Sand and Clay (6 page)

“Yes, I drew that this morning. Do
you normally have a habit of rifling through people’s things?” She asked
indignantly, trying again to gain the upper hand by putting on a mask of
confidence. She reached out her hand demandingly, insisting he hand it back to
her. He complied and passed it to her, smiling.

“I don’t think you are in a
position to talk about touching other people’s things,” Logan laughed and
pointed at his shirt, that she was still wearing. She bit her lip and grinned. He
got her there. The two stood there silently for a moment, Caroline squeezing
the sketch pad in her hands.

“So, what do you want? Why are you
here?” Caroline asked him, looking up cautiously at him with her chin dipped
down.  Logan took a step towards her so she straightened up and looked him
square in the face. He stopped and stared at her for a moment, trying to
collect his thoughts.

“I didn’t mean for last night to
end the way it did. I want to explain.” He started.

“There is no need to explain
anything to me. You have a girlfriend, Gina seems lovely. I hope you two are
happy together.” Caroline said, rolling her eyes at him. She was trying to be
the bigger person, but she definitely sounded sarcastic. Okay, so she wasn’t
trying all that hard to be the bigger person.

“No, Caroline, that’s not… look, I
know it didn’t go well. But, Gina and I have been over for years. We barely
tolerate being around each other. At least, I can barely tolerate being around
her. She is not the woman for me.” Logan told her.

“If you two are over, why did you
call her your girlfriend. I saw you kiss her, for God’s sake. I mean, it’s one
thing to have embarrassed me like that last night but then you come here and
want to lie to me? Wow, you really are a typical rock star, huh? Just use
people and then toss them aside. I think it is time for you to leave now,”
Caroline said angrily, pointing towards her front door. Logan didn’t move.

“Caroline, she is my manager. She
controls pretty much everything about my life. I can’t just break up with her
without losing a shit ton of money. Plus she is a vengeful person, she would
destroy me. With all of her music business connections, she would take me from
A-lister to someone who can’t even get a show in Las Vegas. It’s just
complicated, but I don’t love her. It’s just business.” Logan explained to her,
trying to sound convincing.

He knew that this wasn’t going over
well, there was really no way to explain who Gina was. He had to try though. Meeting
Caroline had changed his life, something about her smile and even her
squinting, angry eyes were overwhelming him in a way he had never experienced. She
drove him crazy and frustrated him, but he couldn’t help seeing past that wall
she put up to the tender and vulnerable girl behind. She was so beautiful,
intoxicating, and he knew he couldn’t let her fall through his hands.

“I don’t need to hear it, Logan. She
is your girlfriend, nothing else matters to me. I am not that kind of girl. Just
go.” Caroline walked to the front door and opened it for him.

“Caroline, I know you are not.”
Logan began to sound like he was begging, he walked towards her and grabbed her
arms and pulling him towards her. She let go of the door and let him pull her
against him. She was trying to stay angry but his skin against hers was like
electric heat. He pulled her against him tighter and all she could think was
how intoxicating he smelled, a mixture of shower gel and paint. Odd but
delicious, it was making her head spin. Her knees went a bit weak and she
couldn’t help but lean into him.

“Caroline, you did something to me.
When I met you that morning in the coffee shop, something changed in me. I
hadn’t realized how unhappy I was until I looked into your eyes and saw what
happiness could be. The rest of the week, you were all I could think about. Every
day all I could think is how I want to be waking up next to you, not Gina. She
and I fight nonstop, she acts like I have to wait on her every need and do
everything that she says. I’m not her boyfriend, I’m her hostage. I can’t break
up with her because she will ruin my career. She has threatened to multiple
times. I don’t know what to do. I had just given up and accepted that that was
my life, but then you walked into that coffee shop and shoved all my papers to
the side along with the rest of my life!”

Caroline blushed, smiling as she
remembered the first time that they met. She felt so warm and perfect in his
arms, like they had been made just for her. She looked up into his eyes, those
piercing and deep, blue eyes that she just gets lost in.

“I can’t accept that that is my
life anymore. I don’t want to go through each day dreading coming home,
dreading seeing Gina every day. You have been my every thought for days, I
don’t want to lose this. I know I screwed up last night, I am such a jerk. I
had no idea what I was doing and I just panicked. Can’t we try this again?”
Logan said softly, touching his forehead to hers. Caroline’s breathing became
shallow as she felt him breathing against her cheek.

“Logan.” Caroline whispered, almost
in a whine. “Don’t do this to me. You have a girlfriend. I can’t be the other
woman. I don’t’ want to be with you.” She looked up into his eyes, down at his
full and perfect lips, and then back at his eyes. She felt her stomach flip
flopping in her abdomen.

“You don’t mean that. Caroline, you know there is something
here. I can see it in those beautiful hazel eyes, God Caroline, your eyes are
intoxicating.” He whispered, pulling her closer to him.

His arms wrapped tighter around her
waist and he leaned into her pressing his lips against hers. She didn’t even
bother trying to stop him, she wanted it too. Her mind went completely blank as
her hands came up and locked behind his head. Their lips refused to part as
they fell deeper and deeper into their kiss, losing track of time and
everything around them. All she could think about was how perfect he felt
against her.

Every reason to say no was gone and
all that was left was the undeniable chemistry between them.  Logan kicked the
front door closed and then lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist
and he carried her into the bedroom. He gently dropped her on the bed and
climbed on top of her.

Caroline stared into his eyes that
had turned a smoldering dark, blue color and she shivered with intrigue and
excitement. He leaned down and kissed her again, their hips pressed together
and their arms wrapped around one another. The moment was heating up by the
second and the two were completely lost in one another.

RING RING! RING RING!

Caroline jumped as the phone rang, startling her. They both
looked towards the phone on her nightstand and then back at one another. He
smiled at her and then kissed her again, they had both agreed to just ignore
the phone because this moment was too important to let pass. Caroline smiled in
their kiss and ran her fingers through his hair.

The phone continued to ring for another minute and then
switched over to voicemail, making a few clicking sounds. Caroline’s voice came
on the voicemail with her greeting telling people to leave a message at the
beep. She couldn’t help but blush when she heard it, she always thought her
voice sounded like a four year-old voice’s through the phone.

She hoped Logan wasn’t listening to it, but then she doubted
he was because she could physically feel how distracted he was against her. The
answering machine beeped and Aralia’s voice loudly rang out through the
speakers.

“
Caroline! Get your ass out of bed. I know you are
probably moping because of that jackass Logan, so I think we need to go out
tonight and just get drunk, hit on hot guys, and forget all about that jerk. You
don’t need him, I mean what kind of asshole hits on you when he has a
girlfriend. You are way too good for that guy, you are nobodies other woman! Anyhow,
girlie, give me a call back soon- I want to be dancing up against strangers
tonight!”

The phone then beeped and the room
went silent. When Aralia had begun talking about Logan, the two of them had
frozen in place. Both staring into each other’s eyes while listening to the
message. Logan sat up and swung his feet off the bed. Caroline sat up behind
him and pulled her knees up to her chest. The two were silent. Logan dropped
his head and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Car.” Logan sighed
again, pushing his hair back with his hand. He turned to look at her.

“You deserve better than this.  I
shouldn’t of come here.” he said. Caroline nodded, not really meaning it.

“Logan, she is right. I don’t want
to be the other woman. We shouldn’t have even done this. You have a
girlfriend.” Caroline said, shaking her head. The two were silent again for a
few minutes. Logan turned and moved back onto the bed, laying his arm across
her legs.

“Caroline, I want to be with you. You
want to be with me too.” he whispered, his other hand brushing some stray hair
out of her face.

“Are you going to break up with
Gina?” Caroline said, looking up into his eyes. Her thoughts were begging him
to say yes, just waiting to hear it come out of his mouth. That he would pick
her, that she meant that much to him. He was silent for a moment and his hand
dropped from her face. He looked down.

“I can’t.” He said simply, hanging
his head, feeling ashamed. Caroline could feel the tears welling up in her eyes
and a knot building in her chest.

“Get out.” She said softly, trying
to hide the shaking in her voice. Her knees were pulled tighter against her
chest and she leaned her chin on them, refusing to look up at him.

Logan squeezed her leg softly,
leaned over and kissed her forehead, then stood up. He adjusted his shirt and
then walked toward her bedroom door. He stopped in the doorway and looked back
at her, pausing there. She still wouldn’t look up at him.

“Caroline, please, don’t throw us
away. You know there is something here.” Logan said, his hand against the door
post. She didn’t say anything. She knew if she opened her mouth right now, she
would just start crying. So, she just sat there looking down at her feet,
concentrating really hard on keeping the tears from rolling down her face.

Logan stood there for another
moment, but then realized that he wasn’t going to get a response from her. He
hung his head and shook it, then pushed his hair back out of his face. He
glanced at her one more time and then walked out. A few moments later, Caroline
heard the front door open and then close. She stopped holding her breath and
let the tears drip down her cheeks.

She just sat there and sobbed for
about five minutes until she could finally get her breathing under control. She
laid back in bed, stretching herself out and staring up at the ceiling. She
couldn’t cry anymore, there was just no more tears coming. She breathed deeply
and just allowed herself to be quiet and do nothing.

Her thoughts were rushing at her
like boulders rolling down a hill. She couldn’t even begin to wrap her brain
around the last hour. Logan Clay had just been in her apartment. One of the
most famous rock stars of her time had not only been standing in her living
room but had pretty much confessed his love for her. Okay, so she knew she was
getting ahead of herself.

He didn’t say he loved her, but it
certainly felt that way. He had kissed her. She had just kissed Logan Clay. Logan
Clay had just been in her bed! Kissing her! She felt like she had just woken up
from a dream and that it had never actually happened. It just was so
unbelievable. Caroline was nothing special, at least that is what she always
told herself. She certainly wasn’t a celebrity. Her family was rich but she
lived a pretty average life. She had never met a celebrity before Logan and she
didn’t ever think she would. She didn’t live in that world, but she had just
been kissing one of Hollywood’s most famous bachelors.

Caroline rolled off the bed,
sitting on the edge. She grabbed at the phone on the table and dialed Aralia’s
number, waiting for her to pick up. The moment Aralia answered the phone,
Caroline chimed in without giving her a second to talk.

“Aralia, we are going out. Put on
your glitter stilettos because this is going to be an insane night we will never
remember.” Caroline said to her friend with a chuckle at the end. Then Caroline
just hung up the phone without giving Aralia even one chance to say anything. Caroline
immediately stood up and walked over to the closet and started pulling things
out and tossing them on the bed. It was a Sunday but she didn’t care, tonight
was going to be a party night. It was early afternoon at this point, but she
knew of several good weekend happy hours to get the day started.

After a few more minutes, Caroline
found an assortment of clothes that she liked. She had picked out a short
silver skirt that hit her mid-thigh and showed off a lot of leg. Her top was
sheer and a light pink, almost blush, color that was very light and flowing. A
tighter camisole underneath showed off her curves under the sheer top. Her hair
was freshly washed and blown into soft curls down her shoulders and her shoes
were pink stilettos that gave her an extra five inches and lifted her in all
the right places.

Caroline gave herself the once over
in the floor length mirror in her bathroom and twirled around. Smiling, she was
pleased with herself and couldn’t help but thinking that Logan was really going
to miss out on something great. Her emotions were continuously bouncing between
being angry at him, thinking he was an idiot, to missing him and wishing her
fantasy could come true. Caroline sighed at herself in the mirror, tossed her
hair over her shoulder, and walked out of the bathroom. Logan was not going to
cross her mind again tonight, she vowed to herself.

Chapter Seven

Caroline opened her eyes trying to
figure out what the sharp, piercing sound was. She was staring at her bedroom
ceiling and turned her head to the side to look at the clock. She grimaced as
she realized her head was pounding and that the simple motion of turning her
head had been like marbles were rattling around in her skull. She squinted at
the clock until it finally came into focus, then her eyes flew open and she
jumped straight up out of bed.

“CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!” Caroline kept
repeating to herself as she jumped around her bedroom throwing her stuff in a
bag and changing clothes.

Her clock said 10:37am which was
over an hour and a half past the time that she was supposed to be at work. Caroline
was still wearing her party outfit from last night, her makeup was a bit
smeared and way over the top for business casual, and her hair was pointing in
every direction except the right one. She was mentally kicking herself for
being so stupid to go out on a Sunday night and drink so much.

The night had been great though,
she couldn’t deny that. There was a point into the evening that everything was
spotty in her memory afterwards but up until that point, she and Aralia had
really enjoyed themselves. She even remembered dancing with several different
men last night, and possibly even a little more. She and Aralia had done shots
most of the night, which is why she had gotten drunk so quickly. Usually she
was a wine or beer kind of girl, but last night had been all about the hard liquor.

Caroline finished getting dressed
for work and rushed out of her bedroom. She was looking around for her purse in
the kitchen when she heard a noise in the living room. She poked her head
around the corner to peak into the living room.

Aralia was sprawled out across the
couch, one leg and arm hanging off. Aralia worked nights so Caroline wasn’t
even going to bother waking her up, however, she saw her purse sticking out
from under Aralia. She tip toed over and pulled the handles out from under
Aralia gently, but it wouldn’t budge.

Caroline gave it a harder tug and
it finally came out, pushing Aralia to the side. She paused for a second to see
if that had woken Aralia but Aralia just moaned and continued snoring. She went
back into the kitchen and the clock said 11:03AM, she was so late. She opened
her purse to find her phone and let out a nervous sigh when she saw 4 missed
calls from work. She quickly texted her boss to apologize and say that she was
on her way, then headed straight out the door for work.

Normally, Caroline would have
stopped at the coffee shop for her Monday morning coffee but she was too late
today to treat herself to that. There was also a nagging voice in the back of
her mind telling her she wasn’t ready to walk into the place she had met Logan
at only one week ago. She briskly walked past the shop, rushing to get to work.

Her mind was already back at that
moment a week ago when she first saw Logan. She couldn’t believe how much the
last week had changed her life. She had never been a hopeless romantic and had
never even been in love before. She had been in some great relationships but
they all had stemmed out of friendships and while that attraction had been
there, she had never fallen head over heels and been out of control of her
emotions.

As Caroline walked up to the doors
for her work, she felt a tear in her eye and quickly wiped it away. She felt
like she had been crying way too much recently. Time to get to work and put
away any silly thoughts of some romantic fairytale, she told herself. She
walked through the doors and braced herself for the fallout that she knew she
would get from her boss for being so late. Time to get back to life, time to
get back to the real world.

~**~

Logan didn’t work the average
Monday through Friday, nine to five pm time schedule like the average American.
Every day was different depending on if he had a concert that evening,
traveling for a tour, doing an interview, sound check, recording, and more. That
was why he loved being a singer though because there was never a dull moment.

He knew he could never survive a
cubicle job because his soul was rock and roll. He thought in musical notes and
dreamed in lyrics. However, lately his dreams had only been of one thing. He
dreamed of the woman he had spent hours painting last week, remembering every
detail of her face as he brushed her into the canvas.

Monday morning had come and gone,
but Logan was still laying in bed. He had been awake for hours but just stayed
there, staring at the ceiling. His bedroom was a dark red color with velvet
drapes and a large four poster bed draped in more velvet. He hated the
decorations in this room. Gina had done it, she loved the dramatic and the over
the top looks.

Every time he looked at that
crushed velvet, he felt irritated with her. He felt that today but it was mixed
with something new, something deeper than irritation. Logan had always been an
easy going guy, he got along with everyone and went with the flow. He didn’t
make friction because he never cared enough to be in that situation. He kept
his feelings to himself, he was private and guarded, and the only time his real
feelings came out was through his music.

But he hadn’t been guarded
yesterday. His mind replayed his interaction with Caroline and he felt a swelling
in his chest that ached. He swallowed and took a deep breath, pushing the
feelings away. He didn’t want to feel it anymore, he didn’t want to feel
anything. He pushed himself up out of bed and walked over to the window,
pushing the curtains open.

His easel was in the corner and he
pulled it over to the window, picking out a clean canvas and some paints from a
table near the corner. His bedroom was very big and sectioned into multiple
areas, the section with the bed and closet, the bathroom and changing area, and
then a lounging area. He had changed the lounging area into an art room which
was the only area of his penthouse that Gina had let him have. He had to fight
her for it though, because she wanted to decorate and control everything.

Logan picked up a brush and dipped
it in some paint. He looked out the window to find some inspiration over the
city’s building tops. He didn’t find anything out the window that inspired him
and instead started painting what was in his mind. He imagined Caroline sitting
in her window sketching that old woman on the bench. He began to draw her as if
he was outside her window looking in.

Time started to go by quickly as he
got into the painting, really focusing on the window and its trim, while trying
to not accentuate the woman inside the window. He had drawn her out but hadn’t
painted it yet and so she wasn’t actually part of the painting yet. He was
avoiding painting her, he wasn’t consciously thinking about it, but he was
taking more time than was necessary painting a window surround.

Logan wasn’t paying attention to
anything but what he was painting, so he was startled when he felt someone slip
their arms around his waist.

“Hey, baby.” a sultry voice
whispered into his ear. His jaw tightened in tension as he continued painting.

“What’s up.” he responded dully to
Gina.

“Well, shit, someone is being
cranky today.” Gina scoffed, annoyed, and let go of him, giving his back a
little shove.  He took a step forward to balance himself and then turned around
to look at her.

“What the hell, Gina?” He was
clearly angry at her. “What do you want?”

“It’s 5:30pm. You have sound check
in two hours, you need to start getting ready because we have to leave soon. What
are you even doing in here all by yourself? You could be preparing instead.”
Gina began to lecture him.

“I wanted some time to relax, Gina.
I practiced plenty. I just did Madison Square Garden two days ago, remember? I
think I can handle tonight’s small party.” Logan said.

He had a job at a private party for
a rich wall street guru event that was paying him a ridiculous sum of money,
especially for a Monday night. Tomorrow he had to be on a national talk show
almost before the sun would be up.  He lived quite a busy life but he was an
adult and could take care of his own schedule. Gina seemed to think he couldn’t
even take a step without her guidance.

“Fine, Logan, just leave everything
to chance. Just hurry up and get dressed, we need to get going. We have a
packed week, I’ve scheduled a bunch of interviews on national talk shows the
next three mornings to promote the tour this weekend, ending in a bigger talk
show on Friday. Plus we need to pack everything up to leave.” Gina was looking
down at her phone, rambling off a to do list.

Logan tuned her out and went to the
closet to change while she followed him around and continued talking. He
changed into some leather pants and a loose fitted top, ran some mousse through
his hair and tousled it, and finally pulled on some black army boots. It was a
very rock and roll outfit. He didn’t like dressing that way generally, but Gina
was his manager and insisted that this needed to be his image. He was more of a
jeans and crop top kind of guy, with maybe an open sweater at most.

Logan had a six month long tour
about to start this Friday that spanned America and even went international. It
had been scheduled for awhile but Sunday morning he had been ready to cancel it
because he didn’t want to leave New York City. However, after how poorly
yesterday went with Caroline, Logan wanted nothing more than to leave this city
and just get away from everything and completely forget about the last week. But
the prospect of going on a six month long trip with Gina by his side every
second was just a nightmare.

Until he had met Caroline, these
things didn’t really bother him. He just didn’t care and hadn’t really invested
anything real into it, he hadn’t invested anything real into himself. He kept
his emotions hidden in his music and art instead.

He finished getting ready and
headed out of the penthouse to go to the event for the night. Gina never went
to smaller events, she said they weren’t worth her time. So, he liked them best
because he had more control of the time and enjoyed being able to hear his own
thoughts.

She instead would spend the night
at home planning more appearances for him as usual. She was a very hands on
manager even though that is not what she had planned in life. The two had met
at an open mike night before he had become famous and they just had an instant
sexual attraction. She was like an addictive drug to him and just was suddenly
his whole life, controlling him with her intoxicating sexuality.

She had just finished business
school and decided that it was her mission in life to make Logan famous. She
knew that he was a painter and that he loved music, but that he didn’t see it
as his lifelong passion or career. She thought differently though and through a
lot of hard work, she got his music out there and he quickly took off to the
top of Hollywood’s A-List.

If he was being honest with
himself, he had to admit that it has been an amazing journey becoming Logan
Clay, the Rock star. He likes the fame, he loves his music, and he enjoys the
luxurious lifestyle and he owed all of that to Gina. He still got to paint recreationally
every once in awhile so he enjoyed that, but he didn’t get to put the time into
it he really wanted to.

Logan wasn’t sure when the romance
between Gina and him had fizzled but he just knew that it wasn’t there anymore.
When they met, they were both young and fresh faced with little life
experience. He was the unknown Logan Clay and she was the recent college
graduate, Gina Vile.

They were about the moment and
enjoying life to the fullest, however, now Gina was all about the fame and
money. Logan couldn’t complain, he loved those things too but he resented that
they had taken the place of their romance and subsequently, their love. The
more and more fame that Gina tasted, the less time she had for them. She spent
more time with Logan Clay the brand, then Logan her boyfriend. Logan couldn’t
help feeling guilty now that he had fallen so deeply for another woman.

He owed Gina everything, she had
made him Logan Clay, the Rock Star. He owed his entire lifestyle and career to
her and she had made him and his work her entire life. She had given up
everything for him, her entire future. She may be frustrating and controlling,
but he had to appreciate everything she had done and still does for him.

Gina didn’t deserve him being
unfaithful and he knew that he had really stepped over a line yesterday that he
had never thought he was capable of. He had never been that type of man. Even
as a celebrity who tabloids liked to make into a womanizer and print all types
of picture with him even standing near another woman, he was never that
personality.

He had always been a one woman man
and infidelity was out of the question, rather he was a respectful and honest
person. But he wasn’t yesterday. He sat back in the limo seat on the way to the
event and sighed, feeling the guilt come over him. He closed his eyes but could
only see Caroline. This was going to be a long week.