Saving His Little Miracle (Mills & Boon Medical) (12 page)

He had never responded this way to a woman before and it would be foolish to allow himself to do so now. He needed to decide what he intended to do without anything distracting him. His feelings for Lowri weren’t the issue. It was the effect it could have on his life if he made a commitment to her and the children that mattered. His whole existence would be affected, all the plans he had made would need to be changed. Quite frankly, he wasn’t sure if he could cope with such a major upheaval.

He took the coffee pot outside and put it on the table, doing his best to present a calm front. Normally, he had no difficulty doing so—his natural demeanour was cool and aloof. However, it was hard to be distant or aloof as Megan chattered away, excitedly pointing out all the things that captured her attention, like a bright red butterfly that landed on some flowers and the vapour trail a plane had left in the sky.

‘I haven’t seen her so animated for ages,’ Lowri said quietly, as the little girl jumped up to chase the butterfly. ‘Being here is already doing her the power of good.’

‘She needed a change of scene,’ Vincenzo replied smoothly, although his heart lifted at the thought that his plan had been so successful. It helped lessen the guilt he felt about the way he had...well
, bullied
Lowri into agreeing to come here. Even though he knew it had been for her own good, he still wished that he hadn’t needed to take such a hard line.

‘She did. She’s been through so much and having to go back into hospital while they sorted out that infection was the last straw.’ She shook her head. ‘I’ve never seen her looking so down as she’s done these past few weeks.’

‘It’s been hard for her. And hard for you, too.’ He sighed, knowing that he had to say it even though it worried him to be so open about his feelings. ‘I only had a taste of what you’ve been through, Lowri, and I know how difficult I found it.’

‘Did you?’ she said in surprise, and he grimaced.

‘
Sì.
Seeing how ill Megan was wasn’t easy.’

‘I didn’t realise that,’ she said slowly, looking at him with wide hazel eyes. ‘You always seemed so...well, so
together
when we were at the hospital.’

‘Did I?’ He gave a small shrug, not sure if it was a relief to know that he had managed to fool her. Whilst he preferred to keep his emotions under wraps, he would hate it if she thought he didn’t care.

‘Yes. I found it really hard, if I’m honest. I don’t know why but seeing her so ill again really got to me this time.’ Her voice caught. ‘I don’t think I’d have coped half as well if you hadn’t been there, Vincenzo.’

It was his turn to look surprised. ‘Really?’

‘Uh-huh.’ She gave a slightly sheepish laugh. ‘A couple of times I nearly lost it but you were there, looking so calm and so sure that everything was going to be all right. It helped tremendously.’

‘I had no idea.’ He broke off and shook his head. ‘All I can say is that I never suspected you were so worried.’

‘Good. If you didn’t realise it then Megan didn’t either.’ She gave him a quick smile as she reached for the coffee pot. ‘I must be a better actress than I thought.’

Vincenzo smiled politely but the comment had touched a nerve. He had assumed that he had got to know Lowri rather well in the past few weeks but now he could see that he had been mistaken. Although he might know her on the surface, he didn’t really know what made her tick, did he?

It was worrying to realise that he had made assumptions that weren’t based on anything solid. If he was to work out what he intended to do, he needed to base any decisions he made on facts. He had never been comfortable dealing with emotions. Emotions skewed his judgement, made it impossible for him to be sure about what he was doing. If he allowed his emotions to influence him then he could end up making a terrible mistake.

Vincenzo decided that he needed to leave immediately. As soon as he had finished eating, he excused himself and went to fetch his briefcase. Lowri was standing in the hall when he came out of his study and he paused, struggling to control the leap his heart gave when he saw her. She was still wearing her pyjamas, pale pink cotton sprigged with tiny rosebuds.

There was nothing overtly seductive about the outfit yet he could feel the blood running hotly through his veins. It was an effort to smile coolly when what he really wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless.

‘Maria will be in before noon. She will prepare lunch for you and dinner as well. If there’s anything you need, she can get it for you too.’

‘Thank you. You’ve thought of everything, Vincenzo. I know I wasn’t exactly keen to come here when you first suggested it, but I’m sure it’s going to give Megan the boost she needs.’

‘I’m glad.’ He gave a small shrug. ‘I still feel a little guilty about the way I bullied you into falling in with my plans.’

‘Then don’t. There’s no need, really.’ She gave him a quick smile. ‘So when are you planning on coming back?’

‘I’m not sure,’ he hedged, trying not to get carried away by the thought that she might miss him. Of course she wouldn’t miss him, not when she had Megan to think about. His tone was flat when he continued but it was better than letting her guess how disappointed he felt. ‘It will take me a few days to catch up with what’s been happening in my absence, I imagine.’

‘Of course,’ she said quietly, and he hated to hear how reserved she sounded and know that it was all his fault. ‘Do you have a phone number where I can reach you?’

‘Yes, of course.’ He took out his wallet and handed her a card listing his contact number at the hospital. ‘You can get me on this. If I’m not available then leave a message with my secretary and I’ll call you back.’

‘Thank you.’ Her tone was dry; it made him wish that he had given her his mobile number but it was too late to backtrack. She smiled coolly. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be discreet. I’m sure you don’t want people knowing what we’re planning on doing.’

‘It would be best if we keep the details to ourselves,’ he agreed, trying not to let her see that her reaction had stung. He returned his wallet to his pocket, wondering why he was so sensitive all of a sudden. Normally he paid no heed to what people thought of him but he seemed unusually susceptible when it came to Lowri. He didn’t want her thinking badly of him, strangely enough.

He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with that thought too. ‘I shall call you tonight to check that you are all right.’

‘There’s no need. I’m sure we’ll be fine.’

The chill in her voice brought the colour to his cheeks and he turned away, not wanting her to witness his discomfort. ‘As you wish.
Ciao!
’

He strode out of the door, pausing when he heard Megan calling him. Turning, he smiled when he saw her hurtling across the hall. Dropping his briefcase onto the floor, he swung her up into his arms. ‘You must slow down,
tesoro.
You could slip and hurt yourself.
Sì?
’

‘Sì.’
Megan wrapped her arms around his neck. She stared at him with eyes that were identical to the ones he saw in the mirror each morning when he was shaving. ‘Where are you going, Vincenzo? I want to come with you.’

‘I would love you to come,
amore
, but it’s a long way and you would get very bored.’ He buzzed her cheek with his lips, feeling tenderness overwhelm him when her small arms tightened around his neck. His tone was gruffer than normal but it was the first time he had experienced the sheer depth of love that a father felt for his child so he could be excused for being rather emotional. ‘You stay here with Mummy and I shall come back to see you very soon.’

‘Promise?’ Megan demanded.

‘Promise.’

He put her down, his heart catching all over again when he looked up and saw the expression on Lowri’s face. That she had been moved by what she had witnessed was obvious. Without stopping to think, he went to her and dropped a kiss on her cheek, his lips lingering for the merest fraction of a second. If he allowed himself more than this token kiss he would never leave her, never be able to assess this situation, think it all through clearly and rationally.

He drew back, staring into her eyes before he turned away. Megan shouted goodbye and he responded but Lowri didn’t say a word. Vincenzo got into his car and gunned the engine then drove out of the gates. The road leading into Garda was as busy as ever, tourists and locals vying for space, but he felt none of his usual impatience. He wasn’t in a rush to get to Milan, as he normally was. Up till now work had been his
raison d’être
but not any more. His priorities had changed now that he was a father.

He gripped the steering-wheel as panic assailed him. It was going to be harder than he had thought to make the right decision. It wasn’t just he who would be affected but Megan too and he didn’t want to disappoint her, to let her down.

He didn’t want to let Lowri down either but how could he guarantee that it wouldn’t happen? How could he be sure that at some point in the future she wouldn’t regret contacting him?

His heart ached as he followed the signs for Milan. He knew so little about what it took to be a good father. Even if he tried his best, he could still fail. The thought of Lowri’s disappointment if he turned out like his own father was very hard to bear. It might be better if he called a halt rather than risk that happening. Oh, he had agreed to give her another baby and he would keep his promise, but after that it would be better for everyone if he faded into the background. He would make financial provision for Megan and the baby but he wouldn’t have any further contact with them. He would do his duty and that was all.

Vincenzo took a deep breath and used it to shore up the pain that flooded through him. Once this baby was born that would be it. He and Lowri would get on with their lives. Separately.

CHAPTER NINE

A
WEEK
PASSED
and Lowri didn’t hear a word from Vincenzo apart from a brief phone call the first night. She tried to tell herself that he was busy and didn’t have the time to call, but it was hard to believe that. Surely he could spare a couple of minutes to check on Megan?

As the days passed, she found herself growing increasingly angry about the way he had seemingly abandoned them, especially when Megan kept asking when he was coming back. However, it wasn’t until the Friday morning that she decided to take matters into her own hands.

She had been monitoring her monthly cycle and she knew that in a few days it would be the optimum time for her to conceive. Although she wasn’t in a rush to sleep with Vincenzo, on a practical level the sooner they got it over and done with the better. She called the number he had given her and left a message with his secretary, asking him to phone her back. Megan was playing in the swimming pool, watched over by a doting Maria, so once she had made the call, Lowri went to relieve her.

Maria had proved to be a godsend, looking after Megan while Lowri went for a walk or visited the local shops. Her husband, Alfredo, was the gardener and he too had endless patience as Megan followed him around, asking questions. Although Alfredo spoke very little English, somehow he and Megan managed to communicate. Lowri knew that being at the villa was doing Megan a world of good but she still couldn’t shrug off her anger at Vincenzo’s behaviour. It seemed doubly unacceptable after what had happened the morning he had left for Milan.

She dismissed the thought, knowing it was pointless reading anything into what had gone on. Maybe Vincenzo had appeared to be deeply moved by Megan’s reaction to him leaving but if he had cared that much, he would have phoned to see how she was. Her mouth thinned as she made her way to the pool. Vincenzo didn’t really care about Megan. And he certainly didn’t care about her!

She spent an hour playing in the pool with Megan. As soon as the little girl started to tire, she lifted her out and took her inside. There was still an hour to go before lunch and Megan would benefit from a nap beforehand. Although Megan’s health was definitely improving, she tired easily and Lowri took care to make sure that she rested during the day.

She stripped off Megan’s swimsuit and popped on a nightie then persuaded her to lie down on the bed with one of her new dolls. She soon fell asleep so Lowri went to her own room, meaning to read until Megan woke up. She had just opened her book when the phone in the hall rang and the next moment she heard Maria calling her.

She ran down the stairs, her heart racing as she wondered if Vincenzo had finally deigned to phone her. Picking up the receiver, she held it to her ear. ‘Yes?’

‘It’s Vincenzo. My secretary told me that you had telephoned. There is nothing wrong, I hope?’

He sounded concerned but Lowri had no intention of being mollified. ‘And what if there was something wrong? What would you do, Vincenzo? Come haring back here like a knight in shining armour to sort it all out?’ She laughed scornfully. ‘I doubt it. Not when you haven’t even bothered to phone!’

There was a brief silence before he replied. ‘I am sorry. It was remiss of me not to phone before now. I can only apologise.’

‘Apologies cost nothing, though, do they? It’s actions that speak loudest of all.’

‘Meaning what precisely?’ There was the faintest rumble of anger in his voice, just the tiniest ruffle marring its silky-smooth surface. Lowri felt a thrill of pleasure run through her when she realised that she had managed to arouse a reaction.

‘
Meaning
that if you’d cared anything at all about Megan then you would have phoned to find out how she was. It’s ironic, really. I’m the one who claimed to be a better actress than I thought I was, but you’re the one who actually deserves all the plaudits. Your performance the morning you left for Milan deserved an Oscar!’

Stony silence greeted her comment. Lowri held her breath, determined that she wasn’t going to break it. As far as she was concerned, it was Vincenzo who was at fault, not her.

‘I take it that you phoned for a reason and not simply because you felt the need to berate me for my failings?’