Right Where I Belong (28 page)
“I’m with Lexi.” Spencer’s quiet voice was at Natalia’s ear. “But I’d like to go back to the church. There’s so much more we could do.”
“I know.” Natalia regarded Spencer as they made their way down the cracked sidewalk. “But I must admit I am looking forward to being a tourist. I’ve never seen a volcano.”
Spencer slowed, letting the rest of the group go ahead. Natalia stayed back with him. “I need to apologize to you, Natalia, for being such a jerk back in Tampa. And here. You’ve been a good friend despite my behavior. Thanks for that.”
“It has been exciting to see God work in you these past few days, Spencer.” And Natalia meant that. His eyes had been opened to the joy of serving God, and his joy had been contagious.
“I need your help, though.” Spencer’s voice was quiet, and Natalia knew that admission was difficult for him. “I need to change, but it’s going to be hard when we get back home. Here, it’s easy. We’re on a mission trip, and most of my friends aren’t here. They’re not going to understand when I get back. It’ll be easy for me to just go back to the way I was.”
Natalia thought of Spencer’s friends—the ones who mocked her and her friends as they were going to Bible study or who texted beneath their desks during Pastor Brian’s apologetics class. It would be hard for him.
“Of course I’ll help you, Spencer. We’ll all help you. That’s what the body of Christ is for.” The pair walked faster, catching up with the group as they made their way into the house.
Brian glanced her way, his expression hard to read. He had been different this week too. More distant. He didn’t talk to her nearly as much as he usually did. That should
make her feel relieved, but it didn’t. She missed his conversations, his friendship. Too much.
And then there was Spencer. He was changing. Much kinder. Hungry to know God more and serve him. He wasn’t the same rude rich boy she knew him to be. Was she developing feelings for him?
No.
Natalia shook her head to clear those thoughts.
What am I thinking? He’s just being vulnerable right now, and that is endearing. But this is not attraction.
And as she examined her feelings, she knew what she felt for Spencer was not what she felt for Brian.
I don’t think about Spencer all the time. I don’t wish Spencer would sit next to me on the van. I don’t worry about how I look first thing in the morning because of what Spencer might think.
“Girl.” Lexi bumped Natalia’s arm, following Natalia’s gaze to Brian, who was helping his mom pull out the ingredients for the evening’s snack. “You’ve got it bad.”
Natalia quickly walked away, refusing to admit just how right Lexi was.
U
nbelievable.” Natalia stood on a bridge looking down at the rain forest. Monkeys lay in the trees, colorful birds flitted past her. And there were so many shades of green.
“I grew up in a place like this,” Addy said, her voice soft. “I’d forgotten how beautiful it is.”
“Do you miss it?” Natalia had never heard Addy mention her life growing up in the jungles of Colombia.
Addy shrugged. “I know more about it from my mother’s journals than from my own memories. But she loved it.”
“What made her want to be a missionary?”
Addy looked at Natalia. “She and Dad just knew it was what God wanted them to do. It was a desire he put in their hearts.”
“They were killed, weren’t they?” Natalia hoped she wasn’t prying.
Addy bit her lip. “Yes. But so were most of Jesus’ disciples and many Christians throughout the years. Obedience
comes at a cost. But I don’t think my parents would say they regretted that cost.”
Natalia thought about that.
Obedience comes at a cost.
“I think your parents would be very proud of you.”
“I hope so.” Addy sighed. “I know I’m proud of them.”
“This is so different from San José.” Lexi interrupted the girls’ conversation. “Don’t you think, Spencer?”
He was quiet, taking it all in. Hope flared in Lexi’s eyes. Her attraction to the young man had certainly not died. Natalia feared, however, that Spencer didn’t return those feelings.
“What?” Spencer turned to Lexi. “Sorry. I was thinking.”
“About how amazing God is to have created all this?” Lexi smiled at Spencer.
“Actually, yes.” His eyes locked on Lexi’s. “How did you know?”
“Spence, that’s what we’re all thinking.”
His look of surprise faded to one of conspiratorial understanding.
“Enough standing around.” Lexi began walking. “I want to get to the waterfalls. Who’s with me?”
The group hiked farther, up steep stairs and past more monkey-laden trees.
“My camera.” Natalia remembered that she left it lying on a log before the hanging bridge. She had taken a picture of the group and then continued on. “I need to go back.”
“Not by yourself.” Pastor Brian’s “dad” voice took over. “Bri, go with her.”
Brian looked like he would argue, but a glare from his father caused him to shake his head and keep going. Natalia
hurried to keep up with him. Halfway across the bridge, she said, “Slow down. Don’t forget I’m about a foot shorter than you are, Goliath.”
Brian slowed. “Sorry.”
“I’ll go as quickly as I can.” Natalia felt his frustration, but she didn’t understand the source. “I know you want to be with the rest of the group.”
Brian turned around, and the bridge swayed beneath their feet. He stood still for a moment, his eyes locked on Natalia’s. Then he stepped toward her, his blue eyes never leaving her face. The sun chose that moment to peek through the foliage, and his whole face lit up, golden sparks jumping off his red hair. A day’s stubble lined his jawline and a thin sheen of red covered his nose, evidence of four days working outside on the church.
He stopped just inches from Natalia, bending his head down so she could feel his breath on her face. “No, Natalia. I don’t want to be with the rest of the group.”
Natalia’s heart beat so fast, she could hear its echoes drumming in her ears, almost feel her blood pumping from her head to her toes. Brian had never looked at her like that. There was no mistaking his meaning, his feelings.
Natalia wanted to say something, to do something. But she was frozen. She couldn’t move, could barely breathe. Both stood on the bridge, staring at the other.
Brian groaned and stood up straight, backing up a few steps. “Sorry. Forget that. I’m tired and stressed and not thinking clearly.”
Brian walked to the end of the bridge, found Natalia’s camera, and returned, dropping the camera into her hands.
She resisted the urge to stop him and jump into his arms, tell him she never wanted to forget that moment. But she couldn’t. They were both silent as they made their way back to the group.
“What took you guys so long?” Lexi’s smile quickly changed to a curious stare. “Um-hmm. And just what happened back there in the rain forest, Juliet?”
“What?” Natalia’s face heated. “We got my camera and came back.”
“Then why does Brian look all serious? Brian Younger Jr. never looks serious.” Lexi leaned in. “The rain forest would be a great place for a first kiss.”
“We barely even spoke,” Natalia said, louder than she intended. “And I don’t date. Or kiss. You know that.”
“I know that’s what you keep saying.” Lexi shrugged, obviously undaunted by Natalia’s arguments. “But your eyes tell me something different.”
“Please.” Natalia rolled her eyes.
“‘Please kiss me, Brian.’” Lexi laughed.
Natalia didn’t want to hear any more. “Which way to the waterfalls?”
Lexi pointed to her right. “But when it happens, let me just go on record as saying I called it.”
Natalia walked faster, meeting Spencer at the parapet overlooking the most beautiful waterfall she had ever seen. “Wow.”
The spray from the falls misted over the pair. “Amazing, right? We sure don’t have anything like this in Tampa.”
“Or Spain.”
“I have taken creation for granted, you know?” Spencer’s
eyes never left the waterfall. “I used to think of everything as just what we needed or what we could use to make money. But this—it’s just beautiful. God made it to be beautiful.”
“Like he’s showing off.” Natalia smiled.
“I’ve always heard people talk about God giving good gifts. But I never thought about what that meant. Now I get it.”
“What do you mean?”
“This.” Spencer motioned to the waterfall. “This is a good gift. God is showing us that he loves us by creating a world that isn’t just functional. It’s beautiful.”
“God delights in giving his children good gifts.” Natalia remembered having that conversation with Addy. She was referring to dating. She would, being head over heels in love with Jonathon Jackson. At the time, Natalia didn’t want to think about dating as a good gift. It was a curse she was trying to avoid. But maybe Addy was right.
“What are you thinking?” Spencer asked.
Natalia sighed. “I’m thinking that you are right. Maybe I do underestimate God’s goodness.”
Brian Younger Jr.’s face popped into Natalia’s mind and, for the first time, she let it linger.
Y
ou okay?” Spencer sat next to Natalia on the plane. But this was a different Spencer than the one who got on the plane just a few days before. Being in Costa Rica had changed him. No, God had changed him. Natalia was pleased, rather than annoyed, to have him as her seatmate.
“No.” Natalia wiped her eyes. “I’m not okay. I want to stay here.”
“I know what you mean.”
“The girls in my little group begged me to come back.”
“So go back—maybe during Christmas or spring break.”
Natalia thought about how much she’d love to do just that. But where would she ever get the money? The only reason she was able to come this time was . . . “By the way, thanks.”
“Thanks?” Spencer buckled his seat belt as the stewardess began her preflight speech.
“I know your family provided the money for me to come on this trip. I can’t thank you enough.”
“No.” Spencer hung his head. “I’m so embarrassed. It wasn’t my family. I just wanted you to think it was.”
“Oh.”
“I was such a jerk.” Spencer watched the flight attendant demonstrate the proper way to use the oxygen mask.
“I was just thinking of how much you’ve changed. God is really working in you.”
Spencer smiled. “I wish I’d listened to him before. This is amazing—talking to God, reading his Word. I used to laugh at you guys for your Bible studies. Now I get it.”
“I’m proud of you, Spencer.”
“What do you mean?”
“God spoke to you, and you listened.” Natalia felt the plane back away from the gate.
Natalia thought of Carmen back home. She prayed her best friend would find Jesus like Spencer did.
But Spencer didn’t find Jesus because he heard great arguments or read three-page e-mails filled with lessons from Bible class. It was God’s love and grace that broke through to his heart.
God, help me show that to Carmen, to love her to you. And thank you for showing me that with you, anything is possible.
Natalia looked out the window as the plane raced down the runway and shot into the sky. She was leaving a piece of her heart in Costa Rica. She didn’t know if she would ever get it back.
“Want to talk about it?” Dad asked as Brian stared at the backs of Natalia’s and Spencer’s seats.
“No.”
“Can I talk about it, then?”
“No.” Brian pulled a book out of his backpack and pretended to read.
“
Wuthering Heights
? Really?”
Brian moaned. “It’s for English. I need to get a head start.”
“If I remember my British literature correctly, that story is about a young man who pines for a girl for so long that he eventually becomes angry and reclusive.”
“I’m not angry and reclusive.” Brian turned the page. “And I’m not pining for a girl. Who says
pining
anyway? What are you, eighty?”
“Right, you’re not angry or pining.” Laughter laced his father’s voice.