Saving Us (9 page)

"Damn. Mom, I'm sorry it ever happened. I guess it's good I moved away from my friends. Seems like none of them have changed much."

She shook her head. "John comes home once a week saying how one of your buddy's got themselves in trouble again."

I laughed and looked over at John, who was watching us. He gave me a nod. "He really makes you happy?"

She looked over at him and smiled. "He'll never be your daddy, Conner, but yes, he makes me happy and I love him. Son, you need to live every day like it could be your last. You never know when your time is up. If you love that girl, you make sure she knows it every single day. You hear me?"

I kissed her forehead. "Yeah, I hear ya. I don't think that's goin' to be a problem. Last night we felt the baby movin'. I don't think I've ever felt so happy about anything."

Amy walked over to us and hugged my mother. "I want to feel my grandchild. You let me know when he starts kicking."

she smiled and looked over at me. I watched her touching her belly. It was still small, but somehow she was showing just enough for me to notice. I loved when she touched her stomach. It made me feel like she was already protecting our child. Amy was going to be an awesome mother. I needed to get that house built fast.

We sat down and all started eating. The kids were being kids. They still didn't know that the witch story was a movie and that they weren't going to come through the woods and steal children. Ty probably had something to do with that. I swear, he tortured people even when they didn't know it was happening. Once everyone got quiet, I put my fork down and cleared my throat. "So mom, did you set a date yet?"

I hadn't exactly talked to her about my plans to build a house in North Carolina. Sure, I'd mentioned it, but she didn't know that Ty's dad had deeded me five acres to do it. Plus I had taken my lunch break one day last week to apply for the building permit.

"We were talking about this summer. Why?"

"I was hopin' John could come give a hand once we break ground on the new house. Amy's goin' to be popping that baby out sooner than we know it. I need my family to have a place of our own. The permits will be in as early as next week. This shit is happenin'."

The room filled with celebration. Since I'd kept it from Amy, she looked shocked. I had this dream of blindfolding her and carrying her up to our wrap around porch. Things didn't always go as we planned them though.

She started to tear up and I wiped the first ones as they fell down her pretty cheeks. "Don't cry. Ain't this what you want?"

She nodded. "It's all I want Conner. I can't believe you went and did this on your own."

I chuckled. Ty leaned over. "I was with him. Does that count?"

My sister smacked him and smiled. "You little sneak. You didn't even tell me."

Ty looked at my sister. He put his arm around her. "It's a guy code thing. You wouldn't understand, baby."

"Guy code is when you don't sleep with someone your buddy dated. You punk." She shook her head and chewed on a piece of bacon.

"Yeah, I asked him to be quiet about it. I've been savin' all of my money and the bank is goin' to lend me the rest. I got a first time buyers loan and my rate is low. With all of your help, I reckon we can get it done fairly quick."

Amy's arms wrapped tightly around my waist. We were sitting at the table, in front of my whole family, but I hugged her back and appreciated her happiness. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

I kissed her on the head. "Only you, Blaze. This is all for you."

"You can count on me bein' there cuz. John and I can ride out together," Colt interrupted my private little moment with Amy.

"I can go with Amy and Miranda to pick out inside stuff," Van offered.

"Damn, I guess I will babysit," Ty joked.

"I can babysit, daddy." Bella was so cute. I think she was serious, even though she was way too young for three babies.

"I think we will need an adult helper. Maybe Mimi can babysit with you," Ty suggested.

Bella nodded. "Yeah, Mimi can help me."

We all laughed.

We spent the rest of the morning sitting around talking. Colt and John agreed to come the weekend after we laid the foundation. I would have to contract that part out, so it made sense that we start framing a week later, after the inspections were done. Originally, I had planned on building a pole building first, to store everything in, but we were running out of time. It wasn't that I minded having our baby while we lived with my sister. I just wanted to take our baby to our own home.

While the rest of my family went to my father's grave, Amy and I stayed behind. I took her on a golf cart cruise of the ranch. I think she was shocked at how big the place was. Her favorite part was my aunt's house. She stared at the pool and couldn't believe how beautiful everything was. I showed her the barn that we fixed up for Colt and Van's wedding. She also enjoyed seeing the horses and other livestock on the farm itself.

Later in the afternoon, we went out to the old tire swing. It was far back in the woods in this clearing. The swing hung from an old willow tree that had doubled in size since I was kid. My uncle hung the swing when we were about eleven, but Colt replaced it for Noah a couple years back.

Amy sat inside the tire and I swung her on it. "This place is unbelievable, Conner. I dreamed of this when I was a child. It's perfect."

"Yeah, it's beautiful, but it doesn't feel like home to me anymore."

"Are you sure you don't regret leaving everything here? It's just so much."

"I know where I need to be. I will live wherever you are." I stopped the swing and stood in front of her. She wrapped her legs around me. "Ever made love under a willow tree?"

She giggled and then realized that I was serious. "Someone might see us?"

I could have told her that nobody had caught me doing it before, but that was my past. "I don't care who sees us. I want you."

"I don't know. I feel silly. You've probably done this before." She giggled.

She knew me too well. "Amy, since you're the only woman that I have ever made love to, I reckon everything is new to me. Are you goin' to take off your pants, or do I need to do it?"

I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I wanted her naked and it was going to happen, right here, under this tree.

Chapter 11

Amy

Maybe I had overreacted regarding the whole Amber thing. That girl pressed the wrong buttons with me. I didn’t want to doubt Conner, especially after all of the things he did for me in the past year. Making love under the willow tree was almost whimsical. Being outside, out in the open, and sharing our emotions was so intense. I think after feeling the baby moving,  our feelings went into overdrive. Conner’s excitement sent me into a frenzy of happiness. I loved sharing it with him.

As we lay there under that beautiful tree, I felt Conner playing with my hair. We were both looking up at the long branches, feeling the cool evening whisking in. I’d manag
ed to put on my bra and panties before getting comfortable in Conner’s arms again. I had no clue if someone had seen us, but I would rather have been safe than sorry.

“Have you given any thought to names?”  Conner’s question caught me off guard. I turned to look at him.

“Why? Have you?”

He smiled and lifted our hands up to the sky. The beams of setting sun shone through our fingertips. “I have a few I like.”

I smiled just thinking about my big, strong man who already cared so much about our tiny baby. “Are you going to share?”

He let out an air filled laugh. “I don’t know. I think I might just keep it a secret for a while.”

I rolled over on half of his chest and put my head up to face him. “You can’t talk about it and then not tell me. Come on with it. I want to know what names you like.”

He laughed even more. “Blaze, you know how much I like it when you get all roused up? I think I am goin’ to hold out until you can’t stand it anymore.”

“That’s not fair. We need to agree on it. I’m not going to let you name our child Amos or Betsy.”

“Damn, how did you know they were my favorites?” He teased.

I fell on top of him laughing, giving up on the topic for now. “I like it here, Conner.”

He wrapped his arms around my back and held me close to his chest. “It’s peaceful, that’s for sure. It ain’t like you have to worry about Rick while we’re here.”

I hated hearing Conner say Rick’s name. Maybe it was just the fact that we still had to deal with the asshole. “I wish it could be like this all the time.”

“I’ll admit, I do love bein’ home, but I also have  history here that I do
n’t want to revisit. Too many skeletons are lingerin’. I don’t think you’d be able to handle them knockin’ on our door every day.”

“Are you being serious right now? How many is it?” Did I really want to know the answer? Would it change the way I felt about this magnificent man?
I didn’t think it was possible.

“I didn’t keep count.” He scrunched his face up, and backed away, like I was going to hit him or something.

“Give me a rough estimate. Ten…twenty…a hundred…five hundred?”

He shook his head and kept laughing.

“Now I have to know. Just tell me. How bad can it be?”

“Didn’t we just have a nice afternoon? Can we not talk about this right now? Damn woman, you know how to spoil a mood.”

I poked at his chest. “You are not changing the subject on me, mister. Just come out with it.”

“No!”

I laughed, but he never cracked a smile. Suddenly, I started to realize that maybe he really didn’t want me to know. Of course it made me even more curious. “Babe, I’m not going to stop loving you because of your past. We all have skeletons.”

“Mine could fill a damn cemetery, Amy. Please, I just don’t want to discuss it. There were several times where I can’t even hardly remember bein’ with them. Before I met you, I didn’t give a shit about names, or favorite colors. I fucked for fun and it was with
whatever fine looking chick I wanted. Is this what you want to hear?”

I grabbed both sides of his face and looked into those green eyes. Yes, it hurt me to hear, but the fact that he’d told me was more important. Conner trusted my love for him. “I want to know everything about you, you stubborn ass.”

“I’ll tell you something that I ain’t never told another woman before. You are the only woman who has ever made me chase her. You are the only one who fought me tooth and nail on bein’ with me. I knew you wanted it, but damn if you kept your distance. You made me crazier than I have ever been. When I look into your eyes, I see my future, but still, I would have kept pushing until I got into those panties.”

Obviously, he felt that if he would act cocky, I would think it was cute. “No, I really did think you were an ass. You were a very sexy ass, but still an ass.”

“Do you think I’m goin’ to be a good father, Amy?” That there was the only thing that would get me off of the current topic. I could hear the sincerity in his voice.

“Of course. Why would you even ask me that? You make me feel safe and loved. Do you really think I would have left everything to be with someone that was a loser?
I’ve been hurt too much in my life to go through that again. Why do you think I fought you so much? I knew I wanted you, Conner, but I couldn’t let myself have you. I knew I’d want more and more until I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I saw through that tough façade pretty quickly. Maybe it was even the night that we didn’t sleep together. You seemed so concerned about my welfare and you didn’t even know me. Our baby is going to fill that void in your heart that aches for your own father. I know it’s still there, lingering. I’d have to be blind to not see it. You are a beautiful man. Sure you have a sketchy past. Combine that with your cocky vanity and you can be damn near the king of all douches. I saw past it all, and for me, there was no turning back.”

He giggled and brushed a piece of hair away from my eyes. “Did you rehearse that?”

A cackle escaped my throat. “No, I meant every word.”

“Usually women like me for being an asshole. I never got it, but I also never complained. Don’t be tellin’ anyone that I have a soft side. I can’t let somethin’ like that get out.” He smiled so wide that all I could see was his white teeth. He knew he was saying something funny and that it would drive me up a wall.

“Far be it for the mother of your child to cock-block you. I wouldn’t want you having to suffer at all.” I was joking, but somewhere in my mind I had to wonder if he was being a little serious. I’d let myself fall so deeply in love with this man. It would kill me if he left me for someone else.

“As long as you keep bendin’ over, we ain’t goin’ to have a problem.”

Bend me over…

I sat up on my knees and looked down at him. The things he said still shocked me sometimes. I fell in love with this cocky side and a
part of me never wanted it to go away, but another part of me feared that it could attract other women. The fear of losing him was real and with my hormones making me think crazy things, I just didn’t want to imagine it. “You really know how to charm a girl. I used to want a real cowboy, but now, I think it was just not as good as I had imagined.”