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Authors: Sarah Robinson

BOOK: Sand and Clay
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Chapter Five

 

The concert hall was packed full
when they arrived, shoulder to shoulder, with practically no room to move. When
the women first entered the arena and showed the usher their tickets, they were
surprised not to have to fight through the crowds because the usher escorted
them instead behind some red velvet ropes and to a separate hallway that headed
down the length of the auditorium.

They walked to the end of the
hallway and then took a right through some plush golden curtains which led them
out to the front row by the stage. He showed the women their seats which were
literally front and center, Caroline got nervous because there was no way that
Logan would miss her now. She ran her hands through her hair, tossing it and
hoping that it looked okay. She pulled on her blouse, rearranging it several
times until she found a way that looked the best, or at least not the worst.

The crowd was already extremely
loud, but the moment the lights dimmed and spotlights tagged the stage, the
crowd began to roar. Aralia and Jackie jumped up and waved their arms in the
air, screaming along with the crowd and so Caroline followed suit but stood
there rather awkwardly swaying side to side instead.

She was just as excited as her
friends but didn’t want to seem like a groupie in heat if Logan were to come
out and see her. She laughed at herself for that thought, she doubted that he
would even notice her or even remember her. With all these fans in the crowd,
there was no doubt in her mind that she would be just another blip on his radar
of fans.

Some music started coming out of
the speakers and the lights went completely dark as a hush came over the crowd,
eagerly anticipating the start of the show. Suddenly spurts of fire and sparks
roared up from the back of the stage illuminating a sole shadowy figure. Guitar
strumming came out of the amplifiers and roared throughout the entire crowd, a
heavy rock and roll solo that lasted for about 45 seconds before the lights
flashed on and Logan was spotlighted.

Suddenly the other band members
were visible and music filled the area. Logan swaggered forward to the front
microphone with the dramatic manner expected of rock stars. He slung the guitar
he had been playing around his back, grabbed the microphone, and began to sing.
Caroline was at most six feet away from him, drowned in the crowd of girls
screaming and singing along to his music.

Logan wasn’t even glancing her way,
his eyes were squinted at some times from the hot stage lights or looking above
her out further into the crowd. This only confirmed her theory that he had
never even given her a second thought. The front row started to fill up even
though all the seats had already been full, but women were apparently moving
forward to get next to the stage.

Jackie and Aralia hollered along
all throughout the first song, singing their loudest since they all had
memorized every one of his songs. She had been listening to his albums since
the moment they came out, so she couldn’t help but sing along too.

As the first song came to an end,
Caroline began feeling a little more outgoing and joined her friends in their
raucous dancing and singing. For the next two songs, she just put the thought
of the Logan she had met out of her mind, and thought only of the CD Logan that
she had been singing along to for years. His songs were loud and upbeat, but
not deafening and illegible. He had several guitar solos that pretty much
brought the roof down with the screaming fans excitement. Caroline admired his
musical talent, his deep and almost rustic voice, and the way he was able to
move seamlessly across a stage as if he had done it all his life. She swayed
with the music, pumped her arms with the beat, and laughed with Jackie and
Aralia like a bunch of young school girls. She hadn’t felt this way in awhile
and she loved it, a feeling of freedom and being herself, shedding the
invisible mask of stoicism and properness that she usually wore.

After about ninety minutes of
singing, performing, crazy stunts, exploding fireworks, and nonstop dancing,
Logan stepped up to the microphone before the final song in his set.

“This song is new and you are the
first audience to hear it!” Logan exclaimed, the crowd cheered in excitement.

“It’s a little story about a girl
and a boy, but aren’t they all?” Logan said, winking at the crowd.

He took a few steps back then and a
stage hand rushed out a stool to him. The lights dimmed and yellowed a bit,
creating a romantic ambience as he perched himself on the stool. The rest of
the band had left the stage and all the theatrics had dulled. It was just Logan
holding an acoustic guitar, leaning on a stool in front of a microphone. The
melody slowly began as the spotlight centered on him and the crowd was silent,
excited to take in this new piece of composition.

Caroline sat down in her seat, as
most of the audience followed suit. She had never heard any slower songs from
Logan, especially any acoustic songs. His voice turned from the louder, deep
rocker voice to more of a throaty and husky soft sound as he serenaded the
microphone. There were random bursts of girls screaming or cooing towards the
stage throughout most of the song as he began ending the first verse and broke
into the chorus with a bit more vigor than before.

Caroline had been tuning in and out
but suddenly she caught a line of the chorus and her entire body went stiff,
completely paralyzed with her eyes wide, staring at him. She couldn’t of heard
him correctly, she thought to herself. So, she sat there, unable to take a single
breath until he had finished his second verse and headed back into the chorus.

 


…hazel eyes over hazelnut
coffee, her upturned nose, and her stubborn pose. She rules the roast as she
scoffs into her cup, and rolls her eyes as if I’m not enough.”

 

Caroline was still frozen in place,
her breath shallow and quiet as she tried to pull every word out of his mouth
and straight into her ears. Was he talking about her? She had hazel eyes, she
definitely had been pretty stubborn with him, but it was warranted, she
reminded herself. This song was definitely not about her though, couldn’t
possibly be.
 

 

“She tossed my music, like she
tossed my heart,

her little button nose like a
cupid’s dart.

Can’t stand her mouth because
her tongue is sharp,

her words cut the strings on my
harp.

 

but she is the sour that made my
day sweet,

the prettiest lips I should
never want to meet,

and the shiniest eyes I never
want to leave,

through my heart strings, she
started to weave.

 

Aralia turned to Caroline, her eyes just as wide. She
grabbed Caroline’s forearm and squealed, bouncing up and down in her seat.

“Caroline, is that you? He is talking about you!” Aralia
said while Jackie leaned over to get in on a piece of the conversation.

Both girls were staring at her as if she was holding in a
secret. She didn’t even turn to look at them, her eyes were frozen on Logan and
her hands clutching the arm rests. Caroline kept telling herself that they were
wrong but all she could hear was his voice and the soft lyrics.

 

Those hazel eyes hide her
chained up heart,

but her play is over, now it’s
my part.”

 

With those last lines, Logan turned
to look directly at Caroline. It was the first time he had looked at her
throughout the entire concert and she felt her entire body go weak with the attention.
His eyes went straight through her and she could actually feel the heat sear
her skin from his gaze. Caroline continued to ignore the girls for the last bit
of the song and just focused on Logan. Finally, he finished his love song and
the lights went dark on the stage. The show was over.

The crowd started to cipher out the
exits, talking excitedly about how great the show was. Jackie and Aralia
started pushing Caroline towards the end of the front row. The two girls were
excitedly trading thoughts about the performance, but their eyes were still
trained on Caroline’s face trying to figure out what she was thinking. She
smiled at them, putting on a false air of confidence.

“Ready to go?” Caroline said to
them. They shrugged yes and followed her down the row of seats towards the end.

“What did you think of the show,
Caroline? Wasn’t it wonderful?” Aralia said behind her, Jackie agreeing
quickly.

“It was wonderful, he is very
talented.” Caroline turned her head to tell Aralia.

Aralia smiled at her, then looked
confused for a second. Caroline couldn’t tell why until she turned back around
to look forward and walked right into the chest of a tall, broad man wearing a
black t-shirt that said “SECURITY” on it. She stumbled backwards a step,
tripping on Aralia’s feet, who then tripped on Jackie’s feet like a pile up on
the highway. The girls collected and righted themselves, turning to look at the
man.

“Sorry about that, sir. I didn’t
see you there.” Caroline apologized and then tried to squeeze past him towards
the exit but he stepped back in her way. She looked surprised at him and Aralia
put her hand on the back of Caroline’s arm in a show of support.

“Mr. Clay has invited the three of
you to join him backstage. Follow me.” the tall man said in his deep and
ominous voice and then turned around and began walking towards the edge of the
stage. The three girls looked at each other and then quickly followed him
backstage.

Jackie and Aralia were quickly
following Caroline, clearly excited and eager to go backstage. The girls had
been to several concerts together over their long friendship, but never had
been backstage at any of them. They followed him through a black door at the
side of the stage which led to a long hallway with vinyl floors and dingy white
walls cluttered with posters from concerts that had been held there in the
past. When they got to the swinging double doors at the end, he thrust them
open like they were two light pieces of paper.

The girls scurried behind him
eagerly, excited, but all Caroline could think of was who was waiting back
stage. A man she had only met once and yet had just heard their exchange turned
into a love song in front of thousands of witnesses. She knew that she was in
dangerous territory, with the butterflies in her stomach still threatening to
betray her fake confidence.

Musicians drew inspirations from
many areas of their lives, often turning nothing into something. The song might
have been based off of their meeting, but that is all it was, just a song to
sell albums and draw in fans. She could be honored that she was a muse for him,
but knew that she shouldn’t fool herself into thinking it was anything more
than that.

However, there was still that
little tiny voice in the back of her head that lived off of romantic comedy
movies and fairytales and was begging her to keep that door open.

Behind the double doors at the end
of the hall was another perpendicular hall that almost looked like a boring
office building with lots of doors on either side of the hall going down each
side as far as they could see. The man turned left and walked down to the first
door on the right that had a large golden star on it.

He tapped on the door quickly
twice, then slowly three times. He then stepped back and stood in a military
stance, waiting for someone to come open the door. The girls dropped back and
Caroline took a step behind Jackie and Aralia, partially hiding herself from
immediate view. Her nerves were on edge and her stomach was flopping around
like a fish on land.

The door swung open and a bleach
blonde, beautiful woman came swinging out towering over all the women. She
glanced at them, then strutted past them going down the hall. Caroline couldn’t
help but watch her saunter off with jealousy over her tall, thin frame and the
fact that she had just come out of a room alone with Logan. She knew for sure
now that her daydreams were just that, only dreams. He was a musician. The
blonde model was the type he would be surrounded by, not her short, brunette
frame.

The security guard motioned them to
enter through the open door, but didn’t move from his spot. Jackie and Aralia
rushed in excitedly with Caroline lagging behind slowly, trying to stay in the
background. They walked into a room that seemed larger than her entire apartment.
There were multiple lounging sections with groupings of chairs and couches as
well as a fully stocked bar towards the back, a mini stage to one side with
musical equipment piled up, and a curtained off corner hidden by a thick velvet
curtain.

There were several people
throughout the room drinking and partaking in other activities you might expect
to find back stage at a rock concert. Logan was nowhere in sight, which Jackie
and Aralia didn’t seem to notice as they were already at the bar making drinks
and talking to several handsome men who looked like they were musicians or
stage hands.

Caroline walked awkwardly further
into the room, putting her focus on some intriguing art pinned to the wall. The
room was a bit loud but she found herself tuning them out and trying to just
relax and breathe out her anxiety. She glanced towards the farther side of the
room and saw that Aralia and Jackie were settled into different couches with
groups of men and some more model-type women.

They were laughing and clearly
enjoying themselves, she smiled for them but that wasn’t her type of fun. She
wasn’t interested in being surrounded by groupies that were most likely
impaired from multiple substances. She turned back to look at the next painting
on the wall, an abstract piece with swirls of colors seeming to go in a certain
pattern she couldn’t quite figure out.

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