RunningScaredBN (36 page)

Wanting to see what she imagined was going to be a spectacular veranda and backyard, Riley pushed the glass door open and stepped out. And there he stood.

“Hello, Ingram.”

She had the thought that if he’d called her by her first name, she would have run. Where to, she didn’t know. She couldn’t think beyond the fact that Justin was here, in front of her. All she had to do was reach out, and her fingers would be on him. She could touch him the way she’d dreamed of a thousand times since the last time she saw him.
 

“I guess it’s pointless to ask who set this up.”

She was proud of herself. Her voice didn’t waver or quiver. She was matter-of-fact. Calm. Rational. Odd, but inside she was anything but. Emotions like fireworks were exploding inside her. She wanted to run. To stay. To leap into his arms and beg for his forgiveness. To tell him to leave, that they had nothing to say to each other. That she knew she had screwed up beyond all hope and didn’t deserve an ounce of forgiveness.

Instead, she stood there. Waiting. Hoping.
 

There were a thousand things Justin wanted to say to her. None of them seemed the right thing, though. She wore that wary, closed expression he knew all too well. At one time he’d thought it was because she was emotionless and cold. Then he’d learned it was a shield. A protection. Because beneath that façade were the emotions and feelings of a warm, gentle, compassionate soul. Riley had been so hurt, so damaged, that her only way to survive was to shut herself off from people, feelings. Things that could hurt her.

“Are you angry?”

She shook her head. “I should have guessed Anna would do something like this. She’s been urging me to call you. Talk to you.”

“I wish you had.”

She shook her head again. “I didn’t know what to say. How to say it.”

The sadness in her midnight blue eyes tore at him. It lightened his heart a little to see she no longer wore colored lenses. She had no reason to hide herself anymore. But she was still hurting and dammit he wanted to fix it.
 

Resisting the urge to go to her, hold her, he turned to the table and chairs behind him. “Let’s sit down. Want some lemonade?”

She sat down, watched in solemn silence as he poured two glasses of lemonade and handed her one. After taking a long swallow, she placed the glass on the table and looked around. “It’s beautiful here.” She frowned. “Anna told me this island belongs to a friend of hers. She never said who, though.”

“I think it belongs to someone in Thorne’s family.”

She nodded, seemingly out of ideas on small talk.

“Why did you run away?”

“I thought it was the right thing to do.”

“Tell me why.”

Her eyes took on a distant look, and she spoke in a slow, reflective tone. “Do you know why I wanted to work for LCR? For Noah?”

“To save lives. Rescue victims. Prevent what happened to you from happening to someone else.”

“Those reasons came later. Once I realized I could make a difference, my goals…” She frowned. “They didn’t change, really. I guess they developed, expanded.”

“Then why?”

She faced him then, and he thought it might be the bravest thing he’d ever seen her do. The longing in her eyes sliced into his heart.

“I wanted to see if I could be worth something. Be someone. I had been Lorraine and Lloyd’s good, obedient daughter. Trained to do as I was told. Never questioning. Never being anyone other than what they wanted to create. Then I became Dimitri’s trained pet. After that?” She lifted her shoulder in a small shrug. “Then I was nothing. Just an empty shell. I didn’t know who or what I was because I had no one to tell me what I should be. I was taking up space without any redeeming attributes.”

“That may be how you felt, but that’s not who you were. The abuse you suffered—”

“Yes, I know. I was taught to feel worthless and helpless, to have no mind or will of my own. That was how they controlled me.
 

“But don’t you see? Just because I realized that was wrong thinking, that no one should be treated that way, didn’t mean that I was suddenly filled with self-worth, that my life had meaning. I had to prove to myself that I was something besides a victim. That I was actually somebody.

“Noah didn’t believe I’d make it as an operative. He never said those words, but I knew what he thought. But you know what I absolutely loved?” Her voice thickened. “He gave me a chance. No one had ever expected anything of me before, other than blind obedience. Noah gave me a chance to prove myself. To be something.
 

“That, more than anything, made me determined to succeed.”

“And you succeeded beyond anyone’s expectations.”

“Yes, I did. LCR gave me purpose. I finally had a reason to get up in the morning. I was needed. Not only needed, I was damn good at what I did. I made a difference.”

“So why did you quit?”

She gave him an
are you kidding me?
look. “How could I not? I almost got you killed. Almost ruined the entire op. I put myself above others. The victims became secondary to my need for revenge.”

“No one begrudged you that. I sure as hell didn’t.”

“You were furious with me. And you had every right to be.”

“I was furious with the situation, not you. Though, when you kept saying it was your fight, like I wasn’t personally involved, too, that pissed me off. Believe me, it was very personal to me. I wanted to rip Dimitri’s head off for what he did to you. I understood why you felt you had to do it.”

“It was wrong of me.”

“It was human.”

“But I—

“What do you want me to say? That it was a bone-headed thing to do? Okay, yeah. It was. And you know what? If I were in the same position, I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You’re too noble. Too—”

Justin gave a disgusted snort. “Bullshit, Ingram. Where’d you get the idea that I’m anything but human just like you? I’m fallible. Imperfect.”

She gave a little smile. “I never said you were perfect.”

“Good. Perfect is not only boring, it’s impossible. Besides, that’s the thing about families, Ingram. You don’t have to be perfect. They love you just the way you are.”
 

A glowing warmth suffused her entire body. LCR was her family. And she had left them as if they didn’t matter, when the truth was, they meant the world to her.

Swallowing hard, she looked away from him again, chewed on her lip. “So where do we go from here? You and I?”

“What do you want?”

“I want…” She shook her head, swallowed hard. “I want—”

“Hell,” Justin whispered. Unable to have her so close and not touch her, he held out his hand. “Come here.”

“What?”

“I can’t sit here any longer and not hold you. Come here. Please, sweetheart?”

She stood and allowed him to pull her down onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her for a few seconds. Riley closed her eyes, absorbing his warmth, his strength. She never thought she’d be this close to him again.

“Tell me what you want, Riley.”

What did she want? She had been so focused on what she needed to do, what she should do, she had rarely given thought to what she wanted. But now, now she knew there was something she wanted more than anything.

She buried her face against his neck. “You. Oh please, Justin, I want you so very much.”

He squeezed her tighter, dropped a kiss on her head. “Good, baby,” he said, his voice a husky whisper. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

Happiness like she’d never believed possible flooded through her. He still wanted her, despite all the stupid things she’d done.
 

“What else do you want?”

“I know Noah is disappointed in me, but I want to work for LCR again. If he’ll let me.”

“McCall knew I was coming here. Told me to tell you your resignation was never accepted.”

“And we’ll still be partners?”

“That’s never going to change.”

“Justin?”

“Yeah?”

She opened her eyes, then sat up in his lap. This was too important to cower or hide from. Holding his gaze with hers, she said the words she’d never said to anyone before. “I love you.”

With a groan, he took her mouth with his, the kiss sweet, gentle. And then it became something else as his lips moved over hers. Riley opened her mouth, and his tongue delved inside, tangling with hers. Within seconds, they were panting, caressing each other as if they’d never let the other go.

Pulling away slightly, he looked down at her. “I love you, too, Riley Ingram. So damn much.”

She reached up, trapped his mouth with hers, playing, wanting, needing.

They parted again, both breathless and needy.

“You asked what I wanted. Tell me what you want.” She scooted around on his lap, straddling him. “What do you, Justin Kelly, want?”

A beautiful smile curved his mouth, and she knew from the way he answered that he’d given this a lot of thought. “I want to have fun with you. Take you places you’ve never been. Hear you laugh. I want to dance with you. Make love to you till we can barely move or speak from exhaustion. I want to see happiness in your eyes. A smile on your luscious mouth. I want to hear you giggle at a corny joke. See you roll your eyes at the ridiculous things in life. I want to see you happy.”

“What if I don’t know how to be happy?”

“Baby, you’ve got so much love and goodness stored up inside you. There’s no doubt in my mind that you can be happy.”

“Teach me?”

He spoke against her lips. “We’ll teach each other.” And then he swept her away on a tidal wave of love and acceptance that she’d never believed was possible.

Riley Ingram, the girl who had never belonged to anyone, had finally found her way home.
 

Thank you for reading
Running Scared, An LCR Elite Novel
. I hope you enjoyed it.

1. This book is lendable. Share it with a friend who enjoys dark and steamy romantic suspense.

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Other Books by Christy Reece

LCR Elite Series

Running On Empty
, An LCR Elite Novel

Chance Encounter
, An LCR Elite Novel

Last Chance Rescue Series

Rescue Me
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Return To Me
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Run To Me
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

No Chance
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Second Chance
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Last Chance
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Sweet Justice
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Sweet Revenge
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Sweet Reward
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Chances Are
, A Last Chance Rescue Novel

Grey Justice Series

Nothing To Lose
, A Grey Justice Novel

Whatever It Takes
, A Grey Justice Novel

Wildefire Series
 

Writing as Ella Grace

Midnight Secrets
, A Wildefire Novel

Midnight Lies
, A Wildefire Novel

Midnight Shadows
, A Wildefire Novel

Acknowledgements:

Special thanks to the following people for helping make this book possible:

My husband, for his love, support, numerous moments of comic relief, and respecting my chocolate stash.

Joyce Lamb, for her copyediting, fabulous advice, and for helping to make Riley and Justin’s story shine.

Marie Force’s eBook Formatting Fairies, who always answers my endless questions with endless patience.

Tricia Schmitt (Pickyme) for her awesomely beautiful cover art.

The Reece’s Readers Facebook street team, for all your support and encouragement.

Anne Woodall, my first reader, who always goes above and beyond, and then goes the extra mile, too. You’re awesome!

My beta readers, for reading so quickly, all the catches you guys made, and your great advice.
 

Linda Clarkson, proofreader extraordinaire, who did an amazing job, in an unbelievably tight timeframe. So appreciate your eagle eye, Linda!
 

And to all my readers, a very special thank you! Without you, this book and all the others, past and future, would not be possible.