Saving Us (8 page)

I felt my blood boiling at the way she reacted when Miranda announced who I was and that we were expecting. My stomach started to feel upset, so I stood up to head to the restroom. Conner came up behind me and spun me around, just before I reached the ladies room door. "Blaze, it ain't like you're thinkin'."

"Guilty conscious?"

He scrunched up his face. "I would have introduced you myself."

I cocked my eyebrow and felt myself getting defensive. "Are you sure about that? I didn't even see you look back at me until your sister spoke up. Maybe you don't want any of your friends knowing you have me back at home."

He pressed me against the paneled wall. "Don't say that. It ain't true and you know it. You know what's important to me."

"Do I? Maybe you should have left me home so you could hang out with your old friends. Is that what you call it here? Is it called hanging out, or hooking up?" His eyes got huge. When he turned around to calm down, I slipped into the bathroom. Knowing he was probably coming in, I locked myself in a stall and started to cry. I hated being over-emotional. I wasn't the type of person to be that way in public. When I heard the bathroom door open, I shook my head. "Conner, just go away. I don't feel like talking to you right now. Just go out tonight and have a good time like I know you want to."

A female started laughing. "At least you know what the man really wants."

I'd had just about enough of this bitch. I kicked open the stall door and looked right at her. "I think you must have me mistaken. I'm not one of those girls who gets offended by shit jealous bitches
say. You don't know anything about me and Conner."

She raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her chest. As she spoke, her head moved with a sassy attitude. "Listen here, you're the one whose wrong. Conner Healy is a ladies man. I don't
know what he's been tellin' you, but he doesn't settle down. He loves to fuck. Trust me, I know. I just don't get how you got pregnant. He must have been pretty fucked up when you were together. I mean, he's always so safe. Props to you for tryin' to trap him with a kid. Too bad he won't stick around to raise it."

Before I could lift my hand to slap the bitch, Miranda came flying into the bathroom. She got right in between us. "What did you just say?"

Amber didn't back away. She put her face right up into Miranda's. "Look what the bitch drug in. Little Miss Kentucky slut herself. Stay out of this, Miranda. I'm just tellin' the girl the truth about her boyfriend."

I couldn't help the tears that were falling down my face. My heart was beating so fast and I felt dizzy.

"No, Amber, you can say whatever you want about me, but you're wrong about my brother. He had to leave Kentucky to be free of all you little bitches, but when he did, he met someone and fell in love. You don't know shit!"

"Coming from someone who married her cousin. Is that all you could get after you fucked the whole state?"

In an instant, Miranda had her hand around the girl’s neck. Van came into the bathroom and took in the situation. She rushed over to Miranda's defense and pried Amber away from her. While standing in between them, she held her arms up. "What the hell? Act like ladies!"

Miranda straightened her hair in the mirror, then looked back toward Amber. "My husband is not related to me, not that I give a shit what you think. He's the best father I could ever ask for. You'll never find someone like him that loves you like that. As far as my brother goes, he waited a year to be with her. He went through hell just to be in her life. That baby she is carrying is all he talks about. Maybe you should think about growing up yourself, since you seem to think you are still seventeen and all."

"Oh, please spare me. It's only a matter of time before he gets bored." Amber kept smiling as she talked.

Miranda grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom. When I looked back I saw Van following close behind. We got to the table and everyone looked up as Miranda grabbed her purse. "Ya'll enjoy your dinner. Us girls are goin' home. We'll take the kids with us."

I said nothing to Conner. In fact, I couldn't even look at him. I didn't want him to see the hurt in my eyes. I shouldn't have come with him. I should have stayed home and went to work like usual. Maybe in some ways I was living a fairytale. How long was Conner going to want me until he'd get bored? What would happen if I gained a bunch of weight? I couldn't expect him to be miserable. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. Loveless marriages are worse than living with your enemy. It's too much stress.

Even on the way home I couldn't contain the tears. The boys were crying, while Christian screamed random sounds. Noah and Bella were watching a movie, not paying attention to anything. Miranda and Van were in the front. I could tell Miranda was pissed. She wouldn't stop talking about that girl Amber. I guess I wasn't used to such girl drama. The tears continued to fall, even after we arrived back at the ranch. I could feel my phone vibrating in my purse, but refused to look at it. I was hurt and confused.

I think the girls wanted me to come back to Van's with them, but I climbed out of the SUV and thanked them for being there for me. I waved as they pulled away and went into the house. Even walking into Conner's bedroom made me upset. I plopped down face first onto his bed and let go. His covers smelled of him and all I wanted was to be back at home and in his arms where I had always felt so safe.

After it had gotten dark and a good hour had passed, I went in and ran myself a bath. I was laying in the tub with my eyes closed when I felt the strangest feeling. This flutter feeling was tickling my stomach from the inside. Miranda had told me that I would know it when I felt my baby for the first time. I sat right up in the tub and held onto my stomach, just waiting for it to happen again. Sure enough, after a couple of moments, I felt the flutters again. This time, I could feel them very faintly against my hand. I was over
five months and should have felt this much sooner. Maybe I just hadn't relaxed enough to notice. I guess I could have felt it and thought it was just gas, but this was very obvious.

I laid in the tub feeling my tiny little baby moving around inside of me. Different tears filled my eyes. It was like my baby was reminding me what was important. This trip was about family and love. It wasn't about Conner's past or the friends that were still too consumed with their immaturity to notice a changed man
when they see it. I knew Conner's love was real. I'd been foolish to even consider that it wasn't.

I climbed out of the tub and got dressed before grabbing my phone out of my purse.

I had seven messages from Conner.

What happened?

Why did you guys leave?

That girl meant nothing, Blaze. I swear it.

Please call me

I'm getting worried about you. Randa said you went back to Mom’s alone. On way home now.

I heard the door opening and sat the phone down on the bed next to me. Conner flew into the room and looked right at me. "What the hell happened?"

I shook my head. "Nothing! Don't even worry about it."

"The hell I ain't. You just got up and left. Are you pissed about Amber? Is that it?"

I held up my hands and could feel the baby moving around again. "Conner, please! I don't want to talk about it."

"What did she say to you? Amy, it was a long damn time ago. I never lied to you about my past. You told me it didn't matter. Now you're changin' your mind."

I stood up and looked right at him. "No, I'm not! I'm sorry that I wasn't prepared to run into one of your ex's."

"She ain't an ex. I just fucked her a couple of times."

I could feel the bile making
its way to my mouth. I hated when he said it like that. "Just shut up! I don't want to hear about it."

"If you can't handle hearin' about my past, then why are you even with me?"

His words were cold and defensive and after feeling upset from before, this only added to my emotional breakdown. I covered my face with my hands and cried harder. When I felt Conner's hands wrapping around me, I didn't fight him. As disgusted as I was, I just wanted to feel him this close.

"Darlin', I can't change things. You have to know that you're all I want. Everyone has a past. I ain't that proud of mine, but if I didn't have a fucked up past, I would have never found you. I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it would be right now."

I pulled away from him so I could see those beautiful green eyes. "I want this."

He kissed my forehead and pulled me against his chest again. "It ain't like I would have let you walk away. You know I get what I want, Blaze."

I finally relaxed enough to let myself laugh at his sarcasm. When I sat down on the bed, I grabbed his hand and pulled him down with me. "There's something I want you to feel."

I placed his hand on my belly and laid down flat. I wasn't sure if he would be able to feel it. I knew it wouldn't be as strong as it was for me, but I was hoping he could feel something. I saw his eyes light up, when I felt the fluttering again. "Is that our baby?"

I shook my head. He placed his hand and his head on my stomach and just kept it there. The baby barely moved again, but Conner seemed like he never wanted to move away. I pulled his ball cap off his head and massaged it with my fingernails. My confrontation with Amber was suddenly put aside for what was really important. Conner and I were together and we had a little baby coming that we made out of love, which was something that he had never felt with anyone else but me.

Chapter 10

Conner

The restaurant had turned out to be a bad idea. After the drama with the girls leaving, Colt finally got a hold of Van who explain
ed what had gone down in the bathroom. I couldn't' say that I was surprised about Amber being a bitch. Like me, she sort of always got what she wanted. Too bad she wasn't going to get me anymore. If I was single and never had met Amy, I would have given the girl a good time.

Moving out of state had changed my life. Aside from pool league, I never went out anymore. Instead of looking forward to parties, I looked forward to relaxing at home. I used to make fun of Ty for losing his man card, but soon realized that he traded in for a family. He was still a tough ass, who would fight for what he wanted, except his wife and kids were his number one. If he could change, then so could I.

After Colt filled me in, Amber got an earful. I excused myself from the table to find her ass. She knew that I was pissed and I didn't care how scared she was of me. I'd never wanted to hit a bitch so much, not even Heather. "What the fuck did you say to my girlfriend?" I assume it was the fact that I used the term girlfriend that made her look at me the way she did.

"Calm down, baby. I was just warning her. It's what girls do." She tried to put her hand on my arm.

I pulled away and took a step closer to her. "If you did anything to ruin my relationship, I will ruin you. You think I'm the only one in this town with skeletons? Don't forget I know about you and your step-daddy. Fuck with me again and I will go to your momma."

She crossed her arms. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Amber, we were friends a long time ago. I have a life now. I'm goin' to be a father. Maybe you can't understand what that feels like, but I ain't about to let my past dictate my future."

"You'll get bored, you know it. This is all just a show for that family of yours."

I'd never hurt a woman, but I pushed that little bitch up against the wall. "I grew up without a daddy. My kid ain't never goin' to feel that. Keep your mouth away from my future."

I walked away knowing damn well she was crying. It served her right. Now I just had to get home to make things right with my woman. Amy could be stubborn and this pregnancy was making her overemotional about every damn thing. I couldn't lose her over this. Petty or not, I was worried.

Sure enough, Amy was a wreck when I got home. After having several words, we finally calmed down and made up. In that moment that she let me feel our little baby, I knew things were going to be alright. I don't know how long we laid there together. After a couple of kicks, I couldn't feel anymore. I laid with Amy until we fell asleep. My cousins were expecting us, but we needed some time to ourselves.

In the middle of the night, I lifted Amy up to the top of the bed and covered us both up. In my mind,
I knew that she was all I wanted. I just wanted her to know that too. Hell, she still wasn't completely mine. By law, she belonged to someone else. That bothered me every single day. All I could do was keep her close and hope that one day she would be mine in every way. If I had to fight for her, I would. She was worth it all.

The next morning we had breakfast at my aunts. It was cool to see my family interacting with Amy like she belonged there with us. My mother walked over and wrapped her arms around me. "Are you two better now?"

I shook my head. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Your sister told me what that girl said to Amy. She's lucky I wasn't in that bathroom. I would have given her a piece of my mind. Rumor has it, she's having an affair with her step-daddy. Did you know that her mother has cancer? How could that girl be so thoughtless?"