Salvaged to Death (3 page)

“A strong-willed health aid would work well with Abby. We could hire someone. You wouldn’t be alone.”

“How would we afford that?”

“Wherever I go would pay well, of course. I would send money.”

“You said you weren’t going to leave.”

“For the right career opportunity or amount of money, anything is possible.”

His frustration with her was palpable. His arms tightened around her, probably to try and keep from shaking her.

“You’re sick, Sadie. You love to annoy me.”

“You said you needed me to stay because I help take care of Abby. I’m simply pointing out that a qualified health professional can do the same thing.”

“That’s not why I want you to stay, and you know it.”

“Really? Then why do you want me to stay?”

“Because for better or worse, for annoying or endearing, we’re a part of each other and nothing feels the same when you’re away,” he admitted. “Are you satisfied?”

“A declaration of lifelong love and adoration would have been better, but I’ll take what I can get,” she said.

“I think the reason people go postal is because they have a Sadie,” he said.

“Maybe the reason is because they don’t,” she countered.

 “Maybe,” he conceded after a minute of peaceful silence. The night was getting cold, but she was warm in his embrace. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so safe and secure. They glided quietly for a long time, each wrapped in his or her own thoughts. The cold crept deep into Sadie’s bones, and still she made no move to go. Luke seemed equally as content. They might have stayed that way all night if Abby hadn’t interrupted.

“Luke, Vaslilssa’s on the phone. In an effort to bid for a box of cupcakes, she accidentally opened her bank account to a Nigerian conman. I couldn’t tell what she was saying, but she sounds a little frantic.” She opened the door and poked the phone outside. Sadie could hear Vaslilssa spouting a rapid stream of Russian. From her position a few feet away, it sounded like she was choking on a bone.

Luke reached for the phone and shot Sadie an apologetic glance. “I guess I have to take this.”

“It’s okay,” Sadie said, suddenly freezing at the loss of his warmth. “I need to pack for my trip.”

She left and went to her room, trying in vain to regain some of the lost warmth.

Getting out of town was easier said than done. Hal arrived on time and wearing a deerstalker cap.

“Last night I stayed up and watched an entire season of
Sherlock.
I’m fairly certain I’m going to crack this case wide open and we’ll be home by lunch.”

“Just in case we’re not, I need new toothpaste,” Sadie said as she guided her car into the drugstore.

“They don’t have pharmacies in Bateman?”

“I have no idea. I went there every year to cheer, but I don’t remember much about the town. Their level of Rubery is mythic, though, and it’s infected all of Atwood. There were times when we went to DC for cheer tournaments, but Bateman was the only place we had to have a buddy and do a headcount before and after every game.”

Hal snorted. “Why?”

Sadie shrugged. “We thought Bateman was the boogeyman. There were rumors of cannibalism, cousins marrying each other, and every other crazy thing you can think of.”

“It’s all very Hatfield and McCoy, and yet you seem unaffected.”

“I’ve seen enough of the world to know there are two sides to every story,” Sadie said.

“That’s right, you lived in
Nebraska.
You have the wisdom of the plains at your command.”

“As we say in Nebraska, ‘Have some corn.’”

“That’s sage,” Hal said, nodding.

“Sadie!”

They turned to see Sadie’s neighbor, Mrs. Kaplan, AKA Madame Zora, coming toward them. She fancied herself a psychic and dressed accordingly. Today’s caftan was white velour with a poufy white turban to match. Sadie supposed she was trying to look chic and mysterious. The effect was ruined by all the huffing, puffing, and waddling she did as she trotted to catch up to them. Instead of looking like an Eastern mystic, she looked like the Michelin Man’s mom.

“Are you okay?” Sadie asked.

“Allergies,” she wheezed, leaning on Sadie, trying hard to catch her breath. “I’m glad I caught you. When I saw you drive away, I loaded Bon-bon in the car before she could do her business.”

Somewhere to their left, Mrs. Kaplan’s toy poodle, Bon-bon, was barking and furiously digging her paws at the window to get out.

“You should let her go,” Sadie said. Bon-bon’s bladder had to be no bigger than a thimble. Sadie and Hal followed Madame Zora to the car and watched as Bon-bon dived for freedom and the two inch crack of grass between the sidewalks. Sadie was sure she heard a sigh of relief as she squatted.

There was no need to ask why Mrs. Kaplan had been so desperate to catch Sadie because it was always the same thing whenever they happened to meet.

“The spirits portend bad things, Sadie. I think you should cancel your trip to Bateman.”

The spirits, Sadie had discovered, were die-hard pessimists. They never portended that anything good would happen in her life. Just once she would like to hear Madame Zora announce that the spirits thought it was a good day to play the lottery. Not that she would believe it. She didn’t believe in any of Mrs. Kaplan’s idiocy, and her patience for the topic was growing thin. She kept up her weekly visits because she felt sorry for the woman. Her children had abandoned her, her husband worked long hours, and she had no friends. She was desperately lonely and had turned to astrology to fill her time. Sadie tried to make up for the deficit in her life by visiting once a week. Unfortunately, Mrs. Kaplan took that as a sign that Sadie wanted to have a weekly “reading.” Her palms, tea leaves, and tarot cards always pointed to the same thing: Sadie’s eminent doom. In the beginning, Madame Zora had been oddly specific in predicting how Sadie would meet her end. After Sadie had kindly pointed out that she had no plans to ever ride a unicycle into oncoming traffic, Mrs. Kaplan had changed tactics and now gave vague warnings that could be interpreted to mean anything.

“Your aura is gray,” Mrs. Kaplan continued.

“That was the first thing that attracted me to her,” Hal said. “I like women with smoky auras, despite the high rates of aura cancer.”

Sadie jabbed his side. She had witnessed the effects of what could happen when Mrs. Kaplan was egged on. They could be there all day, subject to a lecture on the destiny of their birth signs. Fortunately Bon-bon stumbled across a discarded piece of taffy and began wolfing it down before her owner could try to snatch it away.

“No, Bon-bon, no!” Mrs. Kaplan scolded and began to give chase. The dog darted between her feet. Soon Sadie and Hal were involved, running in circles, chasing a ten pound dog whose satisfied lip smacking echoed all around the street. Suddenly the dog stopped short. Mrs. Kaplan picked her up in time for the taffy to make a return appearance all over her caftan.

“You’d think the spirits would warn her before stuff like that happens,” Hal said as they watched Mrs. Kaplan walk away, scolding her errant dog all the way to the car.

“They stay pretty busy predicting my death,” Sadie said.

“She was almost right a few weeks ago,” Hal said. “She must have loved that.”

“She did. She took out an ad on our public radio station declaring her victory, never mentioning the fact that drowning in the ocean had been my predicted manner of demise that week. I think she was disappointed I lived.”

“You can’t please everybody,” Hal said.

“Pssshhht.”

Sadie jumped aside as an old man opened the door of the pharmacy and hissed at her. “Bateman blood traitor,” he added before roughly pushing her aside to make his exit.

“Who was that?” Hal asked.

“My former guidance counselor,” Sadie said.

“I was either going to guess psychologist or priest. His nurturing spirit gave it away,” Hal said.

“It’s possible that people are taking my trip to Bateman worse than I thought,” Sadie said.

“It’s possible that when we start driving, we should never come back. The longer I spend time in this town, the more I’m convinced I should get you out of here. Luke is level-headed enough to hold his own here, but you could turn into one of these people someday.”

“Not me,” Sadie said. “I’m going to stick around long enough to see Abby through, and then I’m going to, um, go somewhere and do something.”

“With a solid plan like that, you can’t fail,” Hal said.

“Someday I’ll figure out what I want to do when I grow up,” Sadie said.

“Me, too. In the meantime, I’ll piddle at being a doctor until something more challenging comes along. Did I tell you I got to crack a chest and massage a man’s heart yesterday? Ho-hum.” He feigned a yawn, but Sadie wasn’t fooled by his teasing. He loved medicine, even though it left him exhausted and drained most of the time.

She linked her arm through his. “You poor, bored resident. Someday something exciting will come along.”

“Everything is exciting with you nearby, Sadie. This trip to the boonies, for instance. Normally a trek to the middle of nowhere would inspire dread, but knowing I’m going with you makes the possibilities seem endless. Anything can happen in Bateman.”

At the mention of the word “Bateman,” the entire pharmacy came to a standstill and stared at them, hissing.

“Please tell me the tar and feather store isn’t open this early,” Hal whispered.

“It’s not, but stonings have no schedule,” Sadie replied, offering up a tentative smile. “It’s just for a couple of days,” she announced. “I’m not moving there.”

“Bateman infects all it touches,” the woman behind the counter said. “Their ignorance oozes. What they lack in sophistication, they make up for in sneakiness.” She adjusted her half-moon glasses and licked the lipstick off her front teeth.

“Think of us as cultural ambassadors,” Sadie said. “We can take some of Atwood to them. They could benefit by our presence.”

“What does Abby think about this?” the woman asked.

“Abby and I agree on everything,” Sadie said. “She’s supportive.” If pressed by strangers, Abby would present a united front. By the time she was done talking to people, they would believe it had been her idea for Sadie to take the job in Bateman.

“Well, if Abby approves,” the woman said.

“Who is that?” Hal asked as he and Sadie made their way to the toothpaste aisle.

“I have no idea,” Sadie said. “But Abby is public property here, and so is the rivalry with Bateman. People feel free to voice their opinions on either topic.”

“People feel free to voice their opinions on everything here. It’s like I’ve fallen in a wormhole and woken up in an alternate universe where people interact with each other face to face instead of via social media like the rest of the normal world.”

“Freaky, isn’t it? Welcome to Atwood, the land Facebook forgot.”

“No, it’s more like Facebook is being played out in real time. Actions are public and everyone comments on them. If someone pokes me or walks up to me with a friend request, I’m running away.”

Sadie selected her toothpaste and checked out with no further comment from the clerk, though she did sniff disapprovingly as she collected the money and handed over the bag.

“Luke seemed upset when we left,” Hal commented as they repositioned themselves in Sadie’s car.

“Madame Zora must have gotten to him because he also thinks I’m going to meet my end in Bateman.”

“He’s changing. In the short time I’ve known you, he has morphed from angry, distant guy to mopey, worried guy. And that’s only a short hop to committed and in-love guy,” Hal said.

“He’s already committed and in-love guy with Vaslilssa,” Sadie pointed out.

“Vaslilssa’s not permanent and we both know it,” Hal said.

“Are you saying that from a medical perspective? Statistics have to catch up with her at some point, don’t they? Because that much artery-clogging trans-fat should not be making her more beautiful and well proportioned.”

“Sadie, are you jealous of Vaslilssa?”

Sadie shrugged. “I’m only human.”

“No, you’re not. You’re Sadie Cooper. Don’t lower yourself to the fallacies of the common man. You have no reason to be jealous. Vaslilssa has nothing you don’t.”

“She has one thing I don’t,” Sadie pointed out.

“Temporarily,” Hal said. “Let me be uncharacteristically serious for a moment and say that Luke loves you, I know he does. I know him better than anyone, present company excluded. I see it when he looks at you, I hear it when he talks about you. Give him time, and I know he’ll come around.”

“I know you’re trying to be helpful and encouraging, and I love you for that, Hal, but I could really use a break from the situation. For the next few days, I would appreciate it if we didn’t mention the L-word at all.”

“I will try, but I don’t know if I can go three whole days without mentioning Lyle Lovett. The man is an underappreciated genius.”

“Try,” Sadie urged.

“Anything for you.”

“Why do we always talk about me? Do you know that in all the time we’ve spent hanging out, I have never once heard you mention a woman you’re interested in? Spill those beans, Hal. Who is she? There must be someone who makes you stupid.”

“I’m a lone wolf, Sadie, the last bastion of bachelorhood, a pioneer on the quest for singularity, a harbinger of solitude, an untamable wild stallion, a stag, a stud, a buck, Fonzie. That’s me.”

“You had a date last week,” she reminded him.

“We went to a movie and I fell asleep. When I woke up, she was gone. It was a disaster from beginning to end. If I hadn’t conked out, she probably would have gnawed off her arm to get away. Romance and residency don’t mix. If I do have the energy to get a date, I spend the entire time talking about spleen ruptures.”

“What girl wouldn’t find that romantic?” Sadie asked.

“I know, right? Clearly it’s them and not me.”

“We’ll be pathetic together,” Sadie said.

“That’s the best proposition I’ve had since Dr. Larimer asked me to lance an abscess with her,” Hal said.

“Charmer,” Sadie accused.

“And I don’t even try. I open my mouth and words like pus and hematoma come out.”

“Yet you’re still single. The world is upside down, Hal.”

“What are you going to do?” Hal said. He opened his bag and began snacking on trail mix. His diet consisted mostly of raisins, nuts, and green tea. He said it gave him energy for long shifts and crazy hours. She guessed it was also what he could afford and knew how to make.

“You need a meal,” she said. “When this is over, I’m going to cook for you.”

“You’re the only person who does that,” Hal said. “And I love you for it, by the way. My world has become a better place since you entered, Sadie. Raisin?”

“Wrinkled fruit makes me sad,” Sadie said, refusing the raisin with a grimace.

“If this private investigator thing doesn’t work out, you should start thinking up slogans for t-shirts. That could be your first. What else have you got?”

“My dad wants me to be a cop.”

“That doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

“No, I mean my dad really wants me to be a cop,” Sadie said.

“What’s wrong with being exactly what and who you are now?” Hal asked.

“Everything, according to my dad. I stopped living up to his expectations sometime around my thirteenth birthday. I think that was about the time he realized I wasn’t a boy.”

“Slow learner, your dad.”

“I had him fooled for a while, but my body decided to betray us both.”

“Remind me to send your body a thank you card,” Hal said. “I know you know this, but if your dad can’t appreciate your awesomeness in its current package, then it’s his problem, not yours.”

She grinned at him. “I do know. A lack of confidence has never been one of my foibles, but thank you. I wish things could be different with my dad, but I do realize that it’s his issue and not mine.”

“My Sadie is sad, and that should never be. I’m beginning to sound like a broken record, but maybe you should leave this place. If your dad and the L-person are getting you down this much, maybe it’s time to move on.”

“Moving on has always been my go-to in the past. The sadness goes away for a while, but it always finds me again. I need to make things right once and for all, to fix everything that’s my fault. It’s time to put on my big girl panties and deal.”