembling, and elated.

“I don’t want you to put your life on hold for me, babe. You’ve done enough of that to last a lifetime. It’s your turn to follow your dreams, and I’ll support whatever they are. I know we can make this work, even if you work in Australia.” He kissed her knuckles. “Just say yes, and I promise you that we’ll figure everything else out. I’ll make sure your life is amazing.”

“Yes. Yes. Oh God, Tony. Yes!” She launched herself into his lap, bowling them both over as she covered his face in kisses. “Yes.” She kissed him again. “Yes.” And again. “Yes.” And again.

He laughed against her lips and sat up with her in his arms. He took her trembling hand in his and opened his fist, which she hadn’t even noticed he’d clenched. She felt her eyes widen at the sight of the rose-gold square-cut diamond ring in his hand.

“Tony, is that…?”

He nodded and slid it on her finger. It was a perfect fit. “I bought it before I went to see you at your dorm, intending to ask you to marry me.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks.
You were going to ask me to marry you?
“Oh, Tony…” She looked at the ring again. They’d seen it in a little jewelry shop in Provincetown that summer, and she’d said that she hoped when she got married her husband would know to buy her that ring. She couldn’t believe he’d bought it. She could barely breathe past the lump in her throat.

“When my mother gave me the cottage, I put it in the safe. It’s been here ever since, waiting for you.”

She wept openly, unable to speak but wanting to say so much. His mother had given him the cottage the year after his father died. She’d said the memories were too much for her.
 It’s been here for all these years?

“Amy, you’ve made me the happiest man on earth, and I meant what I said. Whatever you decide about work, I’ll be there to support you every step of the way.”

She forced her brain to fire. “What…what about your competitions and…?” She paused to wipe her tears.

“I’ll make it work.”

The truth and worry poured out without her permission. “But I don’t want to live apart while you travel and compete, and if I take that job...” She couldn’t ask him not to compete. What was she saying?

“We won’t, babe. We’ll figure it out. I don’t have to compete in every competition. I’ve won all there is to win. The rest is gravy. Now it’s time for us. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.” He must have seen the question in her eyes, because he added, “Including surfing.”

Honesty was evident in the sincerity of his voice and the depths of his eyes.

“And I know you and the girls wanted to have a group wedding. If you want to get married with them, that’s fine. If you want to go to the justice of the peace tomorrow, I’m in. If you want a big wedding on a tropical island, I’m there.”

“I don’t need a tropical island. A nice quiet wedding on the beach with the girls would be another dream come true.”