Scattered Leaves (20 page)

"Your phone's ringing, Miss Wilkens." Alanis told her.
"Phone? I don't know what that is. darlin'. Phones haven't been invented vet." she said and ignored it.
Alanis raised her eyes toward the sky and handed me the barbeque fork. "Turn over the steaks," she told me and started toward the house.
I had never helped make a barbeque. Everything that had been prepared for us outside had always been done by a caterer Grandmother Emma had hired. A staff of at least a half dozen people had done everything, and we'd just gone out to sit at the tables and eat.
"We're having a guest." Alanis cried from the back door. "He just rode into town. so I thought it would be decent of us to invite him. I hope you don't mind. Miss Wilkens."
"Oh, my," Great-aunt Frances said with her hand over her heart, "a guest. Who is it?"
"Captain Stuart Gavin of the U.S. Cavalry. He'll be here in a little while."
"Oh, then. Jordan, why don't you bring out another setting and another steak," Great-aunt Frances said. "I'll put up another potato."
She hurried into the house.
"How can he come here?" I asked. "Didn't he tell us his father told him he had to stay at home?"
"Stuart's father and mother got called away. His father's brother had a heart attack," Alanis told me.. "I told him to put on his cowboy hat. See? If I had asked my granddad if we could invite someone over, he'd say no for sure. Like I told you, we're in charge," she emphasized. "Hey, the steak has to be turned. You're not minding your chores."
She pulled the fork from me and attended to the meat while I went in to get another setting and another steak. Great-aunt Frances was preparing another potato. She couldn't have forgotten what had happened to Stuart Gavin. I thought, or the phone call she had received from Mrs. Browne, yet she hadn't mentioned any of it when she'd heard he was coming.
I truly felt as if I had left the real world, as if I had been placed in a great dollhouse. Alanis was right. We would have no one telling us what we could and couldn't do. If we didn't feel like bathing, we wouldn't. If we didn't brush our teeth, no one would yell. We could eat whatever we wanted, go anywhere we wanted, stay up late, maybe even stay home from school. None of it would make any difference. No one would punish us. The very thought of having a party like this on a school night wouldn't have risked coming into my mind back at the March mansion. It made me feel as if I was in charge of myself. And vet, I felt bad about doing these things. We were taking advantage of Great-aunt Frances.
"Isn't this fun?" she asked me. "'Nothing chases the darkness out of the corners as quickly as smiles and laughter," she added and hurried out with bottles of soda.
Once again. I felt swept along, and followed her with Stuart's place setting and steak.
When he arrived, he stood there smiling at the scene before him.
"Wow," he declared. "This is a picnic."
To explain his arm in a cast. Alanis told Greataunt Frances he had been wounded in a battle with Indians. I could see Great- aunt Frances thought that was perfect. Stuart had no idea what was going on, but he was happy to play along. The potatoes, peas and bread were all right, but the steak turned out so tough that it took forever to chew a piece.
"I was just going to make myself a cheese sandwich for dinner," he said.
We saw Bones hanging back, watching us. The aroma of the meat had made him braver, and he came closer and closer until Miss Puss appeared and raised her back.
"Oh, leave him be," Great-aunt Frances told her cat. She scraped up some meat and brought it to Mr. Marshall's dog.
"What's going on here?" Stuart finally asked when Great-aunt Frances stepped away from the table. "Why are you all wearing the funny clothes and talking like you're in a movie or something?"
"Jordan's great-aunt likes to pretend when she has dinner. It's like being in a play or in a movie. And don't you make fun of it either." Alanis warned him.
Stuart grimaced. "It's weird," he said.
"So, it's weird. You don't think you're weird."
"Don't get so mad. I don't care."
"Besides," Alanis continued. "I've been invited to move in with Jordan. We're going to do lots of things together from now on."
"Move in? You mean, you're going to live here. too?"
"Yes. Stuart, hello. That's what moving in usually means." Alanis sat back smiling. "It's our house now. You can come by when we invite you,
if
you're good, that is. When are your parents returning?"
"Tomorrow. I guess," he said. "We might let you stay overnight.'"
"What? Really?"
"We'll see," Alanis said. "You have to go through a test first," she added.
"What test?"
"You'll see," she said. He looked at me. but I had no idea what she meant.
She leaned over to whisper. "Boys have erogenous zones. too," she said to me and turned back to Stuart. "Jordan and I have a serious science project we've begun. It involves sex. Do you want to be part of it?"
"Sex?"
"Yeah, you ever hear of it?"
"Sure I heard of it. What is the project?"
"You'll see. Maybe. It's a very secret project. We have to be sure you won't go blabbing."
Stuart shrugged. "I can keep a secret as good as anyone else,"
"Maybe," Alanis said. "Don't say anything else about it just now," she warned as Great-aunt Frances returned.
"That poor dog. Do you feed him?"
"He eats scraps every day," Alanis said. "Besides, it's Granddad's dog. He should be worrying about it, not me and my mother."
"Oh, we should all look after each other." Great-aunt Frances said. She sat and looked about with a wide smile across her face. "Isn't it just beautiful here? You can feel like a pioneer living here."
Stuart looked around as if he had never been here. "My dad always said this was a nice property, especially because of the big pond."
"Yes," Great-aunt Frances said. "The pond is special. I used to spend a lot of time just lying in the rowboat and letting the breeze blow me here and there while I looked up at the clouds. You can almost feel yourself falling into them,"
She looked lost in her memories for a moment. We were having a warm September. The leaves of the trees didn't even have a hint of changing colors. The air was perfumed by the rich aroma of the newly cut grass, and it reminded me of the times I'd followed Ian around Grandmother Emma's mansion while he'd searched for interesting insect specimens. Most of the time it had been as if I'd been alone, but sometimes he had gotten so excited about a find, he'd called out to me and I'd come running. Of course, none of it had been interesting to me. but I'd pretended as best I'd been able. I'd been happy for him. He'd have so much to explore here, I thought. Why couldn't they let him come to live
^-
with Great-aunt Frances, too?
She reached out to touch me, as if to be sure I was really sitting there.
"What a sweet child. Look at all the happiness you've already brought. I'm so happy they sent you to be with me. I've got a family again."
I didn't know what to say. Both Alanis and Stuart just stared. "I guess we should clean up," Alanis said.
"Oh, no," Great-aunt Frances said, rising and waving her hands frantically. "Not yet. I have a surprise for dessert. I forgot all about it because it was so deep in the back of my freezer."
"What is it?" Stuart asked quickly.
"An ice cream pie in a graham cracker crust."
"Chocolate?"
"And vanilla, too, with whipped cream on top," she declared. "You kids just sit tight. I'll go get it"
"Hey, I might wanna move in here too," Stuart quipped when she walked into to the house. "Maybe you can get your great-aunt to adopt me."
He sat there smiling like a contented cat. Alanis stared so hard at him that he looked at me and then back at her.
"What?" he asked.
She looked at me and then leaned toward him. "You know what a tadpole is. Stuart?"
"Sure, why?"
"You know you have them living in you, don't you?"
"Get outta here."
She smiled at me. "Stuart's got a lot to learn," she said. "And we'll teach him. You want to learn about sex, don't you, Stuart?"
"What's there to learn?"
Alanis laughed so hard I had to smile. He looked at both of us, and then, not knowing what else to do, he laughed himself.
"Here we go, partners!" Great-aunt Frances cried from the rear house entrance. She carried the ice cream pie out to the table. "Let's eat it before it melts."
Despite the tough steak, we did enjoy our Western picnic. When it was over. Alanis and I. with Stuart helping as much as he could, cleaned up. We told Great-aunt Frances to go watch her television show while we washed the dishes and put everything away.
"This is like having servants again," she declared. "Wouldn't Emma be jealous?"
"Who's Emma?" Stuart asked.
"Jordan's grandmother. Don't ask questions. You have one good arm. Take out the garbage." Alanis told him.
When we were finished, she decided we should go up to what was now our room. Stuart followed, looking frightened and confused.
"Close the door," Alanis ordered, and he did so.
He stood there looking around. "I never was in this house. It's pretty big."
Alanis knelt down and reached under the bed.
"Why do you have a book under the bed?" he asked.
"It's our project workbook," she replied. "We're up to erogenous zones."
"What's that?" he asked.
"Places on your body that when touched get you excited."
He opened and closed his mouth, then smirked skeptically. "What is this, another joke? I know you're up to stuff. Alanis."
"What you know couldn't fill a button hole. Stuart. You're either going to participate or go home."
"Participate? What do I have to do?"
"Just shut up for a moment while I read and think about it:' she said. "We'll all sit on the floor. Go on. You know. I'm really doing this for you and Jordan. I know all about it. I don't need any sex science projects."
Slowly, he sat across from Alanis and me.
She shook her head. "It's not going to work with clothes on."
"What?"
"You have to take off your pants and
underpants at least. Stuart."
"Get outta here. I'm not taking off my clothes in front of you."
She put the book down slowly and turned to me. "Are we doing an important scientific experiment or not?"
I looked at Stuart.
"Jordan?" I nodded.
"Jordan is not afraid to take off her clothes. Stuart. She knows it's important. Jordan." She nodded at me. "Do it or he won't," she whispered.
I looked at him. Do it?
"Just slip off your skirt for starters,'" she added. I still hesitated. No boy except far Ian had ever seen me. without clothes. "It's important or I wouldn't tell you to do it," she insisted. "You'll ruin things if you don't," she whispered. "He's scared. Go on. Do it."
Reluctantly. I stood up and unbuckled the Western style skirt. Stuart's eves widened with surprise when I let it fall.
"See? Jordan's not afraid. Pants. Stuart," Alanis said. He looked at Inc, and then at her, and shook his head.
"Do you want help? Is that it?" Alanis asked. She put the book down and started toward him.
"No," he said, pushing himself backward with his feet. "I don't need help."
"It's no big deal. Stuart. I've seen it many times," Alanis told him. "You like Jordan, don't you?"
"Yeah, but... I don't like you being here, too," he said. "But I'm the teacher. Stuart. I'm the one who's reading the book. You're not ashamed of what you look like, are you?"
"No. That's not it. Look. I'd better go," he said. standing. "My father might call the house and find out I'm gone. It's late_ and it'll be dark soon, and the motor scooter's light isn't too strong."
"I can't believe you're running away, Stuart," Alanis said. "What would your friends say, if you had any friends?"
"I have friends."
"Running away, like some frightened little mouse," she taunted. "I'm not running away. I'll be back when
I
can."
"We might not want you back. Stuart. We might find someone more grown up to participate in our project, someone else who might like to be with us. with Jordan," she emphasized.
He hesitated at the doorway.
"Someone who isn't afraid of sex," she added. His cheeks reddened.
"I told you. I'm not afraid."
She smiled at me, then shook her head at him.
"I'm not."
"All right." Alanis said. "You don't have to be totally naked. Just take off your pants and come sit across from us again."
He considered. looked at me_ and then unbuckled his pants, lowered them. kicked off his shoes, and stepped out of his pants.
Alanis smiled. "Now," she said. "we'll tell you about tadpoles."

You see this?" Alanis asked Stuart, pointing to the picture of sperm. "Tadpoles."
He squinted, looked at me, and then at the picture again.
"They actually swim inside a Girl," Alanis continued. "Don't laugh at me. Stuart,' she said when he started to smile. "I'm reading right from the book."
He looked at it again. She glanced at me, smiled and pulled the book out of his hands.
"They come jumping out when a boy gets excited," she continued. "That's his erogenous zone. Now you get it? How many times you get excited. Stuart? Any boy I let be with me always gets excited. I bet you've gotten yourself excited plenty of times, haven't you. Stuart? You could show us how. It would be like a laboratory demonstration Mr. Beamer does in science class. How about it?"
Stuart's face reddened so brightly that I thought he might go up in flames. He pressed his lips together then suddenly stood up and reached for his pants.
"What's the matter now, Stuart?"
"I gotta go home," he muttered and struggled with his one good arm to put on his pants.
"What are you going to do when you get home. Stuart? Won't it be more fun to do it here with us?" Alanis asked him, smiling at me.
He ignored her and struggled to dress quickly,
"You want us to help? Jordan, go help Stuart put on his pants."
"No," he said. "I can do it."
He twisted and turned and struggled until he got his pants on.
"Don't you want at least to tell us anything about your erogenous zone? We need information for our project, Stuart," Alanis said as he turned to the door. "We don't know about boys, only girls. That's why we asked you to be part of the experiment. We also thought you were mature."
"I am mature."
"Then come back. It's not going to hurt."
"I know," he said. "I gotta go. Thanks for inviting me to dinner," he said. His eyes averted, he rushed out.
"C'mon. Stuart, don't go. Everything you tell us will be kept secret." she called after him.
We heard his footsteps as he pounded down the stairs.
Alanis laughed, "See how easy it is to tease boys. We're going to have lots of fun together now, Jordan. Lots. For now, we don't need him. We've got a lot to talk about ourselves."
She started to look at my book again, then stopped when we heard Great-aunt Frances calling to us as she came up the stairway and down the hallway. Alanis quickly shoved my book under the bed again,
"Put on your skirt. Quick," she urged, and I went off to the side and did it just in time.
"Girls, I saw Stuart leave quickly. Is everything all right?" Great-aunt Frances asked from the doorway. Miss Puss was at her feet, rubbing herself against her ankles.
"He promised his father he would be home early and he just realized how late it was," Alanis told her. She could spin lies as easily as a spider spun a web. I thought, and make them sound perfectly true. Was that a good thing or bad?
"Well, that's a good boy then," Great-aunt Frances said. "I'm going to change and go to bed early tonight myself. I like being around you young girls and boys. but I'm not used to all the excitement. You both did a wonderful job helping with dinner and cleaning up for me. The kitchen looks like no one's been in it. Thank you," she said. "Can I get you anything, Alanis?"
"No, I'm fine. Miss Wilkens. Thank you."
"Well, you two go on with your schoolwork. Just remember to go to bed early. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Women, too, of course. Emma can attest to that. Nothing displeased her as much as my sleeping late or being late for an appointment. She said it was a sign of poor breeding. She made it sound like we were raised to be racehorses or show dogs. She would get so angry at me if I told her that. but I'll tell you a secret," she said, leaning
^,
in and whispering. "I knew she was right. I just didn't want her to know I knew." She smiled and stepped back. "Enjoy your first night together. girls. I so wish I had a girlfriend to stay with me when I was your age, Jordan. I so wish I had a sister who cared," she added and then quickly snapped out of her sad moment. "Sweet dreams,"
She shuffled off.
But a moment later, she was back, poking her head in the door. "Oh. Jordan. did I tell you Mr. Pond called for my sister to see how you were getting along. She wanted to be sure you didn't need any medical attention."
"Why would she?" Alanis asked before I could respond.
"That's my sister. Always thinking and worrying. I told him everything is fine."
She turned and started away again,
"Medical attention? Why would your grandmother think of that?"
"She's that way," I said. I didn't want to get into how she had reacted to discovering how physically mature I was already. "She has to have everything perfect."
"Oh, one more thing." Great-aunt Frances said, returning to the door again, "I asked Lester to bring us more eggs. They should be there before you go down to breakfast."
She shuffled off once more.
"This is no good." Alanis said. "She'll keep poking her head in all night. C'mon," she decided, reaching under the bed for the book and then standing.
"Where?"
"To the basement, our private and special clubhouse. were else?"
She started out.
"Shouldn't we start on our homework?" I asked, looking back at the books on my desk.
"We have plenty of time. Stop worrying." she said. "C'mon."
She started down the hall toward the stairway. I looked at my books again. It was as if
I
could hear them calling to me in Mrs. Morgan's voice,
"Jordan?" I heard Alanis say in a loud whisper, and then I followed her quickly.
"Why do we have to go to the basement to read my book?"
"We have to be careful about your great-aunt. She would never understand what we're doing if she saw us," Alanis said. "She probably forgot what sex is or never knew. The way she is, it might make her hysterical or something and then my granddad might find out and there would be hell to pay."
She opened the basement door and flipped the light switch.
"Quiet," she warned as we started down the stairs. When we reached the second door, she paused.
I
was surprised, because she stood there with her hand on the knob, not moving. Was she changing her mind?
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Be quiet," she said and listened.
Then I heard it, a soft laugh and the muffled voice of a man. "Who's in there?" I whispered.
Alanis didn't answer. She stood there holding the knob and looking frozen. We heard another laugh and then a man's laugh.
"Go back up quietly and turn off the light," she said. "I want it dark before I open this door. Go on." she urged when I didn't move fast enough.
I went up, switched it off, then stood there for a moment. It was so dark. I opened the basement door a little, and that gave me enough light to go down the stairs again. Alanis looked back, thought a moment, then opened the second door very slowly and very slightly. We could just see the sofa. We heard the laughter, and a moment later, we saw Mae Betty dressed only in her panties. She pulled on a man's hand and he came into view. They kissed. It was a long, hard kiss. He ran his lips down over her cheek to her neck and over her naked breasts. She threw her head back, moaned and seemed to sink in his arms.
He scooped her up and placed her on the sofa. Then he stood back and began to unbuckle his belt, laughing as he did so. We could hear her squealing in anticipation.
Alanis closed the door softly and turned away. She didn't say anything. She just started up the basement stairs with her head down. I followed, We stepped out in the hallway and I closed the door behind us. She looked at me. and I saw that the hardness and confidence were all gone. Her eyes were glassy with tears. She sniffed and pressed her lips together. I didn't know what to say. I followed her in silence as we returned to the stairway and back to my room. Once there, she shoved my book under the bed. When she stood up, she slumped and stared at the floor for a moment.
"Who's that down there with your mother?" I asked.
"I'm going to go put some of my things in the bathroom," she said instead of answering me. "You better get started on your homework."
She took her things and left. I went to my desk and opened my books. I started to read the assignments, but
I
kept one eye and ear tuned to the doorway, waiting for her to return. When she finally did, she looked like she had been crying,
"I hope you don't need help with any of that," she said. "I was never a good student."
She went to the bed.
"Which side of the bed you want?" she asked me.
"I don't care."
"I'll sleep on the right," she said and began to undress. She put on a dark dray nightshirt, then crawled under the blanket, turning her back to me. "Don't worry about keeping me up." she said. "Just finish what you have to finish. The light don't bother me. Sometimes. I got to go to sleep while my granddad's still watching television."
Even though she said that. I was uncomfortable working with her in bed trying to sleep. I knew I wasn't doing as well on my homework as I had the night before. because I rushed through it, Afterward. I prepared for bed and put on my pajamas. I thought Alanis was already asleep by the time I crawled under the blanket and turned off the light, but she started to talk as if she and I had been talking all the time.
"I knew that was my mother even before I opened the door. It didn't surprise me seeing her down there. I told her about the basement. I shoulda known she'd go and use it herself. She can't bring a man to my granddad's house. She'd bring one into the barn sooner than that."
"Who was he?" I asked again.
"Anybody," she said. "She thinks she's getting back at my father by being a tramp herself, but she ain't. He's long gone and she's outta his mind for sure. I don't know who started it first. Maybe she did. Maybe that got him started. I don't know."
"Started what?"
"Doing it with other men and women even though they was married."
"Your father womanized," I said. The word came back to me as if Ian had been there whispering in my ear.
"Yeah, he womanized. You know about that, do you?"
"My mother found out my father did it," I said. "That's why they had the fight and my mother wanted to get a divorce."
She turned, "Oh, yeah? What happened then?"
"My grandmother came to see us. We were up in the cabin in the Poconos and she talked my mother into giving my father another chance. We went home with her, and my father went up there to talk."
"To lie to each other some more is all," Alanis said bitterly. "So, they got back together, did they?"
"They were supposed to," I said. 'But that's when they got into the automobile accident. Ian said it was Grandmother Emma's fault, because she called and told them about Ian and the Sister Project. They came rushing home in a storm and crashed."
Alanis was silent so long that I thought she might have fallen asleep.
"No matter who you are or how much money you have, bad things still happen," she said. "If all this bad stuff happened to a girl like you, what chance do I got?"
"Maybe your father will come back for you someday," I said. I wanted her to have hope. She sounded so terribly sad.
"It's no different than your mother being in a coma. He might as well be in ant, too. I ain't holding my breath. and I don't know if I would go off with him anyway. He don't want a girl my age on his tail.
"I'll tell you this," she said after a moment. "as weird as it sounds, your great-aunt even though she's bonkers is nicer than my family.
I
hope she lets me stay here all year."
"She will," I said.
"Yeah, but that chauffeur might not like it and he might tell your grandmother and they'll make me leave."
"I'll tell them you have to stay," I said.
"You would?"
"No lies, no secrets," I said, and even in the dark. I could see her smile.
"Okay," she said. I'll tell you a big secret, and it will be just between us. My best friends don't know it, but you're my best, best friend."
I held my breath in anticipation. What possible secret could she have? Had she done something terrible? Did
I
want to know? My ears cringed in anticipation. If it was something horrible. I wouldn't be able to sleep next to her.
"You ready?"
"Yes," I said weakly.
"I never did it with any boy," she said. "I come close, but never did yet."
"Did what?"
"Did what? You kidding? What have we been talking about? Took some tadpoles into me," she added and laughed. "I swear, you are just a sweet child after all."
She got serious quickly.
"Don't tell anyone what we saw in the basement."
"I wouldn't."
"It's 'cause of her my granddad is so hard on me. He thinks that's the way to keep me from being her. I'll never be her," she vowed.
We were both quiet. I didn't know whom I should feel sorry for more, myself or her. Finally. I decided that as bad as ever thing was for me. I should feel sorrier for her. My mother was in a coma. but I would never say I didn't want to be just like her. I always wanted to be just like her.
Without anyone to love and want to be like, you were really alone. I thought.
Sleep started to seep into my body from every direction. I welcomed it as I would a warm bath on a cold day. I sank quickly into my own safe darkness, just barely hearing Alanis whisper. "Good night."
Both of us forgot to set my alarm clock for the morning, but Great-aunt Frances didn't forget.
"Girls, girls, girls,' she cried at the foot of the bed. "Rise and shine."
Alanis groaned and sat up slowly. "I guess I need Granddad every school morning after all," she said and slipped out of bed. She stood there for a moment looking at me. "Listen," she said, "in the middle of the night. I thought I heard what you said you heard."
"What?"
"Sobbing. It sounded like it was coming from above us. I tried to listen, but I fell asleep. Don't go telling me it's a ghost," she added quickly.
"Well. what is it?"
"I don't know. Maybe you just put the idea in my head. Go on to the bathroom first. I can wait," she said.
I did, but when I came out, she was returning from down the hall.
"My mother never told me what was up here," she said. "There's a whole other bedroom and bath just down the ball."
"That's Grandmother Emma's room."
"So? She ain't here. She's never here, and you said she was in a hospital anyway,"
"Great-aunt Frances doesn't want anyone to use it."
"That's stupid. I already did anyway," she said and marched into the bedroom to finish dressing, "We just won't tell her. Don't worry. I'll keep it clean." she said as she dressed. "Here, put this on," she told me and tossed me her hat.