Salvaged to Death (17 page)

            After a few days, life returned to normal as if there had been no interruption. Gone were the pesky bouts of melancholy and jealousy that had invaded Sadie’s life; she didn’t miss them and hoped to never see them again. Her focus now was to secure enough clients to keep her business alive. She and Abby spent some time brainstorming new ways to bring in clients. Hal was busy at the hospital, Luke was busy working on his doctorate, and Vaslilssa was on a road trip to try and chase down the last remaining McRib before McDonald’s did away with them for the season.

One afternoon, three days after she returned from Fiona’s house, Sadie walked into the den and saw Luke sitting on the couch, four books open in and around his lap. He wore his reading glasses so that when he looked up, his eyes were magnified to a few times their normal size. Something about the picture was so endearing that it wrenched Sadie’s heart practically to bursting.

“What’s up?” Luke asked. He tipped the glasses to the end of his nose so he could see her more clearly.

“You ready for a study break?” Sadie asked.

“Always,” he replied.

“Good.” She came into the room, cleared the books away, and sat in his lap.

“This is weird,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because the last time this happened, it was after Ben, and you were upset. Are you upset about something?”

“I found out frozen yogurt has more calories from sugar than I realized,” Sadie said.

“Sadie,” Luke said.

“I’m not upset,” Sadie said. “Do friends have to be upset to spend time with each other?”

“No, I often hold Hal this way,” Luke said.

“I suspected as much,” Sadie said. “This is nice. Don’t you think this is nice?”

“Yes, but…”

“You have a girlfriend,” she interrupted. “I get it, but there’s nothing suspicious in two old friends sitting next to each other on the couch. This is practically the same thing.”

“Except not at all,” Luke said.

“Can’t you feel those endorphins?” Sadie said.

“I feel a lot of things. Endorphins are the least of my concern.”

She smiled and slipped her arms around his neck, pressing her face to his Adam’s apple. “Sadie, this is not good. We’re setting ourselves up for trouble here.”

“You want me to go?”

“Soon,” he said. His fingers delved into her hair, but that was as far as things went. Sadie didn’t want to push him over the edge; he wasn’t ready for that. She simply wanted to push the border a little closer to her goal line. They sat in heavy silence while the tension bubbled and swirled around them like jam in a hot cauldron.

The doorbell rang twice. “I should get that,” Sadie said.

“Let Abby get it,” Luke said.

“Abby’s not home.”

“Whoever it is can wait on the porch until she gets here,” he said.

The bell rang again. “I’ll get rid of them and come back.”

“I might be in my right mind by then,” Luke said.

“I’ll hurry,” Sadie promised. She sprinted to the door and flung it open. Hal stood beaming on the threshold.

“The door was locked,” he explained. “But I knew you were here because of your car. Is this a bad time?”

“It’s never a bad time for you,” Sadie said. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been wearing the same pants for six days,” he said.

“I’m sorry. Also, gross,” Sadie said.

“Laundry and I aren’t friends anymore,” Hal replied. “The point is that I put my hand in my pocket tonight at the hospital and found this.” He pulled out a locket. “I have no idea how or when it got there.”

Sadie touched her neck. “Weird. I didn’t even notice it was gone. I must have taken it off and slipped it into your pocket for safekeeping. Sorry.”

“No problem. I relieved I’m not secretly a kleptomaniac.”

She took the necklace and searched for a pocket. “I’ve got to stop wearing yoga pants.”

“Not on my account,” Hal said. “Here.” He reached forward and fastened the necklace on her, and then he kissed her. Not a friendly peck on the cheek like normal, but a legitimate, toe-curling kiss of desire. Worse, Sadie responded. They broke apart and took a step back.

“That didn’t happen,” Hal said.

“What didn’t happen?” Sadie said.

“Exactly. See you, Sadie, but not too soon.”

“Bye,” Sadie called. She put her fingers to her lips. They felt puffy. She pressed her hand to her mouth and went back inside. The books were back in Luke’s lap. He had apparently returned to his senses just when she lost hers. She sat beside him on the couch. He finished whatever he was reading and set it aside.

“Who was it?” he asked.

“I am the worst person in the entire world,” Sadie said.

“What?” Luke asked, half laughing. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the truth. I’m biologically programmed to screw things up. I can’t help myself.” She leaned forward and pressed her head between her knees, fighting a wave of nausea.

“Sade, don’t say that.” He rested his hand on her back and she jumped away, seared by the gentle touch. “What is wrong with you?”

“I told you. I’m a total screw-up. I should be sealed in a room somewhere so I can’t infect others with my disease.”

“Stop it,” Luke said. “I’ll admit I wasn’t too keen you when you came back, but I admire the way you’ve been working so hard, the way you take care of Abby, the way you…”

Sadie mashed her hands over her ears and rocked back and forth. “Stop it. Don’t say another word.”

“All right, calm down. Is this about work?”

She shook her head. “It’s about me being monumentally stupid.” Luke put an arm around her. She wrenched away and stood.

“Come here,” he commanded.

“No, you can’t make me feel better.”

“I can try.”

“No.” She ran up the stairs. He followed and stood in her doorway while she pulled out a suitcase and began to haphazardly throw clothes inside.

“So this is it, you’re running away,” he said.

“I’m doing us both a service.”

“Where are you going to go?”

She paused. She hadn’t thought that far in advance.

“You have nowhere to go,” Luke pointed out. “This is a kneejerk reaction to something.”

“It’s an ordinary reaction to me being a jerk,” she said.

“Since when are you so hard on yourself?” he asked.

“Since I started to deserve it,” she said.

“Stop. You’re going to put me out of a job if you continue to self-recriminate.”

“Don’t joke, Luke. This is serious. I shouldn’t be here. I’m going to mess up again, I know it. I can feel it.”

He came forward, tugged the yoga pants out of her hands, and clasped her fingers. “This is the end of the line, Sadie Cooper. You have nowhere to go. It’s time to stop running and face the music.”

“I’m going to screw it up,” she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them spill.

“Everyone screws up sometimes.”

“Not you,” Sadie said.

“I spent a lot of years being angry at my best friend, unable to see how much she was hurting.”

The tears eked out and spilled down her cheeks. He used his sleeve to scrub them away. “Unpack. Come downstairs. Some of Vaslilssa’s cheese head is still in the fridge. I’ll round up some crackers.”

“She’ll hurt you if you finish her cheese head,” Sadie warned.

“A chance I’m willing to take,” Luke said. “You’re going to do great,” he added. “I believe in you.”

“You shouldn’t,” she said.

“Maybe not, but I do.”

“I’ll be down in a minute,” she whispered.

He nodded and let her go. Sadie waited until he was truly gone to take off the locket. She tucked it in the back of her nightstand. She never wanted to think of it or the kiss with Hal again. She wouldn’t betray Luke and hurt him again. She’d rather die first. Her only consolation was that Hal felt the same. He was no doubt cursing himself right now, but Sadie didn’t call to find out. She would cut him out of her life completely if that was what it took to stay on the straight and narrow.

She wiped her eyes, checked her makeup in the mirror, squared her shoulders, and went downstairs to join Luke for cheese and crackers.