Ruby Rose (11 page)

Evan continued to hold her hand, softly caressing it with his thumb. “Of course.”

“Why is Maxine always around you? Why is she always in the pictures with you?”

Evan exhaled, glancing away and then back at her. “I don’t know, Ruby,” he said. “I’ve hung out with her in the past, but she’s always made more out of it then it really was. She’s just part of the circle of friends.”

Ruby felt something inside her ignite. “Was she your girlfriend?” She tried so hard not to sound jealous. But she was. Even though she asked the question, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

“No,” he answered softly. “She was never my girlfriend. I never saw her that way.”

“Did you ever sleep with her?” The minute the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She hadn’t intended to take the conversation this far, but the questions just kept coming.

She saw Evan’s eyes widen for a second then go back to normal. He pulled Ruby’s hand closer to him, gently. “Does it really matter, Ruby?”

Ruby’s stomach leaped to her throat. Her head spiraled. What had she expected? Why had she let herself fall for Evan in the first place? Maxine was just one woman. How many other women would she have to deal with from the past
and
the future?

“So, she was never your girlfriend, you just slept with her? Is that what you’re planning on doing with me?”

Evan’s eyes narrowed and his expression hardened. “Ruby, I just got done telling you I love you. Would I say those words if I was planning on just sleeping with you like some groupie?”

Ruby wouldn't listen. All she could think of was the fact that Evan had slept with Maxine, and it made her ill. “Did you spank her?” Her voice dripped with contempt.

“Ruby, you need to stop.”

The lump in her throat had begun to suffocate her. Ruby did everything she could not to cry. She tried pulling her hand away, but Evan tightened his grip.

“So, are you still sleeping with her?” She swallowed hard. “Is it just part of your circle? No big deal?”

“Ruby.” Evan’s voice was calm. “There is nothing going on with Maxine. There is nothing going on with anyone. You are the only one I’m with and the only one I want to be with.”

Evan moved his chair so he sat next to Ruby. He wrapped his arm around Ruby’s shoulder and tried giving her a kiss, but Ruby turned her head away abruptly. “What do you want me to say, Ruby?”

That made the fire inside her blaze even brighter. Ruby knew she acted ridiculously. Jealousy made a fool of her. But for some reason, she couldn’t fight back the emotion. She squirmed, trying to get away from Evan’s embrace, but her struggle was futile. She was no match for Evan’s strength and conviction.

Ruby stopped and looked him in square in the eye.

“I want the truth about you and Maxine.”

“There was nothing between us,” he insisted. “Even if there had been something, why would I lie?”

“Because maybe you still have feelings for her? Maybe deep down, you want an actual submissive who knows what the hell she’s doing.”

“What?” Evan’s laughter irritated her. “No, sweetheart, the only feelings I have are for you. Only you. She’s got absolutely nothing on you, submissive or not.”

Ruby stared at him, desperately wanting to believe the words spoken. But if she hurt this much now only a few weeks into this relationship, how would she deal with anything worse? Being around Evan did something to her senses, her emotions, and to her heart. It scared her.

Ruby shook her head, blinking back the tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me, Evan.” She took a deep breath. “But this is too much for me to take.”

Evan glared at her. “What the hell does that mean?”

“I mean this is who you are. This is what your world has always been like. Who am I to think I can fit in to your life… your lifestyle? Things like this are going to keep happening and I don’t think I can handle it. You’re famous and could have any woman you want. Women are begging to have even one night with you. I should’ve never agreed to—”

“Don’t even say it.” He took Ruby’s hand and put it to his chest. Ruby could feel Evan’s heart beat against her palm. “You’re scaring me. This sounds like you’re about to end things between us. I can’t believe you don’t see how much I’ve fallen in love with you.”

She shook her head. “It’s too difficult, Evan. I thought I could do this… I wanted to do this, but I can’t. Try to put yourself in my place. Would you be able to deal with other men constantly on me? I’m so confused. I don’t know what I was thinking coming into this. I let myself get caught up in all the infatuation and excitement.”

Evan’s grip tightened on her shoulder as he pulled Ruby to face him. Evan stared at her hard, glaring as he spoke through his teeth, “What exactly are you saying?”

Ruby looked down at her hands for a long moment, then finally looked back into Evan’s stare. Her eyes glistened, but she didn’t cry.

“My feelings for you are what have me so terrified,” she said. “If I didn’t love you so much I wouldn’t be backing out now before it’s too late.”

Evan stared at her in disbelief. “Backing out?”

“I’m sorry,” Ruby whispered, casting her eyes back down to the ground.

“Stop, Ruby. I won’t let you back out now, or ever. I can’t. There’s no turning back for me. You need to understand that I love you. I love you!”

Evan leaned over and kissed her forehead, then her cheeks and all around her mouth.

“Evan,” Ruby whispered.

He continued to kiss Ruby’s mouth, deepening the kiss further.

“Evan.” Ruby pulled away. “I love you, too. But that is what scares me to death. I don’t want my heart broken. You have the power to do so.”

Evan moved a piece of hair behind Ruby’s ear. “I won’t abuse that power. You have to have some faith in that.” Evan kissed her again, then held her face in his hands. “Trust that I will protect our love with everything I have.”

A smile slowly lifted the corners of Ruby’s lips. “You see how crazy you make me? Do you see how insane my jealousy just got? You really want a part of this insanity?” Ruby giggled lightly.

Evan smiled, rubbing his palm up and down Ruby’s back. “I understand it. I know what I do for a living and who I am can be a lot for anyone to take. I also understand that you being with me – submitting to me – is going to be an adjustment. I understand.”

Ruby wrapped her arms around Evan and leaned her head against his chest. “I’m scared. I’m confused. But I do know one thing. I’m in love.”

“I think tonight might be a good time to introduce you to my beliefs.”

Ruby almost choked on her shock. “What? You aren’t talking about…”

Evan nodded in response.

“A spanking? Are you talking about spanking me?”

Evan nodded again. “Yes. It’s time.”

Chapter 12

“I'll get us some wine,” Ruby said, her voice oddly high-pitched. They had just walked in the door of Evan’s apartment, and Ruby knew what was to come.

She pulled out two wine glasses and her fingers fumbled, nearly dropping them both. She tried to open the wine with shaky hands, when Evan walked up behind her and pulled her into his arms.

“You're nervous about what I said at dinner,” he said in a soft, soothing voice.

Ruby nodded her head in response. She found speaking near impossible due to how dry her mouth was.

“Are you scared?”

She could feel her heart beating louder as she barely nodded in confirmation. Evan pulled her against his body even tighter.

“Are you scared of me?” he asked.

“No. I'm scared of the unknown.” She could barely get the words out.

“Do you trust me? Trust that I would never take this further than you can handle?”

She nodded again.

“Taking this step is about to change everything. It makes us connect and bond at a whole new level. You submitting to me, giving yourself to me, and allowing me to take control of your submission is the greatest power a woman can have. You have the control to decide if you want to give the gift of surrender. The strength it takes is something not every woman has.” His husky voice mesmerized Ruby. He pulled away enough so he stared directly into her eyes, his expression smoldering, his lips so close to hers. Ruby's breath came in little more than pants now as she stared at him, immobilized by his stare and his words. What he said, what he meant... Ruby understood. She clearly understood that she had the control. She had the choice to give her consent, and her consent was the key to Domestic Discipline.

“Give me your authority, Ruby. Tell me you're ready to explore this dynamic. Allow me to lead. Allow me to be the man you've always wanted and desired,” he coaxed. “You can trust me, with your body and your heart.”

Evan took her hand and stepped away, pulling her gently to follow. “Come with me,” he said. “Don't let your fear get in the way.”

The strong female, feminist part of her that had planned to prevent taking the relationship to this level was overpowered by the longing to be made to submit. Ruby followed him obediently to the couch, her hand, wet with anxious nerves, engulfed in his palm. He sat on the couch and pulled her gently over his lap, pausing long enough for her to grasp the precarious position she was in. She drew in a cleansing breath and let it out again. Ruby struggled to fight back the urge to laugh. She thought she could do this. Give herself completely to his discipline. But lying over his lap, waiting for a spanking, made her want to giggle. Maturity. She needed to act mature. She took another calming breath and tried not to picture how silly she looked lying over his knee. Ruby had no idea what she had gotten herself into.
Control the laughter, try to look sexy while getting spanked
… this wasn’t going well. She needed to put aside her instinctive nervous reaction and focus on the upcoming punishment at hand – the reason she was there.

Evan gave her two hard, shocking swats over the fabric of her skirt and then slowly lifted the fabric up around her waist, thankfully leaving her panties in place. Humiliation reddened her face, but, confusingly, she could feel the dampness present between her legs.

The truth of the matter was, she wanted a spanking. She had desperately wanted to feel Evan's discipline from the moment she saw him walk through the door of the club. She wanted to truly experience Domestic Discipline and everything it had to offer. Not just because of her article, but because deep down, Ruby believed she needed it. She hungered for it. Domestic Discipline may very well be what she had been missing in the past. Ruby yearned for Evan to take her in hand.

Evan went slowly, allowing the searing heat of his palm to set in before delivering the next spank, connecting with her panty-clad bottom every time.

Ruby found herself paying attention to every detail of each swat. It was as if she took mental records in her head of the spanking. This surprised her, since she squirmed and flinched from the sting. By the time he reached twenty, Evan finally stopped to rub her burning backside. Ruby softly moaned and was embarrassed to hear a hint of longing for more in her voice.

“How are you handling your first spanking, Ruby?” Evan asked softly.

“Fine,” she squeaked. Ruby regretted her answer, although what would have been the right answer? Should she beg for him to stop, even though she wanted more?

He continued to caress her punished backside. “Fine?” he mused. “I guess I'm going easy on you. That wasn't exactly the answer I expected.”

Ruby had no idea what to say or do. Should she kick her legs and plead for mercy? Should she take the spanking stoically? Inexperience, and the fact that her face was inches from the floor, blurred any hint of clear thought.

She felt her panties being pulled down and her entire body hummed in response. She struggled against his hold as he continued spanking her bare bottom, over and over again.

A sob welled up, but she resisted the urge to release it. Evan’s spanks varied from light to hard, but the rhythm remained steady. The repetitive punishment gave her emotions free access to complete release. Ruby’s body released endorphins to combat the pain while her submission cleansed her of any stress in her body. Any doubt, any jealousy, any insecurities, were instantly erased by the delivered discipline.

She wasn't sure when exactly the spanking stopped, but she realized she softly moaned as he rubbed slow circles over her burning bottom.

Evan whispered reassuring words softly, comforting her more than she thought possible. So tender, so loving, so giving in his attentiveness and care. An immense storm of warmth for him mixed with respect that he had known how to carry out the discipline, how to give her what she needed, never pushing beyond her limits. He lifted her onto his lap with his arms around her, continuing to murmur his promise of love. Ruby pressed her face into the nook of Evan’s neck and, for the first time, truly understood.

****

Lying on his chest, Ruby could hear Evan’s heart beat. She had never felt so content and so relaxed. She still had a lot of questions about what he wanted and what he expected out of her. Not to mention that this was her chance to really get some solid material for her story.

Ruby took a deep breath. She desperately wanted this to work, and knew she should come completely clean with him. Tell him why she came to Seattle, tell him why she took the job in the club – she should tell him everything. But what if he thought her feelings were fake? He could jump to the conclusion that she was using him.
Was she using him?
Maybe at first… but not now. Things were different now.

Evan must have sensed all the doubt because he kissed her gently on the head and pulled her closer before speaking. “Stop worrying. Trust that I would fight with every breath I have to keep us this way.”

“I trust you more than anyone. I’m just still wondering about your lifestyle, or I guess, our lifestyle.”

“All right… then ask away. What can I answer for you, sweetheart?” Evan soothed as he continued to stroke the full length of her back.

“So why do you think Domestic Discipline is becoming more mainstream?” Ruby asked, wishing she hadn’t sounded so reporter like.