Rite of Rejection (Acceptance Book 1) (19 page)

He pushes my hand away and takes a step back from me. The pain of his actions slices at my exposed emotions. His words shout at me across the few feet separating us. “They’ll reject Patrice.”

“Who’s Patrice?”

“My sister.”

Daniel told me a long time ago he had a sister back home, but in all this time he’s never mentioned her again. It’s clear he hasn’t forgotten about her. “She’s up for Acceptance this year, isn’t she?”

Daniel nods, the movement barely visible in the minimal moonlight shining through our window. “I won’t destroy her chance to have a normal life.”

I reach for his hand again, and this time he doesn’t pull away. I need to say something, anything, that will convince him he can’t give up, but anything I say will sound like I’m asking him to sacrifice his sister. “You can’t be sure of what will happen.” I hate myself for what I’m about to say, but it doesn’t stop me. “She could be Rejected even if you do nothing.”

Daniel throws my hand back at me. “Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t understand any of it.”

“Then help me understand. You know more about the Machine than you’re telling us.” I force my arms to stay glued to my sides. I don’t trust myself not to reach out to him again. “Please don’t shut me out.”

“No. It won’t change anything.” Daniel bends down to pick Elizabeth off the floor and guides her near-comatose body over to a creaky bed.

“You said my brain is what landed me in here. So let me use it. Tell me what you know.”

“Don’t you get it?” Daniel turns back to me, but refuses to meet my eyes. “What I know got me in here. I won’t put you at more of a risk and I won’t jeopardize Patrice’s Acceptance.”

Daniel tucks Elizabeth in. The resignation in his slumping shoulders is more than I’m willing to accept. “I’m stronger than you give me credit for and I’d be willing to bet Patrice is, too.” His arms tense, but he stays silent. “I can’t sit around here and watch you give up.”

I’m out the door before Daniel can stop me. I have no idea where I’m going, only that I need to get away from the despair that hangs like a heavy layer of fog inside our bunkhouse. The streets are empty. Most people are probably at dinner now. It’s not a good idea to skip meals around here, but I can’t even think about eating. Not when my thin hold on normalcy is crumbling to pieces through my fingers.

I need to come up with a new plan, one that doesn’t put Daniel’s sister at risk, but I can’t think. A sharp, cool breeze hits the front of my damp dress. How long have I been crying? Ever since we got out of Quarantine I’ve been pushing Daniel away, afraid of what could happen if I really opened my heart to him. But now that I’m staring at the real possibility of losing him forever, I realize I was only kidding myself.

I can turn down his offers for evening walks and sit on the opposite side of the dining hall table till the end of time, but none of that has prevented me from falling in love with him. Eric was right. I tried to keep my distance, but even he could see the way I felt.

“Hey there, what’s a pretty girl like you doing crying all alone?”

The unfamiliar voice pulls me out of my stupor of self-pity. This is not an area of the PIT I’m familiar with. The streets are dotted with folks done with dinner and looking to fill the hours before total darkness claims the day. I’ve been gone much longer than I realized.

I turn around to retrace my steps back to the bunkhouse, but a coarse, grimy hand reaches out and grabs my arm. “Not so fast, pretty lady. I asked you a question.”

The gangly man grabs my other arm and spins me against the outer wall of a nearby bunkhouse. His short, dark hair is matted on top of his head and I can smell a week’s worth of filth on his skin when he leans in closer to me. He pushes one of his legs between mine and pins my shoulders to the wall with his skinny arms. I struggle against the pressure, but he’s stronger than he looks under the layers of grease and grime.

“Something made the pretty lady sad. Bet I can give you something to cheer up your evening.”

I scream out against the pressing darkness, but the people who dotted the streets just a minute ago have disappeared. The sun has all but set and I can barely see a couple feet to either side. I scream again, but the few people who might hear me don’t care.

And why should they? When a girl in my own bunkhouse called out for help against the man assaulting her, I hid under my bunk.

“Please don’t do this.” My voice comes out as weak whimper between the sobs that wrack my chest. I kick out with one of my legs, but the effort puts me off-balance and my foul attacker only increases his pressure against me.

“Shut up now, if you know what’s good for you.” He presses his dirty nose against the side of my neck and inhales deeply, moving up past my ear. His pelvis pushes up against the front of my dress and another sob escapes from my throat when he lets out a low moan.

Pinned against the wall, I’m defenseless against him. He reaches an arm down and runs an unwelcome hand under my skirt and up my thigh, tugging at my thin underpants. I close my eyes. Please let it be over soon.

“Please.” My words are little more than a whisper now. “For the sake of the Cardinal, please don’t do this.”

My attacker pulls back. He’s going to let me go. Instead, he shifts his left forearm across my chest so he can raise his right hand up to strike me. “I thought I told you to shut—”

A crack echoes in the empty alley, and the rancid man who held me captive crumples into a heap at my feet. My legs won’t support me and I slide down the wall, the crunching sound of a guard’s baton beating against Molly’s head running on a loop through my brain.

Strong arms lift me up into a cradle hold and practically run out of the alley. I should say something, anything, but I can’t form words around the sickening crunch echoing in my skull.

The door to our bunkhouse opens, and the sight of familiar surroundings in the dim light of the moon finally re-engages my brain. “Daniel?”

“It’s okay. We’re home now. You’re safe.” He lays me on my bunk, but I’m not ready to let go of him yet. I cling to his neck the way a small child clings to her mother after a nightmare.

“You came for me.”

Daniel guides my arms from around his neck but holds my hands against his chest until I stop shaking. “I’ll always come for you.”

“Daniel, I—”

“Tomorrow, okay?” He lifts my legs up to lay them on the bed and eases my head down onto the flat pillow. “We have a lot to talk about, but it can all wait until morning.”

I grip his hand and pull it up to my cheek. His skin is rough but it feels like silk against my face. “Don’t leave me.”

Daniel reaches behind him with his free hand and pulls a makeshift chair over next to my bed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Twenty-Three

A soft tapping sound interrupts the sleep I thought would never come. The first hint of pink sunlight shines in through the window, painting the room in scarlet hues. Daniel is at the table, hunched over and moving his hands along the top. Elizabeth is still snoring softly in the bunk next to mine.

I lie still for a minute to watch him. He came for me when everyone else ignored me. I pull the blanket up tighter under my chin and push the ugly pictures out of my head. That’s my savior sitting at the kitchen table and I’m going to keep him.

Daniel looks up from whatever he’s working on and smiles at me. It’s not his wide, dimple-revealing smile. This one is more timid, less sure. He gets up from the table and slides into the chair he left by my bed. “Hi.”

I force my mouth muscles into a smile and push myself into a sitting position. I want to stay curled up under the thin cover, but there isn’t time to waste in my fight to save our family. I still need to convince Daniel to help me.

“Rebecca, I’m so sorry about last night.”

I grab his hand and squeeze as hard as I can. This beautiful man came for me in the middle of the night and saved me from…from what could have happened. Yet here he sits, apologizing to me. “I should be the one saying sorry. I’m sorry I ran out like that. I’m sorry I—”

Daniel lays his free hand over my lips, barely touching his skin to mine. I want so badly to nuzzle my head into that hand and let his warmth wash over me, clearing away every awful thing that’s happened since I set my feet on PIT soil.

“I watched you walk out that door and the minute it closed behind you I realized how much I stand to lose when it comes to you. I can’t let that happen.”

I want him to help me. I need him more than ever, but I can’t coerce him into it. If Eric’s betrayal taught me anything, it’s that going with the flow out of a sense of obligation will only lead to disappointment for everyone. “What about Patrice? I can’t let you pick me over your sister.”

Daniel smiles, and this time his dimples are back. “You are amazing, but I’m not picking you over my sister.” He takes both my hands in his, covering my fingers with comfort and warmth. “I’m choosing everyone over my sister. It’s time the truth was revealed.”

I squeeze his hand. We’re so close our knees are touching. Even that’s not enough. I want to lean into him and never let go, but I have to focus. “Does that mean you’re going to help me hack into the Acceptance ceremony?”

“I want to show you something.” Daniel stands up, still holding my hands, and pulls me over to the table.

“What are you messing with over…?” A flat, grey tablet rests on the rough wooden surface. “How did you get that? The guards confiscated our bags. We went back and checked; they took everything.”

“You better sit down.” He reaches over to another chair and pulls off a sandy burlap bag to make room for me.

“Molly’s bag.” I grab it from him, tracing a finger along the faded red stamp of a potato on the front. “Where did you get this? Daniel, what’s going on?”

“Sit down, please.” I flop down into the seat and rest my elbows on the table. Daniel flashes me a sheepish smile. “You brought two Noteboards out of the Admin building, but I only needed one. I could have packed both of them in our escape bags, but…”

“But what?”

“I should have said something, but I thought I was imagining things. Seeing Eric for the way I wanted to see him. I didn’t trust him, so I came up with my own backup plan. I took Molly’s bag and buried the extra Noteboard in it out by the fence. If everything went as planned, I’d dig it up at the last minute and take it with us. If not, well, it would be there if I needed it.”

Daniel stares at me, waiting for a response. His forehead crinkles above his nose. He’s worried I’ll be mad, but I can barely think about the Noteboard. “Was I the only one who didn’t think something was wrong with Eric?”

Daniel looks over my shoulder to Elizabeth’s sleeping form. “Her too?”

I nod. “I spent more time with him than anyone. Why didn’t I notice what you guys saw?”

“It’s not your fault. You believe the best in people.” He reaches over and takes my hand in his, but I don’t hold it back.

“You mean I’m weak. Naïve Rebecca believes every word she hears. Bought into the Cardinal’s lies hook, line, and sinker.”

“Trusting people isn’t a weakness.” He lets go of my hand and leans back in the chair, arms crossed. “The fault is mine for not saying something while I still had the chance to make a difference.”

“It’s not too late to make a difference.” I push the Noteboard closer to him. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re half crazy,” He says leaning back toward the table and winking at me. “And half genius. It’s going to be a mad rush to get it done in time, but you’re right. We need to stop hiding in here. People out there need to know what’s going on.”

“I need to know what’s going on.” I sit up straight in the chair and clasp my hands in front of me on the table. “You know how the Machine works, don’t you?”

Daniel slumps down into the chair and nods his head. He stares at the top of the table, refusing to meet my eyes. “The Machine does exactly what the Cardinal says it does. It detects chemical signals in the brain and compares them to the general population. Complex algorithms determine if you have a propensity for crime. Anyone above a preset threshold fails. It isn’t perfect, but it works most of the time.”

Nothing he’s said so far is that different from the basic understanding that most people back home assume. There’s got to be more to it. He looks up and there’s a hardness behind his eyes I haven’t seen since the first time he told me about the escape plan. “Every year after age sixteen at your annual physical, the reader records the same information as the Machine. A secret panel reviews the information and any changes are reported. If at any point, the data indicates the likelihood of criminal activity has exceeded the threshold, action is taken to remove the threat from society.”

“I’ve never heard of someone older than sixteen being taken to the PIT.”

Daniel shakes his head. This can’t be good. “Taking additional people to the PIT would be admitting the Machine isn’t perfect. The Cardinal’s entire hold on power is based on the Machine’s perfection. People who exceed the threshold after passing their Acceptance suffer from deadly accidents, or undiagnosed heart disease. They don’t come here. They die.”

“This is why they don’t monitor the cameras in here anymore, isn’t it? The Cardinal needed the manpower to monitor the annual screenings and…and…” I can’t say it. Murder innocent citizens.

Daniel just nods his head. I don’t have to say it.

My hands shake. I’m afraid to ask any more questions, but I need to know the truth. “What about people like us?”

“It’s not enough to remove criminals. The Cardinal decided about a decade ago that other, less desirable, citizens should be eliminated. Anyone who doesn’t fit into his idea of perfection. People like Elizabeth and Constance couldn’t be allowed to pollute the population with their differences. But when you change the rules, people start to notice. People who might question the rules are a danger. Not to society, but to the Cardinal, and his power. People like me. Like you.”

Tears roll down my cheeks unrestrained. I’m not surprised by what he’s telling me, but it doesn’t hurt any less.

“Everything we do is recorded. The books we read at the library, letters we write to family and friends, English class assignments, all of it. They watch who you’re friends with to see if you socialize within the appropriate class circle.”

Cheryl. Sweet Cheryl who I loved like a sister was a contributing factor to my Rejection. How many other innocent actions sent me here? Our English teacher assigned an essay last year about what we wanted in an ideal spouse. I added a paragraph about my fears of not finding a husband before I turned twenty-one. There was even a line about feeling bad for the girls who were forced into a Compulsory marriage. My teacher circled that paragraph, but didn’t add any notes. I got an A and assumed he was making note of a well-written paragraph. What if he was making note of an abnormal fear that raised alarms on my file? “They knew before I ever set foot on that stage that I would be Rejected. Didn’t they?”

Daniel nods and sinks his forehead into his hands. “It’s all part of the show. The public Rejection reminds all the good citizens how much they need the Cardinal and his perfect Machine to keep them safe.”

The effort to stay still is too much and I stand up to walk the length of the room. My anger builds with each pounding step. “Who knows about this?”

“All the council members. That’s how I found out. I was searching my dad’s office for a book I wanted to borrow. He had some files on his desk and curiosity got the better of me.”

“They know and they do nothing to stop it.” My voice is sharper than I want it to be. I slow my pace and take a few deep breaths to get control of my heart rate. “Why?”

“They shut their eyes and close their ears to the truth. Because even though they know it’s wrong, deep down, they’re glad the Cardinal is ‘cleaning up’ society. And they know that their continued power hinges on the Cardinal maintaining his.”

I pass by Elizabeth, still asleep in her bed. I wish I could be her and undo the conversation I’ve just had. My head is about to explode and despite my empty stomach I might be sick. I stride to the other side of the room and rest my head against the cool concrete of the wall.

“Do you hate me now?”

Daniel’s words pull me back to the table. I grab both of his hands in mine and force him to look at me. “Why in the world would I hate you?”

“I knew. I knew about all of this, and I was just as bad as the cabinet members.” His hands pull at my arms, urging me to understand. “I kept my mouth shut and pretended like I didn’t know. I never wanted to tell you because I’m ashamed. You have every right to hate me.”

“No one would have believed you. Who would take the ludicrous statement of a kid who wasn’t even a full citizen yet seriously? There was nothing you could do then.”

“I’m going to make it right.” Daniel stands up, tugging me up with him.

“We’ll make it right, together.”

Daniel wraps his arms around my waist and I fall into him. My arms stretch around his back and soak in his strength and warmth. My head fits perfectly in the slight valley of his chest. I pull closer and Daniel rests his chin on top of my head. The soft thumping of his heart strips away any defense I had left guarding my own. I could stand like this with him all day.

“If you guys are done with your love fest, do you think we can get some breakfast?” I step back out of Daniel’s embrace. Elizabeth is sitting on the side of her bunk, one eyebrow raised and a slight smirk stretched across her lips. She stands and winks once at Daniel, whose face is the same shade as the dark-rose-tinted light streaming through the window. “Of course, I can always go on ahead if you guys need a minute.”

Daniel grabs the Noteboard and shoves it under a pillow. He heads out the door without a word, Elizabeth and I right behind him.

***

The dining hall is full of people talking and laughing. The improvements have boosted everyone’s spirits. All of them sit around joking and eating their burnt oatmeal like nothing has changed. They have no idea how bad things are about to get.

“So what do we need in order to make this happen?” I push my half-finished bowl of oats away. No matter how long we stay here, I’ll never get used to burnt oatmeal.

“The Noteboard we’ve got, but I’ll need some cables to splice into the feed. And we’ll need a camera.” Daniel counts the items off on his fingers. “Once they set up their video site, I have to re-route the signal to a transmitter that I can turn on when we’re ready to cut into the broadcast. It’s a lot to get done in just a few days.”

“Gosh, you make it sound so easy.” Elizabeth takes another big bite of oatmeal and glares across the table at us.

“We could use your help.” I lean in to keep my voice from carrying to the other people at our table. “We need to find a location to use as a backdrop that doesn’t have the new and improved PIT makeover.”

“No, I won’t have any part in this and I don’t think you should, either.”

“How can you say that? If we don’t stop them, Daniel will be on his own.” I can’t lose him now that we have an actual chance to be together.

“Better stuck on the other side of some stupid fence than locked away for months in Quarantine again, or worse.” She slams her bowl down and pushes it away even though it isn’t empty yet. “How many times do you think they’ll let us thumb our noses at the Cardinal before they decide to remove the problem permanently?”

“Don’t you think Molly would—?”

Elizabeth pounds her fist on the table and several people look over at us. “Leave Molly out of this.”

“I just think—”

“Then stop thinking. You can leave me out of your plans.” Elizabeth doesn’t wait for another argument. She swings her legs over the bench and races out of the dining hall.

Daniel is as still as stone next to me. Is he going to follow her out and forget about the plan? I can’t do this without him. I wait for him to get up, but he stays on the bench, eyes staring at the door Elizabeth disappeared through.