Authors: Katie Graykowski
The kid’s eyes turned to eight balls as he shook Clint’s hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. I can’t believe I’m actually here with all of you.”
Devon stepped up. “Coach, take a look at this kid’s pupils. They’re huge. I think he’s high.” He racked the shotgun again. “Son, you do drugs?”
Grace elbowed Devon in the gut. “Don’t mind him. We keep him around because he can lift heavy things.”
“That’s not fair. I lift heavy things too.” Chord sounded way whinier than he’d planned.
“You bet.” Grace kissed him square on the mouth. “You lift heavy things too.”
“Wow.” It was all poor Adam was capable of.
CoCo introduced the rest of the team. Grace and Devon had a strange vibe between them. It had started last night when he’d made her cry, and now there was just weirdness between them. It was more than just her uncle.
Was there something going on between them? Were they more than friends? Was Grace tired of him and wanting to move on to Devon?
Chord shook his head. That was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard. Grace wasn’t Alice, and Devon was one of his best friends. Of course nothing was going on between them. But there was something going on.
Grace was different…a little sad. Chord didn’t think he’d done anything, but since he didn’t understand women, he couldn’t be sure. Maybe later he’d get her to snuggle with him on the sofa and she could tell him what actually happened last night during her dance with Devon.
He’d get to the bottom of it. Grace had lost some of her sparkly attitude, and he needed to help her get it back. But how?
For the first time in a long time, he felt powerless to help someone he cared about.
At nine forty-five, Grace waved goodbye to Devon and Sweet Louise as they drove down the driveway. These loud get-togethers with the team reminded her of the chaos of her childhood. All her brothers and sisters running around—all the energy. She hugged herself. Would her child grow up with his or her brothers and sister?
She hoped so. She was getting used to the idea of having a baby. The shock was wearing off, and the reality was setting in. She could do it alone, but she was hoping she wouldn’t have to.
“Penny for your thoughts.” Chord’s arm came around her as she watched Devon’s faint taillights fade into the distance.
“Not much. Just wondering how CoCo’s date is going.” Grace checked her watch. “She should be home soon.”
“Are we going to stand out here and wait for her?” Chord shrugged. “I’m game, but you already lectured me on embarrassing her. I think this qualifies.”
She shook off her dreary mood. “You’re right.”
They walked back into the house and closed the front door.
“What was that?” Chord put a hand to his ear. “Did you say I’m right about something?”
“It is a pretty rare occurrence. Maybe we should call The Guinness Book of World Records?” Grace nodded. “Someone should record this momentous day.”
“I’m right about lots of things.” He looked around dramatically like he was trying to recall them. “Lots of things.”
She patted his cheek. “Want me to get you a gold star? You can wear it on your shirt.”
“I prefer a smiley face, thank you very much.” He grinned down at her.
“The boys are watching Star Wars II—it’s a miracle. Why don’t we snuggle on the blue living room sofa and pretend we’re not waiting for CoCo?”
“Sounds like a plan.” He led her into the blue living room and they settled on the sofa.
“Are you going to tell me what’s between you and Devon?” Chord was trying to pull off nonchalance, but his voice was high and nervous.
“Nothing. We’re friends. Apart from my crying jag from last night, we don’t share anything.” She put her head on his shoulder.
“You know, you can tell me anything.”
Did he know about the baby? Devon had sworn he hadn’t told a soul. “Okay.”
“We’re both adults here, so if there’s anything you want to tell me, I can take it.” His voice suggested she should know what he was talking about.
“What are you talking about?” Discreetly, she pulled in a deep cleansing breath and then released it.
“You know…if you and well…” He chewed on his lower lip. “It’s like if you bought some new shoes and really liked them at the time, but a couple of months later you saw some other shoes you liked better. It’s okay to buy the new shoes, but the old shoes deserve to know why.”
Grace waited a full minute for her brain to process the story in case it made more sense after further analysis. “If you’re going to start talking in code, could you give me a heads up first?”
“You had an old favorite, and now you have a new one.” He nodded like she was supposed to know what that meant.
“During that game of flag football, did you hit your head?” She checked his pupils to make sure they were equal size.
He took several deep breaths. “I’m just wondering if you’ve lost interest in me and moved on to Devon.”
Grace blinked twice before his meaning settled in. “Wait a minute. You think Devon and I are together? I don’t know whether to laugh or punch you.”
“It’s just that there’s a weird vibe between the two of you.” His voice cracked. “Alice…liked other men. She dated quite a few during our marriage. I’d just like it if you’d do me the courtesy of telling me we’re through, before you move on to the next man.”
He was so serious and trying to do the right thing. There was sorrow in his eyes and confusion.
“Devon is my friend, but I’m in love with you.” She hadn’t meant to say it, but there it was. Now, if he’d tell her how he felt, they could get onto the baby news.
“Oh.” Slowly he relaxed, and a radiant smile started at his eyes and worked its way down his entire body.
She waited for more, but “oh” was all she got. It was a slap to the soul. She pasted on a smile and pretended it didn’t matter, but tears burned the inside of her nose and the steak and baked potato she’d had for dinner threatened to come back up.
“Are you okay?” Concern muddled his face. “You’re turning green.”
“I’m not feeling well.” She stood and made it out of the room before the tears hit. She’d told him she loved him and all he’d said was “oh.”
Running full out until she hit her bathroom, she made it to the toilet just in time for her dinner to come up.
“Are you okay? Can I get you something?” Chord said from the other side of the door.
No, she was not okay. She was in love with a man who at best had feelings for her, but wouldn’t admit them to himself or anyone else. At worst…didn’t love her. Right now, she wanted to climb into bed, curl into a ball, pull the covers over her head, and forget about the world around her.
“No, I don’t need anything.” Just for him to love her. For the first time in her life, things seemed hopeless. She’d been down and out before but never hopeless.
Slowly, she got up and brushed her teeth and washed her face. Looking in the mirror, she saw only dark circles and worry. The knob turned behind her. She could have smacked herself on the forehead for not locking the door.
Chord walked into the bathroom and shut the door. With the two of them in here, there wasn’t much space. From behind, he slipped his arms around her until her back mashed into his chest.
“You weren’t feeling well last night either.” He looked at her through the mirror. “Are…uh…are you pregnant?”
The last part had taken him a while to get out.
She held his gaze and lied to him for the first time since she’d met him. “No, my period started this morning.”
Relief relaxed the worry lines at his eyes. He grinned. “Thank God. In the short time it took me to get here, my mind was working overtime.”
She contracted her muscles into a smile and nodded. “Yes, dodged a bullet.”
Watching her reflection, she wondered who this woman was that could lie so easily and convincingly, and who could smile even though her soul had taken a beating.
She was carrying his unwanted child, her heart opened to her precious being and vowed to love it enough for both parents.
***
Chord tucked Grace into bed and went to find a drink.
He didn’t know what hurt worse, the loss of a child he hadn’t known he’d wanted or that Grace was relieved to not be pregnant.
But she thought she loved him. He should be swinging from the rafters with joy, but Alice had professed love too.
It had only been a few weeks. Could Grace have fallen for him in that short of time?
True, he had feelings for her—his life revolved around her. Was that love? He was more than a little angry with himself for analyzing Grace’s love. He was taking something pure and wonderful and looking for the holes.
He didn’t want to be that man. The one who questioned all things good—the Grinch Who Stole Love, but he couldn’t help himself.
Grace loved him but was relieved to not be carrying his child.
It hurt because it felt like her love had limits. Shouldn’t love be limitless?
He couldn’t get over how sad he was about knowing for sure there was no baby.
He walked to the bar in his game room and poured himself a shot of tequila…just one. CoCo would be home soon.
It was stupid to mourn the loss of something he’d never had, but there it was. He had children, and he loved them, but he could stand a few more. Especially with Grace’s almond-shaped brown eyes and her pixie nose. Having children with someone meant he would be bound to that person forever. Was he ready for that kind of commitment?
“There you are.” CoCo stepped into the game room, and he could feel her anger. “I don’t appreciate the little fright fest you planned for my date.”
He wanted more kids. Was he nuts?
“Come on, it was all in fun. Someday you’ll have kids and you’ll get to torment them too.” He thought about it. Grandkids…that was the way to go. Now, there was an idea.
“Fun for you, but I was horrified.” She propped a fist on her hip. “Thank God Adam isn’t that bright and thought it was funny.”
“What did y’all do tonight?” Clearly the tequila was taking effect because here he was having a conversation with his firstborn about her date.
“First we drank a gallon of whiskey, then we snorted crack and made a porn video. It’s on YouTube, wanna see?” CoCo was dead serious.
For a split second, he was tempted to pull out his phone and double check. She was punishing him for earlier.
“Too bad, we could have sold it and made some cash.” He ruffled her hair like he’d done when she was a kid.
Yes, he could stand a few more kiddos. They made live worth living…Grace made life worth living.
Two weeks later, Chord still couldn’t figure out what was wrong with Grace. Well, it wasn’t that there was anything wrong with her…it’s just that she seemed different. She rarely smiled and her laughter when he did hear it was strained. He’d taken her out to dinner several times, just them. They’d had a wonderful time, but something was missing. Grace held back…she was pulling away from him. He could feel it.
She claimed to love him, and he did believe her, but nothing lasted forever.
He sat at his desk in his home office. The outline for a new play had been percolating through his brain. It was a variation on a reverse trap. He needed to write it down in his notebook, before he forgot it all together.
He opened the top drawer of his desk and stuck his hand in to pull out his precious notebook, but it wasn’t there. He looked in the next drawer. Paperclips, post-it notes, and a bag of cashews. The last drawer held nothing but a box of staples.
He riffled through the stacks of paper on his desk. Nothing. He looked under his desk, behind the credenza, in every single drawer of his filing cabinet, and finally in the wall safe behind last year’s team photo. His playbook was nowhere to be found.
He sat back down. It wasn’t lost—it was hiding. That’s what he’d told a five-year-old Cart about his Luke Skywalker action figure when he’d lost it. But Chord knew he’d put the book right back where he always kept it. Again, he pulled the drawer out and felt around way in back. Nothing. Thinking the book might be squished behind the drawer, he removed the drawer from the metal slides holding it in place. All he found was a miniature Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.
Where was his playbook? Had he misplaced it?
He shook his head. He never took it anywhere put out of the drawer, put it on his desk, and then put it back in the drawer.
There was sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Grace needed money for her uncle, but she wouldn’t take it from him. She’d told him just today she finally had the down payment for Belle Verde.
He slapped the desktop. This was ridiculous. Grace wouldn’t and hadn’t taken anything from him. Christ, he couldn’t even get her to let him buy her some new clothes. She wouldn’t take his playbook. Maybe she’d been interested in it and taken it to read in her room. That was it.
He pulled out his phone to call her and ask, but she was at the Humane Heroes facility, and the cell reception there sucked. He’d just go in her room and check it out.
He stood and walked upstairs. It wasn’t an invasion of her privacy. She wouldn’t care. She had nothing to hide. Grace wasn’t going to be happy about it, but he’d fess up as soon as he saw her. It would be fine. She’d think it was funny that he’d turned his office upside down looking for the playbook. They’d laugh it off.
He turned the knob to her bedroom. Her bed was made, and everything was put away. For such a free spirit, she sure liked an orderly room. He looked around. The book wasn’t anywhere obvious. He glanced around. If she were casually reading it, where would it be?
With her new interest in football, she was forever asking him questions. She said she made notes at night sometimes when she was reading. The nightstand. He went to it and pulled open the drawer. There was a fingernail file and a fat brown envelope. He picked it up and pulled back the flap. It was filled with cash. There must be close to ten thousand dollars here.
This was the money she’d been saving for her uncle. He counted it. Eight thousand, nine hundred and twenty-two dollars. Considering she’d been singing to earn money to pay her uncle’s rent when she’d first started here, it was hard to believe she’d suddenly come into this money. He did a mental tally of all the money he’d paid her. Even if she’d saved every penny, she wouldn’t have this kind of cash. And he knew she’d paid her uncle’s rent with her first week’s pay.