RUINING ANGEL (2 page)

‘Mom! Mom! Please wake up. Please, I need you!’

I can hear Carlos’ car tear out of the driveway, only to be replaced by the sounds of the paramedics moments later. Hurried footsteps make their way to the bedroom and I’m confronted by a man and woman in uniform.

‘Can you help my mommy?’

‘I’m sure gonna try buddy, how about you go out into the living room with Tammy while I work here, okay?’ He smiles kindly at me, but something in his eyes doesn’t give me any hope.

Tammy the paramedic leads me back into the living room and sits with me on the sofa.

‘Is she going to die?’ I’m trying to be brave, but the tears won’t stop leaking from my eyes. Tammy brushes my tousled hair from my face and offers her most sympathetic expression.

‘We’re not sure what’s wrong with your mommy just yet honey.’

‘But if she dies, who will be my family then?’

Her look says it all. She doesn’t have any more of a clue than I do.

CHAPTER TWO - The Michaels

Today’s the day I get to meet my new parents. It has been four months since my mom died and I miss her so much, but I’m excited to see who has said they want to keep me for good –

without even having met me!

The foster home has been nice but I can’t stay there forever. I’m told that a couple named Mr. and Mrs. Michaels are going to adopt me. I’ll try to be brave so that my new parents will like me. I don’t want to do anything that will ruin my chances of finding a family like the ones I have seen on television.

Margaret from Social Services is already here. She’s having coffee in the living room while I get ready. I’m left to have a bath that is already drawn for me. I wash myself and brush my teeth. While I brush, I stare back at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. There is no sign of the neglected boy that came to live here some months ago. My skin is clean and my hair cut, of which I am proud, because I think it makes me look handsome.

Dressing quickly, I then pack the rest of my new clothes into a plastic bag. Carefully, I slip the nice new white cotton socks on to my feet, wiggling my toes and marveling at the feel before I slide my new sneakers on. This is the first time in my life I have had shoes. They’re so wonderful and bouncy that I start to jump around the room, enjoying the moment until Margaret checks on me.

In the living room, people are waiting for me. It’s a big day. I know they are all worried about me, but I’m really happy to be going to a new home. I settle on the sofa and try not to fidget while I wait for the Michaels to arrive.

A car pulls into the driveway. It sounds big, like a SUV or something. My palms get sweaty and I know I must have my serious look on my face. Margaret and my foster mother get up to go and greet my new parents at the door. I try to look around them to grab the first glimpses of them as they come through the door.

The sight of them makes me feel light, like I could fly over to them.

They look like they just stepped out of a catalogue that I used to see in the mail box, the kind where they advertise clothing department stores for families. The man is tall, broad shouldered with a kind smile. He’s already thinning a little on top, but he’s big and looks strong. The woman is beautiful. She has shoulder-length auburn hair and blue eyes twinkle as they take in the sight of me. She has on a pretty white sundress with red flowers on it, not the sort of thing my real mother had ever worn.

They seem a bit scared as they both step further into the living room, bringing a little of the outside heat in with them. Margaret is keen to make introductions.

‘Emmett, this is George and Kathy Michaels, your new adoptive parents. Mr. and Mrs. Michaels, this is Emmett.’ I smile shyly at them, unsure of whether to do anything. They move towards me and sit next to me on the sofa.

‘It’s really nice to meet you,’ Kathy Michaels says, ‘We’ve been looking forward to today so we can take you home to meet Bailey –

she’ll be your sister.’ I look from Mr. and Mrs. Michaels, unsure of this development.

‘A sister?’ It’s the first time I have spoken in hours and my voice is croaky from not using it.

They all looks nervously at one other, not quite sure what to say.

The social worker, Margaret decides to interject.

‘The Michaels already have a daughter. Her name is Bailey.’

‘I’ve never had a sister before,’ I say worriedly, looking back and forth from Mr. and Mr. Michaels. My new mother smiles kindly, the corner of her eyes crinkling as she does so.

‘That’s okay, Emmett. Why don’t you just think of her as a new friend to play with?’

‘Excellent idea, Kathy. Would you like a friend to play with, Emmett?’ asks Mr. Michaels.

I scrunch my face up while I think about this.

‘I guess so. I mean, she’s nice and all, isn’t she?’ Everybody laughs at once, and I smile, although I don’t quite get the joke.

‘You’re going to just love her!’ beams Mrs. Michaels. Her happiness makes me happy too. I smile widely. For some reason I don’t doubt her for a second.

CHAPTER THREE - Just Kids

The year I turned thirteen we headed off for our summer vacation to Astoria, Oregon. We’ve driven all the way from Washington DC.

Mom and Dad have hired a cottage on the hill for us to live in for the next couple of weeks.

When we arrive, Bailey and I fight over who gets which room, but I surrender the room I first claim dibs on because her pouty lips get to me. I can’t stand to see her upset; I want her to be happy.

Sometimes I think that she was here first (with our parents, I mean) so she deserves first choice with everything. Her happiness makes me feel settled in our family.

Today, mom and dad have hired a sailing boat. Bailey looks none too pleased, although I assure her I will look after her. She’s only ten, and still scares easily. I want to protect her, and promise her I won’t let anything bad happen.

It’s very windy. The water is choppy and the little sail boat bobs mercilessly on the surface. We put on our wetsuits over our swimwear and zip up the life vests that have been supplied by the boat hire place. I take Bailey’s hand in mine and sit with her on the rear seat of the sailing boat. She looks pale, so I pull her close and snuggle her to my body. Everything about her is familiar – her smell, her touch, the way her breath reaches my face when she’s panting hard, trying to act brave as out boat crests wave after wave.

‘Don’t worry, Bailey. I won’t let anything happen to you,’ I promise.

‘Thank you, Emmett.’ Her voice is just a whisper above the roar of the ocean, but I hear it all the same. ‘Are you sure sharks aren’t waiting to eat us?’

‘No,’ I promise, ‘they’re off eating something with much more meat on their bones than you.’ She laughs now, clearly happy with my reasoning and willing to accept what I tell her.

As I promise her, the rest of our trip on the bay remains uneventful.

From memory, it is one of the happiest times I spent with my new family. I get to do something fun and exciting, but also get to comfort my very best friend – Bailey.

I recognize how much I depend on her for my own happiness. She has become a lifeline, something I need in my life to keep moving and maintain my sanity. Everything about her makes me forget my old life. The darkness, the loneliness. She makes me feel happy and free, like I could do anything or be anyone.

As much as she feels like I am comforting her, really, it is the other way around.

CHAPTER FOUR – Surrender Y ourself

I’m in my room, ear phones on, listening to a CD on the boom box I got for my fourteenth birthday this year. It’s too big to take anywhere, but that doesn’t detract from the novelty of having my own stereo system in my room. Guns ‘n’ Roses has never sounded so good, my feet tapping away as November Rain seeps into my soul.

There’s a moment when I’m halfway through singing along with the chorus when I realize I’m no longer alone in my room.

Embarrassment doesn’t even cover it. My mom is smirking at me from the doorway of my bedroom, arms folded across her chest as she enjoys her front row seat to my voice-cracking rendition of the song.

I sit up abruptly, dragging the ear phones off my head so I can hear her.

‘Hey mom.’ I’m feeling a little sheepish right now.

‘Hey baby, how’s the stereo?’

‘Pretty great … Actually, it’s awesome.’ She smiles at me, her eyes crinkling at the joy I have found in my present.

‘Your dad and I are so pleased you like it.’

‘I really do, it’s the best present I’ve ever had.’ She’s lingering in the doorway, which makes me wonder what she came to see me about – it wasn’t just to check on me, I’m sure. It’s Saturday and normally I would be out playing soccer, but today’s game was cancelled due to the weather. It’s been raining for days on end.

‘Did you need me, mom?’

‘Oh sorry honey, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, but I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind checking up on Bailey.’

‘Bailey? Wasn’t her friend Sarah coming over to play today?’

‘She was, but she was invited to a birthday party and cancelled last night. I thought maybe you could go and cheer her up. I think she’s feeling a little miserable at being left out of the birthday invites.’

‘Sure thing mom.’ Turning off the stereo, I hop off the bed to go and find Bailey. As I pass my mom, she ruffles my mop of dark hair.

‘You’re such a good boy,’ she praises me, kissing my forehead. I hug her waist, thankful for the millionth time that she took me in when I was little. With a final squeeze, I head down the hallway to Bailey’s room.

Knocking lightly, I wait for Bailey to invite me in.

‘Come in.’ She sounds so miserable, my heart instantly aches for her. Inside, she’s sitting on the floor on the carpet, absently brushing a dolls hair. I can’t see her face, her own auburn hair spilling to cover it.

‘Hey Bailey boo, whatchya doin’?’ She sniffles, her blue glassy eyes finding my own. It’s obvious she’s been crying and I feel bad that she’s upset.

‘Just playing with my dolls,’ she says as she goes back to brushing the dolls hair.

‘Sarah didn’t turn up, huh?’ Her eyes flicker to me quickly.

‘Mom told you?’

‘Yeah … I’m sorry you didn’t get invited to the party with Sarah,’

I offer.

‘That’s okay,’ she says, although I’m sure it isn’t.

‘How about I play with you instead?’ She eyes me incredulously.

‘Emmett, you don’t really want to play girls games with me. I’ll be fine on my own.’ She wipes a stray tear that has started to slide down her cheek. This innate need to protect her and make her as happy as she makes me seems to come to me like second nature.

There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for this girl. Well, almost nothing.

‘Of course I want to play with you. Anything you had planned with Sarah, I’m all for it.’ She brightens instantly, a wicked little grin coming to her thin red lips.

‘Anything?’

‘Anything.’

‘Okay, well we were going to paint our nails first,’ she says innocently. Little devil – doesn’t she just have me all stitched up. I swallow nervously, wondering if I could really say no and break her heart.

‘Sure, I’m game.’ Her eyebrows arch in surprise, but she hurries to get her nail polish before I change my mind. I’m in for a treat.

She’s going to a lot of trouble to set up her nail parlor double time.

‘Okay, I’m ready.’ Bailey motions for me to join her at the little table and chairs in the corner of her room. They are far too small for us, but we squeeze our asses into the seats and make ourselves as comfortable as possible. There’s a small hand towel in between us, some nail polish, a file and a bottle of hand cream. I give her my hand and she starts in on my beauty treatment. Not what most fourteen year old boys would be doing with their weekend, but for her, I’ll make an exception.

She says nothing as she files, polishes and paints my nails – all different colors. I hope to hell I can get the stuff off before school on Monday or I’m going to get bullied like a pimply teen on their first day of high school. Finally she’s finished with painting my nails and I admire her handiwork.

‘You did a great job,’ I smile.

‘Thanks.’ She blushes, pleased I have paid her a compliment.

‘So what’s next?’ I ask.

‘Well, I really wanted to play hairdressers.’

‘You’re not seriously going to make me lose the rest of my manhood by letting you do my hair, are you?’ Her face drops. Is she pouting at me? Instantly I cave in. I’m putty in her hands and she knows it.

‘Okay,’ I sigh, and sit back to receive the rest of my torture.

There’s a knock on the bedroom door, just as Bailey finishes my latest in beauty treatments. I now have a face full of make-up.

Lipstick, blusher – the works. My hair has a funky do and my fingernails are painted all the colors of the rainbow. Most boys would freak about such things, while I’m just happy I got to spend time with my best friend and make her happy. Mom walks in with a tray of milk and cookies.

‘Hey you guys, I just thought you’d –’ Mom abruptly stops mid-sentence when she catches sight of me.

‘Hey mom,’ we say in unison, innocence exuding from our pores.

‘Oh my,’ she mutters in horror as she takes in the plum lipstick on my lips.

‘Emmett, I …’ Nope, she’s still unable to finish a sentence.

‘Bailey and I have had a lot of fun. She did a great job with my nails, don’t you think?’ I ask as I wiggle my fingertips in her direction. Bailey smiles proudly; pleased she’s had such a compliant subject.

‘You look … lovely, dear.’ Her face says I’m anything but.

‘Thanks mom,’ I wink. Bailey goes back to sorting out her bottles of make-up while mom and I exchange glances. She mouths the words ‘I’m sorry!’ at me before dumping the tray of snacks, making a hasty retreat out of the room.

In the space of an hour, Bailey has gone from feeling sad and rejected, to happy and loved. I feel pleased that I’ve had something to do with that. I watch her as she gets her dolls ready for us to play with next. Something tells me she could have me doing this all day. I’d never tell her, though, that I wouldn’t mind, not even a little bit.