Sarah Thornhill (12 page)

She made a noise,
huh
! But Pa touched the girl's head, smoothed the black hair.

This girl is Will's own flesh and blood, he said. My granddaughter. Never mind where she come from or what went on or the rights and wrongs of it all.

What's her name, Jack, I said.

He said the word again, and I caught the start of it, Ra something.

Rachel, Ma said. That's what we'll call her.

No, Mrs Thornhill, Jack said.

He started to say the name again.

She'll be Rachel, she said. Good Christian name.

Pa smoothed the girl's hair again, looked away over her head into the fire. Him and Ma must of had words about the girl coming. He'd won out on that. What she was called was something Pa wouldn't fight. And poor thing, what did she care what we called her.

She could do with a bite to eat, Jack said. Been a long hard time for her.

Pa woke up out of wherever he'd gone.

Meg, bring the victuals in here for them, he said. Stand by the fire with her Jack, the two of you wet as fish.

I knelt beside the girl, went to undo her pinny. She pulled away, nearly in the fire she was so determined.

Best leave her, Jack said. Till she gets used to you.

I saw a flicker of the Jack I knew in the way he looked down at me. He put his hand on the girl's shoulder and I put mine over it, felt the coldness of his skin.

Strange for her yet awhile, Jack said. Best take it slow.

Then Ma was coming in with the tray, wanting to put it on the table and have them sit up and eat.

Here by the fire, Mrs Thornhill, Jack said. Be best, I believe.

Took the tray and set it on the hearthrug.

More what she's used to, he said.

They sat on the hearthrug, Jack spooning up the stew as best he could with her on his lap. The girl stuck her fingers in and fished the bits of meat out of her bowl.

That's the way! Pa said. Look at her tuck in! Look at that, Meg!

It was the first life in him since Will died. Almost laughing with the pleasure of watching the girl eat.

Yes, Ma said. All right for tonight, but I can see we got a long road ahead of us.

Yes, well, he said. Time enough, Meg. She's here now. That's the thing. Here among us.

But the girl was asleep, leaning back on Jack, a piece of meat still in her fingers. He stood up with her, and her arms went round his neck and clung, even fast asleep as she was.

Her room's the one next to Mr Thornhill and myself, Ma said. Let her go to bed dirty this once.

Held the door open for Jack, but he didn't go.

Happiest in with me, he said. Couple of cushions on the floor.

No, Jack, she said. I won't have that.

She'll wake up feared, Jack said. Never slept on her own.

Begin as we mean to go on, Ma said. Lay her on the bed, Jack, cover her up, she'll be all right.

They stared at each other, will against will.

Jack pushed past her with the girl and Ma followed. I went after them, watching the lamplight make Jack's shadow big, then small, up the stairs and along the hall to the room that Ma had got ready for the girl. He lay her on the bed, pulled the quilt up. She didn't wake.

Give her a good scrubbing in the morning, Ma said. Won't we, Dolly?

Best go a bit slow, Mrs Thornhill, Jack said. Not used to our ways.

Nonsense, Jack, Ma said. The girl's got to be clean. She'll love it, won't she Dolly, a good hot tub!

Go by what Jack says, I said. Start off just a wipe with the flannel.

That's the idea, Jack said. Take it slow.

I waited for the house to be quiet, crept along the hall to Jack's room. Not for what we'd got up to there before, Jack was too worn and faraway for that. Just to let him know I was there. That I'd keep him company in his wornness and farawayness.

The door was open. He knew I'd be coming along, I thought.

The rain had stopped, the moon was out, enough to see a long sleeping mound in the bed. That was Jack, but there was another mound at his feet that was the girl, coiled up in herself. Blanket on the floor from where he must of covered her up and it slid off. She was awake. Eyes gleaming at me.

Poor thing, I thought. Everything foreign, Jack the only thing you know. But canny enough to creep round till you found him.

Longed to get in with Jack, but the bed too small for three, and I couldn't turn her off, poor thing.

Auntie Dolly look after you, I whispered.

Picked up the blanket from the floor, tucked it round her, kissed the top of her head. She watched me. But never moved, never made a sign. I went back to my bed.

When I come down to the parlour in the morning, she was with Jack by the fire. Still in the dirty pinny. The air in the room unsettled.

Yes, well, you should of taken her back to her own bed, Ma was saying. Not wrapped her up snug like it was her proper place.

Never slept on her own before, Mrs Thornhill, Jack said. Not one night in her life. Not the way they do things there.

Well, this is the way we do things here, Jack, she said. Sooner she learns that the better.

Only a little thing, Jack said. Bit of kindness don't go astray.

All right, Ma said. I can see what I'm going to have to do. She'll go to her bed tonight and I'll turn the key.

Lock her in! I said. That's too hard, Ma!

She wheeled around at me.

I won't have this, Dolly, she said. This answering back. And as for you, Jack Langland, you been with the savages so long you're getting to be one.

Anne rang the bell for breakfast. The girl jumped at the sound, burrowed into Jack.

Rachel! Ma said. Come in to breakfast now! Come along dear, into the dining room! Rachel!

Took her by the wrist, tried to pull her out of the room. The girl was stronger than she looked.

I'll tell her, Mrs Thornhill, Jack said. Let me tell her, in her tongue. She'll go with you then.

Got down on his haunches, made the sounds of that other language, smooth runny words. With those words in his mouth he was a man from another place.

That's enough Jack! Ma said. I'll have no more of that jabber! She's got to learn to talk proper.

Better if Jack tells her, Ma, I said. Till she gets used to us.

I was too old to be spanked, but that was the thought on Ma's face. Pale, she was that cranky.

Then Pa was in the doorway. Went straight to the girl. Put his hand under her chin, looked into her face.

How's my poppet, he said. How's my little girl.

The warmth in his voice the only good thing in that room.

Tell her, will you lad, he said. Tell her how much she means to her Grandpa.

No, William! Ma said. Got to get her in the way of English. Longer we leave it, harder it'll be.

That's well and good, Meg, Pa said. But I want her to hear a kind word.

Jack spoke to the girl. Her eyes went from him to Pa but her face was a mask. Pa leaned down, kissed the top of her head.

Thank you, lad, he said. You're as good a feller as ever drew breath.

But Jack didn't want thanks. He was watching the girl.

What's done is done, Pa said. But you get a chance, do things different, you're a lucky man.

Do what different, Pa, I said. What chance?

Pray God you never have to know, he said.

Come along, quick now William, Ma said. Bring the girl in, we'll get the breakfast done.

I let them go out into the hall, hoping for a word alone with Jack at last. Had the room to ourselves, just the girl stuck to his side. Got our arms round each other. One person again, just for a few heartbeats.

Sarah Thornhill, Jack whispered. Thank God for you.

Don't go again, I said. Not ever.

Not ever again, he said.

Then Ma was at the door.

Come along now Jack, she said. We'll have some food, then I'll get her cleaned up.

In the dining room Jack lifted the girl onto the chair but she slid back down.

Put her on your lap, lad, Pa said. That'll be all right, Meg, the first day.

A stiff silent breakfast. Ma kept pushing a plate under the girl's food where she had it on the cloth. Picked up her hand and closed it round a spoon. The girl pushed the plate away. Let the spoon fall on the floor. Whispered something to Jack but he didn't answer, just gave her another rasher.

After breakfast Ma got the tub ready in front of the fire in the parlour, the hot water, the soap, the white towel. But the girl wouldn't let anyone undo her clothes. Shied away from the steaming water. When Ma waved the soap under her nose,
see,
pretty smell, Rachel
, she lashed out, it flew across the room.

Jack lad, you best do it on your own, Pa said at last. Come along Meg, leave them be. This first time.

Held the door open and she went out. But her face tight. Trouble on the way.

I got myself in the corner where the girl didn't have to see me, listened while Jack spoke to her. Her hands went to the buttons of her dress and finally she let him stand her in the tub and swab her down with the flannel. Got the clean clothes on her, a shift and a dress that had been mine and before that Mary's. Ma had put out stockings too, and soft slippers, but he left them. Sat her on the floor between his knees, the two of them watching the fire. I crept over, bit at a time, till I was beside them. Put my hand on the girl's, she let me leave it there.

Wondering if I done right, Jack said. Soon's I got her on the boat, I wondered.

The girl turned her face up to watch him speak.

Early days, I said. Ma going a bit quick, that's all.

Work itself out, that what you think? he said. That she'll settle?

Pa loves her, I said. Do anything to make her happy. And me her auntie. First niece Thornhills ever had, she'll get such a cosseting.

We sat peaceable for a time. But Ma and Pa might of been listening for the washing noises to stop, they was back too soon for my liking. The girl closed herself up. Jack and me stood with her between us.

Now, Jack, Ma said, we been thinking, Mr Thornhill and myself. Happy to welcome you. You know that. But it'll make it hard for poor Rachel. You being here. That right, William?

Always welcome here, lad, Pa said.

Yes, but not making it easy for Rachel, Ma said. Is it, William? Jack talking in language and all that. Best make a clean break of it. Not cling to what she knows.

So what you're saying, Jack said.

He left the thought hanging.

Yes, lad, just a short time, Pa said. Say a fortnight. Till she settles.

You sending him away? I said. Sending Jack away!

A fortnight, that's all, Pa said. Give her a chance to settle.

For Rachel's sake, Ma said. Wouldn't want to make it harder for her, would you Dolly? And Jack, you can see the sense in that.

Jack stared at Ma like a man struck a blow from behind.

I'll not use the language, Mrs Thornhill, he said. Guarantee it. Not another word.

Not just the language, Jack, Ma said. While you're here she won't settle. That's clear by now.

You could hear it in her voice. Knew she'd won.

Take the skiff, Pa said. See your ma and pa, Jack. Tell the girl you're going for a time, tell her you'll be back, that'll be an end of it. And, Dolly, that's enough, lass, your ma and me made up our minds.

I was starting to argue, but Jack put out his hand to stop me.

Yes, Mr Thornhill, he said. Two weeks. I'll tell her, two weeks. Then I'll be back.

He only got a few words out to the girl and her eyes widened. She cried out, the room rang with her voice. All the time in that silent body there'd been these huge hard cries waiting to get out. Ma and Pa bundled her out of the room between them.

Off you go, lad, Pa called over his shoulder. Look sharp now!

I made to go after them. Could hear them getting the girl upstairs. Ready to wrestle with them, but Jack held me back.

Fetched her all this way, he said. With good reasons, in my own mind. Best give it a fair trial. Your ma might be right. Make a clean break.