Sasha: The Awakening (The Wallflower Series Book 2) (8 page)

The Vikhrov brothers were truly beginning to piss her off.

“Sasha!”

Justin’s yell for her attention tore her from her thoughts just as she was reaching her office. She turned to him with a forced smile, not wanting to hear any questions on her current mood. “What is it, Justin?” she asked in a disgustingly sweet tone. It was too much, and gave Justin pause as he looked at her from his executive assistant’s desk. But instead of prying into her unusual tone, he merely stated,

“You have a visitor.”

“What? My calendar didn’t indicate any appointments this morning.”

“A drop-in,” he stated simply. Whispering, he leaned over with one hand cupping his mouth, “He seemed to be a pretty important person. Came walking in with the CEO as if they were old buds and said that he was going to wait until you arrived.” Justin pulled out a sticky note and read his messy handwriting with pause. “A mister…Vi-
Vaycrov
?”

Sasha rolled her eyes with a deep sigh. “Where is he waiting?”

“In your office,” he stated before returning to his work.

She walked into the room to find Dmitri standing with his hands behind his back and a warm smile. Instead of returning his amiable greeting, she crossed her arms in an intimidating stance with a raised brow.

“What are you doing at my place of work?”

Dmitri deemed it best not to respond to her line of questioning just yet and instead held out his gift to her. “I’m hoping that this one won’t get thrown away.”

Sasha stared at the bouquet of red roses in wonder. “H-how did you know?”

He chuckled slightly. “I didn’t. But judging by the way you’ve reacted to me every time we’ve come across each other, I guessed that maybe they wouldn’t be well received. I’m hoping after last night, these will at least last an hour.”

Taking the flowers from him, “Don’t kid yourself.”

To her surprise, instead of being insulted, Dmitri merely laughed harder. And her heart responded in kind. She had missed his laughter. It was a rarity, even while they dated. Anytime she had been able to get it out of him, she had felt like the most special woman in the world. It was a gift she was grateful to receive. Sasha took the opportunity of placing the roses on her desk, with her back turned to him, to compose herself. It was becoming harder each time they met to pretend he had no effect on her. Would the time come when she would be completely vulnerable to him again? What would she do then?

“I came to ask you out for lunch.”

“No ploy to get me there? I’m shocked.”

Once again, he didn’t respond to her sarcasm. She was starting to find it hard to look at him, however. Despite her curt responses, he continued to look at her warmly. And, dare she believe, his eyes seemed to glow with something stronger than mere affection as they rested upon her person.

Before she knew it, he was standing directly in front of her. His long fingers traced the softness of her forearm before becoming entangled within her own palm. It was the simplest expression of affection and it had her yearning again for what they had. They stood there for a short time that seemed much longer as they got lost within each other. Their surroundings disappeared as Sasha found herself studying his handsome features.

She remembered lying with him and exploring the planes of his face with the soft pads of her fingers. Her eyes would always wind up entranced by the curvature of his lips and the bleak darkness in his eyes. They had always been hauntingly beautiful. And, now with the soft creases at the corners and the more refined lines, she found him even more breathtaking.

“It’s your choice. And I’m not going to take that away from you,” he finally replied gently. The air became tense again as they battled their need for each other.

As a saving grace, they were torn from their small bubble at the soft knock at the door. Standing in the doorway with a confused expression was Carter
.
               

There was an awkward silence in her office as Sasha tried to search for words at Carter’s appearance. From the intimacy between her and Dmitri, she was certain he would have questions. And, as if an echo of her thoughts, Carter stated hesitantly,

“Um…I’m sorry for interrupting. Your assistant wasn’t at his desk so…” Carter’s eyes continued to travel between the two of them before they settled squarely on Dmitri, who had made no effort to step away from Sasha.

Dmitri eyed the intruder, upset at the interruption and remembering Carter’s apparent date with Sasha the night they were reunited. Not bothering to hide his hostility, he dared to shield Sasha from her guest. Carter read his behavior and knew without a doubt the scene he had just interrupted. The two men’s eyes met across the room in challenge while Sasha looked on in horror at the circumstances.

Trying to reign in the potent tension, she stepped away from Dmitri to approach Carter with a smile. “No, you weren’t interrupting anything. What can I do for you, Carter?”

Carter crossed his arms against his chest and continued to meet Dmitri’s glare. Finally, with a short sigh, his attention returned to her and he asked, “I came to ask if you would like to have an early lunch? It’s a bit short-notice and I apologize for that, but we hardly spoke after that night and I was worried.”

Sasha wanted to hide under the plush rug decorating her office in that moment. She felt slightly disappointed at his invitation. And it was then she realized just how much she wanted to accept Dmitri’s. With that realization, she eagerly sought to distance herself.

“Of course, I would love to,” she smiled. At his return smile, she turned slowly and watched Dmitri approach with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Her breath held, waiting for his response. Could she admit to herself how much she liked him fighting for her? Sasha met his stare head on with a smirk.

“Well, since you seem to have plans, I won’t intrude. However, before I go, I just want to remind you to put these in water. I know how much you love them.” With emphasis on the word ‘love’, Dmitri handed her the bouquet of roses in full view of Carter. It was clear to all of them the romantic interest the roses represented between Dmitri and Sasha. And with that reveal, Dmitri nodded his head to Carter and strolled from Sasha’s office.

Sasha watched his departure in shock at his audacity. She continued to hold the roses loosely in her hands, her fingers playing with the silk ribbon wrapped around the vines. It was hard to admit but she did find them to be beautiful. Distracting herself from the direction of her thoughts, she looked back at Carter.

“Where would you like to go for lunch?”

Pretending as if the awkward and tense incident only moments before had never occurred, after she locked her office, Sasha and Carter made their way out of the building. It wasn’t until they were seated at a cozy café only a few blocks from her place of work that she noticed the tension Carter still exuded. He waited until they had received their orders before finally asking.

“So, it may not be my place but…what was Dmitri Vihkrov doing in your office? Didn’t you two just meet?”

Knowing he was referring to the networking event, Sasha opened her mouth to lie to him but quickly closed it once more. In truth, she held no romantic interest in Carter no matter how much of a great man he seemed to be. He was perfect for her on paper, but there didn’t seem to be the same spark she felt merely standing in Dmitri’s presence. There was an actual fire that warmed her entire body when she saw him. In the moment before Carter’s intrusion, she had faced once again her inability to move on from him. If she couldn’t mature emotionally, she would only end up hurting Carter. And she couldn’t do that. She had the experience of a broken heart; she could never forgive herself if she became a perpetrator of it.

Reaching across the table, she grabbed his hands between the two of hers and gave him a friendly smile. “You have every right to ask. And, this time…I want to tell you the truth.”

At that, his features became suspicious. Leaning back slightly, he removed himself from her grasp and folded his arms across his chest. “Go on.”

She noted the stiffness in his tone and dreaded the words; even while knowing they needed to be said. “That wasn’t the first time Dmitri and I had met.” At his questioning look, she continued, “We dated a few years ago and hadn’t seen each other for some time.”

“Why not just tell me that? What was the point of hiding your relationship?” His face darkened at the realization. “Wait! Please don’t tell me you two are still seeing each other?”

She frantically shook her head. Fear that the conversation was going downhill began to stir within her.

“Do you still have feelings for each other then?”

At that question, she paused. And at her hesitation, Carter had his answer. He snorted in disgust at the turn of events. Shaking his head in disbelief, he began to stand up but was stopped by Sasha’s hand landing on his forearm.

“Stop! Just let me explain. It is way more complicated than it sounds. And…there is a reason we hid our relationship from you.”

“Really? Because it sounds like you were getting your jollies off at making me look like a fool!”

Sasha could understand his anger, but she wasn’t going to allow it to prevent her from explaining herself fully. “Please, just sit back down.”

He seemed to be debating whether he wanted to find out the full truth or not. After a few moments, he finally returned to his seat and leaned over across the surface of the table. “Tell me the truth, Sasha. I really don’t appreciate being lied to.”

  She released a deep sigh and built up the courage. “I met Dmitri three years ago. We only dated for a few months before breaking up and I haven’t seen him since then. I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t a normal falling out. It wasn’t amicable in the least and so, coming across one another the other night was neither planned or a welcome surprise. I didn’t want to bring up baggage like that because I honestly expected to move on with my life and never see him again. To me, our relationship was a mistake that I wanted erased from my past.”

Carter eyed her for a moment, taking in everything she revealed. “Judging by the scene I came across at your office, you two are far from done with each other. In fact, it seems like whatever relationship you had in the past is on its way to being rekindled.” The harshness that had decorated his face before disappeared as he looked upon her with a sense of regret. “I can’t come between that. Tell me…you say that you want to erase your previous history with Dmitri but why was he in your office with flowers? Are you truly being honest with yourself because based on what I saw, nothing was one-sided.”

Sasha was floored by his perceptiveness and knew she couldn’t answer. Because she couldn’t acknowledge the truth and live with herself. “You don’t understand. I would be the biggest fool to fall right back into what we had.”

“Why?” He asked quickly. When she only looked away without responding, he instead inquired, “Who broke up with whom?”

Sasha’s eyes closed, as her mind was flooded with the same memory that had haunted her dreams two years ago. In it, she was always standing in the pristine white hallways of the hospital; everything was a blur except for the intimidating figure of the man she had fallen in love with. Despite their emotional impact, she couldn’t hear his words. All she could focus on was his wrinkled brow and the harsh lines of his mouth as he looked down upon her with a mixture of what seemed to be regret and disgust.

First, there had been an overwhelmingly dark depression that had taken control of her mind and body. There had been a physical weakness that compelled her to stay inside her room and lick her wounds. But then, that same vulnerability had formed an emotional scab she sought to protect with anger at herself and him. Before finally striding into his office, the only way she had found release was through intense physical exercise. As the time had passed, she had compelled herself to return to her former emotional equilibrium by simply forcing herself to forget. But Dmitri’s renewed presence had restored what was lost- the memories and the pain along with it.

She had told herself to ignore what was beginning to fester within the depths of her mind and heart. But as she sat down across from Carter and he asked her simply why she couldn’t fathom being with Dmitri again, despite all the pain and the memories of what had been abandoned, she couldn’t say with enough conviction out loud the truth- that it all came down to fear. Fear of loneliness had made her seek love from her mother, the countless foster families, and finally Dmitri. Voicing it as a reason, admitting to its existence, would feel like a failure. It would mean that even now, she was the same person she had been trying to transform these past few years.

Finally, she replied, “He broke up with me.”

Carter groaned at the news and shook his head. “So, you’re in denial about your feelings out of resentment.”

Her gaze narrowed on him. “No, I don’t resent what happened.”

He laughed. “You see how you didn’t deny you have feelings for him?” He took a sip of the water at his side and scratched at the prickly hair decorating his chin. “Well, whether or not you want to admit the truth, it is clear as day judging by the intense glare he sent my way that he has his eyes set on you. And he doesn’t seem like the type of man who is comfortable with losing.”

“He’s not. But what he isn’t aware of is that I’m not the same woman I used to be. I don’t lose anymore either.”

Carter laughed and winked at her playfully. “Those are some fighting words! I like that.” Just as quickly as the happiness appeared on his face, however, it gradually retreated. “I really like you, Sasha. And I wish your heart wasn’t already occupied, but if it doesn’t work out and you are willing to move on, you should definitely call me.”

“I like you too, Carter…”

“But?”

She wrung her hands in her lap as her gaze drifted from his intense stare. “No buts. I don’t know what is going to happen between Dmitri and me. I would like to say with unwavering conviction that I don’t ever want to be with him again, but I can’t. No matter the circumstances in which we had our falling out, what I felt for him…it was as real as it has ever been for me. I got hurt so badly that even now, I don’t know if it’s even worth trying again.”

“Sasha.” When her gaze finally settled on him once again, he said, “You give the ones you love the most, the power to hurt you more than anyone else in this world. It is thrilling and menacing at the same time. But what makes it worth it is when you finally realize that they love you just as much. You have to trust that the people you love, love you back.”

“Are you speaking from experience?”

A sad smile spread across his handsome features. “Yes, actually I am. But, I got it wrong. However, the possibility of eventually getting it right makes me not regret trying. In the end, it was worth it and having the ability to love someone irrevocably is a gift, not a curse.”

They continued sitting, eating lunch like long-lost friends. Despite their different outlooks, Sasha knew that even at the loss of a potential romantic relationship, she couldn’t allow Carter to simply walk out of her life. Even as a friend, he seemed to just fit.

Dmitri eyed the file in his hands contemplatively. After receiving the call, the information had been faxed over promptly. Though it had taken several weeks to get the correct address and other information, it was finally in his clutches. The only problem was: what should he do with it?

Even as he still lay on the fence, Dmitri stood from his desk and made his way to his office door. Before he could reach the handle, however, a familiar face greeted him. With a mischievous grin, Slade walked into his friend’s large office after giving the shocked Dmitri a quick pat on the back.

“Long time no see, Dmitri.”

Still surprised by his reappearance, it took Dmitri a few moments to gather his voice once more. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be managing the London branch?”

Slade took a seat on the soft leather couch, his arms laid out in a comfortable stretch across the top of the back. Letting out a long sigh, he stated simply, “I just got back last night.”

“What for? You volunteered for that position if I remember correctly. You couldn’t stop talking about going to Europe. What happened?”

He shrugged, “No particular reason. I decided it was best I return to Boston. Now, I won’t lie- London was great. But I actually missed America.”

Not believing him, Dmitri’s brow furrowed at his friend’s explanation. Admittedly, he had been taken aback by Slade’s willingness a year ago to take on the first international branch, but he had had faith Slade was completely capable of getting it successfully off the ground. Even then, the man’s eagerness to uproot his life had been suspicious and Dmitri had believed it had something to do with his familial problems in Korea. But, to his regret, he had said nothing then.

Dmitri wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. Slade had been there for him through his long-standing battle with Nikolai. The least he could do was return the favor. Setting down the file in his hands with his briefcase, Dmitri returned to his desk, leaning against the corner with his arms crossed in a relaxed stance.

“Cut the shit and tell me the truth, Slade. I know there is more to the story than that.”