SAVAGE LOVE (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel) (22 page)

Miller sat up. He moved forward and
fixed his jeans, then grabbed two beers.

“
This
is really nice,
”
Ella said.

“
Takes
us back a little.
”

“
Yeah,
it does.
”

Why didn
’
t you show up that night?
What the hell happened?

“
I
had to go see another MC today,
”
Miller said.
“
It
’
s as bad as it could get now. I
have to ask you something.
”

“
Okay
…”

“
Is
there anything in your past that could get you in trouble?
”

“
Like
what?
”

“
Anything
that someone could pull a warrant for?
”

“
No.
My life has been boring since you.
”

“
I
wouldn
’
t say boring.
Marriage. A kid.
”

“
That
’
s not what I meant.
”

Miller laughed.
“
You mean the outlaw stuff.
”

“
I
never wanted it, Miller. The way it all turned out.
”

Miller inched toward Ella and
kissed her.
“
I know,
darling. I know how you feel.
”

“
Then
tell me about everything,
”
Ella said.
“
What happened
then. What
’
s happening now.
Tell me, Miller.
”

Ella felt her throat tightening.
She forced herself to hold composure. Miller rose to his feet and leaned
against the large rock. He drank the beer and smiled at her.

“
Right
now? This is all about finishing this war. We have a plan to make it happen,
Ella. He
’
ll be taken down.
”

“
Then
what?
”

“
The
town will get crazy for a little while. That we know. The club is going to face
some serious heat. But that has nothing to do with you. You just survive and
press forward. You get the house and you get to do whatever you want with it.
”

“
I
don
’
t want that,
”
Ella said.
“
I don
’
t want that at all, Miller. I don
’
t want to be viewed as some
widow. Or be forced into being a public figure because of what happened.
”

“
Nobody
will ever know what happened,
”
Miller said.
“
I promise you
that. There will be nothing to know. Nothing to find.
”

The heat from minutes ago was gone.
Ella shivered and hugged herself. She hated that everything went to this mess.
Her world revolved around danger and romance. Intense danger and even more
intense romance.

Miller put an arm around her and
they stood there.

It just felt right.

“
I
fucking love you, Ella,
”
Miller said.
“
I
’
ve wanted to say that from the
second I showed up at your door. I fucking love you.
”

Ella shut her eyes, trying to hold
back tears.
“
I love you,
Miller. I never stopped loving you. Ever.
”

“
You
loved someone else.
”

“
No.
Not like I loved you. That was different, Miller. I went with the path I
thought I had to go. What I was told to go. Remember?
”

“
Yeah,
”
Miller said.
“
I fucking remember.  I remember
everything, darling.
”

“
Then
what happened? Why didn
’
t
you show up and save me?
”

Miller pulled Ella away from him.
“
Is that what you fucking think?
”

“
Maybe.
”

“
Jesus
Christ, Ella. I did what I thought was right for you. Look what you got out of
it. A decent life. A family. That
’
s
what you wanted. You said that to me before. So many times. I overhead you
talking to your friends about it. Nobody wanted you with me. Nobody.
”

“
And
you listened?
”
Ella asked.
She felt her blood starting to boil.
“
You
fucking listened? When have you ever listened?
”

“
I
saw you,
”
Miller growled
through gritted teeth.

“
Saw
what?
”

“
You
and Jerry together. I saw it. I was there!
”

Miller turned and kicked the
ground.

Ella felt her heart pounding.
“
You were there. You son of a
bitch. You were there and did nothing.
”

“
Because
it was better that way,
”
Miller said with his back to Ella.

“
Better
what way?
”

“
With
him. You knew. So did I.
”

“
That
’
s why you did nothing?
”

Miller looked back.
“
No, darling, I did plenty. I
told Jerry how to take care of you. How to love you. I told Jerry everything he
needed to know to make it right and to make it work for you and him. I pulled
away and disappeared, giving you time to realize what was in front of you.
”

“
Oh,
how fucking heroic of you.
”

“
Look
what it did!
”

“
Exactly,
Miller! Look what it did!
”
Ella touched her cheek.
“
He
tried to kill me. He stepped on my head and wanted me to die. He
’
s going to come for me and Beck.
He never loved Beck, ever. Never once did he touch me when I was pregnant.
Never talked to my belly, rubbed my back. I shopped alone for everything. When
I went into labor
…”

Ella looked down.

“
What?
Don
’
t hold back on me now,
darling. Tell me everything I missed. Everything I fucked up. Everything I
should have experienced.
”

“
You
chose that.
”

Miller turned and rushed to Ella.
“
Like fuck I did. I wanted what
was right for you. I thought about doing something different, when I took the
patch. I thought as President I could make damn sure you were safe. Then you
got pregnant.
”

“
My
fault, right?
”

“
I
never fucking said that, Ella.
”

“
I
was alone for everything,
”
Ella said.
“
And I had to
see you, hear about you, feeling that knife in my heart. You weren
’
t protecting me. You were
hurting me!
”

“
I
hurt you.
”
Miller gritted
his teeth.
“
I hurt you. You
destroyed me.
”

Miller turned and walked away
again.

“
How
did I destroy you?
”

“
Telling
me you wish Beck was mine.
”

“
You.
Fucking. Asshole.
”

Ella was shaking. She looked down
and thought about throwing a beer bottle at the back of Miller
’
s head. Instead, Ella started to
run.

Right toward Miller.

She launched forward, feet off the
ground, and was on his back. In her mind, she expected Miller to fall. She
expected to be on top of Miller, being in complete control. She wanted to hit
him, kiss him, cry on his strong chest until all her pain went away.

None of that happened though.

Ella hit Miller so hard she lost
her breath. Her arms were around his neck and he barely even stumbled one
measly step.

“
What
the hell are you doing?
”
he
growled.

His hands grabbed at her arms.

“
I
…
you
…
fuck
…”

Miller dropped his left shoulder
and Ella went up and over him. His hands grabbed at her sides, keeping her from
hitting the ground and falling and hurting herself. She then spun around, eyes
wide, facing her beautiful outlaw. His hands were still touching her sides. It
was hot. Really hot. Ella felt her body reacting. But the anger was too fresh,
too real. She made fists and punched them both at Miller
’
s chest, as hard as she could. She wiggled back a
step, out of his grip, and then her hand was sailing through the air. The
cracking sound against Miller
’
s
face seemed to echo for an hour. The hot pain in her hand switched to tingling.

“
No!
”
Ella yelled.

She had so much more to say. But
nothing else would come out. So Ella turned and she started to run. There was
nowhere to go, but she wasn
’
t
going to give Miller the pleasure of telling her what to do or where to go.

“
Ella!
”
Miller yelled.

She kept charging. Worst case, she
could just go until she saw lights and then follow them back into Frelen. Then
she could get Beck
…

“
Beck,
”
she whispered.

Her feet suddenly started to slow.

A few seconds later a hand grabbed
her shoulder.

“
Where
are you going? You can
’
t go
out there. It
’
s dangerous.
”

Ella shook Miller away.
“
Everywhere is dangerous!
”

Miller turned her back around.
“
I fucking know that. I
’
m trying to protect you from
that.
”

“
I
want to slap you again.
”

“
Then
do it. If that
’
s what you
need to do right now, do it.
”

Ella really thought about it. But
she decided against it.
“
I
’
m not going anywhere with you.
”

“
Yeah?
Is that what you think?
”

“
It
’
s what I know,
”
Ella said.

She wanted to be bitchy and
defiant. She wanted to push Miller to the edge and see what he would do.

Miller growled and grabbed Ella. He
ducked down and lifted Ella, putting her over his shoulder. She was then
staring at an upside down skull and Back Down Devil logo on the back of his
leather cut.

“
You
’
re fucking coming back to the
clubhouse,
”
Miller said.
“
This was supposed to be our
romantic date together.
”

“
Put
me down!
”
Ella said.

“
No.
”

Miller rushed to his ride and sat
Ella down. She didn
’
t
bother fighting back anymore. She put the helmet on and only grabbed Miller
when he started to move forward after the motorcycle was started. She held the
sides of his leather cut as he sped back into Frelen.

This was supposed to be our
romantic date together.

Part of Ella was sorry. Part of her
wasn
’
t.

She still hadn
’
t gotten the full story or all
her answers yet.

They arrived back at the clubhouse
and Miller took her by the hand. He stormed her into the clubhouse where the
guys were drinking and partying.

“
Whoa!
”
Blaine called out.
“
They
’
re back a little early!
”

Miller paused. He grabbed a beer
bottle right out of Shay
’
s
hand and threw it at Blaine. Blaine moved and the bottle hit the wall,
exploding.

“
Fuck
off!
”
Miller bellowed.

He then pulled at Ella, taking her
down the hall and to his room. There he tore the door open and threw her to the
bed. As he came at the bed, Ella kicked back, ready. She hated to admit it to
herself but she was insanely turned on by Miller. The rough stuff didn
’
t do much for her but she
trusted Miller. Anything he wanted, she trusted.

Miller hovered over her.
“
I
’
ll
never stop protecting you, darling. I made that promise to myself a long damn
time ago. I
’
m sorry for the
way things turned out. I should have known more than what I did. But I swear to
you, the second I knew Jerry had fucking turned, you were the first thing I
thought of. You and that baby. I sat with Griffin seconds before the bullet
ripped his throat and brain out of his goddamn head and thought about you. You,
Ella, you. Everything is you.
”

Miller pressed his lips to hers.
Ella exhaled through her nose and put a hand to the back of his head. Miller
quickly tore it away and stood up. She put her hands to his legs, not sure
whether to hit him or rip his dick out and go at it. Her body, mind, heart,
everything was confused.