Rocky Mountain Freedom (20 page)

“Shut up.”

Cassidy shrugged. “You’re living life damn loud. Good thing we’ve got the place to ourselves for a while—that’s all.”

Travis hadn’t thought about the guests, he’d been too concerned about Ashley. “Didn’t mean to disturb you.”

Cassidy put the brush down. He patted the horse on the rump and sent her back into the main yard before cutting through the gate and back to Travis’s side. “It’s fine. I couldn’t hear all the details, but you’ll figure it out. A little shouting is simply another way of dealing with frustrations.”

Travis growled. “This time was your damn fault.”

“Mine?” Cassidy looked confused. “What did I do?”

Travis crossed his arms. It was on the edge of his tongue, what needed to be said, but hell if he knew how this was going to come out.

Still, he had to try. “Ashley insists there’s no shame in taking hold of whatever it is that meets our needs. Like me wanting some hard, physical pain to scratch my itch. I mean, she wants me to be safe—that was always her biggest concern—but the actual need I have to get smacked around? She has no issue with. Insists that it’s not dirty or perverse or wrong in some fucked-up way.”

“She’s right—to a point.”

“To a point? You’re going to make exceptions and say ‘only if it’s just you involved’ or ‘only if everyone is interested’ or…”

Cassidy stared off into space as if watching ghosts flit about them. He turned back, his eyes guarded, all joking set aside. “It’s not the itch-scratching that’s wrong, T. It’s the fallout I hate. The fucked-up attitudes and cruel situations
taking
can cause.” He shook his head. “It’s not worth it in the long run to enjoy a minute’s pleasure and have to face a lifetime of hurt. That old phrase about picking your battles was right, only you’ve got to pick your pleasures as carefully.”

Travis hadn’t moved from his perch against the fence. The lost look in Ashley’s eyes haunted him. It was the only reason he had the strength to carry on. “You’re a damn hypocrite.”

Cassidy jolted upright. “What?”

Things were mostly a muddy mess in his brain, but at moments they shone bright. Clear shots of understanding that made the world into something he could forge forward into. “Did you enjoy being with Ashley? When the three of us fooled around?”

“Hell, yeah. You know that.”

Travis pushed. “Then why are you making her feel as if you’re not interested in her? Coming on to her then shutting it off like she’s dangerous, or worse, done something wrong?”

Cassidy paused. “You’re shitting me. You want me to make a play for your girlfriend?”

“We already had this conversation. Does it matter that she was in the middle, or if she were alone with you? You’d still be touching her. Licking her until she writhed.” Travis caught Cassidy by the arm. “And while we’re talking about stuff that makes no sense, you fooled around with me as well. Does that make you my boyfriend? Because that would mean in whatever neat little boxes you’re trying to tuck relationships, I’m cheating on you every time you’re not there and I sink my cock into her sweet pussy.”

Cassidy’s nostrils flared, and Travis congratulated himself on a direct hit.

“We don’t have a relationship,” Cassidy bit out behind clenched teeth. “We’re not together. We’re friends, and what happened with us…it was a mistake.”

“That’s another load of bull,” Travis noted. “Look, I get that none of this is straightforward. Being attracted to her and me and… God, I
get it
. The running-hot-and-cold shit though? It’s making us all crazy. When you pretend you don’t want Ashley unless I’m in the picture, you’re hurting her. I can take you fucking around with my brain, but pushing her around is going too far.”

Travis ran his hand up Cassidy’s arm, the contrast between his strong, masculine build and Ashley’s softer muscles and curves so clear in that moment. He glared at Cassidy, frustration and anger washing away lust. “Stop hurting her and give yourselves what you damn well want. I don’t want to have to wipe away her tears when you dump all over her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you need to say that to. And in terms of us and that
mistake
?” Travis slipped his hand to the back of Cassidy’s neck, trapped him in place then kissed him. Harsh. Nearly brutal. Lips crushed together as they grappled and fought to get closer.

Fire turned on a moment from anger to lust…to disgust.

Travis tore them apart. “That conversation is not done either, but I can’t stand the sight of you right now.”

His lips burned, his blood rushed, but the damn near unquenchable ache wasn’t there. Not this time. Like Ashley, all he wanted was some space.

He turned on his heel and stomped off.

“Where you going?” Cassidy demanded.

“Riding. I need time with a beast who’s got a higher IQ than you.”

He detoured into the cookhouse to grab some food and shoved a couple sandwiches into a bag. Grabbed some water. Packed it all into a pannier and saddled up a horse. The entire time he was getting the ride ready he felt Cassidy’s gaze on him.

Well, fuck that. He’d had enough togetherness for a while. One night sleeping under the stars might put everything back to normal in his world.

He stepped into the stirrup and mounted, settling his hat more firmly in place.

Cassidy stood a few paces away, hand extended with a square black case in his grasp.

“What?” Travis demanded.

“Take it.” Cassidy shook the box. “Sat phone and GPS. If you need anything, give a shout. Camp policy.”

Travis accepted the load and shoved it into an empty flap by his right thigh. He stared at Cassidy for a long moment then turned and headed up the trail, into the solitude of the wilderness.

Eerie silence lay over the camp as the afternoon passed. Cassidy finished the chores, pausing every now and then to see if Ashley had moved from the roof of the cookhouse where she’d crawled to after finally leaving her cabin.

He was a shit. Travis was right, but Travis didn’t know all of it, and Cassidy ached at holding back.

Would it be so wrong? To give in for the summer and let what he wanted be real?

He stopped in surprise when a loud clattering rang out, his gaze jerking toward the mess hall where Ashley stood, metal bar in hand as she struck the dinner bell vigorously.

Cassidy stopped in the wash hall and scrubbed the dirt from his torso, slipping on a clean shirt before heading into the cookhouse.

Maybe she was going to poison him or something. If so, he deserved it.

Overhead, storm clouds were rolling in rapidly, rain spurting down in occasional clumps. He hoped Travis would get back soon.

Pinned to the cookhouse door was a hand-drawn picture. Bright colours, like she’d used a crayon. It was clearly a picture of him, although in this portrait he had three heads and teeny tiny arms. He chuckled in spite of being the target.

He deserved that as well.

Through the door he discovered an empty mess hall, but a wonderful aroma hung in the air, and he followed it to the kitchen. There was another drawing pinned to the door at eye level. This one a pencil line drawing. A brief but beautifully rendered sketch that made him look as if he were in motion, stroking one of the horses.

Maybe he wouldn’t get poisoned after all.

“Ashley?”

“Over here.” She turned from the table the cooks used for food prep. She’d put out three bowls and some bread, a steaming pot between them. “I hope soup is okay.”

“Soup is wonderful.” He took off his hat and laid it aside, momentarily awkward with his hands.

She sat and grabbed the ladle, and he hurried to join her.

“I couldn’t imagine sitting in that big hall with just the three of us. Too many chairs out there. I needed something smaller or I’d have felt like an ant.”

Cassidy eyed the thick red soup she was spooning into his bowl, his mouth watering. “It’s nice in here. And I didn’t expect you to feed me, but thank you.”

The wind rattled the windows, and they both glanced up. Outside the trees waved in the rising wind. “You think Travis heard the bell?”

“I don’t know.” The sat phone was burning a hole in his pocket, but giving Travis space still seemed the wisest thing. Only the misery on Ashley’s face couldn’t be ignored either. “Hey, he’s fine.”

She nodded slowly, dipping her bread into her bowl before staring at it unhappily. “Just worried.”

“If he’s not back after supper, we’ll call him. Would that help?”

Her smile spread like the warmth of the sun. “It would. I know he can take care of himself, but…” Her gaze drifted to the windowpane where a spattering of raindrops scattered over the glass. “Yeah. I’d like to know he’s okay.”

Cassidy ate a couple spoons of the soup, his mouth smarting at the heat. “Wow—that’s good.”

“Spicy, right?” She shrugged. “I saw the clouds coming and thought if Travis was caught in the cold, he’d appreciate something to warm him up.”

“It’s spicy, but I like it. Definitely heats all the way through.”

They fell silent for a bit, the food and the warmth of the kitchen in increasing contrast with the wind outside.

He had to say something. The setting couldn’t be better to take this bad situation and turn it around, but their bowls were nearly empty before he found his courage.

“Travis isn’t mad at you.” Cassidy laid his spoon on the table. “He’s pissed at me, and he’s right. And I need to tell you something.”

She stared at him, those sky-blue eyes tearing into his soul.

“I’m sorry.”

A touch of mischief slipped across her face. “Go on.”

He smiled. “You want me to muck this up and say I’m sorry you were upset by my actions? I know better than that. Travis told me about his sister-in-law Jaxi reading him the riot act once about non-apology, apologies. I’m sorry I acted like an ass and upset you. I’ve been trying—”

He took a deep breath. If this summer was going to change, if anything was going to move forward, she had to be fully onboard. Maybe it was old-fashioned, but he had to hear it from her. One more time.

“Travis and I had a couple conversations about this, but I should have been talking to you, not him. I’m uncomfortable. You’re an attractive woman, and I want…things. I want things that if you and Travis were in a typical relationship I’d get my head knocked off for wanting. But Travis said you guys don’t have a typical relationship.”

She nodded, licking her spoon slowly. His body tightened, further proof he was going down dangerous paths.

“I like Travis a lot, Cassidy, but we’re not exclusive.”

Cassidy breathed out slowly. “Because you grew up in a lot more sexually accepting environment.”

Her eyes widened. “Hell, no, it’s not that.”

Now he was confused all over. “But…”

She smiled sadly. “If I thought Travis would be happy with only me, I’d tie him down in a cold second. But I’m not enough.”

Cassidy couldn’t swallow around the lump in his throat. “You think he needs a different woman than you?”

All amusement vanished from her face. She didn’t say anything, just stared and stared until the silence was far more condemning than if she’d smacked him across the ears. Smacked him for being a stupid shit, and a coward.

The worst thing was he couldn’t look away.

Like a lash of condemnation from Mother Nature herself, the skies opened. Rain beat on the tin roof covering the kitchen area, loud enough to deafen them both. A flash of lightning filled the window accompanied by a rattle of thunder that shook the building.

“That was close.” Ashley leapt up and pressed her hands against the glass to stare into the pouring rain.

He joined her at the window, watching water pool in the ridges left behind from their building efforts. “It’s going to make a hell of a mess out there.”

Another flash turned her face ghostly white for a second. This time he saw her cringe when the thunder rattled the roof.

“Travis…” She tugged on his arm. “Can you call him? Make sure he’s okay?”

“Of course.” He led her back to the table. “It’ll take me a second, though. Finish your soup while it’s hot.”

She gave him a dirty look. “I’m not a child. I’m worried, but I don’t need to be coddled.”

“That’s a reason to let your soup go cold?”

Ashley pulled a face. “Stop being logical and make the call.”

He couldn’t make it right there, not with the rain pounding so hard overhead that the nails in the roof must be shaking loose. Tin metal with a rain this fierce—they shouldn’t have any leaks but the noise had grown loud enough to be deafening.

He caught Ashley by the hand and tugged her with him into the mess hall with its sturdier wooden roof.

Closing the doors behind them cut out some of the noise.

“The rain is crazy,” Ashley said, moving once again to the window to watch it fall. She tipped her chin back to stare into the treetops where they were lashing the sky. “And the wind…” She turned toward Cassidy, and those eyes were haunted again. “You calling this century or the next?”