River's End (37 page)

“I know that. I know. Don’t leave me now that I’ve just gotten you back.”

“I’m sorry, Livvy. I wanted you to look at me once, just once, and know who I was. In the end I kept you safe. Maybe that makes up for all the years I didn’t.” His vision wavered and dimmed. “Write the book, Brady. Tell the truth.”

“Count on it.”

“Take care of my little girl. Kiss me good-bye, Livvy love.”

With tears flooding her throat, she pressed her lips to his cheek. And felt his hand go lax in hers. Her grief was one long, low moan.

Noah sat with her while she cradled her father’s body and wept in the rain.

She slept because Noah poured a sedative down her throat. When she woke, logy with drugs and grief and shock, it was midday.

She heard the birdsong, felt the sun on her face. And, opening her eyes, saw him sitting beside her.

“You didn’t sleep.”

He was already holding her hand. He couldn’t seem to let go. “I did for a bit.”

“Everything that happened, it’s all in my head, but it feels as if it’s wrapped in cotton.”

“Just leave it that way for now.”

He looked so wonderful, she thought. So hers, with his exhausted eyes and stubble of beard. “You saved my life.”

“Just part of the service.” He leaned down to kiss her. “Don’t make me do it again.”

“That’s a deal. How’s your shoulder?”

“Well, I could say it’s nothing, but why lie? It hurts like a bitch.”

She sat up, tugged up the sleeve of his T-shirt and pressed her lips to the bandage.

“Thanks. Why don’t you try to get some more sleep?”

“No, I really need to get out.” She looked into his eyes. “I need to walk. Walk in the forest with me, Noah.”

When she was dressed, she held out a hand for his. “My family?”

“They’re still asleep. Your grandparents were up with Jamie until almost dawn.”

She nodded, started out quietly. “Your parents?”

“In the spare room.”

“They’ll need us, all of them. I need this first.”

They went down the back stairs and left through the kitchen door.

“Your father,” she began. “When they found us, I don’t think he knew whether he was proud of you or horrified.” She let out a breath, drew another in. “I think he was both.”

“He taught me how to handle guns, to respect them. I know he hoped I’d never have to use one.”

“I don’t know how to feel, Noah. All these years I thought my father was a murderer, the worst kind of murderer. I lost him when I was four, and now I have him back. I have him back in a way that changes everything. And I can never tell him.”

“He knew.”

“It helps to have that, to hold on to that.” She tightened her hand on his as they moved into the trees. “I didn’t run. I didn’t leave him. This time I didn’t run and hide. I can live with all the rest because this time, I didn’t run.”

“Liv, you gave him exactly what he wanted at the end of his life. You looked at him, and you knew him. He told me that was the last thing he needed.”

She nodded, absorbing that into the grief. “All my life, I loved my uncle. I shifted him into my father figure, admired him, trusted him. He wasn’t what I thought he was, any more than my father was what I thought he was. Oh God. God, Noah, how is Aunt Jamie going to cope with this? How is she going to live with it?”

“She has you, your family. She’ll get through it.”

“I hope she’ll stay here, for a while at least. Stay here and heal.”

“I think she needs to hear you say just that.”

She nodded again and leaned against him a little. “You’re good at knowing what people need to hear.” She let out a sigh. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to come in here again and feel what I’ve always felt. But I can. It’s so beautiful. So alive. No monsters here.”

“Not ever again.”

“I love this place.” It had sheltered her, given her life. Now, she had a choice. To stay with the old, or to start the new.

She let go of Noah’s hand, turned in a circle. “But there’s this other spot, along the coast. Heavily wooded, excellent old forest with a view of the Pacific raging up against the cliffs.” She stopped, met his eyes soberly. “That’s where we should build the house.”

He stared at her while a rage of emotions gushed into him, then settled in quiet joy. “How many bedrooms?”

“Five, as previously discussed.”

“Okay. Stone or wood?”

“Both.” Her lips twitched, her eyes glowed now, as he nodded and stepped toward her.

“When?”

“As soon as you ask me to marry you, which you’ve neglected to do so far.”

“I knew I’d forgotten something.” She laughed when he hauled her into his arms. “I’ve waited a long time for you.” He
brushed his lips over hers, then lingered, deepened the kiss. “Don’t make me wait anymore. Marry me.”

“Yes.” She framed his face with her hands. “Between the forest and the flowers. And soon.” She smiled at him, drawing him close to touch her lips to his cheek. “I love you, Noah. I want to start a life with you. Now. We’ve both waited long enough.”