Running Northwest (43 page)

Stephanie felt nervous and vulnerable, but for some reason at ease. She needed someone to confide in, someone to talk too about all that was going on in her head and heart. She needed it to be someone who would just listen, who could understand maybe, more than anything she needed help. Then Stephan
ie said, “You’re not crazy Ann.”

Ann smiled at Stephanie, leaned forward, hugged her, and then said, “let’s go for a walk Sweetie, you look like you got a lot to say and a lot on that heart of yours. Tell me your story and maybe I can help,” then she patted the young woman’s hand.

“I don’t know if you can, I wish you could but I don’t know if you can” Stephanie said as a few tears rolled down her cheek.

“Well tears never made things any easier so put those away for now and lets walk and talk…and maybe sit I’m feeling a little old today” Ann said.

“Oh my God Ann did you walk here from your house” Stephanie asked slightly exasperated and concerned about her old friend walking that far.

Ann bent over, laughed hard, and in her raspy voice said, “Oh hell no I’m far too old for that crap, drove my old ass here Sweetie. Now let’s get to the good stuff”. Ann gently took Stephanie by the arm and turned her in the opposite direction.

Stephanie smiled and the two friends began walking down Hemlock St. and eventually any direction the conversation took them as they meandered through town. Stephanie let it all out, everything she had done to Thomas five years ago and more, all the head games and heart breaks. Stephanie spoke of her life from back then until now and what she knew about Thomas’ life in Oregon and how she found out. She broke down crying several times while talking such as when she told Ann about the Sinatra music collection she owned because of Thomas. Eventually despite the light rain, they ended up sitting at a wooden bench between Santos Café and a bright blue building that sold kites. Ann held on to Stephanie’s hand as she talked and cried. Ann just listened, smiled and laughed a few times at the funnier things the younger lady said.

After about an hour of Stephanie opening up to Ann and being more honest about her feelings than she had been with anyone even to herself in a long time she finally stopped. She was breathing hard and tears had stained her already rain soaked face. After taking a few minutes to calm down, she looked at Ann and said, “So that’s it, that’s all of it, now you know more than almost anyone. But I have one question for you Ann, how did you know”.

“Well my dear you were somewhat of a mystery to some people around here that have seen you. Most folks…when they come to Cannon Beach are on vacations and have a significant other with them and occasionally annoying kids that they do not control. Personally, I would prefer they bring their dogs and not their kids, since the dogs have better manners but that is just me. They do the normal tourist things and are always in a hurry because they think they have to rush around these parts. When they do that they end up missing a lot, ignoring the best parts of life around here. They do not see the real reasons why people like Ben and I, Jack and Beth or that crazy Pockets and many others live here year round and why we stay. To most tourists the people that live here are part of the surroundings; they don’t see us as individuals or take the time to get to know us on their visit. Let me tell you one thing honey this town is more than that big rock out there in the water and the cute shops; its heart is deeper than that”

Stephanie nodded a little and smiled but then said, “I guess I don’t understand though, you said I was a mystery”.

Ann smiled her wicked knowing smile and then said “you are dear you are. The reason why you are a mystery is that you do not seem interested in too many of those things. You’re not here doing most of the typical touristy stuff, you’re not in a rush and a hurry to get and be somewhere and do something”, Ann said then adding, “Ben and I watch you at night you know…walking up and down the beach down there alone and talking to yourself. We see you sitting on that deck late at night alone with a glass of wine just looking out over the ocean and thinking to yourself. I suppose most people come to these parts to see things and do something out of their normal day-to-day lives that is different. However, you came here to find something I am thinking and we see that and that…is the mystery. You are not the first person that has come here trying to find something that is missing in them and their lives. You may not know what that is y
et or how to find it but you will.”

Stephanie smiled, in some ways she felt like she was talking to her grandmother and in another way; it felt she was talking to her mother. Ann was dead on about her thoughts though and Stephanie was surprised that her actions and what she was doing on the coast were that much out of the ordinary. “So how did you know it
had something to do with a man
?
”
Stephanie asked.

Ann slapped her leg and laughed, “Well I wondered about that anyway since I met you on your first day here. Figured you had just broken up with someone or been broken up with, or gotten a divorce and these things happen. Sometimes this place out here is the best place to start fixing a broken heart and mending a lost soul. That’s why big Tom came out here bout five years ago now, but you know that already,” the old woman said as she waved her arm and pointed towards the sea as she spoke.

Stephanie felt awkward for a moment and was not sure if Ann was judging her but then she thought better of it. She managed out a thin smile and said, “Yeah, well now you know what was behind it I guess for both of us”

“Don’t worry Sweetie I don’t think less you, I don’t believe doors close forever, sometimes we just forget how to unlock them that’s all. Oh and I’ll answer your original question better, last night at dinner was a big give away. When Tom and his boy were brought up in the conversation after we saw his shop on the TV and you dropped your wine glass…well I figured there was something there. After we all went home and I checked on you I sat in my lumpy-ass chair at home and thought about it and I put most of it together or pretty sure I did at least” Ann said.

Stephanie laughed a little “I was afraid I was
too
obvious about that whole thing
.
”

“Yeah well…what are the chances of two people from the same town in Michigan being here at the same time, not very big I’d say Sweetie. Ann said then adding I’m hungry are you hungry?”

“Yes I’m a little hungry,” Stephanie, answered quietly with more on her mind than food but she did need to eat.

“Sounds good, I think that little pizza place up the sidewalk there is open and I’m pretty sure they serve liquor and I could use a stiff drink” Ann said looking at Stephanie. Then she wi
ped a tear off the young lady’s
face and added, “hell I think we both could use a drink or two, we can talk more once we get liquored up, you look like hell Sweetie” she finished with an evil laugh.

Stephanie and Ann got up and started walking up the path past the café and towards the restaurant. When Stephanie stopped and grabbed Ann by the hand. “Ann” she said softly
.

“What’s up dear
,
” Ann replied smiling.

“Thank you; I really needed this more than you know. I’m not sure why you came into my life but I’m glad you did” Stephanie said as she reached her arms around the old woman and hugged her.

“Oh Sweetie, I just hope this old woman can help you out a little bit” Ann said as they stopped hugging and walked into the restaurant for lunch.

.
             
.
             
.

Thomas was sitting in the office when he heard the front door open up and the little bell above it jingle. Harley and Layla who had been lying on two large pillows on the floor next to his desk lifted their heads quickly and growled lightly. Then there tails began to wag ever so slowly as an apparently familiar smell entered their noses. He flipped on his TV monitor for the cameras and saw it was Tracie. Looking at his phone he saw it was just after noon; she was late. His heart began beating faster as she made her way thru the shop. She walked into the back storage room and set her coat and purse down not even realizing Thomas was right behind her in his office. He squinted his eyes tightly, cocked his head and watched her; she looked like she was in rough shape.

“Good morning,” Thomas finally said in his deep bass voice, which caused Tracie to jump nearly out of her boots, reaching for something to use as a weapon before seeing that is was Thomas sitting there.

“Jesus Christ Thomas you scared the shit out of me” She said then adding “I didn’t even know you were here, I didn’t see your truck outside”

“Yeah I parked behind the shop today, you’re late, everything okay today,” he asked noticing she made no effort to hug or kiss him and was evading eye contact.

“Yeah I’m fine, I’m gunna go get to work” She said as she turned to walk away.

“Hold that thought and have a seat in here” Thomas said not showing any emotion at all.

Tracie paused at the corner, her back still to Thomas. He could see her sigh deeply and assumed she was rolling her eyes. She turned around and sat in the chair in Thomas’ office.

After sitting down she petted the head of Layla who was closest to her looked at Thomas and said, “Okay, what’s up” as she glanced around the room.

“Well for one, we are closed today. Because of the storm and everything going on in town, I don’t see a point in staying open for the day. I have some things here I have to fix here anyway” he said pointing to the busted window.

“So I drove here for nothing, that’s awesome,” she said sarcastically.

Thomas was livid inside but did not show it and said, “Tracie, I called you twice over an hour ago and you sent me to voice mail. IF you had answered your phone or at least called me back you would have known not to come in today, but since you haven’t answered any of my phone calls for the last four or five days I wasn’t surprised to get sent to voicemail again”

She said nothing and just sat there biting her nails. Thomas could not tell what if anything was going on in her head. The chip on her shoulder was already showing and was taking up space in the room that was obvious and Thomas wasn’t gunna just take it.

“Yeah about that sorry I was busy and stuff,” Tracie stammered out.

Obviously, Tracie was acting her age today instead of a grownup, which was not going to make things any easier.

“Okay fine you were busy sure, all right then Tracie let’s just cut to the chase here so we can get this figured out now and not later; what’s going on with us. Do you want there to be an ‘us’ or what? I am a little old for the head games and drama. You told me you wanted to try this and see what could happen. For some reason that nobody, especially me, understands, you seemed to have flipped on me; now it feels like you’ve changed your mind,” he said looking his supposed girlfriend square in the eye.

Her face grew redder as the seconds went by and she could feel it. As was her nervous habit, she began tapping her nails on Thomas’ desk. She did not say anything for nearly two minutes as she tried to avoid her boyfriend’s question and glare. In her mind she was hoping for anything; a phone call, a stray customer, even Derrick…anything to put off this whole conversation. Nothing came.

“What do you want me to say, Thomas? That I’m sorry I didn’t answer calls? That I’m sorry I was being a bitch and ignoring you?” she finally said with a condescending tone.

Thomas looked at her blankly and said, “Tracie, I’m not expecting an apology. I know who I’m dealing with. I am expecting the decency of some answers, however. It’s rather simple; I just want to know what’s going on and if this relationship is something you want to pursue or not. And if not, I want to know why. I think I deserve that much don’t you? Considering everything that has gone on between us as friends and otherwise. Or is that asking too much?”

Tracie looked at the man in confronting her, sighed and said, “No, Thomas – this isn’t something I want anymore.”

“I’m not gunna lie, got that impression. I have been around for a while, and I know what being blown off feels like. So just why exactly do you not want this?”

Tracie wanted to be careful; she knew she had already upset Thomas with her actions. She loved him as a friend and did not want to lose that, but she was not happy with things. The selfish part of her was also worried about her job; she had seen Thomas fire people for basically looking at him the wrong way. She needed the work. Still, Thomas wanted honesty, so she was as honest as she could be.

“You’re just…you’re old, Thomas,” she sputtered out. As soon as she did so, she knew it was the wrong thing to say; worded badly at the very least. Either way, it sounded far worse than how she had meant it.

As he sat in front of Tracie in his cramped office at Sunset Café, Thomas could feel his heart beat faster with what had just came out of Tracie’s mouth.

Then he thundered out in his deep voice “What does that even mean,
what
the hell do you mean I’m too old, I’m not
too damn old Tracie I’m only 35.
”