R/T/M (22 page)

     She doesn’t call, but I don’t wait up to see if she’s going to.   The next day I get this weird text message from her on my cell phone and it reads like a weather report with the relative humidity and whatnot, so I text her back, like, “Hey!   How are you doing?   How was your trip back?   Give me call when you get settled in.”.   But she never called me or texted me and didn’t send me a message over MySpace or anything.   Then I send her a MySpace message.   “Is this the part where we stop talking to each other?” and I can tell that she read it, because MySpace lets you do that but she doesn’t reply so I get mad and drop her off of my “friends” list and changed the status on my MySpace profile to “Divorced” by way of a private joke.   But I sorta kinda miss her so I try to find her MySpace profile and I can’t find it, so I figure the bitch blocked me, so the next time I’m over a friend’s house I log into his account and look for her and I can’t find her, so I figure maybe she deleted that profile and set up a new one to avoid me, so I try to search for her using her first and last name, and it turns out that there are five pages of girls that have her name, but none of them have her hometown and state, so I go back and get her e-mail address out of my e-mail account and I search using that and all I find is the profile for the MySpace presence for the porno company that she moderated the message boards for and it looks fucking deserted and half-disassembled, so I just give up.

     Maybe someone kidnapped her when she got off the plane back home.

     Maybe she hooked back up with her crazy alcoholic boyfriend and he fucking killed her.

     I’ll probably never know.

     I still look for her every now and again, but it’s just an exercise in futility.

     The next one was too easy.

     I just made this sort of form letter about hanging out and having a couple drinks and watching a few movies and sent it to pretty much every chick on my friends list and, like, half a dozen bought it,

     Chicks are so fucking stupid.

     The message was just casual and suggestive enough that you almost couldn’t help but answer it.

     I mean, who doesn’t like hanging out and having a couple drinks and watching movies?

     I scheduled in one chick.

     She had those stupid fucking nautical stars tattooed on her shoulders.

     She had a fair amount of pictures on her MySpace profile so I thought I had a good idea of what she looked like.

     I drove down to get her.

     She lived in a cul de sac in a suburban neighborhood.

     When I call her cell phone to tell her I’ve arrived I can see into the first floor of the house.   She stays on the phone and I watch her go from her bedroom into the hallway and hear and watch her yell at her little brother and tell her mom that she’s going out, but not where or with whom.

     She comes out the front door and hangs up the phone as she comes up to the passenger side door.

     It’s dark, but I can tell that she’s chubby.

     She was apparently a master of the “creative angle for flattering MySpace profile pictures” school of photography.   I could have told her to get the fuck out of my car, and just gone home and jerked off to porn, but I figured, fuck it, I’m already here, and I don’t have any other big plans, so why not.

     I drive off and we make small talk on the way back to the house.   You know.   Music.   Movies.

     All of the bands she’s into are new and I haven’t heard of any of them but they all have artsy screamo names about sunsets and suicides
and shit.

     We get to the house and I show her in.

     I think she’s like nineteen.

     I mix us up a couple of big glasses of Amaretto Sours and we go downstairs with them.

     She takes off her hoodie and I observe that I was right.   She’s chubby and her snub nose and jowls make her look kind of piggish.   I put in Dario Argento’s ‘Opera’ and we settle in and watch it and sip our drinks and I’m nowhere near drunk, but I can feel the booze a little, so near the end of the movie, I figure, “Why not?” and I’m lying down and she’s sitting up and I reach over and trace my fingers along the exposed flesh spilling out from the bottom of her shirt and spilling over the waist of her jeans.

     She giggles and says, “That tickles!” but I keep doing it and she goes into, like, a light trance as I trace my fingers along her expanse of creamy white flesh.

     I sit up and slide my hands along her sides and trace the backs of my fingers up the sides of her neck and she arches her neck.   She’s so fucking digging this.   I trace my fingers down along her collarbones towards the cleavage exposed by the scoop neck of her t-shirt and she turns her head towards me to be kissed.   I kiss her and she’s a bad kisser, but her mouth tastes liqueur sweet and she darts her tongue in and out between my lips.   I reach in and move my dick into a more comfortable up and down configuration because it was creeping down towards my pants leg.

     I reach my hands around and pull the collar of her shirt down in the front exposing her pudgy little boobs nestled into a dark
satiny purple bra.   I claw the cups back, exposing her nipples and I pinch and roll them and she arches her neck back and breathes through her open mouth.   I am both disgusted and aroused at the same time.

     I reach down to put my hand down the front of her pants but I can’t because her gut is restricting my access to the top button so inside I claw on the outside of her pants inside her thighs and she writhes and squirms and moans a little.

     I know there’s no way I’m going anywhere further from where I’m at so I say, “Excuse me miss, but I have to use the facilities.”.   She kind of comes out of the stupor and pulls her shirt back up and opens her eyes and I get up and walk over to the bathroom.   Even though my dick is firm and hard, I really do have to pee, so I lean with my hands on the wall over the toilet and the force of my stream churns the water.

     I fold my dick back into my pants and I know it’s making a gnarly bulge and I walk back into the room and she’s sitting in the same place.   I take off my belt and drop it on the floor to see if it would inspire her to get up, get on her knees, take my dick out and put it in her mouth and suck it, but she just kind of looks up at me like she’s retarded so I crawl into bed behind her.

     She sits there for a minute then she gets up and says, “I’m going to change into my pajamas.”.

     I’m thinking, “You brought fucking pajamas?” and she gets up off the bed and digs into her bag.

     She pulls out a white wife beater and unfurls a pair of light blue cotton pajama pants with penguins scatter printed on them.

     I’m watching her do all this and she smiles self-consciously and says, “I like penguins.” And takes her shirt off.   It’s not a pretty sight.   She has a big pale white belly and the straps of her bra are cutting into the flesh of her sides.   She puts on the wife beater and then does that thing where girls take their
bra off with a shirt on and whips the bra out one of the sleeves.   Her breasts barely settle at all.   Well at least they’re not saggy to boot.

     She sucks in her tummy and undoes the button and zipper at the front of her pants and shimmies out of them.   She’s wearing a satiny purple thong that  matches her bra and the straps of the thong make curvy indentations on the flesh of her hips.   She wriggles into the pajama pants and at least the elastic waistband doesn’t cut into her flesh as badly as her jeans did.

     She leaves her stuff in a pile and climbs onto the bed and picks up her drink and sips on it.

     I decide not to try to get up on her until the movie ends.

     By then we’ll have finished our drinks and they won’t get in the way.

     The movie ends and I turn the DVD player and TV off and it gets dim in the basement.

     I put my glass on the nightstand and take hers out of her hands and put it on the nightstand table.

     She knows what’s up.

     We’re sitting side by side and I lean in and kiss her and her mouth is sticky and sweet.

     Our tongues play in each other’s mouths and it all feels kind of sweet and innocent and boring.

     I reach down and grab the bottom seam of her shirt and try to pull it up over her head, but she puts her arms against her sides and says, “Wait.” and I reply “Wait for what?   I’ve already seen you in your underwear.” and she looks a little unsure but she puts her arms up and I peel the wifebeater off of her.

     I take off my shirt and we go back to making out and I try to get my hand between her legs so we can just move on to the inevitable and get it over with but her legs are clamped together and she keeps trying to brush my hands away.

     I get sick of that bullshit so I cross my left arm over to the other side of her and kiss her and she leans back a little and I move my left leg over her and I’m on top of her and she falls back and she puts her arms around my neck and squeezes me close and I try humping her but I can’t really get in there, so I put my left knee over between her legs and kind of pry it in there and get the top of my knee against her groin and pump up against her rhythmically and I can tell it’s making her hot so I put my weight on my left knee and get my right knee in there and push her legs apart with mine.

     Finally between her legs I lay on her and get my bulge against hers and I hump her while we’re making out and she’s breathing heavy and gaspy.

     A minute of that and I rear up and undo my belt and my top button and my fly and she’s laying there with her eyes half closed.   I push my pants down over my hips and I put my package against her and she grabs my ass and presses me against her.   Her jammies are kind of damp where her cooze has been dripping into them and my underwear has a damp spot where the head of my dick is oozing pre-cum.   So I put my thumbs into the waistband of my underpants and I push them and my pants down to my knees then kind of kick and wriggle them off so I’m naked and she’s still in her jammie pants and bra.   So I grab the waistband of her jammie pants and she opens her eyes a little and she gives me this vulnerable look, but she lets me pull her jammie pants off because I didn’t grab the strings of her thong along with them and she kind of wriggles her butt and I pull the pants inside out and her feet pop out and I toss her jammie pants onto the floor.

     I go back to humping her and thankfully her thong isn’t all lacy because it would chafe my dick.   I grab my dick with my right hand and rub it on the outside of her snatch patch then I extend the first two fingers and push her thong aside and press the tip of my dick against the outside of her sopping wet pussy.   I rub the tip half in up and down inside her outer lips but I don’t want to try to put it in yet because I know she’ll put on the brakes.   I want her to get a taste of how good it feels.

     I find the entrance to her vaginal canal and I line up the head with it and push a little and she gasps and moans and I put most of the head in and when I perch up to push the rest in she puts her hands against my shoulders.   I set back on my knees and maybe she thinks I’m taking her cue and going slow, but instead I grab the straps of her thong and pull them down to her thighs and it’s easy to get them the rest of the way down her legs and over her feet.   I ball them up and toss them aside and get back down on her.

     I press the head of my dick against her drippy lips and the head finds the opening and I push it in and she sucks in air through her teeth and winces.   We’re going to have sex.   I get a it half the way in pretty easily and she says whispers, “Do you have any condoms?” and I just stop and give her a look and say, “It’s not like I’m going to cum inside you.” and I give her another half stroke.

     We do it like that for a few minutes, but I’m not getting all the way in so I pull her knees up and put my forearms under them and curl her up so I have a better shot.

     I put it in deeper and she sucks in air and whines, “Ow. Ow. Ow.”.   I ignore her and keep pushing and when I’m almost all the way in she whines and says, “Too deep!”.   I just laugh and shove the rest in and she yelps and I perch up and just start fucking her pushing my dick all the way in and pulling it out till just the head is in.   I’m not jackhammering her, just fucking her steady and deep.   She’s all wincy and biting her lip and sucking in air through her teeth and whining and I don’t care.

     I pull all the way out of her and she relaxes a little.   Maybe she thinks it’s over but I smirk and ram it back in her and she actually fucking sobs.

     I perch up and start really driving it into her and start to pick up the pace.   She doesn’t like it and she starts whining so I slap her across the face, hard, with the open palm of my right hand.   Her cheek flushes red and she starts crying and trying to push me off her but it’s not happening.   She’s got no leverage.   I just fucking piledrive her like a porn star, harder and quicker and as deep as I can get and I can tell I’m going to cum so I lean my weight against the backs of her legs and ram myself as deep as I can go inside her and I can feel the tip of my dick jamming up against her cervix and I just let go and cum inside her and I can tell that she’s pissed when she realizes that I’m dumping my whole load deep inside her, but I try to ignore it because I don’t want it to make my orgasm less intense.