Sandman Slim with Bonus Content (22 page)

“Eons ago, there was a war between us angels and the Kissi that raged from the earth all the way to the gates of Heaven. Neither side won.”

“Was Lucifer already in Hell? If you’d asked for his help, he might have come through. I don’t think he’d like a bunch of mad dogs eating up Earth, either. If we were gone, who else would he screw with?”

“No one would ask the Prince of Lies for help. Don’t be stupid.”

“So, it was an option? But you didn’t go for it. Isn’t pride one of the seven deadly sins?”

She looks at me like my mother used to look at me right before she smacked me on the ear. Like Mom, she gets hold of herself before the big explosion.

“As I said, there was a war. Neither side could defeat the other, so we struck a bargain with the Kissi. They could stay and, since humans were naturally chaotic creatures, the Kissi could satisfy their appetites for chaos and destruction within certain specific limits. The Golden Vigil was created to monitor this truce.

“The truce has held for millennia. But lately things have changed. The Kissi activities are becoming more bold and reckless. They openly attack humans. They are involved in wars. Terrorism. Drug and weapons trading. Something has upset the balance.” She takes her hand off the vellum and starts folding it up. “When we heard that Sandman Slim had come to Earth, naturally we thought that he might be the cause of the trouble.”

“Wells called me that name in the car. What the hell was he talking about?”

“Please don’t use profanity here.” She sets the vellum aside. “The marshal was talking about you, you fool. You’re Sandman Slim. The monster who kills monsters. Do you think we don’t know what you were doing in Hell? Fallen angels are still angels. We notice when someone kills them. You have quite a reputation in the celestial realms. That’s why you’re here.”

“I’m not a monster. I’m just a man.”

“You’re a monster to someone. In the Inferno, you’re the bogeyman who frightens the bogeyman. And you’ve bought your talent for destruction back here to Earth. That’s why you’re here. In case you hadn’t noticed, this is a job interview.”

That’s the single scariest thing I’ve heard anyone say since I came home. And this angel is making my skin crawl in ways that even Mason can’t.

“I already have a job, thanks. I run a video store.”

“You’re weak. I can smell the damage from your recent injuries. That’s the only reason you’re here and alive. When we thought that you were in league with the Kissi, there was a death warrant on your head. But after your encounter with Josef, that seems doubtful.”

“He’s a Kissi.”

“Of course. I thought that you would have understood that by now.”

“I think I met one in Hell once. In the arena. Is that possible?”

“Unlike the Hellions, the Kissi can move anywhere in the universe, including into and out of Hell. So, yes, you could have easily met one. What happened?”

“Lucifer was pissed. He threw the thing out.”

“No doubt hoping it would return to Earth to wreak havoc and leave his disgusting kingdom to him alone. How brave.”

“He did walk right up to it and order it out. Have you ever walked right up and started a fight with a Kissi?” She doesn’t answer. “Anyway, if something’s upset the balance of the universe, it probably means that we’re looking for the same person. Mason Faim.”

“Excellent. We have a common enemy. You’ll join the Vigil and we’ll fight the forces of chaos together.”

“No thanks. Your little war sounds like fun, but I have my own work to do.”

Aelita says, “This is God’s work.”

I get up from the table and walk away across the room. I need to be careful. I don’t want to say the wrong thing when she knows that I’m hurt. The bullets in my chest are playing soccer with my ribs. I’d filled Mason’s lighter earlier, so I take out my cigarettes and spark one. Take a couple of big puffs and flick the ashes onto her altar. I’ll admit it. I’m not good at careful.

“Where was God when I was stuck in Hell?” I ask her. “If you knew about Sandman Slim, then you knew I’d been dragged down there alive and was being tortured. But you hosanna-singing sons of bitches couldn’t spare one lousy angel to help me out?”

“Maybe God thought you were where you belonged.”

“He was right. You know why? Because I got to see exactly how the wheels turn in that part of the universe. Now you’ve given me a little snapshot of Heaven. You Heaven-and-Hell types are just the same shakedown artists in different uniforms. I’ve only been kidnapped twice in my life. Once by Lurkers and now by an angel.”

“You understand that since none of Lucifer’s fiends can leave Hell, it must have been Kissi who dragged you down, probably in league with your friend Mason.”

“Thanks. When I’m done with Mason, I’ll know who to go after next.” I grind the remains of my cigarette into the altar and leave them. “All of you celestial pricks. Lucifer’s psychos and God’s lapdogs, you’re out for yourselves, just like everybody else. You don’t care about the world. You cut a deal with the Kissi. I wonder why?”

Aelita stands, very tall and straight, with her hands folded in front of her.

“Tell me. Enlighten me, Sandman Slim.”

“Because they made it to Heaven. Got right up to the gates. So, you cut a deal. You sent the wolves down here among the sheep and asked the wolves to behave. And if they didn’t, oh well. It’s just a few ewes being slaughtered. But now the wolves are hungrier than ever, and you know that sooner or later, they’re going to come knocking on Heaven’s door.”

Aelita shakes her head and gives me that creepy, benevolent-angel smile again.

“You make me so sad, James.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“All right, Sandman.”

“Don’t call me that, either.”

“I hadn’t realized how all those years in the Abyss had warped your mind. You’ve completely lost your ability to feel empathy. I’ve told you what’s coming for humanity, yet you won’t lift a finger to prevent it.” She’s walking over to me, like a kindergarten teacher about to take the white glue away from a kid who won’t stop eating it. “Don’t you feel anything for anyone?”

“No. The only person I cared about was murdered. And you didn’t do anything about that, either, did you?”

“I can help you heal. Your body and your soul. You were an empty vessel when you went into the Abyss and the devil filled you full of poison. Let me fill you with the Lord’s divine light.”

She’s throwing some hardcore angel hoodoo my way. Trying to get control of my tiny, expendable monkey brain. Candy was better at the soothing talk trick—she really had me going back at Kinski’s. But Aelita isn’t getting anywhere. Maybe the difference is that I kind of liked Candy, but Lucretia Borgia here isn’t my type.

“Let me help you, my son.” She reaches out and takes both of my hands in hers. “Become part of God’s great plan.”

“No.”

Aelita’s face turns red and she screams. Tears are streaming down her red face. She takes my hand again and then drops it.

“Abomination,” she whispers. Then she screams, “Abomination!”

Downtown, one of the things Hellions used to complain about was how Heaven had disarmed them before tossing them into the garbage dump. Every angel is born with a weapon. Not something they can lose, but something that’s part of them. A flaming sword. They manifest it with a thought and use it like a handheld nuke. I’d never seen one before Aelita manifested her sword in the soundproof chapel.

I’m still looking at it, kind of hypnotized by the thing, when she sticks it through me. I can feel it go through my chest and come out my back, burning and freezing at the same time.

Then I’m on the floor. I have a weird hallucination that Vidocq and Allegra are standing over me. Then I’m dead.

I DREAM THAT
I’m back on Earth. I dream that I’ve escaped from Azazel and all the pain and madness of Hell. I’m home and I’m drinking beer with Alice, sweaty and happy in bed. I struggle to open my eyes and I see blue skies. I’m waking up in a cemetery. I am home. It isn’t a dream. But why is the moon out during the day?

It’s not the moon. It’s a light.

That’s not the sky. It’s a blue ceiling. I know the smell of this place, but its name is lost down some darkened detour in my brain.

“I WAS DEAD
.”

“Pretty much,” says Kinski. He’s leaning over me, shining a light into my eyes as I lie on his exam table. “But Eugène poured a whole bottle of white nightshade elixir down your throat. It kept your soul from wandering away. After that, it was just a matter of kick-starting your body. How do you feel?”

“All right. Tired, but all right.”

Several of Kinski’s rocks are arranged around the wound in my chest. Others around my head, arms, and legs. The doc takes the stones off me, one by one.

Vidocq and Allegra are at the other end of the table. “I saw you there,” I say. “I thought I was dreaming, but you were there.”

“Yes,” Vidocq says. “I’m so sorry for what happened.”

“You knew those cops were going to snatch me, didn’t you? You told them where I’d be. You set me up.”

“You’ve been so out of control lately. I thought meeting the Golden Vigil and seeing their work would help you to focus your energies. You’re going to kill yourself or some innocent person.”

“So, you handed me over to Homeland Security and a psychotic angel. Is that your idea of group therapy?”

“I had no idea this would happen. Aelita was just going to talk to you.”

I swing my legs over the edge of the table and try to stand. My vision blurs and my head swims. I sit back down.

“I crawl all the way out of Hell just to get kidnapped and sold out by friends all over again. But you know what the funniest thing about this is? Mason didn’t get me killed. You did.” Vidocq is sweating and cold. It’s a fear reaction. Fear and guilt. “How long have you been working for them?”

“I work
with
them, not
for
them. It’s been a while. Half a year. A little more, maybe. You don’t know how things have been getting here. It’s bad and getting worse. Things are quieter now. I don’t know why. But they’ll turn bad again and then you’ll see why I did what I did.”

“Were you working for them before I went Downtown?”

He shakes his head. “No. I’d barely heard of them back then.”

Kinski hands me a glass of some stinking brown tea.

“Drink that down. All of it. Don’t sip it.”

I down the tea in three long gulps. It’s thick and hot and I can feel little bits of twigs and leaves in my mouth. I hand the glass back to Kinski.

“Thanks. That was disgusting.” I look at Vidocq. “At least your lie is a new lie. That’s something. Small mercies, my father would say.”

Allegra is holding on to Vidocq’s arm, like she’s supporting an old man who’s had a stroke but is too proud to use a cane. Her heart is racing. Her pupils are like hub-caps. She’s afraid, but not of me. Of everything. It might not have been such a good idea to bring her into the Sub Rosa world. She’s seen a lot in just a few days. “Were you in on this with him?” I ask.

She looks at Vidocq, then back at me.

“He told me earlier. Look, after the thing on Rodeo and Medea Bava with those feathers and teeth, it didn’t seem like such a bad idea.”

“Okay. Thanks. You can leave with him.”

Vidocq comes around the table. The bottles of potions and poisons sewn into his coat tinkle as he walks. “No, Jimmy.”

“Yes, Jimmy. Get out of here. Both of you.”

“Eugène saved you,” says Allegra. “Aelita about killed your ass.”

“Maybe next time she’ll get lucky and save you two the trouble of selling me out.”

Kinski says, “Why don’t you ease up on these people a little? You brought some of this on yourself.” I can’t read Kinski. His eyes are steady. I can’t hear his heart or breathing. He’s hiding them from me somehow. Maybe Candy taught him some Jade tricks.

“Thanks for saving me, doc. I mean it. I’m going to need to sit here for a while. After that, I’ll be out of your hair. But until then, please stay the fuck out of this.”

Candy is over in the corner of the room. I missed her before. She’s got her back to the wall and is trying to make herself small.

Looking back to Allegra and Vidocq, I say, “You two need to leave now. I don’t want to look at you anymore.” Vidocq starts to say something, but I cut him off. “I should have seen something like this coming. Hell’s a circus run by mental patients. Heaven’s a gated community where we’re the bastard stepkids the real kids hate. Daddy’s little mistake. Where does that leave us on this rock? I believe Aelita’s story about the broken glass starting life. Trash falls from the sky and no one cleans it up because the trash starts talking. Why should anyone expect anything from anyone? How can trash trust trash?”

Vidocq nods. “Right, then.” He looks at Allegra and they walk out together, closing the door to the exam room behind them.

Kinski and Candy start putting things back in cabinets. Bottles. Bundles of dried plants. A tray of desiccated sea horses. Kinski wraps his rocks up in their silk covers and quietly stows them away.

“What’s wrong with your arm?” I ask. His left arm is bandaged up to the elbow. Spots of blood have soaked through the dressing.

“That’s nothing. A couple of kids jumped me last night. They must have been high or something. They weren’t very good robbers. They didn’t get anything. Maybe they just wanted to beat someone up.”

“Did they grab you or did they just start pushing you around?”

“What difference does that make?”

“If they grabbed you, it was probably a robbery. If they started whaling on you, then they were just looking to kick someone’s ass. Which was it?”

“I guess they sort of grabbed me, at first.”

“Then it was a robbery.”

“Yeah, but they didn’t ask for my wallet or pat me down. They just kind of held on and dragged me around.”

“Were they trying to pull you toward a car or into one of these stores?”

“Like they were kidnapping me? No. I don’t think so. They were just high.”

“Who’ve you pissed off? You owe anyone money?”

“No one. It was nothing. Just life in the big city.” He puts the last of the rocks away and turns to me, half smiling. “Look who’s quizzing me about pissing people off. I think you took the gold, silver, and bronze in that event.”