Ruthless (24 page)

He felt her words like a sucker punch to the gut. After grabbing her wrist, he flattened her hand against his breaking heart. “I don’t believe you.”

She finally looked up at him. “I should have told you a long time ago.”

He shook his head, refusing to believe her lies. “No, you’re just saying that. You want to hurt me because I hurt you. You don’t mean it.” He knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t help himself. If he allowed her to explain, it would only hurt him more. He thought back, trying to remember the last time she’d told him she loved him. It had been more than a year.

She stroked his face. “I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, Luc.”

He swallowed, trying to collect himself. Clearing his throat, he asked, “When did you figure it out?”

She stared at his chest instead of looking him in the eye. “A few months before we broke up.” She sighed. “I just got so tired of trying to convince you that it could work between us.” She shrugged. “At some point, I guess I just stopped believing it myself.”

He felt tears blurring his vision, but he refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was destroying him. “So that big production the night of your birthday, what was that about?”

Her hand slipped lower to caress his abdomen.

He seized her wrist, gripping it hard. “Don’t touch me. I want answers, now.” He let her hand fall to her side.

Her blue eyes darkened with suppressed rage. “I was lashing out for all the years you spent ignoring me, pretending I didn’t even exist. When I finally did get your attention, you still couldn’t give me what I needed.” She pushed against his chest, hard. “I wasted half my life loving you only to find out that you’re nothing but a lying, self-serving coward. You abandoned your own goddamned kid. What kind of man does that?” she shouted.

The verbal blows hurt more than the physical blow. “Get out of my way.”

She scoffed. “Sure, run away, just like you always do.” She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a white terry cloth towel off the shelf. Wrapping it under her arms, she was oblivious to the water gathering on the floor at her feet.

He grabbed another towel and quickly dried himself off before putting his shorts on and stalking out to the living room. Now that he knew how she really felt, he couldn’t get away from her fast enough. “I don’t give a shit what you think of me anymore, Marisa.” He found his discarded t-shirt and pulled it over his head.

She followed him down the hallway. “You never really did, did you? It was always about you, what you wanted, what you needed. To hell with me and your daughter as long as you were happy, right?”

He turned on her, grabbing her shoulders. “You think I was happy living without my daughter? I wasn’t; I ached for her every goddamned day. You think I didn’t want to love you the way you needed, Marisa? I did; I was just so afraid of screwing things up and hurting you and our baby the way I’d hurt Nikki and Shana.” He dropped his hands to his sides. “But none of that matters now because you don’t love me anymore, do you?” He looked her in the eye, praying she would dispute his words, but when she said nothing, he grabbed his suitcase. “Sorry to leave you high and dry, baby,” he said, bitterly. “I know you were looking forward to havin’ a little fun this afternoon.”

She smirked. “Don’t worry about me, Luc. Iain’s already made plans for us tonight. I’m sure it’ll more than make up for it.”

He knew she was trying to hurt him, and it was working. “Have fun then. I guess I’ll see you back in Nashville.” He reached for the door handle.

“Luc?”

He didn’t turn around. He couldn’t allow himself to hope that she changed her mind about letting him leave. “Can I have your key? You know, in case you get any ideas about paying me a surprise visit in the middle of the night. I wouldn’t want you to walk in on anything.”

He hated her in that moment, hated that she could even think about sleeping with another man when the idea made him want to wretch. He reached into his pocket and tossed the key on the floor at her feet. “You don’t have to worry about me, Marisa. I won’t be botherin’ you again.”

Marisa waited until she heard the elevator on the other side of the door close before allowing herself to sink to the floor. She raised her knees to support her head and cried until the harsh sobs wracked her body.

She hated him for coming here, for giving her a glimmer of hope when she’d finally started to let him go.

It didn’t take her long to realize that nothing had changed. He was here to stake his claim, woo her into letting him back in her bed so they could resume the unfulfilling, sexually driven liaison that had already stolen too many years of her life.

She had no choice but to lie to him, to tell him she didn’t love him anymore because if he knew the truth, he’d pursue her like an animal stalking his prey until he wore her down and convinced her to accept the meager scraps he was willing to offer her. He would promise to be faithful, swear he loved her, but when it came down to it, he’d share his bed and nothing more. That wasn’t enough for her, not anymore.

Chapter Twenty

Luc rolled over and glared at the neon numbers on his alarm clock. It was 11:00 a.m. In less than nine hours, his house would be inundated with a hundred well-wishers gathered to help Trey kick off the first leg of his international tour. He had a team of a dozen people arriving in less than half an hour to set up and a housekeeper who’d agreed to work the night shift, which meant he had no choice but to haul his butt out of bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed and dropped his head into his hands. Today was the day Marisa came home from vacation. He knew she would be at her brother’s party tonight, and just the thought of seeing her again turned him inside out.

He’d thought of her and little else in the thirteen days since he left her. He tortured himself with thoughts of the last months of their relationship and the year since their break-up, trying to decide when she’d fallen out of love with him. He thought back to the last time they’d made love and the morning after when he’d proposed, trying to remember whether she gave him any indication that her feelings had changed. She hadn’t. She acted as though she still wanted him, still loved him as much as she ever had, which meant he was either a schmuck for believing her or she was a damn good actress.

The phone on his bedside table rang, indicating he had a visitor. He must have forgotten to close the security gates when he rolled in at 3:00 a.m. He snatched the phone and pressed the key to activate the call. “Yeah?”

“Hey, buddy. It’s Trey.”

“Give me a minute.” He disconnected the call and set the phone in its cradle before grabbing a bathrobe from the chaise lounge in the corner of the room and making his way down the hall. He pulled the door open without pausing to greet his guest. “Come in,” he shouted over his shoulder. “I need coffee. You want one?”

Trey closed the door and followed him into the kitchen. “Yeah, sure, thanks.” He sat on a stool at the breakfast bar. “I haven’t talked to you much since you got back. You okay, man?”

Luc concentrated on pouring two mugs of coffee and adding cream and sugar to one before turning around to face his friend. He handed one of the cups to Trey and put the other to his lips. “Yeah, sure, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Trey shook his head. “I haven’t talked to my sister, but I heard you’ve been hittin’ it pretty hard since you got back, so I’m assuming things didn’t go the way you planned?”

Luc knew Trey was going to demand answers, but he still couldn’t bring himself to say the words aloud. “Let’s just say it’s over and leave it at that, okay?”

Trey stared into the depths of his cup. “Luc, I heard you’ve been drinkin’ a lot. I’m worried about you.”

Luc closed his eyes. He had been drinking a lot, too much, but it was the only thing that helped him forget her. “Been out promoting, Ty, you know how it is.”

“Yeah, I know how it is ‘cause I’ve been there, Luc. I’m an alcoholic, remember?”

Luc set his cup down and reached into the cabinet for the bottle of aspirin. He popped the plastic cap off with his thumb and shook the bottle until three little pills rolled into his hand. He tossed them in his mouth and took a drink of coffee to wash them down. “I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t have a drinking problem...”

“No, but you might if you don’t find another way to deal with whatever’s got you so down.”

Luc knew his friend was right; he had to find a way to let her go so he could get on with his life. She didn’t love him anymore; it was over. “It’s over with Marisa, for good this time.”

Trey sighed. “Damn it, I’m sorry to hear that, man.”

Luc shrugged. “That’s life, right?”

“You wanna talk about it?” Trey asked.

“What’s to talk about? Your sister doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Shit, I can’t believe that, Luc.”

Luc leaned over the counter, needing the support to keep him upright. “Yeah, well, believe it or not, that’s the way it is. Nothing I can do will change her mind, Trey.”

“Did you even try?”

Luc swore and began pacing the floor. “Look, you may not have minded makin’ an ass outta yourself to get Sierra back, but I’m not gonna beg your sister to feel somethin’ she doesn’t, okay?”

Trey chuckled. “Swallow your damn pride, Luc.”

“This ain’t about my pride.”

“The hell it isn’t.” Trey crossed his arms and leaned over the counter. “You’re the most determined guy I’ve ever met. Yet my little sister’s got you all tied up in knots. Look at yourself, man. You’re a goddamned mess.”

Luc scowled at him. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

“Fine, but I will worry about that little girl of yours.”

At the mention of Nikki, Luc stopped pacing and turned to face him. “What are you talking about? What does my daughter have to do with this?”

“She’s flyin’ in for the party tonight, right?”

Luc shook his head. “Yeah, I thought it might be a good idea for her to meet some of the people in the business. So, what’s your point?”

“You gonna let her see her old man like this? Hung-over, liquored up, a mess because he still can’t get his life together? Doesn’t she deserve better than that after all the shit you’ve put her through?”

Luc resented the implication that he would do anything to hurt his daughter. She was his first priority now, and he was determined to be the father she needed, even if his life was falling apart. “Not everyone has a pretty little wife to go home to at night, Trey. Someone who gives a damn whether...”

Trey came off his stool so fast it almost toppled over. “Whose fault is that, asshole? You jerked Marisa around for years, and now you’re surprised that she doesn’t want you anymore? Suck it up and be a man. Do something about it or get over it. Don’t sit around here feelin’ sorry for yourself.”

“Get the hell outta my house.”

Trey laughed. “Truth hurts, doesn’t it? You think I give a shit if I’m pissin’ you off, man? I don’t. You know why? ‘Cause you were the one who had my back when all that shit was goin’ down with Sierra. You made me face the truth, whether I wanted to or not.” He lowered his head and his voice. “Shit, Luc, you’re the reason I got sober the first time around. You think I’m gonna forget that?”

Luc felt the guilt moving in to replace the fury. “I’m sorry, Trey.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “You’re right. This is my fault. I just gotta accept that and move on.”

Trey shook his head. “I guess that’s one approach.”

“What do you mean?”

“You could cut and run, or you could swallow your pride and fight to keep the woman you love.”  

Marisa was grateful to see a familiar face when she got off the plane. She felt like she’d been gone for months instead of weeks.

Sierra crossed the distance between them quickly, meandering through throngs of tired passengers.

Stepping into her outstretched arms, Marisa whispered, “It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you guys.”

“We’ve missed you too, honey.” She pulled back, holding her friend at arm’s length so she could give her a thorough once over. “I’d like to say you look happy and rested, but I’m not gonna lie. You look like...”

“I just lost my best friend?” Marisa forced a smile as she linked her arm through Sierra’s. “Fortunately, I didn’t. Where’s that gorgeous niece of mine?”

“She’s having a little girl time with Auntie Lexi.” Sierra rolled her eyes. “They went to the spa for mani/pedis.”

Marisa laughed. “Never too early to get ‘em started. Where’s my brother? Why didn’t he come with you?”

“Trey had to go over to Luc’s to find out if everything’s all set for tonight.”

Marisa tried not to react at his name. She knew they would see each other tonight, but she wasn’t sure she would be able to stand her ground in the face of his resentment. “I’m sure Luc’s got everything under control. If that man knows how to do one thing, it’s throw a party.” She could think of several areas where Luc’s skills were unparalleled, but thinking about that now would only serve to remind her of how foolish she’d been to give him up, and she couldn’t allow herself to go there again.

“Luc’s been a little distracted since he got back,” Sierra said quietly. “I know you didn’t want to tell me what happened on the phone, but talking about it might help.”

“I don’t want to get into it right now. I just want to enjoy being home and focus on Trey’s big night, okay?”

“Sure, whatever you say. Just know that I’m here to listen whenever you decide you’re ready.”

Marisa was grateful her friends supported her no matter what life threw at her.

“Trey must be excited about the tour. He hasn’t been on the road in a while.”

“He is, but how do you feel about it?”

Marisa was torn. She loved her job as Trey’s stylist, and she needed the distraction work provided, but the thought of dealing with Luc on a regular basis was daunting. “I’m excited; being on the road is always fun. Are you still planning on meeting up with us for some of the dates?”