Running Fire (28 page)

“This is so peaceful,” Leah murmured. She watched Kell handily flip the burgers.

“Something we don't get much of,” he agreed, sitting down opposite her at the picnic table.

“I've been doing a lot of thinking, Kell.”

He held her serious gaze. “Things we couldn't talk about when I was overseas?” Even though they could talk via Skype, personal things were off-limits.

Leah smiled a little and sipped the white wine. “Yes. It took me about a month to shake off the initial shock from what happened to me and Harper. I had nightmares for a while, too, but they're going away over time.” She twisted the slender stem of the wineglass between her fingers, staring down at it. “I'm going to resign my commission to the Army, Kell. Are you all right with that?” Lifting her chin, Leah needed to see his reaction.

“I figured that was coming,” he said quietly. “And I couldn't be happier about your decision, Leah.” Because he'd have worried himself sick when she was deployed back into a combat theater.

“How did you know?”

Kell shrugged, tipped the beer up and took a drink, then set the empty bottle aside. “I think it goes back to your childhood, Leah. To your father.” He held out his hand and captured hers. “I think you joined the Army to try to get him to love you, or at least pay some attention to you.”

Hurt drifted through Leah, his strong fingers holding hers so gently. Nodding, she whispered, “You're right.” And then she stared into Kell's somber face, searching those gray eyes of his. She saw sadness in them—for her. “You saw it all along?”

“It's easy to see things when you're not swimming in the fishbowl.” Kell shared a warm look with her. “I think it's time you decided what's best for you, instead of trying to be something for someone else so they will pay attention to you. You were trapped and you couldn't have realized what you were doing or why you were doing it, Leah.”

“I realize now that everything I did was to please my father. To get him to love me...”

“He must have seen you had a lot on the ball to invite you into the Shadow Squadron. Only the finest aviators get asked. So he saw you, Leah, in his own way. Maybe not as his child or his daughter, but he did acknowledge your flight skills.”

Leah felt a soul-deep sadness, the abandonment scoring her heart. “I feel like I've lived my entire life for him, not for myself, Kell.”

“Sugar, you saved a lot of men's lives by making the choices you did. You braved danger and you were indispensable in the role you played in those operators' lives. You got something of worth out of it.”

“You're right,” Leah admitted. “I love flying. What I don't like is the violence, Kell. And with Hayden nearly killing me and Harper, it's just pushed me over the edge. I don't want to go back and be in my father's squadron. I don't want to be in violent places or situations anymore. I've had it.”

“Then don't. I'll support whatever you want to do, Leah. And frankly, I'm happy because it means you're not going back into harm's way.”

Relief flooded her. Kell released her hand and walked to the grill. He took the huge platter and scooped up all the burgers and set them on the table. He picked up the bottle of wine and refilled her glass, and then ambled into the kitchen, to the refrigerator, to fetch himself another cold beer.

When he returned, he sat down, holding her gaze. “I'm glad you're going home with me to meet my family. There's time for you to sort out what you really want to do with your life.” And then he gave Leah a crooked, little-boy smile. “So long as you marry me, of course.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

L
EAH
'
S
HANDS
GREW
damp as Kell pulled the SUV rental into the dairy farm run by his parents. The late-November sky was a bright blue and the surrounding hills had mostly naked gray and brown trees. It had snowed the night before and patches of white were still here and there. She saw the huge red barn and two tall red silos next to it. There were miles of pristine white fence, thirty black-and-white Holstein dairy cows in two different pastures. The grass was yellowed and the cows stood out against the color. The family home was a large, three-story, rectangular redbrick structure, probably five thousand square feet in total.

The white picket fence around the huge yard warmed Leah's heart. It represented home. How she wished she'd had a stable one. Kell drew to a crawl as he guided the vehicle through an outer gate and down a muddy road that led to home.

“You grew up in one place,” she said to Kell. “You never had to move around.” Leah wondered what that kind of stability would have been like. Her father moved every two years. Kell was the epitome of stability and now Leah understood where it had come from.

“No place like home,” Kell murmured, reaching over and gripping her hand in her lap. “Doing okay?” He knew Leah was worried about meeting his family, afraid she would somehow not measure up or fit in. She was anxious, afraid of being judged by all of them.

Kell had tried to tell her that her family would welcome her with open arms, love her and would never judge her. It wasn't in the family genes. Her fingers were clammy. “They won't bite you, Sugar,” he teased, meeting her anxious-looking eyes for a moment.

Her mouth pulled in. “I want to believe you,” she muttered. “I—I just worry is all, Kell.”

He nodded and squeezed her fingers gently, trying to give her silent support. “They're excited to meet you.”

Suddenly, two people emerged from the house. Leah's pulse took off in leaps and bounds. It had to be Kell's parents. They opened the screened-in porch door and walked down the steps, coming to meet them. The noon sunlight was bright and it was a coolish forty-five degrees. As they drew closer, she could see Orin Ballard was very tall. Kell had said he was six feet five inches tall. His mother, Mary, was closer to her height.

“See?” Kell murmured teasingly, “they're smiling.”

Leah gulped and nodded. Orin was in a denim set of coveralls and wore a red flannel shirt beneath his brown barn coat. His arm was around his wife, Mary, who wore a set of black wool slacks, a white blouse with a red knit cape thrown around her shoulders.

It had been nearly a year since Kell had last visited his parents. Leah wondered how the rural couple coped with three sons in the the black ops community, always in harm's way. Yet, Orin's oval face, although weathered, didn't look worried or anxious. His parents were in their midfifties, but she couldn't believe it; they both exuded youth and vitality. Maybe being out in the country did it?

Leah felt a surge of relief as her gaze rested on Mary's square face. She had her dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her blue eyes were large and warm with joy. Kell braked to a stop outside the picket fence gate.

“Come on, let's meet my parents. They're going to love you, Leah,” he reassured her.

Leah rubbed her hands down the sides of her jeans and Kell walked around and opened the door for her. She gripped his hand, maneuvering out of the huge SUV. The sweet odor of decaying leaves on the ground and the clean, cool air mixed and made her breathe deeply. Kell opened the gate and urged Leah through it to the wet, gleaming concrete sidewalk. She was glad he placed his arm around her waist, drawing her next to him, as if sensing her trepidation.

Leah saw the delight on Mary's face. She walked forward and, instead of hugging her son, she threw her arms around Leah first.

“Welcome home, Leah. I'm Mary.” She released her, smiling and bringing her husband forward. “And this is Orin, my husband.”

Orin smiled and thrust out his huge, work-worn hand to Leah. “Welcome home, Leah. We're glad to see you and Kell.”

His hand was calloused, strong, but he monitored the strength of his grip as he gently enfolded Leah's proffered hand.

“Hi, thanks,” she murmured, feeling suddenly foolish for ever thinking Kell's parents would be anything else but kind, like he was.

Mary moved over to Kell. “Son, good to have you home!” She leaned upward and threw her arms around his massive shoulders.

Leah stepped aside so Kell could fully embrace his mother. Hot tears leaked into her eyes and she looked down at her feet, trying not to let them fall. She felt a hand settle on her shoulder, patting her gently.

“Been a long road home for you, hasn't it, Leah?” Orin asked quietly.

Sniffing, Leah glanced up into the man's kind gray eyes. Kell's eyes. She was amazed at the wisdom and understanding Orin had. “Y-yes, you're right.” She self-consciously wiped at her cheeks. Orin patted her shoulder, as if understanding. Leah didn't know if Kell had told his parents about her background or not. She assumed he had. After all, he was going to marry her.

Once Mary released Kell, Orin went over and gave his son a huge, long bear hug. Leah felt more tears falling. The love between father and son struck her deeply. She looked back on her own life, her father missing from it, realizing that these two parents had invested their lives, hearts and souls into Kell and his brothers. It showed in so many large and small ways.

Mary came over. “I can see why Kell fell in love with you,” she said, smiling into her eyes. “You're so beautiful!”

Heat flood Leah's face. She had never considered herself beautiful. “Thanks, Mary.”

“I heard that,” Kell murmured, claiming Leah, his arm curving around her shoulders.

Orin smiled and looked over at his wife. “They make a nice couple, don't they, Pet?”

“Surely, they do,” Mary said, tears springing to her eyes as she gave them a wobbly smile. “Come in. I have coffee, tea and Kell's favorite cookies waiting for us!”

Kell urged Leah up the wooden stairs and opened the screen door for her and his parents.

There was a big red porch swing at one end. Everything seemed so personal, so family-like. Kell opened the door leading into the house and ushered her inside to a large foyer. There were several rugs for people to wipe off their boots. Kell called it a mud room. And a bench to take them off, as well, if they were caked with dirt or snow. Kell removed her jacket and hung it up on a thick wooden peg next to his. Leah smelled bread baking and she internally shook herself. She felt as though she'd walked back into that old television series she loved to watch reruns of.
The Waltons
. This place reminded her sharply of that famous TV family who had a farm during the Depression.

In the huge, sunny kitchen that faced west, Leah saw a long, rectangular trestle table at one end, with six wooden chairs surrounding it. The pale yellow walls made the place bright and cheery. Kell led her to the table and pulled out a chair for her. Mary came in and brought a big platter of chocolate chip cookies and set them in front of her. Kell walked to the counter and poured them both coffee and brought the mugs over.

“Can I help you at all, Mary?” Leah asked.

“Mercy, no,” Mary said. “My sons were taught to take care of themselves around here. I wasn't going to be a kitchen slave to them.” She grinned.

Orin made himself and his wife some tea and ambled over, sitting down opposite Leah. He placed a mug of tea opposite him where his wife would sit. “Mary's an RN,” he explained. “We have a local hospital nearby and she's the head of obstetrics. Gets to welcome the little ones into the world.” He reached for a jar of honey in the center of the table and poured some into the tea. Then he gently nudged it toward Mary's awaiting hand.

“And you take care of the dairy farm?” Leah asked. Orin was a huge man. If she thought Kell's shoulders were broad, they weren't compared to his father's set. Orin was darkly tanned, deep lines in his face from being out in the sunlight, fresh air and inclement weather. She liked his warm gray eyes, that humor lurking in their depths. How much Kell was like his father in that way!

“I do. We have a herd of sixty milk cows,” he said. “I've got hired help, but it's still a full-time job.”

Mary sat opposite her husband. She pushed the plate of cookies toward Leah. “I just baked these. You'd best hurry and grab some. Cody and Tyler are out in the woods hunting for a couple of wild turkeys for our Thanksgiving meal. I can promise you, they'll smell these cookies on the wind a mile away. And as soon as they do, they'll hightail it back here.” She chuckled. “Then, there's going to be a fight to see who gets the most first.”

Orin laughed indulgently and took two of her freshly baked cookies. “Now, Pet, if you weren't such a good cook, we men wouldn't be fighting over the leftover crumbs all the time.”

Leah watched Kell stack six cookies by his cup, no fool. There was such warmth in this kitchen, and it wasn't because of the woodstove in the corner, either. “They're out hunting a turkey?”

“Yep,” Orin said, savoring his cookie. “One of my sons, at least, tries to make it home for Thanksgiving. I usually go out with him and we find a wild turkey that wants to volunteer to give up its life to us and be eaten.”

“Only this time,” Mary sighed happily, “all three boys are home at the same time. That's a miracle in itself.”

“And Kell's brought his fiancée,” Orin pointed out proudly, beaming. “That's a first among our sons.”

Kell grinned and looked over at Leah. “All three of us swore on our graves we'd never settle down.” He hadn't brought Addison home to meet his family before marrying her. Kell had been young, immature and had promised to rectify the mistake he'd made if he ever got the chance. The joy in his parents' faces told him everything.

“Oh.” Leah chortled, giving Mary a look. “Guess that didn't work out, did it?”

Mary patted her hand. “You have
no
idea how long I've waited for one of my sons to get hitched, Leah. Kell's first marriage didn't work out, unfortunately. After the divorce, he said he'd never get married again. I was chewing his ear off a year ago that he was going to end up a lonely, crotchety old bachelor. I'm glad he changed his mind and fell in love with you.”

“Now, Pet,” Orin soothed, “the boys all have good hearts. I told you, when the right women sashayed into their lives, they'd fall like a ton of bricks, marry them and settle down for good.”

“And have some grandchildren,” Mary added enthusiastically. “Soon.”

Leah smiled softly and felt so much a part of Kell's family. They treated her as a much-cherished daughter-in-law.

Kell held up his hand. “Now, Ma, don't go there. I've barely gotten her to agree to marry me. Leah's a career woman. Family will come, but in time. So give her some breathing space. Okay?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “I can wish, can't I?”

Everyone nodded and smiled.

“Hey, Kell!”

Leah jerked her head up at the booming male voice carrying through the kitchen. She turned, seeing two men, both over six feet tall, entering the kitchen, grinning like fools.

Kell snorted and got up, giving Leah's shoulder a squeeze. “My brothers are loud and noisy, as you can tell,” he murmured, smiling into her eyes. “I'm going to say hello to them.”

“Noisy?” Cody crowed, placing one of the turkeys they'd shot into the sink. He waved hello to Leah, whom he'd met months earlier. “Hey, Leah, how are you?”

“I'm fine, Cody, thank you.”

“Welcome to our noisy brood,” he called, giving his older brother a devilish look of welcome. Cody placed the rifle in the corner, turned and took Kell into his embrace, slapping him heartily on the back.

Leah watched Tyler, who was the quiet SEAL, set a second wild turkey into the sink. He glanced in her direction, his gaze inquisitive. Leah smiled a little, feeling the intensity of Tyler's hazel-eyed stare. He had that SEAL look. That instant focus, like a laser.

“I thought you and Leah were coming later this afternoon,” Cody said, releasing Kell. He pushed his green Army baseball cap up off his broad brow, grabbing a mug and pouring himself some coffee.

Kell went over and hugged Tyler, who grinned and slapped him on the back. He released him and stepped aside. “We got a flight in a little earlier than expected,” he said.

Tyler set his rifle in the corner and then took off his black baseball cap, tucking it in his back pocket. “Introduce me to your lady,” he said to Kell, motioning toward Leah.

“Sure,” Kell said, walking over to the table.

Leah stood and felt nervous beneath Tyler's focused observation. She'd been around enough SEALs to know he was missing nothing about her. She held out her hand toward him. “Hi, Tyler. I'm Leah. Nice to meet you.”

Tyler looked at her hand and then gave her a sudden, pained look. “What is this I hear?” he teased. “You're marrying this troublemaker of a brother of mine? I think this needs more than a handshake, don't you?”

Leah was caught off guard when Tyler stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her and gave her a quick, warm, welcoming hug. She felt his controlled strength, smelled the cold, fresh air on his dark blue T-shirt he wore. And when he pulled away, his hazel eyes were dancing with welcome. His sudden warmth surprised her, but he made her feel sincerely welcomed. That was a relief for her.

“Welcome to our family,” Tyler said, releasing her. He turned his attention to his brother and playfully punched Kell in his upper arm. “How'd you get so damned lucky? Usually you're stepping in cow pies, bro. She's hot.”

Leah blushed. She watched the brothers tussle with one another and it developed into playful wrestling. Kell stood about two inches taller than Tyler, and he had a wicked grin on his face. There was a lot of love between these brothers, she realized. They were tight with one another. She remembered how attached she'd been to Evan. When he died, a huge piece of her died with him because they had gotten along like these three brothers did with one another. Bittersweetness flowed through her heart for her Evan. She missed him to this day.