Scary Package (3 page)

We ate in a companionable silence. Tan had pulled on the shirt he’d been wearing when I got home. It was my favorite one, or one of them, a soft brushed cotton in forest green. Tan looked good in anything, but I liked the contrast of that dark green with his golden skin. It made his eyes an even more intense green, too. Not to mention that it felt good under my hands and molded to his muscles nicely.

I noticed Tan sliding sidelong looks toward the hall from time to time and he seemed increasingly nervous. I knew there was something wrong when he volunteered to wash up and clean the kitchen without me issuing a single threat.

It didn’t take long for me to remember why he was acting that way. His welcome home distraction had been very effective. I had forgotten all about the scary pink parcel from Mom. It must be in the living room. It was probably why he’d shut the door, too.

“Come on.” I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the kitchen when he started eyeing the floor. “The sooner we get this over with the sooner we can go and play in front of the mirror again.”

“The kitchen floor is a bit grubby. I know how important it is to you to keep things clean…”

“You can mop the floor before we play with the mirror, if it is bothering you that much.” I didn’t let go of him when I pushed the living room door open and turned on the light. “Or maybe I can mop the kitchen floor,” I muttered.

The parcel was very pink and very scary. He had opened it on the couch. The two books were to one side of the big gift wrapped box, one of them open to a full color photo I didn’t try to see clearly. The batteries were on the other side of the heart covered box, nestled between two hideously pink boxes that must be the individual gifts.

I dragged Tan over to the couch and then lost my nerve. We stood there staring down at the awful pinkness that had invaded our home. Technically it wasn’t
our
home. It was still my apartment and Tan still had his own a few blocks away. But as he slept here, worked here and lazed about here it was only a technicality to say it wasn’t his home too.

“The sooner we do this…” Tan reminded me, edging slightly behind me as he spoke softly. Maybe he was afraid the gifts were trained to attack on voice activation. Maybe he was right to worry.

“Yes. The one on the right is mine?”

“Yep. The bigger one.” Tan confirmed.

“Lets move the other stuff off the couch and sit down before we open them,” I suggested.

“I could take the big box down to the dumpster, now that it’s empty.” Tan made a grab for the heart covered box.

“Do not even think of leaving this room!” I growled. “You are going to open your present when I open mine. Neither of us are leaving before then!”

“You sure we shouldn’t save them for Valentine’s Day? They are Valentine’s presents so maybe--”

“No! We do it now. You can get the books as you’ve already been exposed to them. I’ll get the box.” I reached out reluctantly to pull the empty box off the couch. Something slithered inside. I dropped it.

“You said it was empty!” I yelled at Tan.

“I thought it was.” He flinched and reached for the box, cautiously tipping it over. A plain brown envelope slid out onto the rug. It had careful printing across the flap “Not To Be Opened Until February 14th”. Tan picked the envelope up by one corner and dropped it on the open book.

I tipped the box over further, but nothing else escaped. I righted it and carefully scooped the packing material back into it. No other surprises appeared. Tan shut the envelope in the book and removed both of the books from the couch. He put them out of sight by shoving them underneath it.

That only left the two gifts and the selection of batteries.

“Sit!” I pointed at the far end of the couch where the books had been and Tan reluctantly sat down. I had to be brave. Other people looked forward to packages from their Mom. They got cookies and stuff. At least I thought they got cookies. I wouldn’t mind getting cookies.

“It might be cookies or candy,” I said out loud and ignored the snort of derision from Tan. I picked up the smaller package and dropped it in his lap. He flinched, but nothing else happened. I pushed the batteries onto the middle cushion and bravely picked up my gift so that I could sit down.

It was heavy. I couldn’t say heavier than I expected because I really didn’t know what to expect. But it was certainly heavier than I had hoped. Heavier than cookies or candy.

“She’s your Mom, you can go first.” Tan offered generously.

“We’ll do it together. You are my boyfriend and shouldn’t make me suffer alone.” I told him picking listlessly at the tape sealing one end of the gift.

“You like making me suffer!”

“You enjoy it. I told you it’s a sign of affection in my family,” I reminded him.

“Your Mom must really love us then,” he muttered.

I couldn’t suppress a snicker at that. I decided to get it over with and ripped the wrapping paper from the box. I could hear paper tearing at the other end of the couch, but couldn’t tear my eyes off the gaudy box in my hands.

“Anal-yzer. Multi-function toy for your every anal pleasure with remote control and realistic come function.” I read with growing horror. My Mom had really gone out and bought me a sex toy, and remembered the batteries.

“She never remembered the batteries at Christmas when I was a kid,” I muttered.

“What is it?” Tan asked in a subdued voice. I tilted the box so that he could read it. “Oh. Are you going to open it?”

“You mean take it out of the box? I hadn’t planned on it. What did you get?” I tore my eyes away from the horror on my lap and looked across at Tan.

“I’m not sure. It promises discrete intimate stimulation, but it isn’t very clear how it will do it.”

“But it probably needs batteries.” I sighed. “I suppose we have to get them out and check that they work. You know she’ll ask when she rings up.”

“We could just lie about it.”

“I’ve never been able to lie to her. She always knows. The best I can do is avoid answering. You can try lying to her if you want, just don’t expect me to be able to back you up.”

“We’ll get them out and insert the batteries. I don’t think I’ve ever had to read the instructions for a sex toy before.” Tan sounded really offended by the idea of reading the instructions. He had the rather chauvinistic and foolish notion that instructions were for wimps and women. I’d always thought that people who didn’t read the instructions were sub-human morons. It was one of those areas that we had agreed to differ on. Well, sort of agreed to differ, unless either of us came across something to support our particular view. Like sex toy Valentine gifts from my Mom.

I really didn’t want to unpack the Anal-yzer or read the instructions. A sideways glance at Tan showed him with a lapful of straps and wires. Maybe the Anal-yzer was a better bet.

I opened the box and followed Tan’s example by pouring the contents into my lap. I didn’t have any straps or wires, which was good. I did have a bulbous penis-shaped thing, a remote control, a small bottle of lube and an equally small bottle of sex toy cleaner. I checked that there was nothing left in the box and threw it into the big heart covered box on the floor, then retrieved it. I didn’t want the gaudy cardboard anywhere near something that might be traced back to me.

I poked through the items on my lap until I found the instruction leaflet. It had a post-it note stuck on the front of it. I growled at the offensive message.

I checked that everything worked before I sent it, but it is all brand new and unused other than that. In case you were wondering.

I thought this would be better than that stick you normally have up your ass!

Enjoy!

Mom and Dad

“What’s the matter? Or shouldn’t I ask?” Tan looked at me enquiringly, a tangle of straps with worrying lumps hanging from one hand.

I reached across and slapped the post-it on his forearm without answering him. I went back to the instructions and ignored him snickering as he read it. The Anal-yzer was more complicated than it looked. I found the labeled diagram and looked from the line drawing to the multi-colored fake penis and back several times. I was going to have to pick it up to insert the batteries. I gritted my teeth and got on with it.

The next instruction was inserting the battery in the remote control. The picture was not very detailed. I dropped the Anal-yzer and found the remote control. I turned it over and slid the flap open without too much difficulty. It needed a pair of large cell batteries. I waited for Tan to finish sorting through the batteries for the ones he needed, keeping my eye on the ones I wanted. If wanted was the right word for it. I put them in and closed the cover.

The next page had a diagram of the remote control. It didn’t look anything like the one in my hand. Typical. I was going to have to use the Tan-method and just press buttons to figure out what they did. I jabbed at a few without any response from the Anal-yzer. Maybe it had broken in transit.

I flipped through the rest of the instructions. It sounded almost interesting, if it hadn’t been chosen by my Mom. It was a cross between a dildo and a butt plug with a built in vibrator, hence the remote control. It had an optional lube reservoir which pumped lube out of the tip.

I put the instructions down and picked up the Anal-yzer. It was longer than my hand and made up of a series of ball shapes connected by narrow necks. The top one had a blunt point on it with a hole in the middle that must be where the lube came out. Each ball was a different color which shaded into the next down the neck. Making it a rainbow. Yech. The instructions claimed that the different colors were an aid to user comfort. The lube reservoir was shaped like a real pair of balls and even had a crinkly surface, but it was completely squishy like one of those stress balls. It slid into place on the base of the Anal-yzer, after you had connected the distribution tube.

I poked the remote control again, but still nothing happened. I put the Anal-yzer down and decided to risk checking what Tan had been given. He seemed to be playing cat’s cradle with the contraption. I found his instructions and helped him sort it out. The easiest way was for him to put it on, I convinced him.

It took me a few minutes to get him into the contraption and comfortable. I strapped the belt around his waist first, like the instructions suggested, with the strange loop hanging from the front of the belt. I slipped the loop between his legs and up between his ass cheeks and hooked the strap to the battery pack at the back of the belt. I carefully adjusted the strap at the front to position the top of the loop just above his cock. I eased his cock through the generous loop and twisted it once so that it was a figure of eight then scooped his balls through the second loop. I moved around to his back to tighten the strap there and smooth the end of the loop between his cheeks.

I tightened everything a fraction more and sat back to check how it looked. It looked rather weird and not very sexy, even with Tan’s cock at half-mast from my work.

“It doesn’t work,” Tan announced, sounding rather disappointed as he jabbed at buttons on his own remote control.

I picked up his instructions and flipped to the remote control page. The picture there looked slightly familiar, even though Tan had kept a jealous guard on his remote and wouldn’t let it out of his hand.

I have a suspicious nature. I grew up with my Mom after all. I reached for the remote I’d found in the Anal-yzer box. I looked from the remote to Tan’s instructions and nodded to myself. I poked a few buttons. Tan yelped and his cock sprang to attention.

“Seems like it does work,” I told him rapidly poking as many buttons as I could, both on the remote and on Tan’s body.

“Shit! No! Yes! Mm. Ah. Eek.” Tan spluttered in rapid succession.

I turned the remote down to a gentle stimulation designed to give prolonged pleasure. Or at least that’s what the instructions claimed. I picked up the Anal-yzer and looked at the remote in Tan’s hand. He uncrossed his eyes and caught on. Eventually. The Anal-yzer hummed into life. It packed quite a buzz at full power.

“We are going to have to use these, aren’t we?” I sighed and looked up past Tan’s happy cock to his face.

“I think we really have to,” he agreed solemnly. “And soon!”

“Fuck.” I gathered up the relevant bits for the Anal-yzer and headed for the bedroom. Tan grabbed some more towels from the hall closet as he followed me, almost treading on my heels.

I really hate it when Mom knows best!

End.

If you liked this book you might like: Persistence Pays by Mara Ismine – How Asa and Tan got into a relationship with a little help from Asa’s Mom.

A Scary Package

Copyright © 2011 by Mara Ismine

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Printed in the United States of America.

Torquere Press, Inc.: Sips electronic edition / February 2011

Torquere Press eBooks are published by Torquere Press, Inc., PO Box 2545, Round Rock, TX 78680