Rocky Mountain Freedom (18 page)

“What’s up?” Travis leaned on the wall.

“We need to talk.” Cassidy matched him in body language, going for nonchalant and nonthreatening. “About…a couple things.”

“My issue?”

Cassidy nodded slowly. “T, I knew you liked it rough, but you gotta tell me more. Should I expect Ashley to be running in to grab me every week, or once a month, or what? Because it’s not something I can handle happening out of the blue again.”

“I’m sorry I freaked you out.” Travis took a deep breath. “And I didn’t really say thank you for what you did last time.”

Cassidy wrinkled his face. “We got distracted taking care of Ashley.”

Another of those zings to Travis’s stomach hit at having frightened her. At not knowing how to make her shadows disappear. “I’m a fucking fool.”

“You are, but you’re also my friend, and…” Cassidy lifted green eyes to meet his, and Travis swallowed hard, terrified to hope, “…and I’m sorry I took off on you last summer. It wasn’t right. It only left you hanging. I should have talked to you more, explained.”

“Damn right.” Travis shook his head. “In terms of me needing to get beat on, it’s not like it’s going to bust out and make me turn into some kind of madman in the middle of the mess tent. But if you were willing to help me, I can give you a heads-up and we can go somewhere private where none of the guests or crew can find us, and…”

Damn. He’d never had to figure this out before. And maybe that’s what he needed to say.

“Cassidy, it’s not easy to explain what I need. Pain feels good. It soothes something inside, but it’s not like I want candle-wax dripped on me, or razor blades cutting my skin. Fighting has always worked.”

Cassidy let out a sigh as he nodded. “Still…that can be dangerous.”

“Fighting?” Travis thought it over. “Yeah. It could be, and Ashley was right when she told me I should quit. But the alternative is…”
Fuck.
“Why is saying this outright so damn hard?”

“Because it’s fucking impossible to hear it as well. Tell me, dammit.”

Travis’s pulse picked up. “You know how hard it is to say to you that I want you to take your belt and whip me? Or maybe grab a crop and smack my legs and ass? Because while I want the pain, I want to be in control, and the few times I asked someone to help me—”

His hands were shaking, and he couldn’t look Cassidy in the eye.

Boots moved closer, stopping inches away. Cassidy paused. “It turns you on, doesn’t it?”

“
Fuck
.”

Cassidy caught him by the chin and lifted his head, dropping his hand away immediately, but there was no reason for him to hold anymore. Travis was trapped by those damn hypnotic eyes.

“While you crave the pain, you get off on it as well. Like sexually get off. Is that right?” Cassidy pushed again.

“Yes.” The word snapped out.

Cassidy sucked in a deep breath. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

God, they were both nervous as hell. Hope stirred, but not too hard.

“When you kissed me last summer I told you no. And I meant it. I didn’t want to be anything but your friend.”

Travis wanted to hold his breath, but he could hardly speak if he did that. “And now?”

Cassidy pressed a hand to Travis’s shoulder. “If it’s something that you need to deal with your pain issue, I can’t…deny you help.”

The statement was insane enough to drag a burst of laughter from him. “Oh, so this would be a sympathy fuck you’re talking about?”

“
Jesus
, Travis.” Cassidy jerked upright and stepped away.

Travis grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him before Cassidy could cover even two paces. “No…see, that’s where this conversation went wrong before, and it’s
not
going wrong this time. I told you I wanted you, and you know what? You never answered me. Let’s start there and worry about the rest later. The bits about if you beat on me before we fool around, or if you beat on me while we fool around—none of that really matters until I hear you admit the truth.”

He closed the distance between them.

Cassidy’s eyes hardened. “You need me to say that I want you too?”

“
Yes
, damn it.”

Cassidy didn’t answer. He shoved Travis to the wall, easing their bodies together. Their groins made contact, and Travis’s cock tightened. Cassidy planted his hands on either side of Travis’s head. They were both breathing hard, nearly panting, heat pressing between them.

When Cassidy finally spoke the words rumbled out like a curse. “I want you. More than I should. More than I
want
to want you, you bastard.”

He brought their mouths in contact.

Travis was going to die right there and then. All the sexual aggression that usually burst free when he was turned on slid off explosive and down to a simmering high—manageable though ready to flare. He was turned on like crazy but at this moment totally focused on tasting Cassidy.

Tension tightened every one of Cassidy’s muscles, yet his touch remained gentle as he fleetingly slid his tongue over Travis’s lips.

Travis reached around Cassidy’s back, pulling the other man closer as their breathing raced. He resisted yanking Cassidy’s T-shirt off, choosing instead to wedge his fingers under Cassidy’s belt and hold on for dear life.

Already this was enough to make his head spin. The pressure of a hard torso against his. An eager mouth working his. Cassidy’s cock pressing into the rock that had sprung up in his own jeans. Travis rubbed their hips together, and Cassidy groaned into his mouth.

The sound pulled a trigger, and they both lost it. Not in terms of going wild, but things got way more intense damn fast. The pressure went up, and the heat went up further, and Travis found himself being kissed senseless. They ground together as if they were craving each other.

It wasn’t going to take long, not with the tension building as fast as it was. The familiar ache at the base of his cock as his balls tightened made him clutch Cassidy that much harder. Crazy, wild sensations whirled through him, and when Cassidy jammed his hands into Travis’s hair to jerk their mouths apart, the sharp stings sliced like a set of fingernails down his spine.

“Fuck…” He was a kid again about to lose control.

Cassidy kissed him, rocking his hips rapidly until there was no chance of stopping this runaway train. Travis blew his load, abdomen muscles clenching as the climax stripped away what little was left of his mind.

A couple thrusts later Cassidy hissed
yes
, his fingers digging into Travis’s shoulders as he shook.

They rolled apart and semi-collapsed against the wall next to each other, shoulders still touching. Their uneven breaths rattled into the air as dust motes floated by peacefully in the stream of sunshine falling from the window to the dirt floor.

“God.” Travis closed his eyes and sucked for air as hard as possible. Dry fucking Cassidy was one of the hottest things he’d ever experienced while still fully clothed.

The ringing in his ears hadn’t completely faded when the sound of the barn door opening jerked his eyes open and his body to vertical.

Cassidy was fleeing through the doors.

Travis dragged a hand through his hair. As frustrating as seeing Cassidy run,
again
, this wasn’t the end of it. It was only the beginning, and they had a long summer ahead of them. There were all sorts of ways this could go.

It wasn’t going to end here.

Travis straightened the seed sacks still on the ground and made his way to his cabin to change.

And then…he had to find Ashley.

Chapter Thirteen

She’d seen guilt before, many times, but never on Travis. “You get caught in the kitchen stealing chicken carcasses for voodoo rituals or something?”

Travis glanced up from the stick he was supposedly whittling. “What’s that?”

Ashley continued to play her guitar softly. Maybe if she wasn’t looking straight at him he’d feel easier about telling her what the hell was going on. “You feeling the urge for…stress release?”

His laugh was tight—not the usual light and cocky response she should have gotten. “Stress release. I like that, but no, not really. Although I did talk to Cassidy earlier today.”

They were seated in the clearing where eventually there would be a group fire pit with row benches around it for customers to use. Now there was only the fire ring, and Ashley had hauled in lawn chairs from her camper. They were in that between time of the day—after supper was done and before people were ready to officially give up for the night.

She figured there was about ten, maybe fifteen minutes before the rest of the crew would start wandering in with drinks in hand. They’d sit and watch the fire and shoot the breeze a little before they hit the sack. Ashley had taken to bringing out her guitar, trying her best to keep them entertained, although their music requests ran the gauntlet from country to hard rock.

If she was going to get Travis to surrender any secrets, it had better be in a hell of a hurry.

“Talking to Cassidy is a good thing.” She strummed lightly and glanced around to make sure they were still alone. “Is he going to help you over the summer?”

“Yeah.” Travis leaned back in his chair. “You okay with it?”

What kind of question was that? “Of course. You said it wasn’t something I could do, so why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

Travis fidgeted, and Ashley wondered harder.

“There something else on your mind?”

Something between a grin and a grimace twisted his face. “Well, you know that other thing you thought Cassidy might want to help me with?”

Oh. “Um, does this involve hot and sweaty male bodies grinding together in the dark? And can I watch?”

She thought he’d make a joke or try to brush it off, but something was definitely wrong. His continued uneasiness warned her to go slowly.

He shrugged. “Something happened, but Cassidy took off, and I’m not sure exactly where things are at.”

Holy shit. Ashley did a mental readjustment. She’d wanted Travis happy, and if being with Cassidy could make him happy, so be it. But this wasn’t making any sense. “So what happened? I mean, like where, and what?”

Travis rolled his eyes. “You want a play by play?”

“Yes, please.” Ashley smiled hesitantly. “Well, I should have been paying better attention, I guess, but hey, good for you guys.”

“You’re not upset?”

Ashley waved a hand. “You can make it up to me some other time.”

A couple of the crew called from by the cookhouse, already making their way toward the fire pit. Her and Travis’s time alone was about to come to an end.

“This doesn’t change anything with us. It doesn’t mean we’re not together.” Travis leaned in closer and stroked the back of her neck. “You drive me crazy.”

“I know, and you do a damn good job of making me blissful. But if you get a chance to have some fun with Cassidy, I’m not going to make a fuss.”

He looked confused. “I feel as if I should be telling you not to worry more, but you really aren’t upset, are you?”

“Nope.” Ashley dug down deep, forcing herself to do the right thing. “I like you a lot, Travis. I came back to Rocky because I wanted to spend time with you as well as set down some roots, but most of all I want what’s going to make you happy.”

He nuzzled her neck, and goose bumps rose. “Hmm, maybe later I’ll work on that
make you happy
business…”

“I’d like that.”

The first of the crew arrived, chairs in hand, laughter ready to break free. Days of hard work led into this time of relaxing and settling in before nightfall, and as the stars slowly emerged in the darkening sky, Ashley played her guitar and sang.

And wondered if she should have been completely honest with Travis about what she thought about him and Cassidy. Because she wanted to watch, yes, but she also wanted to touch.

Be touched.

The next days as they worked dawn to dusk, more of the camp reached the final stages. Ashley caught herself watching the guys on the sly. Seeing if they were still sending out all those not-so-secret messages.

But what she registered more and more was her attraction to Travis
and
Cassidy. Not watching them as a couple, but them as men individually.

It was midafternoon when she wandered out of her camper toward the residences and spotted Cassidy ducking into the old building they were turning into a sauna. She followed after him, curious.

He glanced up as she entered, a mouthful of nails poking from between his lips. He muttered around them. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Ashley picked up the boards stacked by the door. “You want some help?”

He nodded, pointing to where she could hold the end.

It took a couple minutes before his mouth was empty enough he could speak, a lazy smile escaping first. “Sorry about that, I didn’t have enough hands.”

“Glad I could help, then.” She had to climb up on the wooden bench seat to reach the top of the next board he held. “I have to take regular breaks, or I’d get stuck behind the computer all day, and that would be a sin with how pretty this place is.”