Rotten (27 page)

“So where is her husband?”

David wasn’t sure how to answer the question as we hadn’t talked about it. Since they were now broaching the topic, I would have to answer for the past few weeks.

“Hopefully the side of the road, but that’s unlikely. He’s a piece of shit. I noticed she returned not wearing her rings, so I imagine they split up this week. He came out here all high and mighty, accusing her of cheating, then took off.”

My daddy coughed through labored breaths. “Well, did she?”

“No, she didn’t,” David replied.

“What is she doing then? I know I don’t have long. But when I go, what are her plans? Now that she knows everything, I have the inkling she’s going to take off again. She didn’t take the information about her mama too well. I know that’s a lot to put on a kid who feels like she was abandoned.”

I heard David shift in his seat; he was obviously comfortable talking about situations that were anything but. My daddy was candid and relaxed, something not often seen. My heart was thankful that he had David. I noticed he called him son in the hospital. Rather than feeling jealous, it brought me comfort.

“I think we all need to do the same thing and take one day at a time. She’s back and not with that asshole. I will take every moment I can get with her.”

My daddy chuckled lightly and patted his shoulder. “You have to share her now. Accept it, son. You’re on the sidelines now.”

I looked up to see David’s face just as he turned around to look at me. I winked and closed my eyes, curling back into the seat. After rolling up to the driveway, I crawled out and helped my daddy. David carried some beer from the club into the house and prepared to leave.

“Where are you going?” I asked curiously. Was he really thinking about leaving?

David turned to my father before looking back at me. “I don’t know if I should stay here.”

I could tell he didn’t want to leave, but he was being respectful. We were beyond formalities, and I refused to let him sleep at home alone. Shaking my head, I grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen to start cooking dinner.

“You’re staying with us, end of discussion.”

David turned to my daddy who only shrugged and sipped on his beer. You would think he was already in heaven with the satisfaction he got from the twelve ounce can. Through exchanged glances, words were no longer necessary between us. It took me longer to find this place with him. But I was here.

A week had passed, and every night was spent at the club. If watching your father die rapidly before you was not depressing enough, witnessing a stripper stop in the middle of a dance because she couldn’t stop crying was even sadder. My poor daddy couldn’t get a decent ass shake for anything. The girls kept bawling and crawling into his lap. He didn’t mind his face being buried in their fake breasts and worked his condition from every angle. Jodie was the only one who was able to give a proper dance, my daddy’s eyes never once leaving hers to admire her body; she was that captivating. The house was booming with the news that Knox was back. People came from every walk to pay respects to my daddy. He beamed with pride and strength, despite the condemnation to a hasty future.

We planned a barbeque, and knowing the party was going to take place at his home made him happy. It was a celebration of life without the official announcement. My daddy was far from sentimental, or so I thought until he handed me the packet about my mother that I had still refused to open. He insisted on inviting everyone he knew, which was a whole lot of people. David and I laughed while taking multiple trips through the warehouse stores, stocking up on cups and soda. I had never seen a pack of hot dogs that weighed over five pounds. Picking it up, I snickered, thinking of the comment from the hospital.

“Think fast!”

Throwing the package at David, he grabbed it with a thud against his chest and looked at me, unsure of why I did that.

“Like a hot dog down a hallway.” I snorted at the saying. I could never look at a hot dog, much less eat one again, without falling back on the reference. He ruined me for life with that one.

He tossed the package into the cart, and I suddenly felt disturbed, knowing that we would be serving them to other people. After arriving back at the house, the hospice nurse agreed to stay at the party just in case Daddy needed more pain medication. He was doped out most of the time. It didn’t help that his friends brought their own medicinal baked goods, yet they gave him an appetite and kept down the nausea, so I kept silent. I had to remember to hide the brownies and cookies from the kitchen so some poor child didn’t end up in the emergency room.

It was strange having David be affectionate with me in front of people. No one thought anything of it; most of them smiled brightly at my flushed face each time he kissed me passionately, including my daddy. Whatever conversations about me that had conspired would remain secret, but I could tell enough that it made him happy. His face held the same expression as it did when we were children, sitting down to dinner and talking excitedly about our adventures in the desert. It was one of contentment. David had repaired the corrugated, metal roof that made up the overhang that covered the freshly paved patio, giving some relief from the hot, desert sun.

The house really was beautiful now. As people looked around at the work they had done, proudly showing my daddy their contributions, they too beamed brightly. It was the perfect analogy of life. Without love and care, we wither away, breaking down until these bodies become uninhabitable. Yet with love, companionship and diligence, we thrive. Love had returned to the Knox home in full force, overpowering the shadow of death that lingered at the door.

Sitting on a bench in the backyard, we watched as the children played in the sprinklers, squealing in delight. I observed a young girl running from a slightly older boy who was chasing her with a high-powered squirt gun.

In spite of the other boys with matching weapons running about, he chose to target her to the point she cried and hid near the cars. The boy looked around to see if he was caught before following after her. From my seat, I could see him place the toy on the ground and crawl up next to her. Placing his arms gently around her, he pulled her close and whispered to her words of comfort. Her small arm curled out from under him and around his waist, pulling him just as tight. Only moments passed before he picked up the gun and handed it to her. With outstretched arms, he closed his eyes and held his breath as he allowed her to soak him in retribution. I couldn’t stop from smiling as it was all taking place.

I looked over to my father, but he was caught up in his own reflections. David sat next to me and offered a coconut popsicle that was rapidly melting down the wooden stick and onto his fingers. Taking the delectable treat out of his hands, I licked the drips from the bottom suggestively.

“You can do that on me tonight; keep practicing and loosen that jaw up.” He nodded with surety, already imagining my lips on something else. Taking a bite out of his popsicle, I shook my head and widened my eyes.

“If we are comparing oral abilities, you just lost access to my vagina.”

I tried to keep a serious face, yet it was impossible when David turned up the charm. He knew I was vulnerable to his charisma, no matter how hard I tried to resist. It was a divinely crafted narcotic designed to keep me both intoxicated and drive me crazy. I leaned in to give him a kiss; his mouth tasted sharply of the lime-flavored ice against my creamy coconut. Opposing flavors managed to blend seamlessly, creating paradise on our tongues.

The festivities continued until the wee hours of morning. Daddy forfeited his medications to keep from sleeping and possibly missing something important, and everyone left with damp faces and tissues in hand. Taking several photos, they thanked me and David for doing this. We thanked them for coming and helping to make the day possible, then decided to leave everything to clean up the next day and get daddy settled in bed. Something nagged at both me and David the entire day, telling us that this was it.

Pulling another chair into the room, we each took a side and listened to him tell us about his favorite parts of the day. My heart was breaking with every moment that passed. I wanted to stop time, this perfect moment where everything was well in the world. I began to cry, yet my daddy squeezed my hand.

“Princess, I am not afraid to go anymore, it’s okay. I love you so much. I got to see the life I always wanted for you. I know it wasn’t easy growing up, and even as an adult, things were rough. But that’s life, and you took the beatings well. I am so proud of you both, and I’m sorry for all the time we didn’t get, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything. God has been good to me. I have no complaints.”

Turning to look at David, he held his hand with a firm grasp and grinned broadly. “I love you, son, I hope you know that. Don’t ever think for a moment you let me down, you hear? Just take care of Toni, that’s all I will ever ask of you.”

“Yes, sir, of course, you have my word.”

My daddy closed his eyes and smiled.

David looked up at me, devastated as he too felt the life force begin to leave my daddy’s body. Through clenched teeth, I couldn’t stop the pain in my chest or the scream that tore out from my throat.

“Daddy!”

Thankfully, the agonizing scream never reached him; he was on his way to meet his Maker.

If it were not for David, I would still be living in the dark, broken and without hope. Rolling over in bed, my fingertips grazed his cheeks and down along his sharp jaw. Even sleeping, he looked so tough and intimidating, but I knew better. As soon as his chocolate eyes opened and focused on my face, his features softened into a more peaceful expression.

“You should try and rest, babe. I know it’s hard. Take a sleeping pill, you need it.” I knew he was right, but for some unknown reason, I kept thinking I would eventually fall asleep, yet my brain would not cross into slumber. I did not ask permission, but I knew he wouldn’t resist. Sliding off my camisole and panties, I tugged David’s boxers down and straddled his waist. In the moonlit bedroom, his hands softly caressed my hips and back as I silently begged for oblivion. Rolling me beneath him, he gently parted my knees and sank into my hips. Although it was temporary, he was able to carry me to a place of forgetfulness and remind me that the pain wouldn’t last forever.

His soft, full lips seared every inch of skin they touched, leaving traces of passion in their wake. I would always feel protected and safe in his arms. He would take on the devil himself before he allowed me to get hurt. For the second time since we were intimate again, I was able to fully surrender. The tight pull in my center released and flowed out towards my fingers and toes. My nerves pulsed with every heartbeat as the dopamine explosion ricocheted through my brain. For thirty seconds, I was stunned with an overwhelming dose of pure bliss.

Opening my eyes again, David was looking down at me smiling, knowing that he could bring me to climax.

“You are so beautiful when you come, you know that?”

His lips descended upon mine once more before he picked up speed and reached his own zenith. Collapsing over me, I relished the weight of his body on mine, knowing I continued to give him so much pleasure. Spent, I was finally able to sleep in his embrace.

Upon waking the next day, we had the task of picking up my daddy’s ashes from the funeral home and holding the service he desired. He asked for half of his ashes to be placed in an urn at the bar with a view of the stage. The other half was to be taken on the road and scattered to the wind. Over two hundred bikes were gathered in the lot of the Spur, waiting to ride. Removing one of the urns from the saddlebags, I walked slowly through the parting crowds and into the bar alone. Looking around, I found an inconspicuous ledge where he could look on from a safe place.

The sea of colors reminded me that my daddy was more loved than I would ever know. Arms reached out to touch my shoulder as I walked back towards David. Removing the other small tin before hopping on the bike, I looked around and smiled brightly, raising my arm and flagging northeast. Alex and Jodie were on a bike, leading the pack, and David and I would follow up in the rear. The lot was deafening as the machines roared to life.