Scary Dead Things - 02 (24 page)

The thing is, while we guys are envious of our fellow brothers’ prowess in hooking some of the hotter fish in the sea, there's usually no hatred going on there. It’s more of a ‘
good for you, man! Hope to be there myself one day
’ kind of vibe. However, judging from the looks I had been seeing, it's different for women. Let’s face facts: no guy is going to be jealous of another guy who happens to be dating what appears to be a shaved ape. Women, on the other hand, seem to have this hatred for each other, no matter what they have by their side. Sally was a looker, and the other women hated her for it; however, Sally also had me walking by her side, which only seemed to increase this scorn. No matter what I looked like, they appeared to be flirting with me for no other reason than to try to take me away from her. Damn, that's cold.

On the other hand, there is the simple math of it all. Me plus Sally equals me looking more desirable. Note to self: hang out with Sally a
lot
more.

Anyway, the flirty (
towards me anyway
) counter girl rang up our order and then announced the bill. “Wow,” was all I could say for a moment. “Are you sure we can't check out that clearance rack at Sears?”

Sally turned to me and gave a super slow eye-roll. Then she pulled her wallet from her purse. “Do they pay you in peanuts at that job of yours? No, don't answer that. I
suppose
, since I had a hand in this, I can help you out this one time.” She pulled a card out of her wallet and handed it to the girl. Wait...was that...? The girl swiped it and handed it back. Yes it is! Holy shit, I've never seen one of those. I grabbed Sally's hand before she could put it away again and held it up before me.

“You have a black Amex!?”

“You might want to say it a bit louder. I'm sure there are one or two people on this floor who haven't heard you,” she snapped back.

“I didn't even know those were real.”

“They are, just not for people like you.” She put it away and started to take the bags off the counter.

“Where did you get it from?”

“American Express, obviously,” she quipped, starting to walk from the store.

“No shit! I meant...like...how?”

She stopped and turned towards me. “It's not exactly rocket science. I manage all of the coven's finances. It has its perks.”

“Wait a second. That's a coven black Amex?” I asked, an idea forming in my head.

“Fitting color for creatures of the night, if you think about it.”

“No, I mean that's attached to coven funds, right?”

“I suppose so,” she replied

“And I'm coven leader, aren't I?”

She suddenly narrowed her eyes at me. “What are you getting at?”

“My turn,” I said, grabbing her by the hand and leading her back into the bowels of the mall.

“Where are we going?”

“Shopping,” I answered. “Dr. Death needs himself a few new toys.”

* * *

OK, so the mall was a horrific experience overall; however, I had a brand new
Playstation
and a whole bunch of new games to go with it. That should go a long way towards soothing any hurt feelings amongst my roomies regarding Gan (
and the broken TV
). It's about time I got something out of this whole vampire thing. Sure, it might be hard to play with the TV currently being busted, but I figured baby steps and all. I can’t be expected to figure everything out, now can I?

Anyway, Sally and I were on our way back to the loft. “Care to stop for a coffee?” I asked while we walked through SoHo, bags full of clothes and games at our sides.

“Make it an Irish coffee, and you're on. Shopping always works up a thirst,” she answered.

There was a nice little outdoor bistro that was on our way. They made some pretty decent drinks. Sure, I absolutely hated SoHo and nearly everything and everyone in it, but just this once I could make an exception and maybe pretend I was somewhere else. Having just experienced an early Christmas had put me in a surprisingly chipper mood.

Thus I should have expected something to happen to spoil it. I just never expected
her
to be the one to do it.

As we approached the cafe, Sally started talking about something else. I think it may have actually been important. I vaguely heard the words
Gan
and
assassins
mentioned, but the rest was completely burned out of my memory.

Sally took a step or two before realizing I had stopped. She turned and noticed the gaping mouthed look I was giving. I’m sure she said something or made some gesture in return, but she might as well have been invisible at that moment.

Seated at one of the bistro's tables was Sheila, AKA she who I could neither get out of my thoughts nor speak to about them, no matter how hard I tried. She was dressed in conservative business attire, but lets face facts: to me, she looked like she had just stepped out of a dream (
and not one of my nasty dreams either
). However, that wasn't what had stopped me dead in my tracks. It was
who
she was sitting with. She was sharing a drink - and a laugh, too, by the looks of it - with Harry Decker, the fucking VP of marketing from my company. Goddamn it! Goddamn it all to hell!!

Of all the women in my workplace, how dare that smug asshole put the moves on
mine
? I saw red, literally. The rage I felt at the mall was nothing compared to what I suddenly felt bubbling up inside of me. It must have been radiating off me in waves because Sally took a step towards me with actual concern in her eyes. I have never before felt such immediate anger well up inside of me. Within the space of a moment, it had consumed my being. I could feel my fangs and my claws (
finally got them to work!
) extend. My eyes went black, and then it went beyond even that. I could feel myself...not even sure how to describe it. I suddenly didn’t feel like me anymore. I didn't know what was happening, but Sally's eyes suddenly widened in surprise. Her concern was no matter, though. The beast that was inside of me, the one that I had been able to control for so long, was finally tearing free of its tethers.

And then Sheila looked in my general direction.

Oh shit
! I panicked and did the only thing I could think of...adopt a tried a true movie cliché. I grabbed Sally, spun her around so that my back was to the cafe, and planted a big kiss on her lips.

She stiffened in surprise, but I didn't let go. I held on to her and steered us towards a little alley that we had been walking past. Once I was sure that we were out of sight of Sheila and her asshole date, I let Sally go. She had a look of utter shock on her face. I figured it was best to break the ice before things got even more awkward, so I went with my norm, meaning something smart-ass. “Sorry about that. I know you usually charge guys in advance for that sort of thing.”

That snapped her out of it, and within a moment she was back to being Sally again. She replied, “Great. Now I'm gonna need a rabies shot.” Having gotten out a quip at my expense, reality quickly sank back in and she took a step back and eyed me warily.

“What was that?” she asked.

“Sorry. I saw someone I know and kind of panicked.”

“Not that!
You
. You...
changed
,” she said in a small voice.

Guess I hadn't imagined it. I looked down at my hands; they were back to normal. Likewise, I could feel that all the other vampiric stuff had receded as well. That was good. I had been starting to feel scary there for a second or two. I shrugged back at Sally. “No idea. But looks like whatever it was is over.”

I slunk over to the edge of the alley and peered around. Sheila and Harry were still seated. She hadn't seen me after all. That was good. I would never want her to ever see me like that. Sorry for all you fairy-tale love story junkies, but I just don't believe in bullshit like
Beauty and the Beast
.

A few seconds later, I could feel Sally peering over my shoulder. “What are you looking at?”

“Never you mind.”

“Come on. Tell me,” she said.

“No.”

“Tell me, or I'll make a scene,” she insisted. “I brought my rape whistle.”

I sighed. Yeah, things were back to normal. “I'm looking at Sheila,” I admitted.

“What's a Sheila?”

I pointed her out to Sally. She stepped out of the alley to get a closer look, at which point I immediately grabbed her arm and dragged her back.

“Do you want her to see you!?” I snapped.

“So what if she does?” she pointed out. “I don't know her.” Damn, sometimes I hate logic.

“Yeah, well
I
do,” I hissed defensively. A little too defensively as realization dawned in Sally's eyes.

She gave me a big, wide grin. “You
like
this girl.” When I didn't answer, she added, “No. You
really
like this girl.”

“I just...know her,” I stammered back unconvincingly.

She took another look around the corner. “She's kind of cute...I guess,” she sniffed. There was that female pissiness rearing its ugly head again. Men had the whole band of brothers thing going on. Women...well, without us around to stop them, I'm pretty sure they'd all happily claw each others' eyes out. Unfortunately, though, I had too much of my own pissiness going on at the moment to worry about that.

“She is not
kind of cute
!” I snapped. “She is absolutely beautiful.” OK, maybe that wasn't exactly as subtle as I had meant it to be. I saw the look Sally was giving me back. “
Fine
. Maybe I do sort of like her a bit.”

“No shit, Romeo,” she replied, looking again. “Who's the guy she's with?”

“Some asshole VP from my company.”

“He's not exactly hard on the eyes,” she purred.

“You're not helping.”

“Good for her, though. Climbing the old corporate ladder.”

“
Really
not helping!” I hissed.

“OK, OK, sorry,” she said, backing off. “So what are we doing standing here?”

“I'm trying to think of what to do,” I said, peering back around the corner again. I looked hard at Decker and could feel that rage starting to build up inside of me again.

“What do you mean?”

“About
him
.”

“What about him?” she asked.

“I think we need to kill him,” I said flatly.

“Excuse me?” she said, a tone of surprise in her voice.

“You heard me,” I growled, continuing to look. I could feel that my fangs had extended again. “You have your cell on you?”