Rio Loco (12 page)

“I can see it, Barjack,” he said. “And I admire you for your courage and your determination. You're a hell of a damn good lawman. I give you that. But there's men getting killed.”

“All on your side,” I said, “and you could put a stop to it if you was a mind to.”

Just then there was a knock on the door. Polly hollered out, “Who is it?”

The doc answered, and she let him in. She showed him over to where Butcher was a-setting and still a-moaning, and Doc went to asking questions and poking around on ole Butcher.

“I see that a couple of you are hurt, though,” Chugwater said. “I could call this thing off right now.”

“All right,” I said. “You do that.”

“I said I could, if you was to release my brother to me.”

“I ain't a-going to do that.”

“I'd see to it that he showed up for the trial,” Chugwater said. “Hell, I can buy off a jury.”

“And Owl Shit could refuse to come to town for the trial,” I said. “No, sir. That ain't going to happen.”

“Then let's just you and me go outside and fight it out. Just the two of us. No one else would get hurt.”

“I'd be just tickled to oblige you, Chugwater,” I said, “but like you noticed, I been hurt. One a' your skunks shot me in the neck, and I can't hardly manage nothing with my right arm.”

“That's too bad,” Chugwater said.

“I'll damn sure let you know, though, when I'm fit to fight again.”

“I'll be looking forward to it.” He tuck a long drink a' the whiskey I had give him. “But I should warn you, that if it don't come pretty fast, I'll be bringing my entire crew in here to attack you. I mean to have my brother out.”

“Or to die a-trying?”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Go right on ahead. Help yourself.”

He drained his glass and set it down on the floor. Then he stood up and walked outta the cell. I leant back and pushed the blanket what was behint me to one side so I could see Owl Shit and Chugwater in the next cell. Well, Chugwater weren't in it. He were on the outside, but I could see the both a' them. When Chugwater stepped
up to the cell, Owl Shit jumped up and run over to meet him.

“You come to get me outta here?” Owl Shit said.

“Not just yet,” said Chugwater. “You got to have a little more patience. Barjack and his gang have damn near wiped out my cowhands. I had to hire me some new ones.”

“Well, just kill the son of a bitch.”

“That ain't near as easy as it sounds. Listen to me. I'm going to bring in the whole outfit, and we're going to fight it out to the finish. You just sit here and be quiet, and everything will work out for the best. You know I promised Mama, and I always keep my word, especially to Mama.”

“I'll do my best. I'm sure glad you come by. They won't let me talk. I been quiet for the damnedest long time. It almost hurts to be quiet for so long. Say. Is there any way you can get me a drink?”

“I'll see.”

Chugwater come back into the cell where I was a-setting. “Barjack,” he said, “can I buy my brother a drink?”

I thunk about that for a short spell, and then I said, “Hell. Why not?” There was a little more than half left in the bottle I was a-hugging, and I handed it to him. He looked at me a little bit surprised.

“How much?” he ast me.

“No charge,” I said.

“Thanks, Barjack,” he said, and he walked back out. I leant back and pushed that blanket aside one more time to watch and listen. I seen Chugwater hand that bottle through the bars to Owl Shit. Owl Shit tuck it and tuck a fast drink out of
it. He lowered the bottle and give his brother a look. Then he tuck another swaller.

“Thanks, brother,” he said. “Bless you.”

“Thank Barjack,” Chugwater said. “He give it to me for you.”

“Barjack did that?”

“That's right.”

“But he won't let me talk.”

“Try it. I gotta go now. You keep patient. I'll have you out of here soon.”

Chugwater left then, and then I heared Owl Shit in a little weasly voice saying, “Barjack? Barjack?”

“What is it, Owl Shit?”

“Can I say something without getting no water throwed on me and without getting deprived a' my next meal?”

“Talk, Owl Shit,” I said.

“I just want to say thank you for this here bottle. I sure was needing it real bad. I really do appreciate it. You ain't such a bad guy as I thought you was.”

“That's all right, Owl Shit,” I tole him. “That's enough talking now. You keep yourself quiet.”

“Yes, sir,” he said, and he shut up.

Butcher yowled out loud just then, and I figgered that Doc had poked him right where it hurt real bad. In another minute Doc come back into my cell. He come over to me and ripped the bandage off a' my neck and poked it a bit. Then he put on a fresh bandage.

“You'll be all right in another day or two,” he said.

“Hell,” I said, “I'm all right right now.”

“Just you mind what I say.”

“All right. Doc? How's Butcher?”

“Oh. Well, when he fell, he busted a couple of ribs back in the back. I taped him up real tight. That's all I can do for busted ribs. I gave him some laudanum for the pain. He won't be any good to you for a while now. If I were you, I'd send him home to bed.”

“Well,” I said, “the only thing is, you ain't me.”

“Well,” he said, picking up his bag, “call me again when another one of you gets shot or busted up.”

He started out, and I said, “Doc, you send—”

But he interrupted me, saying, “I know. I can send my bill to Peester. He ain't paid the last one yet.” Then he went out and shut the door behint him.

“Butcher,” I called out.

“What, Barjack?”

“Doc says I should send you home to bed. You want to go home?”

“No, Barjack,” he said. “I can't move around much, but I can still shoot if need be.”

“That's what I thought,” I said. “Good for you.”

“Peester's coming,” said Polly.

“Well,” I said, “if he don't call out his name, kill him.”

“Kill the mayor?” Polly said.

“That's our rule in case you forgot it,” I answered.

Well, whenever Peester stepped up on the boardwalk, Polly went and shot his hat off his head. She didn't hardly have the nerve to shoot
the mayor down like I had tole her to do. Peester yelled out. He bent over to get his hat, and he called out, “It's Peester. It's the mayor.”

“Oh,” said Polly. “Well, come on in, Mr. Mayor.”

Peester come in holding his hat with both hands in front a' his chest. He was a-shaking something awful. Bonnie pointed to the cell I was in. Peester come in and seen me.

“Barjack,” he said, “have you been shot?”

“No, I just daubed some ketchup on my neck and wrapped that there bandage over it for looks.”

“I'm glad it wasn't fatal,” he said, and I thunk for sure he was a-lying about that.

“What did you come over here for, Pettifogger?” I said.

“I want to know how you intend to resolve this situation.”

“Which situation you referring to, Your Horniness?”

“This business with Chugwater and his brother.”

“Oh, you mean with ole Owl Shit there in the next cell?”

“Yes. Chugwater's brother.”

“Well, Your Orneriness, I don't know that there's anything to be resolved. Owl Shit kilt a man in front a' a whole bunch a' witnesses, including me, my own self, and I got him in jail. Ain't nothing else to be did. Is there?”

“Barjack, you know damn well what I mean. Chugwater's attacked this town already several times. He's going to tear the town up and get some more people killed. What do you intend to do about that?”

“I can't do nothing about it. I can't control Chugwater's brain, can I? If he keeps on a-coming on, we'll just keep on a-killing them.”

“You could turn Owl, uh, his brother loose.”

“Mr. Goddamn Mayorness, I can't hardly believe that I actual heared you, a bony fide pettifogging lawyer, say that. I'm a duly appointed officer a' the law. I can't just let a murdering skunk a-loose like that. The only way I could do that is if I had a order direct from you in writing and signed by your own hand and witnessed by three other citizens. It might ought to be signed in blood too. Your blood.”

“You know I can't issue such an order.”

“And you know I can't turn loose no killer.”

Well, nobody come around for a few more days, and I come to be kinda relaxed about the whole situation. I got damned tired a' being around the jailhouse with them same people all day and all night ever damn day and night, so I decided to get the hell outta there for a spell. I decided that I would go back down to the Hooch House with my Bonnie and hang around there. I might even spend a night back up in my room upstairs—with my sweet-ass Bonnie a' course. So I went and tole ole Happy that he was more or less in charge a' things while I was out, and I tuck Bonnie along with me and went on down to my saloon. We walked in there like we didn't have no cares in all the world, and we went back and tuck our usual seats at my private table. Ole Gooch Blossum were a-setting there in my own damn chair, and when he seen me a-coming, by God, he grabbed up his drink and scooted real damn fast clean acrost the room. I stood there by my chair and scowled at him for about a couple a' minutes before I set down. Bonnie was already a-setting.

Aubrey seen us come in, and he come over real
quicklike with our two drinks. “Anything else you want?” he ast us.

“No, Aubrey, that's all for right now, but keep 'em a-coming,” I tole him. Then I went and tuck me a good long drink. Bonnie sipped at hers. It were one a' them pink things what she most always had. I kept a-staring at ole Gooch, and he seen me too. Final I reckon he couldn't take it no more. He got up and come all the way back over to my table. He stopped a few feet away from me; his drink was in his hand. I give him a mean, hard look.

“Barjack,” he said, “Aubrey said you was staying at the jail. I wouldn'ta set in your chair if I'da knowed you was coming back in.”

“Gooch, you silly-ass shit,” I said, “you know that this here is my private table and this here what you set in is my private chair. Don't you?”

“Yes, sir, but—”

“And even if I ain't in here, they's still private and personal.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Don't you ever let me catch you a-setting here again.”

“No, sir,” he said. “I won't.”

He backed off a few steps, and then he turned around and started to walk back to where he come from, but he stopped. Then he turned around and looked at me. He said, “Barjack, I don't see no harm in me nor anyone else a-setting in your chair whenever you ain't in here to use it.”

“Oh,” I said, “you getting tough now?”

“No, but I just don't see no sense in it.”

I stood up, knocking my chair over back'ards, and I stepped right up to him. “Gooch,” I said, “I mean to show you the sense of it.”

I reached around behind his neck and grabbed a holt a' his collar, and then I shoved his head down till it was might near his own knees. With my other hand I reached out and grabbed his belt just above his ass, and then I went to walking him toward the front door. He was kinda like running all hunkered over like that, and whenever I reached them batwing doors, I reared back with him and then slung him headfirst through the doors. He sailed out over the boardwalk and landed in the dirt street on his face. He crawled a few feet on out into the street, and then he turned around to look up at me still a-standing there on the boardwalk.

“This is my place,” I said, “and I make the rules for it.”

“Barjack, damn you,” Gooch said, “you went and made me spill my drink, and it weren't even half drank.”

“Come on back in, then,” I said, “and I'll buy you another one. I never said you was throwed out permanent.”

He got up to his feet kinda hesitant, you know, but he follered me back in and back up to the bar. “Aubrey,” I said, “get Gooch another drink. It's on me.” I walked back to my chair and picked it up and set back down in it.

“You buying him a drink?” Bonnie said.

“I spilt his other one,” I said.

I picked mine up and drank it down. Aubrey
seen me and come a-running with the bottle. He give me a refill. I don't rightly remember much a' what went on after that, except that I kept on a-drinking and getting refills. I think that Bonnie had herself a couple a' refills too. Anyhow, I reckon night come on, and I come to feeling just a little guilty. Hell, ole Sly and Churkee and Pistol Polly weren't even my reg'lar depitties, and I had left them down there in the jail while I set in the Hooch House a-drinking whiskey. Somehow, that didn't seem quite right.

“Bonnie,” I said, “I mean to sleep with you upstairs tonight, but before I settle in, I mean to go back down to my office and see is ever'thing all right. Do we still got a bottle up there?”

“I think you finished it off the last time we was up there,” she said.

“Well, get one from ole Aubrey and take it on up there. I'll be right along before you hardly even know I'm gone.”

“All right, Barjack,” she said. “Hurry on along, then.”

“Faster'n a goddamned snake,” I said. I drained my glass and stood up. I was a little bit woozy, but I tried to hide it. Bonnie got up and headed for the bar while I kinda wobbled to the front door. I went out on the boardwalk and stood for a minute sucking in deep breaths of the night air to try and sober me up a little. Final, I turned and started walking toward the jail. I weren't moving too fast though, I can tell you.

I walked past one a' them little narrer spaces betwixt the buildings. It were real dark in there,
and just as I got past it, two thugs come out behint me and grabbed my arms. Another one stepped out in front a' me and pulled a six-gun out and slugged me over the head with it. It hurt, but it only stunned me a little, and I groaned and said, “You goddamn sons a' bitches.” He hit me again, and this time I went out. Ever'thing went black.