Ryan's Place (9 page)

“Such a gracious capitulation,” she noted as she set the pitcher back on the bar and swept past him.

Jack gave him a pitying look. “She’s a woman with a mind of her own, isn’t she?”

“Tell me about it,” Ryan said dryly.

Together, the three of them combed the bars along the waterfront. They spoke to fishermen and dockworkers as they began to arrive for work in the predawn hours. When people seemed reluctant to talk to them, Maggie stepped in and charmed them into opening up. Despite her best efforts, though, no one recalled a man fitting Jamal Monroe’s description.

“Dammit, that boy cannot go into surgery thinking that his own father doesn’t care enough to be there,” Ryan said when they’d retreated to a small, crowded café filled with the raucous banter of men who spent their lives on the water. He cupped his hands around a mug of strong coffee, grateful for the warmth after being out for hours in the damp, cold air.

“We’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Maggie soothed with unwavering confidence.

Suddenly a shadow fell over the table. Ryan glanced up into chocolate-brown eyes that glinted with anger and suspicion. The man was dressed warmly, in worn yet clean clothes, but he was too thin. And undeniable exhaustion and strain were evident on his dark face.

“I hear you’ve been asking a lot of questions about Jamal Monroe,” he said. “Why?”

Ryan suspected that this was Lamar’s father, though the man hadn’t admitted it outright. He gestured toward the fourth chair at their table. “Join us. How about a cup of coffee and some breakfast?”

The man hesitated, but the lure of the hot drink and food apparently won him over. With a respectful nod toward Maggie, he sat down, though he kept his jacket on as if he wanted to be ready to take off at once if the need arose.

Ryan didn’t say anything until the waitress had brought coffee and taken the man’s order. Then he looked him directly in the eye. “We’ve been bumping up against a brick wall for hours now. I don’t suppose you have any idea how we can find Monroe?”

“Could be,” the man said cautiously. “But you still haven’t said why you’re so anxious to find him. You friends of his?”

“No, we’ve never met,” Ryan admitted, keeping his gaze locked on the man’s face. “It’s about his son, Lamar.”

There was a definite flicker of recognition, maybe even something else. Fear, perhaps.

“You know his boy?” the man asked.

Ryan nodded. “And his wife. They’ve been staying at the St. Mary’s homeless shelter.”

This time there was no mistaking the reaction. “Why are they there?” he asked with more emotion in his voice. “They
had a halfway decent apartment when I—” He looked flustered at the telling slip and hurriedly corrected it. “When
he
left.”

At Ryan’s nod, it was Maggie who continued, her tone gentle. “They needed help. Without Mr. Monroe at home, they couldn’t make it. And Lamar needs surgery, but once Mr. Monroe quit his job, their insurance was cut off.”

The man’s shoulders slumped, and his eyes filled with tears. “Damn, I never meant it to come to that,” he said, his voice thick. “I thought I’d be back in time to make things right. I just needed some time away to think.”

Ryan and Jack exchanged a look.

“Then you are Jamal,” Ryan said gently.

He nodded. “Even if I am a sorry excuse for a husband and a father, I love those two.”

“Then why did you take off?” Ryan asked, barely managing to keep an accusatory note out of his voice.

“If you know about the surgery, then you probably know Lamar’s medical condition is hereditary. He got it from me,” Jamal said, his tone filled with guilt.

“Through no fault of your own,” Maggie insisted fiercely, resting her hand on his. “You didn’t know you had the problem, so how could you know you could pass it along to your son? Nobody is blaming you.”

“I blame myself,” Jamal said heatedly, “’cause the honest truth is, I did know. Soon as that doctor started talking, I remembered the problems I had when I was a kid.”

“You had a heart problem that required surgery?” Ryan asked, stunned.

Jamal nodded. “I was younger than Lamar is now, and I spent a lot of time in the hospital. My folks never explained
much about what was going on, and I was too little to understand if they had. I wasn’t even in school yet, so I must have been three, maybe four years old. Once I had the surgery, I could do anything I wanted. Didn’t take me long to put all of the bad times out of my head. Years go by, and it’s like it happened to some other person, if you remember at all. Never crossed my mind that I could pass it along to a child of mine.”

“That’s perfectly normal,” Maggie reassured him, shooting a warning look at Ryan. “People don’t always consider all the genetic ramifications before having kids. They fall in love, get married and start a family. Unless they’ve had to confront a congenital illness all their lives, it’s the last thing on their minds. Letitia doesn’t blame you for Lamar being sick. Lamar certainly doesn’t blame you. If they don’t, how can you go on blaming yourself? And it’s time to forgive yourself, too, for being human and running out. The important thing is to be there for Lamar now.”

Jamal shook his head. “Letitia’s bound to be fit to be tied. That woman has a temper when she’s riled, and she has every right to be furious with me. She probably won’t let me anywhere near the boy.”

“You’re wrong,” Ryan said. “The only thing on her mind now is what’s best for Lamar, and he needs to see his daddy before he goes into surgery.”

Jamal seemed startled. “Thought you said he couldn’t have it, because they lost their insurance.”

Ryan carefully avoided Maggie’s gaze. “The shelter was able to help,” he explained. “The surgery’s this morning. If you’re willing, we can take you to see him. I know if I were a father, there’s nowhere else I’d be today.”

Maggie gave Jamal’s hand a squeeze. “Please. Lamar
needs you. He’s scared. Having you there will go a long way toward reassuring him that everything’s going to turn out all right, especially once you tell him that you had the same surgery a long time ago.”

Jamal seemed to struggle with himself, but he finally nodded and pushed back from the table. “Take me to see my boy.”

Ryan paid the check and led the way back to the car. It was still early enough that they didn’t get tangled up in rush hour as they made their way to the children’s hospital where Lamar’s surgery was scheduled for eight o’clock. He pulled up at the front entrance.

“Maggie, why don’t you take him to Lamar’s room while I park the car? I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

She regarded him with a penetrating look. “You are coming in, though, aren’t you? Lamar will want to see you, too.”

“I’ll be there,” he said, overcoming his reluctance to give her the answer she was all but demanding.

She bent down to whisper in his ear. “Five minutes, Devaney. If you’re not there, I’m going to come looking for you.”

Ryan didn’t doubt for a second that she would do just that. “I gave you my word,” he said.

“And promises mean as much to you as they do to me?” she asked.

He gazed into her eyes. “I don’t make them unless I mean to keep them. If anyone knows the devastation of broken promises, it’s me.”

She rested her hand against his cheek. “I’ll see you inside, then.”

Ryan watched her walk away with Jamal.

“She’s a remarkable woman, isn’t she?” Jack noted.

“Yeah, she certainly is.”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t let her get away.”

Ryan scowled. “Not you, too,” he protested. “Geez, if I get any more matchmaking advice from people who hang out at the pub, I’ll have to turn the place into a lonely-hearts club.”

“Not a bad idea,” Jack said. “And if there are any more out there like Maggie, send ’em my way.” He reached for his door handle. “I think I’ll catch a cab and head for home.”

“You’re not going to stick around to make sure I go inside?” Ryan inquired. “I thought maybe you’d nominate yourself to see to it I don’t let Maggie down.”

“If you let her down, you’re an idiot,” Jack said succinctly. “And frankly, if you’re that dumb, I don’t want to know about it. Right now I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy toward you for helping Lamar.”

Ryan laughed. “Go. I’ll give you a call once he’s out of surgery.”

Jack nodded. “You do that.” He grinned. “Or give Maggie the honor. I wouldn’t mind waking up to the sound of her voice in my ear.”

“Go to hell,” Ryan said. If Maggie was going to be whispering in any man’s ear, it was going to be his. And it was looking more and more as if that was going to be inevitable.

M
aggie knew precisely why Ryan had let her be the one to escort Mr. Monroe into the hospital to see his son. He hadn’t wanted to be a part of an emotional family reunion, even if he was the one responsible for making it happen. Because there had been no reunion for him and his brothers, the prospect of this one made him uncomfortable.

He needed to be there, though. He needed to put his discomfort aside if he was ever to know that happy endings were possible.

As Maggie and Jamal Monroe stepped off the elevator, she turned and looked at him. “I know I have no right to ask this, especially after insisting that you get right over here, but would you mind waiting a few more minutes before you see Lamar?”

He regarded her with surprise. “You want to go in and make sure they want to see me?”

“No, I know how happy they’ll be that you’re here. In fact, that’s the point.”

He studied her knowingly. “This has something to do with Mr. Devaney, doesn’t it? You seemed real anxious that he not take off. You still worried he might not show up?”

“No, I’m sure he’ll be here any second, and I think he should be a part of this.”

“So he gets the credit he’s due for tracking me down?”

She smiled at the all-too-cynical reaction. “No, so he can see for himself the look in Lamar’s eyes when you walk through the door.”

At her explanation, his natural suspicion gave way. He nodded in apparent understanding. “I suppose a couple more minutes won’t make any difference,” he said. “And I do owe the man for his trouble.”

“He doesn’t want your thanks or your sense of obligation,” Maggie was quick to assure him. “He just wants you and your son to be together. I can’t explain why this meeting is so important to him, but it is. Trust me.”

They were still standing by the elevator when Letitia Monroe emerged from Lamar’s room and spotted them. An entire spectrum of emotions flashed across her face, from anger to love to relief. Her husband took a few hesitant steps in her direction, then paused and waited. She hurried down the corridor and straight into his arms. Her shoulders shook with sobs as he tried ineffectively to console her.

“Jamal Monroe, I ought to slap you silly for putting us through all this worry,” Letitia said finally, sniffing loudly and wiping her eyes with a tissue Maggie provided. “But I’m too
relieved to see you. The rest will have to wait.” She glanced around. “Where’s Mr. Devaney? I know he had something to do with you being here.”

The elevator doors whooshed open just then, and Ryan emerged. Letitia threw her arms around him in a fierce hug that almost knocked him off his feet.

“I will be indebted to you for the rest of my life,” she declared. “Thank you for finding Jamal and getting him here in time.”

“The truth is, he found us,” Ryan said modestly. “All I did was poke around and ask a few questions.”

“But I don’t doubt for a minute that it was all that poking around that stirred things up and flushed him out,” she said with conviction. She slipped her hand into her husband’s. “Let’s go see our boy.”

They started down the hall, but Ryan held back. Maggie regarded him with a questioning look, but it was Letitia who turned around and said impatiently, “Hurry up. Lamar’s expecting you. And I imagine Father Francis has heard about all of the boy’s pitiful jokes he can stand for one morning.”

“I shouldn’t intrude,” Ryan said, looking around desperately for someplace to flee.

“Intrude, nothing. You’re part of this family till the end of time,” Letitia said emphatically. “And I don’t want to hear anyone saying otherwise, including you.”

Maggie grinned at the woman’s belief that she had the right to boss Ryan around. Maybe she should steal a page out of Letitia’s book. Ryan appeared a little shell-shocked.

“I guess she told
you,
” Maggie teased.

Ryan seemed a little bewildered at being summarily made a part of the Monroe family, but he snagged Maggie’s hand and followed Letitia.

“You know,” Maggie began casually. “It’s an interesting thing about families.”

He regarded her warily. “Oh?”

“Some people spend a lifetime surrounded by blood relatives they don’t get along with much. Some have wonderful families like mine.” She gave him a pointed look. “And some get to choose the people they consider family.”

He gave her a wry smile. “I get it, Maggie.”

“I hope so,” she said softly. “I really do.” She figured their future depended on it.

Ryan hesitated again once they reached Lamar’s room. Despite Letitia’s insistence that he belonged there, he felt like an interloper at what should be a very private moment. But even if he’d wanted to hang back, there was Maggie watching him with that beseeching, hopeful expression. He couldn’t let her down. And he wasn’t too keen on being the recipient of one of Father Francis’s disappointed looks, either, to say nothing of another outburst of Letitia’s temper.

“You go in first,” Letitia instructed. “Tell my baby you have a surprise for him.”

“Me? Shouldn’t you be doing that?”

She glanced at Maggie, then regarded him with a steady look. “Something tells me it’s important that you do it.”

Recognizing that he was defeated, Ryan sucked in a sharp breath, then walked into the room. His nervousness eased the instant he saw Lamar’s face light up. Father Francis smiled at him and stepped aside to give Ryan room at the boy’s bedside.

“You came!” Lamar said. “Mom said you would, but it was getting late. They’ve already given me some kinda shot. I’m getting real sleepy.”

Ryan rubbed his knuckles over the boy’s head. “Don’t go to sleep just yet. I have a surprise, and you’re going to want to be wide awake for it.”

Lamar’s eyes widened. “A surprise? For me? What is it?”

Ryan nodded toward the door. “Look over there.”

Just as he said it, Jamal stepped into the room.

“Dad,” Lamar whispered, reaching for Ryan’s hand and gazing up at him with a grateful expression. “You found my dad. I knew you would.”

As Jamal reached the side of the bed, his eyes filled with tears. “Hi, son. I’m sorry for worrying you, for letting you and your mom go through all of this alone.”

“It’s okay, Dad. I knew you’d come back. I just knew it.”

Jamal bent down, his tears spilling onto his son’s face as he hugged him. “I love you, boy. Don’t you ever forget that. And once you’ve had this surgery and are good as new again, you and I are gonna do all the things we’ve always talked about. That’s a promise.”

Lamar looked at Ryan, his eyes shining. “And my dad never breaks his promises. Not ever.” He glanced toward his mother. “Ain’t that right, Mom?”

“
Isn’t
it, right,” Letitia corrected. Wisely, she didn’t mention the promise Jamal had made to her to be there in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. “Your daddy’s here now. That’s all that matters.”

Just then the nurse came into the room with an orderly. “Time to go, Lamar.”

He clung to his father’s hand. “You’ll be here after the operation, right? You’re not going to go away again?”

“I’ll be right by your side when you wake up,” Jamal assured him.

The next few hours passed in a blur of lousy coffee, tasteless food and pacing. There were a dozen times when Ryan would have made an excuse and escaped, but one glance at Maggie kept him right where he was. From the moment they’d met, she’d seemed to expect the best from him, the same as Father Francis. Now there were two people in his life Ryan hoped never to disappoint. He was surprised he didn’t feel more pressured by it, but the truth was, it felt good to know there were people counting on him and that, so far at least, he had never let them down.

Across the room Letitia and Jamal sat side by side, hand in hand, drawing comfort from each other the way they should have all these weeks.

“Looks like Letitia has forgiven him already,” he said to Maggie, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“Human beings make mistakes,” Maggie said quietly. “Wise human beings understand that and forgive them.”

“How the hell do you forgive someone for walking out when he’s needed the most?” Ryan demanded, his chin jutting forward.

Maggie regarded him with a penetrating look. “Are we talking about Jamal now, or your parents?”

Ryan ground his teeth. “Jamal, of course,” he said tightly.

“Ryan—”

“Don’t,” he said, shooting to his feet and walking away from the lecture so evidently on the tip of her tongue. He didn’t need anyone, not even Maggie, telling him that there could be any possible justification for what his parents had done to him and his brothers. He certainly wasn’t going to entertain the notion of forgiving them for dumping three boys into the foster care system before taking off to who-knew-where.

He moved to the window and stared outside, only halfway aware that snow was falling, leaving a coating of white on the ground. Christmas was fast approaching, and it was his second most hated holiday of the year, right after Thanksgiving. He never failed to spend the day trying to imagine where his brothers might be, what they might have endured. If their holidays had been anything like his, they must hate the season, as well.

“I take it Maggie dared to say something about your parents,” Father Francis said, coming to stand beside him.

“What makes you think that?” Ryan asked.

“Little else puts such a scowl on your face,” the priest replied. “Besides, it’s natural for you to think of them on a day like this. Seeing Lamar reunited with his father must make you wonder a little about your own father.”

“I am not thinking of my parents,” Ryan insisted. “Or at least I wasn’t until the two of you decided to pester me about them.”

Father Francis waited until Ryan eventually turned to face him, then said, “Are you going to allow two people you claim to have no feelings for, at all, control the way you live the rest of your life?”

“What the devil are you talking about? They control nothing!” Ryan declared.

“Oh, really? Have you given one second’s thought to a future with Maggie?” The priest held up a silencing hand when Ryan would have responded. “And don’t waste your breath telling me you’re not attracted to her, because anyone with eyes can see that you are. Yet you do nothing about it, because in your heart you know it would have to lead somewhere, to a place you won’t allow yourself to go.”

“Shouldn’t you be praying for Lamar, instead of giving me advice on my love life?” he inquired sourly.

“I’m a modern man. I’ve learned to multitask,” Father Francis said.

Despite his irritation, Ryan bit back a laugh. “And who taught you that term? Maggie, I imagine.”

“The girl’s an inspiration, to be sure,” Father Francis said cheerfully. “But then, even you can see that, can’t you?”

Ryan sighed as the priest retreated to sit with Letitia and Jamal, apparently satisfied that he’d gotten his message across. Ryan glanced over at Maggie, saw the worry in her eyes as she watched the door, then the lingering flicker of hurt when she caught him staring at her. Resigned, he went back to her side.

“I’m sorry for snapping your head off before,” he said. “And I’m sorry I keep doing things that necessitate so many apologies.”

“It’s okay,” she said with another display of that ready forgiveness she seemed willing to dispense, no matter how unreasonable he’d been. “We’re all under a lot of stress this morning.”

“That’s no excuse.” He noted the dark circles under her eyes, the strain around her mouth. “Maggie, you must be exhausted. Why not let me drive you home?”

She shook her head. “Not until we hear something.”

“Okay then, at least rest for a bit.” He sat beside her and slipped an arm around her shoulders, giving her a gentle tug. After a moment’s resistance, she gingerly put her head on his shoulder. “That’s better. Now close your eyes. If the doctor comes, I promise I’ll wake you.”

She didn’t respond, and moments later he felt the tension in her shoulders ease. Soon after, her breathing deepened, and something inside him eased, as well. He had only the dimmest
memory of feeling this protective toward anyone, quite likely because he hadn’t wanted to remember that, when it was truly important, he hadn’t been able to protect his brothers from the worst hurt of all.

Maggie couldn’t recall when she’d ever felt so safe. In her dream, she was in a house that was being buffeted by a powerful northeast wind, but she was safe and warm, tucked in Ryan’s arms in front of a cozy fire. She had the sense that as long as she was in his embrace, nothing could ever harm her.

She shifted sleepily, cuddling closer to all that strength and heat, only to hear his voice whispering urgently in her ear.

“Come on, Maggie. Wake up, darlin’. The doctor’s here.”

It was the last, more than the term of endearment, that penetrated. Her eyes snapped open, and she immediately spotted the surgeon in his operating room attire standing beside Letitia and Jamal. Her gaze shot to Ryan.

“Have you heard what he’s saying? Is it good news?”

“I can’t hear from here.”

“What about his expression? How did he look?”

Ryan regarded her blankly.

“Was he happy? Sad? What?” she prodded. “You read people’s moods every single night at the pub. Can’t you read his?”

“Maggie, we could find out everything if we went over there,” he suggested with exaggerated patience.

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“Look at it this way—if the news is good, they’d want us to share in it,” he said. “If it’s bad, they’re going to need our support.”

She blinked at that, struck by the fact that a man who professed no emotional entanglements could still have the most
amazingly sensitive insights. He should give himself credit for them more often. “Of course you’re right.” She stood up and grabbed his hand, pulling him along with her.

As they reached the small gathering, Letitia turned to them, her eyes brimming with tears. Maggie’s heart stopped. “Oh, no,” she whispered, her hand tightening around Ryan’s.

“No, no,” Letitia said, gathering her into a hug. “It’s good news. He’s going to be fine. My boy’s going to be fine.” She turned to Ryan, hugging him, as well. “And it’s all because of you, not just because you paid for the surgery, but because you got his daddy here. That gave Lamar the will to live. I know it did.”