Right Where I Belong
Acclaim for Krista McGee
“Good things come to those who wait—and pray.”
—
K
IRKUS
R
EVIEWS OF
S
TARRING
M
E
“Ripe with glitz and glamour of celebrity, the drive of ambition, and the angst of peer pressure,
Starring Me
is the perfect book for teenage girls. Krista McGee crafted strong characters who believably zoom in on their faith and decisions through the different lenses of their experiences.”
–N
ICOLE
O’D
ELL, AUTHOR OF THE
D
IAMOND
E
STATES
SERIES AND FOUNDER OF
C
HOOSE
NOW M
INISTRIES
“Spunky chick meets dreamy boy and auditions for a teen version of
Saturday Night Live
. What’s not to love?”
—S
HANNON
D
ITTEMORE, AUTHOR OF
A
NGEL
E
YES
,
REGARDING
S
TARRING
M
E
“[A] touching, fun, edifying, campy, quick and downright delicious teen read.”
—USAT
ODAY.COM
,
REGARDING
F
IRST
D
ATE
“McGee’s debut novel is an absolute gem. Anyone who enjoys reality television and a well-told story shouldn’t hesitate to read this great book.”
—
R
OMANTIC
T
IMES
TOP PICK!
REVIEW OF
F
IRST
D
ATE
“How would you like to live out the dramas of your teen life on national television? Krista McGee has crafted a cute tale of dating, faith, and being the girl God has called you to be.”
—J
ENNY
B. J
ONES, AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR OF
T
HERE
Y
OU
’
LL
F
IND
M
E
AND
A C
HARMED
L
IFE SERIES, REGARDING
F
IRST
D
ATE
R
ight
W
here
I B
elong
Also by Krista McGee
First Date
Starring Me
Right Where I Belong
Krista McGee
© 2012 by Krista McGee
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Thomas Nelson, Inc., titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail [email protected].
Publisher’s Note: This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. All characters are fictional, and any similarity to people living or dead is purely coincidental.
Scripture quotations are from THE NEW KING JAMES VERSION. © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Also quoted: HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION
®
. © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
McGee, Krista, 1975–
Right where I belong / Krista McGee.
p. cm.
Summary: After her father’s third divorce, seventeen-year-old Natalia decides to move with her stepmother, Maureen, from Spain to Florida to learn more of Maureen’s faith and to discover who she is away from her father’s expectations. Includes reading group guide.
ISBN 978-1-4016-8490-7 (pbk.)
[1. Fathers and daughters—Fiction. 2. Stepmothers—Fiction. 3. Christian life—Fiction. 4. Self-actualization (Psychology)—Fiction. 5. Spaniards—United States—Fiction. 6. Moving, Household—Fiction. 7. Tampa (Fla.)—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.M4784628Rig 2012
[Fic]—dc23
2012023813
Printed in the United States of America
12 13 14 15 16 QG 6 5 4 3 2 1
To Eliana—“God
answered” when he gave
you to Daddy and me
Contents
I
am leaving your stepmother.”
“Let me guess.” Seventeen-year-old Natalia did not fall for the woe-is-me, martyred expression on her father’s face. Not again, anyway. “She is not making you happy. You’ve found someone else. Life is too short to be tied down to one woman.”
“Natalia Ruth Montoya Lopez! You do not speak to your papa in that tone of voice.”
Shame clawed at Natalia’s stomach.
He’s right. Help me, Jesus. What do I say to him
?
Natalia inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry. But you keep leaving all the women in your life. How do I know you will not leave me too?”
Papa turned Natalia toward him, his face softening. “
Hija
. I will never leave you. You are my daughter. My flesh and blood. But women are different. You are young and you don’t understand. You fall in love and you fall out of love. Nothing can be done about that. It is part of life.”
“So this is what I have to look forward to? Falling in love with a man and then having him tell me a few years later that he doesn’t love me anymore? What about ‘till death do us part’? Doesn’t that mean
anything
?” Natalia hated the anger that kept bubbling up, but she didn’t know how to stop it.
“For some it does,
mi corazón
. Your grandparents were married for forty-seven years. And they were truly happy. I have often wondered if something is wrong with me. I just cannot seem to keep that feeling. I try . . .”
“Oh, Papa, please. You do not try. I have seen this, now, three times.”
“Natalia!”
She held up one finger. “Mamá—I was four. I can still remember the yelling. I would hide under my bed with the door shut and
still
hear the two of you.”
“That woman had a temper.” He looked out the window. “You didn’t know the half of it.”
“Yes, I do! I’m not saying she was perfect, but neither were you. And if either one of you had just accepted that fact, you might still be together.”
Papa turned around, opening his mouth to speak, but Natalia held up two fingers and continued. “Isabelle never did anything to you. She was like a slave: cooking, cleaning, cowering in fear. I remember she’d take little Ari outside in the middle of the night just so her crying wouldn’t wake you. And you kept her around for how long? Three years?”
He sighed. “Isabelle. No man can handle such a timid woman. It was nice for a while. A nice change from your mother’s yelling. But then . . . there was no passion. A man
cannot live without passion, hija. It was her own fault. I cannot help being a man and having a man’s needs.”
The image of her father and his “needs” rushed in full color into her brain, and Natalia tried not to gag. “And now we come to number three. Maureen.” Natalia stood inches from him. “I think she was the best one yet. She left her home and her family. Moving from the United States to Spain was not easy. Yet she did it. She learned the language, she adapted to our culture, and still you reject her.”
Natalia shook her head. “
I
have seen it coming, but I know the signs. I do not think she has any idea. You are going to break her heart, Papa. And for what? So you can do this all over again with a fourth and a fifth and a sixth?”
Natalia’s throat felt like it was closing in on itself. She couldn’t speak. She willed herself not to cry.
Why can’t I just stay angry? It’s so much easier to be angry.
Her father had hurt her so many times that she had learned to put up a wall around her heart, hardening herself to his outbursts, his ridiculous logic. But her heart broke for Maureen. She had seen good in Papa. She had loved him unconditionally, and Natalia had foolishly hoped he would live up to Maureen’s vision of who he was.
How childish that hope was.
“Natalia,” Papa said, like he was explaining to a toddler why she couldn’t have a cookie before dinner. “Someday you will understand. For now, help your stepmother. She depends on you.”
Natalia turned and walked away, refusing to listen to any more.
God, help me stay quiet. Better not to say anything at all than to say something I will regret.
“Natalia!”
She kept walking, out of the living room, down the hallway of the spacious apartment, into her room. She shut the door and considered locking it, but her father wouldn’t come. He would yell and get angry, but he would not try to sit down and work things out. He would let her stew and then, when Natalia emerged, he would act like everything was fine, as if they did not just have an argument. She had seen this dozens of times before. Just one of many reasons why the man couldn’t keep a wife.
Five years ago Maureen had come to Madrid with her company, which was in partnership with her father’s. Several companies from around the world had merged. Because Maureen’s position was supervised directly by Papa, they worked together often. After a few months he was bringing Maureen home to work after dinner. A few months after that he was bringing her home for good. From the beginning she had felt more like a friend to Natalia than a stepmother.
Natalia walked to her window. She took a deep breath, trying to will oxygen into lungs that felt dry and thick. Ragged breaths escaped. She pulled back the curtain to see the plaza below. Mopeds and smart cars lined up at a stoplight eight floors below. Children were playing soccer, parents were pushing toddlers in swings, fathers were pushing their babies around in their carriages. So many happy families. Natalia let the curtain fall back into place and sat on her bed, finally giving in to the wracking sobs she had held on to for so long.