Risk Everything (31 page)

“Ah, love, what a tasty sight,” he whispered as he lowered his head.

Eager as any bairn awaking from sleep, he suckled at each breast. After all the sweetness was gone, he reached out and filled another finger with the jelly and trailed it down to her navel. She shivered with anticipation. He raised his brows and shook his head.

“Nay, Meghan mine. Not yet.”

His hot tongue flashed out to lick and tease, setting her to squirming as he neared the dark curls low on her body. To hold her still, he sat on her calves, supporting his weight with his legs. His sac seemed filled with hot sand, heavy and heated.

This time, he dipped his thumb deep into the jellied fruit.

His smile wicked now, he tapped her lips. Heat built in her eyes as she licked and teased his thumb, then drew it deep into her mouth to suck. With each strong pull of her hot mouth, his pulse pounded heavy through his groin as his lust built. His rod throbbed and swelled till his skin stretched so tight he feared it would burst. He trembled with anticipation.

Loud in the quiet room, his breath rasped and mingled with the sounds of her greedy sucking. He started to pull his hand away, but she drew on his thumb all the stronger. His tarse bucked, and with an eager cry, he spread her legs and entered her with one powerful surge. Her legs gripped tight around his hips, and she mimicked the same strong rhythm with her hot mouth as he deepened his thrusts.

Only when they climaxed together did she release his thumb.

“Ah, Meghan mine.” He grasped her tight to his body and rolled over, bringing her atop him. “Ne’er have I felt the need for a woman as I have for you.” His voice broke.

“Love, I will always be here. I wouldna deny ye, for my need for ye is as great,” Meghan whispered.

Rolf ’s heart ached at the words, and his chest could not

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hurt more even if an anvil rested on it. He blinked his eyes, masking the tears there. Meghan straightened her arms and lifted above him, grinning mischievously. Bending her head, her hair flipped forward to form a curtain around their faces.

Long years past, he had once pinned her against a wall and whispered to her of a dream he’d had where she had made love to him with her hair. When he had freed her, she had blackened his eye for speaking such wicked thoughts.

Now, Meghan made love to him as he had described it.

Inch by slow inch, she trailed her warm hair over him, tickled and enticed him as she neared what she sought.

Neither slept but short bursts of time throughout the night.

Rolf pleasured her in every way he knew how. He made slow, exquisite love to her as he poured out his feelings to surround her in the warmth of them. She responded with equal tenderness, whispering how much she needed him.

By the time Meghan slept, dawn peeped its red-gold head to lighten the sky. Rolf inched his way off the bed. If she awoke as he left, he could not bear it. Carrying his clothing, he turned to engrave her image in his heart and mind.

Meghan lay on her back, the covers tangled around her knees. She was a vital, golden woman of the earth, one arm flung above her head, the other bent with her hand curled against her cheek. Rosy-tipped breasts beckoned him never to leave her.

Did she carry his bairn? Did she know?

As if to tell him it was her secret to reveal or hide, a faint smile lingered on her lips as he slipped from the room.

Hearing a soft noise, Meghan stirred.

“Rolf?” she murmured, still half asleep.

Hearing no answer, she reached out to feel for him. Nothing but his still-warm pillow greeted her. She forced herself awake, feeling saddened by the loss of his presence. Dread prickled her mind and soul. ’Twas like entering a nightmare, but how could that be? She was awake, not dreaming.

What caused this feeling? She thought of the glorious night.

For truth, they had been the most unforgettable hours of her life.

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Hours she could never hope to relive again. The memory of his tender and passionate loving gladdened her heart.

Some new emotion had underlaid his feelings as he made love to her. Had there been a note of sadness, of desperation?

Mayhap he thought their love doomed because of his stubborn belief that Connor was to blame for his past tragedies?

Surely ’twas possible to overcome if he would relent and allow the two families to meet on neutral ground. Connor and Damron would prove to him they were in Abernethy at the time of the assault on Rolf ’s wife. Even Mereck had been gone from Blackthorn overseeing the manning of Damron’s newly acquired estates from his proxy marriage to Brianna.

Meghan dressed and went in search of Rolf. A heavy blanket of unease seemed to overlay Rimsdale and all its people.

He was in the practice field swinging Beast at Dougald like his very life depended on the outcome. Not content when he tired Dougald, he motioned Jamie over to take his commander’s place. Sun glinted off their helmets, shooting shafts of light to her eyes.

“Come, lady.” Alpin’s hand rested lightly on her elbow to turn her to look at him. “Rolf is in a surly mood this morn. He would work it off. ’Tis best you not distract him, or he may do himself an injury.”

She looked around at the men and frowned.

“Has something happened? Dinna tell me another man has gone missing?”

“Nay.” Alpin flushed and glanced around him. Seeing Garith and Ugsome coming toward them, he called out. “Ho, Garith. I heard you wished Meghan to exercise Simple so Jamie’s squire couldna deny you told him true of her clumsy flight?”

Garith tilted his head to the side and eyed Alpin. His brow furrowed, then cleared when he stared at the practice field and saw Rolf. Understanding lit his face.

“Aye, that I do. My lessons with the good priest have near put me to sleep. All that learning of sums and languages make me wish to hide beneath the hay in the stable.”

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Until late in the day, someone was always at hand to occupy Meghan’s time. No sooner did she finish with one person than another took his place. Why this sudden need for her company?

At the noon meal, Rolf didna appear.

“Dougald, does yer lord not wish to dine?” she asked as soon as the stocky commander came to the table.

“My lady, he has ridden out with the last patrol and willna return until this next morn.” He rolled his shoulders and shoved a shock of black hair from his forehead. He shifted from one foot to the other. “Uh, Rolf often takes another man’s place on night patrol to give that man relief.” He sat with a thud on his stool.

“ ’Tis most generous of him,” Meghan said. It did seem something he would do for his men. In her time here at Rimsdale, she had noted he was good to his tenants and kind to all who were under his care. Her shoulders slumped. She sorely missed him this day and had looked forward to nightfall.

The evening dragged by. When Alpin requested a tune on the bagpipes, she was glad to oblige. As she filled the great hall with merry Scottish tunes, men and women laughed and stomped as they danced and vanquished their uneasy spirits.

’Twas lonely when she went up to their chamber. Never had a bed seemed so overlarge. Hours later, she finally slept.

She raced through the forest, fighting off the heavy
branches that snagged her hair and tore at her clothing. Cold
fingers of fear crept up her neck, and she darted a glance behind her. Seeing who pursued her, she sobbed and ran faster.

She must escape.

From him. From Rolf. If he captured her now, she would
forever be lost.

Meghan jolted awake. Her heart pounded and her mind filled with dread. She raced to the window opening in hopes that Rolf would ride across the bridge in the early hours afore

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dawn. A quiet scene met her eye. Other than guards atop the walkways, no one stirred.

When Rolf did return, the day was far gone. He seemed curt and withdrawn, doing naught but nod his head at her afore he went off with his men. Puzzled, she watched him.

Even from afar, she could see he was in a quarrelsome mood.

She walked out to the short wooden barrier that separated the practice area from the rest of the outer bailey. She knew he saw her. Why did he turn his head away and motion Jamie, Dougald and Alpin to follow him to the far end of the field?

Once there, he kept his back to her.

Seeing his red-haired squire hurry to the armorer’s hut, she followed him.

“Cormac, when ye return to yer master, please tell him I wish to speak with him.” Meghan’s face heated with her awkward request.

“I be sorry, my lady, but he has, uh, ordered that no one disturb his practice this day.”

The young man’s face flushed bright as his hair, and his gaze barely met hers afore he quickly looked away. Her stomach churned.

Rolf was avoiding her. She could no longer deny it.

Alpin’s guest was due to arrive the next day. Ede, her brow furrowed, bustled about from one end of the castle to the other, as she directed teams of workers.

“Ede, how may I help? Would ye like me to see to the bedchamber for Alpin’s elderly sister? I know my grandda likes things to be just right. If not, he blusters and grouses that we dinna pay enough attention to him.”

“Elderly?” Ede looked up with wide eyes.

“Aye? Is she not?” Meghan frowned. “The chandler said he must have candles aplenty, for
the lady
fears darkness. Cook worries how she can flavor the foods, for
the lady
dislikes spices. She is afeared she willna have enough custards and fruit for soft pasties. The goose girl plans to hide her flock, for
the lady
oft demands she refill her pillows after but a few nights.”

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Ede gulped so loud, she looked startled. Meghan burst into laughter.

“See? She has even caused ye to race about in a frenzy.

Dinna fret. I will see her bedchamber filled with cheerful flowers and sweet rushes, a large, hot brazier of peat to ward off the chill, and candles enough for the most timid of creatures to take comfort.” Ede gulped again, and Meghan patted her back. “Which room have ye prepared for her?”

“Uh, ’tis next to Rolf ’s, of cou . . .” Ede’s voice trailed off.

Meghan gave her an encouraging smile and set off to help make the woman’s arrival as peaceful and comfortable as possible.

Meghan studied the room and smiled, satisfied. She ordered that peat be lit afore the sun rose the next morn and kept stoked to ward off dampness. Frail bones did not like chilly rooms. Grandda always said his knees ached when the fires were not lit.

The bed, with goose-down pillows piled high and an extra soft woolen blanket added beneath the covers, looked warm and inviting. On the morrow, servants would bring fresh flowers to brighten the bedside table.

Why did everyone avoid meeting her eye? All seemed uneasy, oft rubbing their arms or their necks. Did she not know better, she would have thought she detected a note of pity in their behavior.

Leaving the room, she spied Cormac following Ede down the hall. She startled, for in his arms was the trunk of female clothing from Rolf ’s room.

“Ede, where are ye movin’ my things?”

“To my room,” Ede murmured, but did not turn.

Far from her normal cheerful manner, the sprightly woman’s shoulders slumped, and her walk was slow. For what reason did she appear so saddened?

“To yer room? I dinna ken the reason.” Cold chills gathered

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in the pit of her stomach. A shudder coursed through her as she followed them into Ede’s room.

“Because of our
guest
,” Ede whispered.

Blessed saints. Ede had tears in her eyes. Was something amiss? A new thought dawned. Her tension eased. Mayhap the woman didna approve of a handfast. Of course. Knowing her pride would suffer a blow if the woman deemed her a slut, Rolf wished to protect her.

“Ede, please dinna fash yerself over this. I dinna mind hidin’ my relationship with Rolf while she is here. ’Tis kind of him to be thoughtful of her feelin’s and my own.”

Cormac grated out a curse and dropped the trunk on the floor. He shoved it back against the wall and muttered to himself. He hurried away, his face red and scowling.

Ede all but ran after him, swiping at her eyes. Meghan took but a single step after her to ask the reason for her distress, but her unease built so strong she feared she knew the answer.

It needed no great mind to ken the reason. Rolf. After their weeks together, had those days of frenzied lovemaking tired him of her? She slumped down on the side of the bed, thinking over their last days together afore he became so distant.

Never had he shown he didna want her. He had sought her out at every turn, impatient with wanting her. In its need, his lovemaking had been ardent. Frantic even. That last eve, more than any other, she had sensed his deep caring for her. Was it all a lie?

At the evening meal, Rolf was already seated when she entered the room. She blinked when she saw him. She did not believe her eyes, for the torchlight behind him lit strands of silver hair at his temples where there had been none afore.

Never had she seen anyone’s hair turn overnight! She reached to touch it, but he flinched away. His eyes were darkly shadowed, their expression much as an injured pup’s.

Dougald and Alpin sat to Rolf ’s right, but on his left where she was used to being placed, Garith sat with Ede next to him.

“What goes here, Rolf ?” Meghan motioned with her head to the new seating arrangement.

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“ ’Tis needful that you sit apart from me now,” Rolf said, his voice raspy. His gaze did not linger on her face.

Alpin rose and took her by the elbow to lead her to sit beside him. As they passed Ede, Ede raised red-rimmed eyes filled with sympathy and anger. Not wanting to cause her more distress, Meghan said nothing more. As she passed behind Rolf, she heard his sharp intake of breath and saw his body become so taut he looked made of stone.