Saving My Submission BN (32 page)

“Yes,” Ian whispered. “So beautiful. Handing over your
hypnotizing power is a glorious sight to see. Fall at my feet and kneel before
me, girl. Release your inhibitions. I want to see every inch of it… feel it in
the air… breathe your control into my lungs as you grant me the honor of your
submission.”

Gliding back to the floor upon my knees, that familiar
feeling of liberated bliss warmed my chest and spread through my limbs. I
didn’t try to push it away or deny its existence. Instead, I welcomed the
invisible hands wrapping around me… molding and protecting my vulnerabilities…
my surrender.

“This is your strength, Mellie. Your power. Your
control. I see it. He sees it. Your Master is watching you, girl. This
priceless gift you give him is what feeds his soul and makes him whole. Nourish
him, little one. Give him life and strength.”

Ian’s words were barely above a whisper, but the
weight of each phrase pressed all around me in a pall of contentment. I sensed
movement from in front of me. The tops of Joshua’s shoes appeared in my
periphery, and it took every ounce of self-restraint not to raise my head.

“I can smell your hot cunt from here, girl,” Ian
murmured.

Mortified, I gasped softly, wanting nothing more than
to melt into the carpet and disappear.

“Your body responds to its natural calling. It’s your
head that’s blocking your path, sweet girl. Spread your thighs, little one.
Spread them nice and wide. Show your Master your courage… your strength,” Ian
directed.

Terrified, Ian would want to touch me… feel how wet
I’d become, I swallowed tightly and tried to force myself to comply. A swell of
panic overtook me. Snapping my head up, a pained expression tugged at my brows.

“I’m not having sex with him,” I boldly declared,
looking Joshua in the eye.

He simply smiled as Ian squatted in close next to me.
When he reached out and gently brushed my hair over my shoulder, I tensed and
fought the urge to pull back.

“I have no desire to claim your pussy or ass, Mellie,”
Ian began in a reassuring timbre. “This lesson isn’t about sex; it’s about
power and control, submission and freedom. It’s about giving
everything
inside you over to your Master. All
your fears, your pain, your insecurities, along with all your strengths and
weaknesses. It’s about trusting someone with the very essence of your being;
that they’ll not only keep them safe, but make you whole in the process. Master
Stephen is going to keep your safe. And if you let him, he’ll also make you
whole.”

“Submission isn’t weakness, little one. It takes a
hell of a lot more courage and strength to hand over your power than it does to
keep it locked in your fist with a death grip,” Joshua expounded, picking up
where Ian left off, like a tag-team match. “Freedom is found within, little
one. You know it and I know it. When you give me the power to make all the
decisions for you, to bind you with my mind…my body, what happens inside you?”

“I come alive,” I whispered.

“You do a hell of a lot more than that, baby. Your
soar… you fly away in such a pure and peaceful way, it makes me want to beat my
chest and howl to the moon. Do you have any idea how goddamn empowering that is
to me?” I shook my head. “It’s priceless...Because you
let
me take you there. Tell me, who holds the
power, little one? Who owns the control for all that?”

Something strange and unexpected swelled inside me,
and the pieces aligned with clarity. I’d professed for days that I wouldn’t let
Davis steal my power, when I’d done nothing more than allow him to make me feel
like a victim. Joshua’s words made me realize that I’d had the control to wipe
the vile sludge from my being. I had the power with Walker, but I also had the
power to give the amazing man in front of me the control to fulfill my
fantasies.

“I do,” I whispered, still pondering his words.

“Damn right you do. And that power comes from both,
Mouthy-Mellie and submissive Mellie. There is no division… they’re one and the
same. One beautiful collection of sass and sweet, not fragmented pieces of
strong and weak. There’s not a weak bone in your body, girl. You’re mighty and
powerful, and god, the heady rush I get when you give all that to me. It’s
indescribable.” Joshua’s tone was filled with wonderment. “When you beg to
please me, you’re finding the strength to cast aside our fears and uncertainty
and open up your entire soul to me, little one. And when something blocks your
path, you grab hold of it with the same courageous strength and kick your way
clear to charge right on through. Strength comes in many forms, sweetheart, and
you, my beautiful sub, are powerful beyond compare.”
 

“Spread your thighs, girl,” Ian whispered. “Show your
Master your strength and let him guide you. Give him what’s inside your heart,
your body, and your soul.”

Shards of fire and ice swirled inside me, intertwining
and sifting together in a hazy smoke of power. Floating through my limbs,
meshing and melding, growing and surging with such force, I thought it might
burst from me at the seams.

Tears prickled the backs of my eyes and I spread my
legs. Joshua brushed his knuckles along the insides of my thighs, leaving a
tingling path behind.

 
“You’re so
fucking gorgeous, little one,” Joshua growled. “Spread them wider. You’re
stronger than this. Show me how strong you really are. Give me all your sweet
control. I want it… need it. Need to taste it on your flesh, feel it breathe and
glow beneath my hands, wrap it around my heart and give it back to you tenfold.
Let me have it, little one. Let me make you whole. I need your love, baby… just
as much as you need mine.”

Joshua needed to satisfy his desires, but his words
conveyed more than a level of Dominance. He wanted to open up and let someone
inside him again… me. For the first time in my adult life, I needed to be
loved—and give love—as deeply in return. Spreading my legs to the point of
pain, I wanted to give Joshua my power, my control, and my love. Because I knew
unequivocally he’d never use me and toss me away… he’d never hurt me.

For years I’d kept my heart isolated, crippled with
the fear of abandonment. My parents had left me, Davis had left me… and somehow
I’d convinced myself that by keeping bold, fearless Mellie apart from the
caring, needy, acquiescent parts within I’d never have to run the risk of
losing all of me, in one fell swoop.
 

Tears of salvation and joy spilled down my cheeks,
dripping onto my breasts. Raising my head I stared into Joshua’s loving eyes. I
no longer needed to wear a mask or surround myself in armor. This gorgeous,
compassionate, caring man was worth the risk of losing it, losing all of me.

Leaning in, Joshua dropped his head to my breasts.
Sipping the droplets between his lips, he steered clear of my nipples. His
restraint was clear… the lesson he sought to teach me was clear. This wasn’t a
sexual awakening—it was an emotional and spiritual rebirth. He’d reached inside
my soul and saved my submission… just like he’d promised.

Sobbing, I raised my hands up to him. “I need you,
too, Master.”

“Oh, baby,” Joshua whispered as he wrapped his arms
around me and hugged me to his chest.

“Fucking gorgeous. Well done, girl,” Ian whispered as
he bent in and pressed a kiss at my temple.

The sound of Joshua’s heartbeat echoed in my ear and
in the distance I could hear Sanna softly crying. Sliding my arms around his
neck, I clung to him with all my might. As he stood he slid a strong arm
beneath my knees. Lifting me, he cradled me and carried me toward the stairs.
The sound of Ian’s cell phone made me flinch, but Joshua didn’t stop, didn’t
pause; he didn’t even look back. Instead, he ascended the stairs and carried me
to our room. Kicking the door closed behind him, he laid me down in the center
of our bed.

Wiping away my tears, I watched as he tore off his
clothes and climbed into bed. Embracing me in his sweet blissful heat, Joshua
peppered my face with gentle kisses.

“I’m so proud of you, little one. Words can’t describe
how in awe I am of you right now. Watching you struggle so mightily and
transform as the puzzle pieces finally came together… it was the most gorgeous
and amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed.” Joshua beamed in a combination of
satisfaction, happiness, and pride.

“It’s funny how self-preservation forces you to
compartmentalize and cordon yourself off from pain.”

Joshua nodded. “Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I’d
done the same, until I met you. I meant what I said when I told you that you
blindsided me.”

“You’ve done the very same to me,” I softly chuckled.
“You brought the mighty Mellie Carson down, but more than that… you found a way
for me to reinvent her.”

“I’ve not yet started to do all the things I want with
you, little one.” He dipped his head and claimed my lips in a soulful kiss.
Slowly pulling back from me, he frowned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked nervously.

“When you decide to move to Chicago, I want you to
move in with me, Mellie.”

 
“Whoa.” I
laughed nervously. “But you said we’d start off with me having my own place…see
how it went. Remember?”

“I’ve changed my mind.” His smile spread so wide I
thought his lips would split.

“I think you’re pressing your luck a bit, Mister,
don’t you?” I teased with an impish grin.

He laughed and shook his head. The smile slowly faded
from his lips as he gazed into my eyes. “No. Pressing my luck would be telling
you that I’m ready to start a family again, and I want it with you.”

“Oh, god,” I whispered.

Tears filled my eyes once more as I realized the
importance of his words. He’d healed. Somewhere along the way, Joshua had not
only put his wife to rest, but little Camille as well. Overwhelmed by his
revelation, I could only sob and nod as I wrapped my arm around his neck and he
lowered his face against my neck.

“I miss being a father… a husband,” he murmured, his
voice thick with emotion. “I want you, Mellie. I ache to feed your submission,
spar with your feisty spirit, spend my days and nights with you, and watch you
grow ripe with our child. Christ, I’ve never wanted anything as much as I do
you.”

As his words echoed in my brain, a sense of
completeness seeped deep into my bones. Nothing had ever felt so right. I
sighed.

“Yes,” I whispered softly into his ear.

Rising up, Joshua stared at me in surprise. Reaching
up, I wiped the trail his tears had left before lifting my head from the pillow
and kissing him deeply.

“My beautiful little fantasy,” he whispered in awe.

Suddenly, the bedroom door swung open with a bang.
Both Joshua and I jumped as Ian raced into the room.

The grimace of interrupting us quickly vanished,
replaced by obvious excitement. “Sorry for barging in, but look. You two need
to get your clothes on and get downstairs. James got here a few minutes ago.
You two
gotta
hear this.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“Did they find Tideway?” I asked.

 
“Better. James
just got a call from a friend at the precinct.
 
Chicago PD picked up Davis Walker at his house about forty-five minutes
ago.”

A huge smile spread over my lips as relief flooded my
veins. “We can go home now.”

Joshua shook his head. “Not until they pick up
Tideway, baby.”

“James will fill you in when you get downstairs,” Ian
promised, then rushed back out.

“I would love to be in the room when they interrogate
him.” A flash of retribution zipped through my veins as Joshua eased off me and
stood. Rolling out of bed behind him, we quickly re-dressed.

“I’d rather have a two-by-four and five minutes alone
with the prick,” he sneered.

Back downstairs, Sanna wore a knowing grin. I gave her
a wink and blew her a kiss as Joshua sat down on the couch and pulled me into
his lap. James sat across from us in one of the big leather chairs talking on
his cell phone as we silently listened to the one-sided conversation.

“Did he have a burner phone on him? Well, shit. That’s
not the news I wanted to hear.” With a disgruntled expression, James shook his
head. “Let me know if he gives up any info about Tideway.”

Joshua combed his fingers through my hair in a calming
touch as James ended his call and sighed.

“Walker’s attorney showed up demanding the captain
charge Davis with something or let him go. He cooperated fully while our guys
checked his alibi. Several people corroborate that Davis had in fact been in
China on business for the past two weeks. So, my captain had to let him go.
Davis handed over his cell phone and wasn’t a damn thing on it… no messages of
any kind to Mellie, even in his deleted files. Of course he could have wiped
them off, but right now the mother fucker has an iron-clad alibi.”

“Dammit,” I whispered as I scrubbed my fingertips on
my forehead. “Did they ask him about Tideway?”

“Yep, and Davis claims he’s never heard of the guy. My
buddy Tommy, who I was just on the phone with, shares an apartment with one of
the detectives. They’re looking under every rock and sewer lid for anything
that ties Davis to Tideway, but they haven’t found a damn thing yet.” James
exhaled a heavy sigh. “I really thought this house of cards would fold once
they brought in Walker, but I was wrong. I’m sorry, Mellie.”

“It’s not your fault. I appreciate everything that
you’re doing, James. I really do.” With a weary sigh, I painted on a smile.
“Well, I guess we’ll be staying here for a little bit longer then. Anyone up
for a game of ‘go fish’?”

Turning his head, James scowled at Drake. “Speaking of
fish, where’s my food?”

“You’re lucky I like you. It’s in the oven,
asswipe
,” Drake chuckled.

‘Yes,” James hissed, gave a fist pump in the air
before racing off toward the kitchen. He quickly returned with a heaping plate
of food and devoured it in minutes flat. Patting his belly, he grinned. “Dylan
and Nick, you two need to open a damn restaurant. I’d be your best customer… as
in nightly.”

“I agree.” I nodded with a grin. “Of course, anyone
that cooks for me is a god in my book.”

“No, the hours are too long. Besides, we’d rather
spend our time cooking up ways to heat Savannah up.” Nick let out a low, raspy
chuckle.

“Can’t argue that reason,” James agreed. “Speaking of
bed, I need to get my stuff out of the car.”

“I’ll go with you,” Ian offered, grabbing his gun
before following James.

Pulling the sturdy wooden door open, James lunged
back. “What the fuck?”

My heart skipped a beat as I tried to peer between
their muscular bodies, worried that another dead rabbit was hanging on the
porch.

Pushing past him, Ian stuck his head outside peering
to the left first, then to the right. Fear lined his face. “Son of a bitch,” he
spat, reaching for his phone.

“What’s going on?” Dylan demanded, racing toward the
door.

“Fire. The whole fucking woods are on fire and I think
it’s moving this way,” James relayed.

Joshua set me on the floor, stood and gripped my hand
as we all clustered around the portal. The night sky was filled in a smoky
haze. A flickering red and orange glow crept toward us on the horizon in a
slithering, fiery snake of destruction. Surrounded on all three sides, I prayed
the fire wasn’t edging in on us from the back of lodge as well. The distant
crackle of dry, dead timber being consumed sent a chill up my spine. Red twinkling
embers whipped through the air, landing in the nearby trees, and on the fringes
of the manicured lawn.

James pushed us back and slammed the door as Ian
frantically alerted the fire officials. Joshua slid his arm around my waist as
we numbly stared at one another, unsure of what we needed to do.

Shoving his phone into his pocket, Ian studied us with
a worried expression. “We’re pretty remote out here, so it’s going to take the
volunteer fire department a while to get to us. We should start saturating the
ground around the place with the garden hoses…make a fire line as best we can
until they get here. Hell, we might even have to evacuate. I just don’t know
yet.”

“We need to think about this for a minute. The fire
may have been set on purpose to flush us out of the house and into the open. We
might be playing into Tideway’s hands if he’s behind this.” Joshua voiced the
same worries that were rolling around in my own head—and likely the others,
too.

“I’d say there’s a real good chance of that. Dylan and
I did some recon over the past couple days. We didn’t come across any campers,
and it hasn’t rained in a week up here, so we know lightning didn’t start it.”
Ian’s suspicious tone made me tremble.

Slinging his rifle over his shoulder, Dylan stomped across
the room, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. Turning, he pinned Sanna with a
stern look. “Stay glued to Nick, kitten.” Then with a tortured expression he
stared at Nick. “Keep her safe, bro. I’m going up on the roof to see if I can
get a bead on anyone with my scope. I’ll be back in a few.”

“With my life, man,” Nick vowed. “Keep the target off
your back. Got it?”

Dylan gave a solemn nod.

“I’ll go with you. Two eyes are better than one,”
James announced. Nodding at the rifle in Drake’s hand, he grinned. “Mind if I
borrow that?”

“Help yourself. I’ll get another, there’s plenty
more,” the big Dom assured
himas
he handed James his
gun.

“I’m going with you two. I want to see how close this
goddamn fire is,” Ian stated. “You all sit tight. I’ll be back in a few. I need
to figure out if we’re going to chance going outside or not.”

As the three men raced up the stairs, Drake ambled
over to a pile of duffle bags heaped in the corner. Nick and Joshua led Sanna
and me back to the couch, both eyeing their handguns poised on the coffee table
and at the ready. Drake retrieved another big rifle and began to pace. I
reached out, gripping Sanna’s hand in mine.

“We’re going to be fine,” I said with a tight smile,
uncertain who I was trying to convince, her or me.

“I know,” she replied with a resolute nod, but I could
still see her fear.

The others had been on the roof for only a few short
minutes, but it seemed like hours. Joshua did his best to calm my riotous
nerves, massaging the back of my neck, but I couldn’t keep my mind from looping
with worst-case scenarios. Was someone actually lurking outside waiting for us
to abandon our sanctuary so they could pick us off, one by one? Or was our only
physical threat the raging fire crawling in around us?

Not knowing what we were truly up against was nerve
racking, and the palpable vibe emanating off the four of us seated on the couch
told me I wasn’t alone. Drake’s incessant pacing, pausing now and then to peer
up the staircase, wasn’t helping either. I wanted to scream for the burly Dom
to sit the hell down, but there was enough tension in the room, I didn’t need
to add any fuel to the proverbial fire.

Suddenly the entire lodge shook with a deafening boom.
Sanna and I screamed, clutching our arms around each other in terror. Leaping
to their feet, Nick and Joshua snatched up their guns. Eyes wild, they swiveled
their heads back and forth searching for signs of danger inside the room. The
sound of breaking glass from somewhere on the second floor, filtered down the
staircase, only to be drowned out by thunderous footsteps echoing from the roof
overhead.

“What the fuck?” Drake barked.

We could hear the men above us shouting, but couldn’t
make out what they were saying.

“What
was
that?”
Sanna gasped.

“It sounded like an explosion,” Joshua replied.

A gunshot rang out, followed by yet another, and a
muffled cry of terror peeled from my throat. Sanna squeezed me tighter as more
shouts and heavy footfalls reverberated through the lodge. A cacophony of chaos
had erupted above us.

Joshua knelt down in front of me, fear dancing in his
gorgeous eyes. “Don’t get split up from me. Don’t leave my sight. Understood?”

“I won’t, I promise,” I swore as fear surged through
my veins. “Joshua, I’m scared.”

“Don’t be.” He shook his head. “I’ll keep you safe. If
I have to fight the devil himself, I will, because I’m not going to lose
another woman I love.”

“You… you love me?” I whispered.

Flashing me that incredible heart-melting smile of
his, Joshua grunted. “You bet your sexy little ass I do.”

My heart fiercely galloped in a combination of bliss
and fear. Dazed by his admission, I remembered what my little voice had told
me: “
You’ve searched for him your whole life…
Deep down you knew that you’d never be whole until you found that perfect
person.
”
 

Releasing Sanna, I wrapped my arms around Joshua’s
neck and kissed him, pouring the depths of my heart and soul into it. As I
pulled away, the three words I’d never spoken to a man, besides my father, sat
poised on the tip of my tongue.

Ian came bounding into the room, his eyes wide and his
expression grim. Skidding to a halt on the polished wooden floor at the base of
the stairs, he sucked in a quick breath. “Somebody just blew up
Mellie’s
car.”

“That was my car?” I screeched.

“Yeah,” Ian nodded hastily. “But Dylan clipped the guy
good as he ran back into the trees. Come on. Grab some flashlights out of the
bags. We need to track him down. Hopefully all we’ll find is a fucking dead
body.”

Drake, Nick and Joshua nodded before Ian glanced at
Sanna and me. “You two run upstairs and start packing up. The fire’s getting
too close for comfort. Throw what you can in your suitcases and line them up by
the door. As soon as we find this
fucknut
, we’ll be
back to start loading them into the cars. Dylan and James are still on the
roof. Holler if you need them.”

“Keep the doors locked,” Nick instructed Sanna before
he kissed her hard.

“I’ll be right back, little one. You stay safe,”
Joshua ordered. For once I didn’t argue.

“You too,” I cautioned. Joshua gave me a quick, forceful
kiss then Sanna and I watched them rush out the front door.

Following behind them, I locked the deadbolt and
pulled Sanna to my side. “Come on. Let’s get our stuff packed up so we’re all
ready to go when they come back.”

“So, do you?” She asked with a cheesy grin.

“Do I what?”

“Love him, too?” She rolled her eyes and shook her
head, mocking my question.

I grinned. “Yeah, I do.”

“I knew it. I knew it,” she squealed. “Can I say it
now?”

“Say what?” I asked as we walked up the stairs.

“I told you
sooooooo
,” she
giggled.

“Shut up,” I laughed then gave her a quick kiss before
we each dashed into our rooms.

Tossing clothes back into our suitcases like a wild
woman, I couldn’t help but grin.

“So that means you are moving to Chicago, right?”
Sanna called from the other room.

“Looks like it,” I laughed.

“Fuck yeah,” she screamed.

I just laughed. Even though we were probably
surrounded by fire and going to have to run for our lives, I knew the guys
would find Tideway’s body and this surreal nightmare would be over. Joshua and
I could begin a new journey in our lives… together.

I heard a thud, followed by a howl as Sanna let out a
curse.

“You okay?” I hollered out, as fear slammed the joy
from me.

“Yeah, just stubbed my toe,” she growled.

I sighed with relief and finished filling the
suitcases. After packing the last bag, I lifted a box in one arm and gripped a
suitcase in my hand before heading down the stairs. Lining them up by the door,
as Ian had instructed, I turned, ready to go back up for more when a strange
noise from the back door caught my attention. It was a quiet tapping sound.
Cautiously, I eased closer toward the door, trying to peer through the small
crack in the hurricane shutter, but could only see darkness. There was another
tap and I flinched.

“Mel. Mel. Open up,” Sanna whispered in a soft, scared
tone.

Gripping the knob, she called to me again.

“Mel. Hurry, open the damn door,” she whispered, her
tone more frantic than before.

Leaning in close to the crack I frowned. “Sanna? What
the hell are you doing outside? I thought you were upstairs?”

“
Shhh
,” she instructed. “I
climbed out the window, Mel. He’s inside the lodge. Open the door and get out.
We’ll hide in the forest until the guys get back.”

With a snap of my head, I shot a terrified glance over
my shoulder. How’d he gotten in? I was standing out in the open. Tideway would
easily find me and slit my throat on Davis’ behalf if I didn’t get moving. My
mind whirled. I needed to stay with Sanna, find a safe place away from the fire
and hide.