SEALs of Honor: Shadow (14 page)

“She’s not interested in Cooper,” Swede said calmly. “Although he might be interested if you aren’t.”

“I thought you said she wasn’t interested.” Shadow could feel his shoulders hunching in on themselves. He hated this stuff. And never did heart to heart – especially not with his buddies.

“If he’s there for her, and you’ve turned her away, then she just might head in that direction. It’s natural to go where you are wanted. She can only keep butting up against the rejection for so long before she turns to another for comfort.”

His gut twisted.

“You’re gonna have to make a decision soon.”

“No decision to make. She’s a senator’s daughter and sees me as her rescuer. Like anyone in her situation, she’s grateful.”

Swede studied him for a long moment. “And you don’t want gratitude, is that it?”

Shadow shot him a hooded look. “Would you?”

“Nope. But I think you’re wrong. I think Arianna doesn’t give a shit about where you are from, or your lineage or lack of it, or that you saved her ass a couple of times, she saved yours a time or two as I recall, I don’t see you bending over with gratitude…” Swede crossed his arms. “I do however think she sees something in you that you don’t see yourself.”

Shadow had already turned to join the others. At Swede’s words, he froze. Slowly, he turned back to face his friend. “What is that?”

He hated that he could hear that tiny bit of hope weaving through his voice. But it was there damn it. Swede would know. He missed nothing. Shadow had been off his mark since he’d met Arianna. Like what was with that? He couldn’t let her distract him so much but thoughts of her filled his mind. Wouldn’t let go.

Swede walked past and reached out to smack him on the shoulder. “You’ll have to figure that out yourself.”

And he refused to say any more.

A
rianna lay down
on the back of the truck, her leg throbbing. Shit. It was better then worse, with the worse part building. She still hadn’t gotten more pain medicine. And she was getting weepy. Was there anything worse?

She already felt so damn female when surrounded by all these macho men. And weepy just seemed to go along with being hurt. She wanted to be strong and capable beside them. Hated to think she was doing her sex an injustice. That all the women in the world were looking at her like she’d let them down. Everything had been good until she got hurt.

Cooper’s head popped over the back seat of the truck. She wasn’t even startled. There were so many men in and out and around always looking after her she never knew who it would be next.

“You okay?”

She nodded but didn’t open her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Liar. The leg is killing you, isn’t it?”

Her lips twisted and she stared up at him. He was seriously gorgeous. Friendly. An all–around nice guy. So why couldn’t she be hooked on him instead of Shadow. Shadow’s darkness called to her. Reached into the deepest part of her and wrapped her heart up in caring and warmth. If only she could do the same for him and wrap his heart up in a loving hug.

Cooper shook out two pills from a bottle and handed them to her, along with a sealed bottle of water. He popped the top as she sat up. She stared at the pills. “I really hate that these help.”

“No point in being in pain if you don’t have to be. Your body needs rest. It can’t heal if it’s fighting the pain. We got to do what we got to do. And healing that leg is important. I wish we had antibiotics for it.”

Shadow appeared at the truck. “We’ve got an antibiotic cream from the store for those scratches of yours though.” He held it up, adding, “It’s not much but it’s something and we need to change that dressing too.”

He disappeared then reappeared with a small medical kit. Cooper shifted back out of the front of the cab. “Let me know if you need any help.”

She stared at Shadow and then the kit and realized what he meant, and her whole body cringed at the thought. “Oh no, Shadow, please not.”

That stare of his didn’t change. Her lower lip trembled. She took a deep breath, feeling the shudder of fear ripple throughout her whole body and regardless of the pain killers she’d just taken her leg started to boom in earnest.

“Sorry, Arianna,” he said. “It’s got to be done.”

She sniffled back the pleas under her tongue. She knew it did. But she didn’t want it to happen at all, didn’t want them to think less of her.

She rolled onto her back, wincing as her leg was jarred, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Okay, I’m ready.”

His regretful sigh filled the truck. At least he wasn’t looking forward to this process either.

In fact, he was so gentle…it surprised her. Her pants were lowered to her ankles, like how embarrassing, and the bandage cut away from her leg. When he lifted the dressing off her skin, she was watching his face, trying to gauge his reaction to her wound.

When he didn’t say anything, she whispered, “How bad is it?”

“Surprisingly good,” he said and glanced up at her. “Are you going to look at it?”

That’s when she realized she’d squeezed her eyes closed. She shook her head. “Nope. It’s going to hurt more if I do.”

“So if you ignore things they don’t hurt you?”

She heard the humor in his voice and realized how silly that sounded. Right. Along with so much else of her attitude and outlook in the world. “It might be silly to you, but if it helps me get through this, then it’s working fine.”

Silence. Not that she cared. She was so focused on not blubbering like a baby this time she barely noticed. Besides, it was getting harder to sense that silence through the rest of the noise. The rest? Damn. She winced inside as she realized the other noise
was
her blubbering like an idiot. Tears pouring down her cheeks and she sniffed like a two-year-old. She’d always been a baby to pain. And here he most likely hadn’t even started cleaning her leg. How totally unheroic of her. So much for wanting to make a good impression. She was acting the same as ever.

Well, it was for the better. Guys like Shadow didn’t want watering pots like herself. She swiped at her eyes and tried to turn off the waterworks. It took a long moment before she mustered up the courage to peek out from under her lashes. He was likely disgusted with her.

Instead, he stood outside the truck and stared at her with such an odd look on his face. A look that said he didn’t know what to do with her. Well, she didn’t know what to do with him either.

But what if that look was about her leg? Maybe he’d lied earlier.

“Is it bad?” she whispered struggling to sit up. “Tell me the truth.”

Immediately he shook his head. “No, your wounds are doing quite well.” Then he shrugged and added, “At least as well as can be expected.”

She frowned. “That means it’s doing terrible.”

He gave her a long look. “I said it was doing well, didn’t I?”

“Sure.” She struggled to sit, bracing herself for fresh tears when the pain hit, but was surprised to find that although it was aching and sore, it wasn’t screaming at her. “But then you couched in terms that meant it would do better under different circumstances?”

“Sure, if you were in a bed and not trying to walk and had maybe a dose of antibiotics in you so as to not be in danger of getting an infection, you know…ideal circumstances. But you aren’t, so given that you aren’t, you’re doing fine.”

She blinked as she tried to process what he was saying. Then gave it up. It sounded reassuring and she was willing to trust him.

Besides, she needed something else from him. And he wasn’t going to give it to her unless he knew she needed it. And he, big oaf that he was, wasn’t going to know unless she told him. Only she didn’t want to have to. “I’d be a lot better if I had one more thing,” she announced expectantly.

“What’s that?”

She gave him a big smile. Surely he’d be able to guess. “I’m sure you can figure it out if you put your mind to it.”

There was that so very predictable frown. With a quick shake of his head, he said, “No, what do you need.”

She sighed and wiggled to the open passenger door so her leg could hang down. Then she opened her arms. Immediately, he stepped forward to help her out of the truck.

Idiot. Sure enough he stepped back as soon as she was standing.

She shook her head. “No. That’s not what I needed.”

At his confused look, she motioned for him to lean down. When he promptly did so, she whispered. “I need a hug, please.”

Instantly, he cuddled her close. Oh happy sigh. It’s not that he didn’t want to, or that he wasn’t willing, he just wasn’t much of a toucher and that was too bad, he was so, so good at it. She let out a big sigh and smiled up at him. He stared down at her, an unreadable look on his face. She smiled. “It’s okay. I’ll keep your secret.”

His eyebrows shot up and a worried look crossed his face. “And what secret is that?”

“You’re an awesome hugger.” She reached up and kissed his cheek.

He shook his head, once again not sure what to do with her easy affection “What was that for?”

“As a thank you.” Her grin deepened, her irrepressible good humor surfacing. “For letting me cry like a baby.”

That brought a grin to his face. “You did much better this time.”

“Right, sure I did.” She rolled her eyes at his nice comment. “At least you’re allowing me to save face. And the others?” She looked around and at not seeing anyone she added only half joking, “Did I scare them away with my bawling.”

“You didn’t bawl,” he said seriously. “You were quiet and tears are allowed. You’re hurt and hurting and sometimes tears are the only answer. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

His words surprised her but so did the warm caring way he delivered them. Much happier, she leaned against his chest just happy to be held. She wasn’t clingy usually but she did love being close to him.

“Besides, most of the men have gone to find someone to talk to from the town.”

“Hopefully, they found lots of people.” She glanced around. “I can’t imagine something like this being ignored.” And that was another reminder. She tilted her head back. “Still no word on my family?”

He shook his head. She sighed. “How am I getting home at this point?”

“Waiting on orders to answer that.”

Her lips curled. “If they are as good at making decisions as the rest of the government it will be Christmas before we get a solid answer.”

He grinned. “True enough. But we’re heading back to California and you’re supposed to go to…where, Oregon?”

She shook her head. “We live in Newport Beach, CA.”

“Really?” His tone held more than surprise in it.

She nodded. “Why?”

He was silent for a long moment then said, “I live at the base. Coronado.”

She gave him a fat grin. They didn’t live that far apart. She’d love to see him after this mess was over. But he had a life there. “I guess you’ll be happy to go home.”

“Always, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ll likely be called out in another day or week or month.”

“Always something needing your attention. My father would say the same for him.”

The two smiled.

“What do you do for a living,” he asked her. “Our files didn’t include much about you.”

“What, not my education, favorite foods, past lovers, or the color of my underwear?” she asked in a mocking voice. “Who knew?”

“Pink.”

She stared up at him in confusion.

“The color of your underwear is pink. You went to UCLA but I don’t think the program you started in is the one you completed and you’ve had past lovers but not the right ones.”

Oh boy. She tried to close her gaping mouth but it was damn hard. She
was
wearing pink panties, and he had no choice but to see them considering he’d removed her pants to clean her leg wound—twice. That he noticed brought a flush to her cheeks. But as for the rest… Oddly enough her mind latched onto the one thing he’d missed and the easier topic to carry forward. “And my favorite food?” she challenged, still trying to figure out what his comment about not having the right lovers meant.

He slanted her a devastatingly cute sideways grin that had her heart racing instantly and said, “Chocolate of course.”

“Damn.”

He laughed. “So what field of study did you complete?”

With a resentful look his way she said, “I’m a teacher. My father wanted me to be a lawyer and follow his footsteps but…” She looked away. “I just couldn’t.”

“Of course not. You’d want to give the victim everything and be devastated when the victim turned out to not be a victim,” he said promptly.

“Well, something like that.” She wrinkled up her nose at him. “I just couldn’t do that type of work. It wasn’t me,” she said, staring back at the long years of fighting with her father. “Father never understood.”

“Of course not. First you were female and second you’re a bleeding heart,” he said, but the words were so full of warm laughter it took the sting out.

“Not in all things,” she protested. “I also don’t get along well with my father or my stepmother.”

“Why would you? They are the opposite of you, aren’t they? They give money because it’s expected of them, a requirement of their social status and to make sure that they attend the most public of functions so that everyone knows they did their duty. You on the other hand probably give money to the local animal shelter and hand over money to the single moms and old folks in the area.”